Amanda - posted on 04/01/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )
Amanda - posted on 04/01/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )
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Lauren - posted on 04/02/2010
I have been with my bf for 7 years and he had 2 boys in a previous relationship. When we first met the boys were living with their mom b/c my bf was going through some real rough times with the split. As soon as we got a place together she basically pawned the boys off to us. She had her 1st when she was 16 and he was 18. Everyone told me that she was a good mother but as the years have gone by she has gotten worse. She is constantly in and out of relationships, parties all time, has had several abortions, and really doesnt have a home to call her own. She is now 29 and only sees the boys 1 day a week if that. She never calls and doesnt pay child support. Since I have basically been their mother for this long without really any help from her, she thinks she has the nerve to tell me how to raise them. Here they have a stable home and have and get everything they need. Since my bf and I have been together we have had 4 other children. So yes, we are a family of 8!!!!! Every time we got pregnant she would spread rumours about us (I think it was jealousy more than anything). People are quick to grow up but then when something like a child comes along they think they can still do the same things that they did before kids. I frustrates me that she is this way because the boys love their mom but she really doesnt give them the time of day. Any women can give birth but it takes a REAL WOMEN to be a MOTHER!!!!!
Shannen - posted on 04/01/2010
It depends on what you really mean by this. A bit more of an explanation would be good!
Christy - posted on 04/01/2010
Samantha - posted on 04/01/2010
i don understand it either my babys father has apsolutley nothing to do wit me and my daughter he hasnt made a ounce of anything to talk or see or anything since the day i told him i was pregnat so he is willing to let some other man raise his daughter but even if he wanted anything to do wit her i wouldn want him to cuz his fiance would be holdin my daughter doin all that actin like her mom or anything close to it and i hate that.. but lukly i keep her 24 seven but then again sometimes ppl arent made to be parents some are born to be great mothers and fathers but others may not have that great mom baby connection or father baby connection.. i guess its just depends on the person everyones diffrent
i would never be able to let someone else raise my daughter i would die if my daughter called someone else mommy but some ppl are just diffrent
Sarah - posted on 04/01/2010
Sometimes that is what makes a true mother. I think the question can be taken in many different ways. In some situations there are mothers that place their babies for adoption. These are mothers that want the best for their children and realize that at that particular time they can't give the best to their child so find someone that can. They love their child so much that they are willing to hurt so their child can be in a better place. This is a VERY UNSELFISH thing. It is also a VERY HARD thing to do.
On the other hand you can take the question asking those mothers that have decided to parent and now hand their child off to someone else to pretty much do the raising of that child being gone for extended periods of times (weeks, etc.). I think these are the people that either don't know how to parent, possibly not having parents as good role models or they have lots of dysfunction in their life and are overwelhemed and shut down. Or are more self-centered and put their child after themselves.
Lynn - posted on 04/01/2010
My grandmother had several children. She simply enjoyed the attention she got when she was pregnant. She got pregnant by a married man. He wanted nothing to do with her or the child. So When the child was very very young, just a few weeks i believe, my grandmother was falling short on rent, and GAVE the child to the landlord. To this day she refuses to talk about it. And at first she denied it. She denied it for about 35 years. And finally I found the lady online. And the lady gave me all the details that I was told in the past by my older uncles and aunts. ANd the details matched exactly. So I confronted my grandma with the details, and she stopped denying that she was the ladies mom, but still refuses to talk about it. She says that her decision is and was her own business.
Amy - posted on 04/01/2010
I wonder this to! i baby sit a little 1 year old boy sometimes every day of the week from 6 am to 8 pm. his parents are getting a divorce but that shouldnt be an excuse. he is leaving for deployment in may for 6 months. she told me today that she is going from full time to part time so she will pnly be working thursday friday and saturday from 9 to 6. and his father has him on sunday, monday and tuesday. well to me that means i will only babysit on thursday and friday because she is off the days herex husband has him and is working. i was dead wrong. i have him now every day but wednesday. she said she is off extra days so she can spend more time with him. but yet they are paying me to keep him while the dad works and she sets at home. i buy diapers, food, clothes and everything else he needs and they dont seem to care. my brother does the smae thing with his 3 and 1 yr olds
Angie - posted on 04/01/2010
I wonder the same thing. My stepson's biological mother sold one of her kids to her landlord's daughter, then later lost her remaining four kids due to neglect. She was given sooooo many opportunities to get her kids back, but wouldn't cooperate with the court system until two of the kids were placed with their fathers. I thought it was because she was overwhelmed, but then she went and had a sixth kid with yet another guy. At 29 she has six kids with 4-5 different dads, has been married 3-4 times, and has lost/sold three of her kids.
Emilie - posted on 04/01/2010
I have custody of my kids. I hate when they go to their fathers house because I feel like I should be with them all the time, but that is different than somebody else raising your child. My ex husbands little sister had a baby when she was 16. She is very immature and irrisponsible. Everybody thought when the baby arrived that she would mature and grow up, but she didn't. Now she is living with her boyfriend. She is 19 now and lived with her parents up till now. Her son just turned 3 and he wanted to stay with his grandparents and she let him. I think it is probably the best thing for him because she is way to immature to take care of him and raise him.
Brittany - posted on 04/01/2010
i will never understand. my husband had a son when i met him. he shared custody with the mom, who i met only a few times and said little more than hi or bye, and when this beautiful little boy was 6 months old his mother (after being accused of abuse) walked away from him. she has 4 other children (all girls, 2 older and 2 younger) and she still has contact with all of them. i am his mommy...and hopefully within the next month we are going to start the process of me adopting him! : )
i also know a woman who let her mom raise her baby until she had a second baby...then wanted them both all the time...and she is having a lot of problems with her older child b/c she has been raised by her grandma for 2 years and now all of a sudden her "mom" who was almost never around wants to step up.
Monica - posted on 04/01/2010
u can't know until you've walked in their shoes. :)
Kayliecia - posted on 04/01/2010
Im not sure but i would like to know why as well..and not only women but Men as well. My brother in law makes his mother take care of his kids, and the mom is gone and has like 5 other kids of her own..so i dont know but i would like to know why. or how they thing that its okay.