How can I get my son to stop hitting me?

Alysha - posted on 09/22/2010 ( 195 moms have responded )

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My son will be 14 months on the 5th of oct. and he hits me everyday for the lasst couple days so far today it as been 3 times...i hit his hand and tell him no n he does it again n ill do it bak n he will to...i dont like hittin him but it breaks my heart that he hits me..he does not hit my husband or his gwanny who lives next door..it makes me feel like he hates me..i dont know if it is bcuz he is with me 24/7 and what not...i dont know what to do

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Rebecca - posted on 09/22/2010

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He's hitting because he can and because you're letting him hit. When he swings at you, whether he makes contact or not, say, "No. We don't hit." and put him down (I assume that you're holding him when this happens.). If he does it again, say, "No. We don't hit." Set him away from you or send him to go play by himself (redirect). If he keeps coming at you and trying to hit, say, "No. We don't hit." You can sit him in a chair, put him in his crib or playpen for 1 or 2 minutes (start counting the time AFTER he stops crying/screaming). Just be consistent. EVERY time he swings at you, tell him no and show him by your reaction that you don't approve of the behaviour.

You said that he doesn't hit his granny, so you know that he's capable of self-control. Ask granny if he's ever tried to hit her and then ask how she responded. Do what she did! :^) Stick with it!!!!

[deleted account]

I am going to tell you what WORKED for us since my son (3.5 now) went through this about that same age as yours is now. He would slap your face for attention. Hitting him back and even saying no is giving him the reinforcement that he is looking for. He is seeking attention so by not giving him what he wants when he hits or slaps he will stop the behavior. I got the advice from a parent with teenagers because she said it worked within 48 hours of started it. Worked within 24 hours for us. Basically, he would hit us and then we would turn our head. Don't look at him, don't talk to him, don't acknowledge him AT ALL. After 1 day...the hitting stopped and he started getting our attention in a more positive way and we praised him like crazy for the times he did it in a way that we approved. If you tell them no or raise your voice you are just giving them negative reinforcement on the behavior you want them to stop. I know it sounds crazy, but it worked for the other mother and it worked for us too...twice. I did this same thing for a little 15mo girl that we babysit each day. Hope that helps. Good Luck!

Lisa - posted on 09/22/2010

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Toddlers, boys moreso than girls, hit because it is physical contact and they believe that hitting is still touching so really he is trying to show you affection. We're going through it with my son right now and whenever he hits I tell him hugs and kisses for mommy, no hitting.

Jennifer - posted on 09/22/2010

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You are contradicting yourself, by hitting back. He hears you say no, but then sees you hit, so he's probably getting really confused. I would try telling him no, and explaining to him that it hurts (it may sound funny to explain something to a 14mo old, but kids are a lot smarter than they get credit for). After you have done that, I have found for that age distraction works best. Try to get him to focus on something else. Like maybe tell him, "let's pick up the toys" or "look at the bird out the window"

Amalea - posted on 09/23/2010

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My son went thru the slapping of my face, and he did the head banging on the floor as well. You tell them sternly 'no we dont hit' or 'no we dont fuss' and put them in a playpen or somewhere they can be by themselves for a minute. Because if you walk away and let them carry on, youre really not punishing them at all. I know its heart breaking to reprimand your kid, trust me the first time I swatted my sons bottom I cried (he was 3, and I dont want any negative replies about that pls, its another matter) But if you show that you are serious and wont tolerate such behavior, theyll change. But if you hit them back, they see its okay. If youre holding him when he hits you, you hold his hands down and tell him no, and why. It takes time and alot of patience, but it will help.

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Erin - posted on 02/11/2012

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I'm going through the same thing! ARGH! I usually lose it and yell because we have graduated from swatting mom with the silky to golf balls at the head. He may be bored but even grabbing his hands and calmly telling him "we don't hit mommy" doesn't seem to do anything!!!

Kelly - posted on 11/02/2010

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my son is almost 2 years old, and he does the same smacks me in the face out of nowhere, i cop it, i smack him very slightly with the back of my hand, it doesnt hurt him , but to let him know it hurts, i think it is that he is just testing the boundaries/buttons, he loves does love you, i guess its a boy thing, lol

Delany - posted on 10/17/2010

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I would just restrain him and sit in the corner with him. When he calms down, turn him around Look him in the eyes and say " No hitting. You could even pretend to cry so he knows it hurts you. Enough times of repeating that and he will stop.

Tawana - posted on 10/16/2010

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back in da days it was cool 2 whip ur child now u will go to jail i think things should still been like da old days whip there ass cuz if u let them slide once they are gonna keep doing it then they will run u & rule u i feel u on this one cuz my baby is 16 months & he tries me too its not that he dislikes u, he just know that he can getaway with alot of things with u, u gonna have 2 show him that u are da mother cuz otherwise u will have way much more problems when he gets older so try 2 stop him now while hes still young!!!!!!!!

Cookatie - posted on 10/15/2010

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Hi, my son is 15 months and he hits and bite, i try everything to make him stop but it sames has if the harder i try the more he does it, my son his home with me 24/7 too but i think u should keep at it because one day he will stop.

Noel - posted on 10/15/2010

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my son is also having trouble with hitting and yes most days he takes at least a couple swats at me.it can be very frustrating and hard to deal with.i hold his arms down and firmly tell him that hitting is NOT ok.and if i have to tell him until he understands i will because i know that children imitate their parents and if i hit him then all he will learn is that it is ok to hit someone only if they are smaller than you and are doing something that you dont want them to do.for me, violence is not the answer.god bless you.

Judee - posted on 10/14/2010

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Thanks and this makes, sense! "Don't hit me, but it's ok if I hit you".... they will learn from our example.

Davia - posted on 10/08/2010

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Becky you are not just hitting him back. One as a parent you are entitled to discipline your children. I guess because where I come from it is ok to some extent. There is however a vast difference between discipline and abuse. There are those who are just downright violent with there children and then there are those who remember the bible says "Spare the rod, spoil the child." To each his own.

Elizabeth - posted on 10/07/2010

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seriously girl, i am going through the 13 month old hitting stage. i have put him in time out, it seems to work. but like yours he hits , i tell him no, as soon as i let his hands go, he hits again. it's a vicious cycle. time out gives him a chance to chill, and he cries so i know he doesn't like it. if you find a miracle cure let me know. :) ps. i struggled alot with wondering if my oldest son hated me when he was two.. it's the worst feeling ever! but i know now that he loved me most. just as ur little boy does. if u do ur best, love him, hold him when he's sleepy, kiss boo boos and sit in the bathroom for an hour just so he can play boat rescue in the tub for one more minute; then HE LOVES YOU MOST:)

Petra - posted on 10/07/2010

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hi, my son do the same thing to me and i did the same thing to him. well, it's better if you just stay away from him when he's in the mood of hitting you, i observed that when you hit your kid he hits you back. it's better that you talk to him, i did that to my son and he listens. when he starts hitting me i will remind him of what we talked about and he would stop. when he starts hitting me again i will punish him by standing at the corner for 5 mins. at this time he doesn't hit me anymore, and he doesn't like to stand at the corner. i hope this help, regards. =))

Christina - posted on 10/06/2010

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i would not hit him back either. ITs like you are enabling the hitting generally. Hitting someone else is not permitted. and I agree he is testing his strength and boundaries. But he has to learn that this is not ok. because then he will hit other children when he goes to school. I would say" We dont hit other people and when you hit me it hurts me. Next time he does it say the same thing again and again. If he continues then put him in the boring chair or time out.. whatever you use for discipline. But whatever you do, dont; hit him back. hope this helps.

[deleted account]

guess what? i think he loves you more than anybody else. he knows he can 'trust' you more. he knows you will always be around for him, than anyone else. that is just the way he shows you his affection. think positive, dear. be firm but not harsh. tell him not to hit you, in the best voice tone ever. don't scold for he will not obey.
or maybe dear Alysha, you are about to conceive again, that your son can 'feel' it. or, you have something bothering in mind that your son is trying to distract you. :)

i am a mother of 4. this is just my two cents! :))

Eleni ( Helen ) - posted on 10/06/2010

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My son is 19 months old there was a point when he was 16 months when he started to hit me I did hit tap his hand back and told him NO we dont hit I know it was wrong and regretted doing so straight away but when he tried to do it again another time I did not respond by hitting him back but I did hold his hands down by his side and said firmly NO we do not hit thats naughty then I quickly distracted him and made him laugh then I asked him for a kiss and a kiss is what I received he has not done it again but recently he has started throwing tantrums and screaming and throwing his self backwards and kicking out it is very hard sometimes to deal with it but you just have to stay calm, I have to put him down somewhere safe and when he calms down I wil say 'Have you finished now' he will just look at me with a look of confusion like his wondering why I am not getting stressed and telling him off then I will just carry on doing what needs to be done like brush his teeth or bath him etc after a few moments he will be back to his usual happy self and giving mummy lots of giggles and kisses Alysha please dont get offended by any advice on here just do what you need to do but PLEASE PLEASE DONT GIVE UP OK you will find a way to deal with it just remember this if you son does it again then take his hands and tell him 'no thats naughty dont hit mummy we dont hit' then ignore it dont bring it up again just distract him with a silly face and do some thing silly like peek a boo and lots of tiggles then when his stopped laughing ask for a kiss see how he react's. Read lots of advice in baby mag's and parenting websites try differents methods not every mum and baby are the same dont listen to negative remarks just trust your instinc your doing a great job remember its the hardest but most enjoyable job in the world and your not alone ;-) x

Katy - posted on 10/06/2010

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Hi Alysha,
My son is the same, and it bloomin hurts!!! He's hit me on the head with my hairdryer and other "tools" numerous times. He isn't being malicious, he just doesn't understand that it hurts and he's so heavy handed.
I have just started calmly saying no, whilst looking stern at him. I then leave the room for 10 seconds. I am being consistent and there is defo some progress.
The thing not to do is shout at them or hit back. Otherwise they are just learning that it's ok to hit, cause you did it! The less attention they get from you, the less they do it. Gie him lots of hugs and kisses when he does something positive.
Good luck xxx

Judy - posted on 10/06/2010

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He's got a game going on with you. He's getting your attention and because boys tend to like more physical play this is fun to him. My youngest son liked to bite my 10 yr old.... no one else. Try picking a timeout place. Everytime he hits, pick him up, very sternly tell him no and he has to go to timeout. Then place him in the chair or whatever and leave him there/ turn your back/ take away your attention from him. Maybe for all of a minute or two. Them let him down repeating that there is no hitting. At first he won't believe you so pick a time to start when you can dedicate yourself to breaking his habit

Yhomaira - posted on 10/06/2010

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You know I have the same problem. I tell you what I think its because Mothers are the ones who show more caring and we sometimes let them get away with things and they see that so they would think they can do anything. I know you tap his hand and I do the same but I think we have to be strong to an extent where our attitude should be more forwarded to them just like daddys do. That way they learn what's not right. Hope my advice can help.

Kerrie - posted on 10/06/2010

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If my son hits he gets time outs. He was doing the same, he was hitting all the time. Especially me. We use time out effectively for a lot of things. So we just had to start disciplining more. Time outs increase. And his attitude decreased.

Anne - posted on 10/06/2010

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My son went through the exact same sort of thing. The head banging was worse than the hitting. When he banged his head we were just shocked and stunned and didn't know what to do at first, so we rushed in an dpicked him up off the floor and put him in a "car seat" hold until he calmed down. But that was time consuming and didn't keep him from trying to bang his head again later. One time he was at Grandma's house and did it and she snatched him up off the ground and told him, "we do not bang our heads" and spanked him. I guess he was so shocked, he never did it again. On the hitting again we would grab his hands and tell him in the sternest, nmost serious fashion we could that he was not to hit "Do not hit." Then we would put him in the car seat hold for a minute or whatever it took. We used what we called the car seat hold because he would not stay in timeout. It works like this. Put him in your lap put your legs on top of his legs and your arms over his arms and hold him tight and close. Sometimes my son would try to buck and hit whoever was holding him withi his head. I think the whole entire pattern of behavior was related to him trying to express himself and being unable to do so. I do not think there is one final solution for every situation, you just have to experiment and find something that works for your situation. Keeping the message consistent is important as is being absolutely firm about what is appropriate and what is not. You can not do this on the fly. It takes time. I wish you the best of luck with this. I know you are going through a really hard time. Please take some Mommie time if you can. It will help you handle your son much more calmly which will make a difference.

[deleted account]

He is 14 months so a lot of explanation is really wasted. My son used to hit me all the time and no one else and like you, it would break my heart. My pediatrician said it was because he was comfortable enough with me to show his true emotions and because he can't express himself verbally, he acts out. I accepted that explanation, but it didn't make the hitting stop. When he hits you grab his hands and look him dead in the eye and say NO. Be on the alert so that when he tries again, you are ready and grab his hands again looking him in the eye and say NO. I did this (pediatrician's advice) for some time and for the most part it worked but my son continued to hit or attempt to hit me until he was around 2.5. He stopped when he hit me one time and I hit him back...hard. He has never hit me since. (FYI--my son is 9 years old now and that was my first and only time hitting him)

[deleted account]

so many are worried you are going to give him attention and that is exactly what he is wanting. I guess I see it is if he is hitting for attention than maybe he does needs some. My experience has taught me to give more when they have negative behavior because they are NEEDING more. Hurt and anger come from unmet needs no matter what age the person is, so find out what the need is and meet it.;o)

[deleted account]

I would talk to him about his feelings, even at that young age he is starting to have feelings and express them, I would say something like, "Please dont hit me, I know you are mad because I wont let you play with that glass but I am trying to stop you from hurting yourself." or "I am sad that you are hitting me, please show mommy what you are mad about" He may not really understand what you are saying but you are showing him that when he has a feeling he can talk about it instead of just hitting back or putting him off somewhere alone to deal with his feelings, which he has no idea how to deal with or he wouldnt be hitting. This really is a natural thing for his age, he doesnt hate you I think he feels you are a safe place to be himself and test reactions. He is testing you, pass the test ;o)

Lyndzee - posted on 10/06/2010

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It also really helps to show him how to touch gently. We took our sons hand and stroked it gently on our faces. This doesn't always work when he is upset, but after time out we have him touch our faces gently to say sorry. However, 14 months is a little young for time out so rather than hitting, just grab his hands and look right in his face and say "no" sternly then put him down and walk away. I absolutely agree with no attention for this action.

Danielle - posted on 10/06/2010

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My 3 year old constantly smacks me and it actually hurts. He will climb on me pretending he wants a hug then does it out of the blue. What i am trying to do is time out or i take his favorite toy even if he isn't playing with it at the time because when he sees it going away he wants it. My 7 month old has also adapted this habit by watching his big brother do this so i put him in his pram for time out with a stern NO THAT'S NOT NICE. I hope this helps but i also understand that every child is different. If u have any ideas for me to prevent it would be appreciated also. Hope it goes well, let us know. xx

Jessie - posted on 10/05/2010

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I agree with Jennifer's post 100%. We talk very calmly with our daughter (13months old) and she responds very well. We give her instructions and she does it (it might not stick, but she does it at least once and completely understands what we say) and we taught her Baby Signs (Sign Language) and she uses that a lot on a daily basis...she now copies every sign we do! it's truly amazing to me. My point with this is that she is a lot smarter than we give her credit for and her copying and gestures are her only way of really communicating, so he is probably copying you and also trying to communicate something with you...maybe try some sign language gestures or other movements that will better help him express how he feels or what he wants in that moment. I would say to give it a good month, but he should be fully understanding and using the signs back in no time. Definitely use the word with the specific sign so as not to confuse him. : )

We too use the distraction method but instead of saying no, we would use the following as an example, "We don't play with the dog's water Jaiden. where are your magnets" ....she immediately turns around and goes to the fridge to play, then I try to distract her again with something else soon after so that she doesn't want to go back to the water...it works really well. Good luck!

[deleted account]

I didn't get to read a lot of the posts because I don't have time.
The ones I did see some say, don't him back, and some say smack his hand.

I don't think smacking his hand teaches him it's ok to hit or makes him fear you. I think hitting back actually teaches little ones that it hurts and they don't want to be hurt. He probably does it with you because most kids will test the parent they spend the most time with.
If you smack his hand and tell him no and he does it again put him down and walk away, bad attention is still attention. If he throws a fit ignore it.

Becky - posted on 10/05/2010

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First of all- DON'T HIT HIM BACK- you are teaching him that it is okay to hit ! When he hits you firmly tell him- "no, that is not nice" and put him down if you are holding him, or walk away if you are not. If he continues after you have done this several times- place him in a safe spot and walk away- it could be in his crib or on a small stool- just always make it the same place. Always tell him "no," and follow the no with "we do not hit, that is not nice or no hitting mommy" If you smack him back you are reinforcing the behavior that you want to go away. It is not because he hates you, it is because it is developmentally appropriate behavior for a 14 month old and he wants to see what will happen next. And as far as him not hitting your husband or his granny- he is comfortable with you- he knows that you will still love him no matter what he does, so you are going to get the worst behaviors- and the best! So, don't fell less loved that he chooses to hit you- it is a stage that all children his age go through- and like I said, he knows that you are always going to be there and love him. Good luck!

Vatsala - posted on 10/05/2010

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Sorry to hear that. Firstly is he getting his sleep/naps? many a times little ones react in that manner because they may be over-tired. He probably does not even mean to hurt you and most likely does not realise that he is hurting you in the process. Many suggestions here have been great about saying firm 'No' and then distracting. It is understandable how frustrating it must get repeating no again and again. Do persevere, this phase will pass.

Davia - posted on 10/05/2010

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my little girl hits me. sometimes it's from excitement, other times it's rudeness. the key is hit him and don't make it seem as if you are playing a game. you are the parent he is thev child. form a balance, he doesn't hate you; hitting is something they do. next give him toys to hit or drum on to release that energy.

Davia - posted on 10/05/2010

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hit him back.
lol before someone starts screaming child abuse. just giv a tap on the hand and a stern look and no. he'll no next time it's not right. if you start light discipline now,there's less discipline when they get older.

Amber - posted on 10/05/2010

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I have to say that though it may be a contradiction to hit back it is done in the wild all the time and sometimes... NOT all the time it is necessary to give him a dose of what he is doing to you. I finally had to with my little man. You may also be inconsistent with him in other ways so he may think it is a joke. Or instead of your voice going deeper when you say no and almost "Man Like" it may go higher pitched and for some strange reason kids and animals don't take that seriously.
just keep it up be consistent and do what the animals do in the wild to a reasonable point of course. I found it worked with my daughter who is now a 11 and when I get desperate it works with my boy who is turning 3 next month. Take care.

Cindy - posted on 10/05/2010

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Remember this: negative attention is still attention. The MO of ALL children is parental attention. The least amount of attention you can give during discipline, but with complete consistency, will be your key to success. Stern, quiet voice, tell him once, and sit him in time out, or put him in the corner. Do NOT explain anything to him, except the words 'You may NOT hit anyone.' Keep any talking to a minimum and leave the explanation for long after the punishment is over and you and him a quality moment to talk about it. Sit him in time out as many times as it takes or as long as it takes, for him to sit there quietly and still. Do this EVERY TIME he hits you. NEVER let one time slide! The key to discipline is not in the method, but in the consistency. But a word of advice, hitting to teach no hitting, is not as successful as other methods :) Keep at it. This pattern of hitting requires a lot of work from the parent to curb it, especially patience. Remember, even negative attention is still attention. This goes for all ages of children.

Susan - posted on 10/05/2010

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Another suggestion is to have you and your husband read Growing Kids God's Way by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo.

Susan - posted on 10/05/2010

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I totally agree with Lisa Berends! Lisa has the best response that I have read so far. When he hits use a stern voice and tell him No, hitting. LOVE Mommy...and take his hand and have him stroke your arm or the area that he just hit you at. NEVER place your child in the crib/bed unless it is sleep time. NOT time out. Find another safe place for time out. You don't want your child to start feeling that crib/bed is a bad place or a place he doesn't like to be in because he thinks he is being placed in time out. A key to disapline is being consitant....even if it wears you out becuase you are doing or saying the same thing over and over to your child. **Also, if your son hits you in front of your husban....it is a very good idea to have your husband tell and show your son to love mommy and have him take your sons hand to stroke your arm.

Amy - posted on 10/05/2010

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I definetely suggest Love and Logic, which is exactly what Dana is talking about. Also, I agree with Amy Marshall. Do NOT hit him back. It creates resentment and fear in your child. They will withdraw their feelings from you instead of sharing them trustingly. I have tried the spanking thing with my now 7 yr. old son. I can see now looking back that it did no good and now I have to earn his trust back. I have since changed the way I parent. Hitting/Spanking may work for a time, but your children WILL one day fight back! I promise you! Read up on Love and Logic and try any of the remedies suggested, EXCEPT for hitting. Believe me it builds anger in them and they close up their feelings with you, it WILL bite you in the behind later!!

Valeri - posted on 10/05/2010

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My son bit me a couple of times when he was near your son's age and I just said "ouch!" really loud and pretended to cry. He would get sooo upset he only did it a few times.I didn't have this problem until my son was around 20 months. When he hits it's an immediate time-out. I'm the only one that gets hit in this house too. Now at 23 months, the hitting is getting less frequent. You have to be consistant though. Good luck.

Annette - posted on 10/05/2010

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I think the Love and Logic's program is awesome and works wonders. It worked for my biting two year old and she did hit me only twice and I used love and logic on her and she has not hit since. It works for temper tantrams, acting out and so much more. I will not use anything else.

Christina - posted on 10/05/2010

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hi mommy, first i am confident in saying that mommies always get the torture because we are closer to the children in most cases. see it for the good aspects of that. it's like they have more confidence with us or feel more comfortable in expressing their little selves with us. secondly, he may be going through that stage where children like to see the affects of their actions. it's like when they enjoy dropping their toys on the floor over and over again just to get you to pick it up for them each time. perhaps introduce something to him that clearly displays cause and affect. perhaps a toy that reacts upon pushing a button or pulling a string. another idea that comes to mind is that he may be wanting attention so try doing the opposite of getting upset and laugh or simply ignore his actions. good luck!

Laura - posted on 10/05/2010

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My daughter who will be 15 months on Oct. 16th has been hitting me for months, i dont hit her back as i really dont think she is doing it to be mean at her age. She will hit me, then rub where she hit, kiss & hug me, saying "aww". From everything ive read on hitting at this age its all just them learning & NOT them trying to be mean or violent. When my daughter hits i tell her "No, its not ok to hit people". sometimes she will continue & again i repeat that "hitting isnt ok". You shouldnt hit your son back anymore, it is only teaching him hitting is ok. He is still to young to really understand.

Deborah - posted on 10/05/2010

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my son hits me all the time and hes 9 months he has been doing that ever sense 5 months.but its play hitting.dont hit him back cause thats letting him know its okay to hit,my cuz went though the same thing until she stopped hitting him back and stopped.but he doesnt hate you he doesnt know right from wrong yet.u have to teach him whats right and what wrong.

Rachel - posted on 10/05/2010

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Hi my son Jett used to smack me , I'd pretend to cry and say" aw Poor Mummy Jett no more hurt". He would then hug me and say "you alright?" Ha be fine if he kept hands to himself..lol. He a boob grabber too. Jett has learned not to smack.He 3 now.

Melody - posted on 10/04/2010

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My son will be 16 months at the end of this month and I have the same problem with him. For a few months I tried telling him no and hitting him on his hand also but it didn't seem to make any difference what so ever. But then I started instead, to take his hand after he would hit me (he generally likes to hit my face) and gently rub my face with his hand. I would say things like "we have to be gentle" or "we love mommy" it seems to do the trick. Now he generally only hits when he is angry, which is leading me to the task of teaching him how to get his frustration out in different ways....but I am still figuring that one out :) Hope this helps, and don't feel like he hates you...my little guy still gives me hugs & kisses too! ♥

Lori - posted on 10/04/2010

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I did a TON of research and talked to many professionals about this issue. My son was a big time hitter from when he was about 9 months until about 20 months. I was his main target. Eventually he started hitting his Dad and Grandma, but it took longer with them because he wasn't with them as much as me. From the information I read and was told, it is a trust thing. Your child is probably experimenting with different things, like hitting, and YOU are his target because he trusts you and knows that you will love him unconditionally. As far as trying to cope with it...just try to look at it as a strange compliment...that he trusts you so much that he will be himself 100% around YOU. We tried a couple different methods to get him to stop. We tried saying "OUCH! That's hurt! We don't hit" But after a while, he started to use that to get attention (like when I was paying for groceries and talking to the cashier). So then I tried mostly ignoring it, giving him a look, and then walking away. That worked, but it was hard on me because he would cry so hard when I walked away...like I was abandoning him. I am pretty sure he was just caught off-guard and was embarrassed and sad that I would walk away from him. Eventually, we would just ask him "Would you like it if someone hit you?" And he always answered "No" so we would say "Well then please don't hit me/us" It seems to work. I think he has hit maybe once in the last 4 months. Each kid is different. My kid definitely catches on to things best if we explain them to him in detail. Also...redirect redirect redirect! That usually works the best for the younger kids. Try methods you are comfortable with for an extended amount of time and be consistent. If it truly isn't working or making it worse, try another method. Something will work or your son will grow out of it eventually. Know that you are NOT alone. It IS normal (for most kids). And it will end. Good luck!

Tracey - posted on 10/04/2010

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it could be that you are together 24/7 hun but also if he knows that hes going to get someform of reaction out of it may it be positive ot negative then he will do it all the more and it could get worse before it gets better i know hes only little but when they start something so young its hard to get out of it when they are older. have you tried to put him into a travel cot and say no (with a little deepness in your voice) cos if you have a soft voice then he might not be taking you seriously enough i know it sounds made to say that but i was always told i was to soft with my kids until i got what people were saying about putting abit of deepness in my voice and it work for me!! as for the travel cot you could use it as a naughty spot and everytime he does it tell him no and put him in there at least if he has a tantrum you know he is safe and cant hurt him self Hope this helps and keep in touch xx
Tracey xx

Thush - posted on 10/03/2010

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He is too young to know why u hit him back. Donot hit him. My son behaved same from very small age. Now he is ten. Hug him hold him in a way he cant hit u and show him love when he is angry. Say baby u dont hit mama. Kiss him. distract him take him out. be very firm when u talk to him. My son will be 10 on the 26th of october. He gave me a very hard time as a baby. But today he is the most lovable kid of all. He is an Angel By all means. Have faith. Do not be harsh on him. He will grow out of it soon enough. Do not hit him. Ignore as much as u can and be firm. do not let him hit u . Make him realize u are his mom and he must never hit.

Shelly - posted on 10/03/2010

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My sons behaviorist would say you should ignore the behavior. Say nothing to him. He keeps doing it because he gets a reaction out of you. Praise him the times when he's not doing it. Ignore the bad behavior, and praise the good. Good luck!!

Dana - posted on 10/03/2010

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Spanking only teach a child to solve problems thru violence and over powering others. Child learn thru negative and positive results. When we hit our children, we set the ground work for our children not coming to us with problems out of fear. What works best is for children to understand the reasons behind rules and to agree with them. An very young child will not understand this concept so by taking away the one thing they cherrish the most, our attention, young children learn to adapt very quickly to choosing the better behaviour. These techniques were not common just a few years back but they work without spanking our children. We learn to parent thru how we were parented. Given that these skills were not common when we were younger, I recommend that first time parents attend a parenting class to learn these new concepts and techniques. Skills to be past down to our children and their children. Spanking is only the lack of these skills and can be avoided. Even the post loving and well adjusted parent can learn from these parenting courses. Attending them does not show you to be a bad parent. Instead it shows dedication, committment and unconditional love of a very good parent. One who cares to be the very best they can be to their children.

Deb - posted on 10/02/2010

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Hi, I didn't read through all these, but I'm wondering if it has anything to do with breastfeeding...expecially those who bite. If the mom wants to discontinue breastfeeding, he or she could rebel. Also, I'd talk with the doctor after you write down what happens, what is happening before it occurs. That may be a way for the doctor to pick up on patterns that he has heard of from other parents experiencing similar situations. Your child's doctor may have some solutions. Also, I'd try not to react, but to walk away and ignore him/her. Kids hate being ignored.

Becky - posted on 10/02/2010

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It is different in all cases. We had the same problem when my grandson was this age. He stopped it really quick and I don't know if it's what we did or one of those phases they go through. We tried slapping his hand also. The thing I think that made him take notice is when he slapped one of us we had a bad reaction to it. For instance; we would take his hand, with a face he knew he better listen up and tell him in a stern but not mean voice that that was not being a good boy and he is a good boy. He was to act like a good boy and not hit. If he hit someone they may hit him harder because it hurts and it was a very awful and ugly thing to do. We do not let hitting happen in this family so understand now!! To leave on a good note we would tell him that a hug was so much better than a hit. we gave him something good to replace the something bad. It worked. It wasn't long before he quit and now he hugs and pats us on the back which is too cute. I just love that boy!!

Vanessa - posted on 10/02/2010

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okay, I agree that we should not do what we are trying to teach our children not to do it... the concept makes sense BUT.... the reality of it all is, timeouts only work for so long. Redirecting MAY help however that is just sweeping the problem under the rug. Your baby is old enough to understand "no, dont and stop".... when my oldest daughter kept biting I would pop her mouth just hard enough for her to know I meant business. When she realized and related her mouth on my hand meant she was going to be the one upset and crying we were better off. Now my youngest son thought he was going to be a big boy and hit me over and over again, I had tried the time outs, sending to the other room, and all that other "good stuff" most of you are talking about. After numerous holes in the walls from him kicking his feet, all it took was one good whooping to let him know who was in charge and to let him know that this behavior was not acceptable. It actually put that fear in him that should he do it again, he was gonna be the one hurting in the long run... NOT ME! lol

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