How did you know you were done?

Michelle - posted on 03/19/2011

I thought I was done after my first 2. My marriage broke down when my 2nd was 13 months and I was happy with my 2 boys. I had always wanted 2.
I met my second husband and eve old him that he wanted any children of his own to find someone else as I was done. That didn't scare him off though. He was also happy with my boys and has always treated them as if they are his own.
Tomorrow we celebrate the first birthday of our baby girl!!!!! I felt that I couldn't deny him having a child of his own and I wouldn't change it for the world. We are definitely done though as he has had a vasectomy now.
Things are forever changing in our lives and I think we have to be open to that change in order to grow within ourselves. What is right for you today may not be right for you in 2,5,10 years from now.

Janine - posted on 03/19/2011

I have had 6... I am done.. I am still young and want some sort of life.... for 13 years tomorrow all I have known is to be a mum with 2 or 3 part time jobs inbetween. I have lost an essence of myself and am not as outgoing as I used to be. You will know within yourself and if you are not willing or ready or whatever the case, never do it to please another as you will end up regretting it if it isnt what you truly want. Fact chick.. heads up x

Jennifer - posted on 03/19/2011

For me, I realized before I ever got prego with my 4th, that I would be ok with getting a tubal. After my 3rd, I wanted a tubal, but had a very bad OBGYN, and really didn't trust him to do it. When my third was almost 2, my husband started with baby fever. He really wanted to have a 4th. I think part of it for him was that my first 2 were from my first marriage, and even though he loves them all very much, and treats them all the same (he adopted the older 2), he said it just felt different being able to be there from day 1. He is an absolutely incredible father! For me, I wasn't so sure at first. I was ok with just having 3, but it didn't take him too long to talk me into it. While I was trying to get prego, my whole attitude about it was completely different. With the first three, I couldn't wait to take the test every month, and if it came back neg, I was incredibly disappointed. With this last one, I was ok with the outcome either way. It only took us 2 months to get prego, but when the first month's test came back neg, I wasn't so disappointed. I was really happy when I did get prego, and she is the most wonderful child. Now, I couldn't imagine life without her. But, I knew I would be ok with being done after her. Thankfully my husband agreed, though I still think he would have wanted more if I would have.

Louise - posted on 03/19/2011

I think you just know when you are done. You suddenly feel that life is complete and there is no need to have more. I had two sons and I never felt that a gap had been filled and although my husband did not want to have any more I did. 15 years later I did not feel like I was done and approached my husband again and he agreed to another child. I did have another baby and now I feel complete whether it was because that child was a girl I do not know. But I know I do not want any more she has filled all the gaps in my life. The family just feels complete.

Medic - posted on 03/18/2011

I had always thought I wanted 3 and my husband agreed, but, after our second we both talked and we both feel complete with our older boy and baby girl. Yes more kids would be fine but I desperately want to get going in my career and help make a life for us and its not conducive to being pregnant. We will see what happens but for now we are done. I am 25 and my husband is 24.

Megan - posted on 03/18/2011

I have 3 children. Two of which were planned and the last came earlier then I'd have liked, lol. After I had my 1st, I could have been done. After now having 3 I don't really think I'm cut out to have this many children even though I love them all to death. I think I'm more a 1 child person, however, the thought of my daughter growing up with no other siblings made me sad. The thought of her having to deal with her parents deaths alone was unbearable, so, we had another one a few years later. After our 2nd daughter, funny enough I didn't have this feeling of being done. I had always wanted a son and maybe that was why. They always say you just know when you're done. I got preggo 6 months after my 2nd was born. I was devastated. We had had a very difficult time with our 2nd and I was in no shape mentally or emotionally to go round 3. However, i know have my son and am beyond thrilled to have him in my life. I can say without a doubt in my mind, I knew the second I had him that I was done. I was on the fence after my 2nd. I never thought I'd want more then 2 at the most bc I came from 3 and hated it. But, like I said, after Emie, I just didn't feel like we were a complete family. Something seemed like it was missing. Well, it was our son Cohen. My happy happy boy. Good luck. There are really no wrong answers I think Julie. Not like you regret having a child. You know? Good luck!