HELP!!-Video-Gamer Daddy.. Advice/Opinions/Own Experiences.. Thanks.

Jennifer - posted on 08/16/2010

My husband loves gaming as much as I do so we both have time to play whilst our son's in bed =] Try compromising - say allocate 1 hour per day that he can play and you have 1 hour to do what you want to do.

Crystal - posted on 08/16/2010

This is very similar to me right now too. He is finally figuring it out though...We have been together for 7 years and we have a 2 year old and I am pregnant with number 2, so it is stressful here. I am also a stay at home mom and taking college online. My man is addicted to call of duty modern warfare 2, and its super annoying. he freaks out when you walk in front of the tv and stuff, its sad to me. lol. Anyway, in March of 2006, I left him. Straight up, I packed my tiny little hyundai accent with everything I had and left. I drove to my parents house in WA, I live in NM, so this was a very long trip. I was only gone for 2 weeks, but this worked. I have not had a single problem since. It was super hard to do, and I gave him no notice that I was leaving, I just left. It was really hard, I'm not even saying it isn't...but you already show the initiative, because you have already applied for everything. I think you should just move out and not say anything to him maybe leave a note if you feel like it. Then try telling him that you won't come back until he grows up, and if he can't then your staying gone. That is what worked. My man just needed to know what I was worth, and that worked really well. Especially if the computer is yours, not his. You can also unplug the entire computer cable from the wall, and the back of the machine. Then just find a really good hiding place, like a tampon box. He is probably not gonna look there. Anyway, I hope something here helps you. Good Luck.

Crystal

Erin - posted on 08/16/2010

OK, my husband plays COD MW2 all the time, and I'm ok with it. I have my time that I use to scrapbook and that helps my unwind and take a break from my 2 kids (ages 1 and 4). He does help out , communication is a very important thing in any relationship....I know you said it starts with talking and ends up in fights...as ours did too, then I realized that maybe its his escape from the world for a bit. Then again I am the most understanding person in the world. But if his playing is getting in the way of being a family then maybe a drastic step needs to be taken to make him see whats going on. Do what you feel is good for you and your son.

Becky - posted on 08/16/2010

My husband used to be like that. ALL the time he was on his game systems.. We set up a rule that no playing games while the kids are up. So during nap time and after bed he gets to play but nothing while the kids are up. If nothing helps leave. Pack a bag and tell him when he deicides to put his family first you will be back.

Stifler's - posted on 08/15/2010

Counselling.

Pamela - posted on 08/15/2010

my step-dad is bad for that but lucky for me my feanse seen what it was doing and slowed down on the gaming i'ed go crazy if i had to take care of our 2yr old and 5 month old by my self al the time but my mom just takes the power cord and hides it

Alice - posted on 08/14/2010

Have you thought of unplugging the cd drive? (internally, like is he good with computers? if not, unscrew yours and just unplug the little multi-colored cable that looks like a big telephone cable from the back of the cd drive and his cd won't run anymore)

Seriously, Rebecca is so right. You need to think about you and your baby. You need to make him see that he's wasting time and losing his family.

My brothers & two of my sisters are into Halo3, which at least is free, but still... they play it like it's water and air! However, my brothers work full-time and do well at their jobs and my sisters go to school and excell in their studies. When they are babysitting my children, I know they will put the babies above the game - every time. My husband works a wierd crazy 70+ hour a week schedule and we like to play board games together. He does like this one computer game CIV4, but not online (I use our computer for my at-home job so he doesn't want to crash it) but I totally get the his game over my job thing. Because I did online school and when my husband wanted to play his game it didn't matter what I needed to do online. Finally I got so frustrated at it that one day (his day off) - he had zoned out on the game and wouldn't answer questions - I gathered the girls and put them in their swim suits, which they ran around in yelling "yeah, the beach!" for about a half-hour, then we just went to the van. Just before I started the van, he came out of the house and wanted to know where we were going. When Christina (6) told him, "we been telling you daddy, the beach!" he apologized and asked us to wait a second so he could come too. That evening he talked about staying away from the game. A week later I was talking to him about our girls visiting their grandparents and coming back with their 17-y-o aunt on the train. He kept noding and going "yeah, sure" so when I said "really, you agree to them coming back ont he train with my sister?" (because I didn't) he did his nod and "yeah, sure" and I laughed. "Okay, I'm calling mom back now" and kept laughing.
He realized something was up and yelled (b/c the phone was in the kitchen and around the corner) "what's going on?" I said "you agreed to it. I'm not so sure, but since it's okay with you, I'm going to call mom back." He ended up almost begging me to find out what was going on. So I told him and he said "no" (as I'd originally hoped, as my sister could handle one, but not all three of them on a train for 4 hours!). He got rid of the cd that afternoon.

I think it is like an addiction for some guys. I don't know why it doesn't seem to affect us girls that way, though. I can play a game and get involved in it and have fun but then it's over, and I'm not drooling to play again.

Get someone who has been there to help. Or maybe his dad or another important guy figure in his life. I hope it works out for you.

Devin - posted on 08/13/2010

Oh wow similar boat you and I. [down to the same arguments EVERYTHING] My husband is in the Navy and he was GREAT with newborn Aubree he couldn't take his eyes off of her but as she got older [really once she 10 months] he started playing an old game he used to play. "Maple story" its a simple mmropg I even started playing so we could something to talk about; then it got to the point to where it seemed to consume him. Like he would get home from work go straight to computer in our bed room and stay there. He only got up from that desk to eat dinner, use the restroom, go outside to smoke a cigarette, and 5 minutes just to come kiss Aubree good night. It got bad to where I just quit playing with him because that was ALL he wanted to talk about. Until one day we went home to TX to see our family for a few weeks and he got into argument there about him not helping me when on vacation, and its the same as when are home. I cant handle him missing out on the most beautiful little girl ever and if kept it up with ignoring us then one day we might not be there. And since then he has been much better and much more involved he still plays but it doesn't consume him like was

Rebecca - posted on 08/13/2010

Wow, hun, that sounds pretty tough. Correct me if I'm wrong, I don't think I am as my little bro plays WOW, you have to pay a fee to actually play the game right? It's like a yearly or monthly thing but it's not cheap right? If you are working your butt off at home and working through school online, that is you and your child's future. Sorry but if he can't figure out that playing WOW for a cost while you are on unemployment doesn't make good sense he might not be that mature yet. That doesn't make him a bad person, it just means he may not be emotional mature enough to really do what it takes to be a solid partner and father.

I'm sure you might know this already but take it from a woman who's been there. Sometimes, men who are immature, don't have to balls to tell you they may not want to be with you/deal with the responsibility of being a grown up partner/father. Instead, they act completely unreasonable, purposely do things they should know not to, act like little kids and play WOW while you work your ass off...so you'll eventually break it off with them. It's a sad passive aggressive thing to do but it happens...ALOT.

Focus on you and your kid. Ask yourself, if a good friend of yours came to you and told you she was in the same situation, what would you tell her? Would you say she deserves better? Would you tell her that living on her own as a single mom is better than living with a partner who is essentially another kid to take care of?

People are who they are. I won't say people don't change but they have to want to change and badly. You can't make a man change who doesn't want to, who is just not mature enough to make those changes. It's sad but its true.

Don't be afraid to do what you have to do. You may find that you've been doing it all on your own anyway and he's just been the guy on the couch taking up your school computer time.

Who knows, if you start making plans to do it on your own, he might just think about what he'd be losing.