How do I find time to take a shower and get dressed while my 10 month old is always at my feet?

Madelynne - posted on 12/31/2010 ( 109 moms have responded )

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I live with 3 other people but when I ask them to watch her so I can get myself put together I get smug looks. I want to be able to do it all by myself and I'm looking for ways you do it with your child with you all the time. Another problem I am having is that my bedroom is a disaster area. It's small, I have a bed, two dressers, a baby bed and between my stuff and hers I can't seem to keep it clean. So I keep her out of it. If I put her in the bed while I clean it or put away our laundry she cries. Should I let her cry and clean what I have to? I seem to be having a hard enough time cleaning the kitchen and livingroom with her at my feet. The house I am in isn't baby proofed at all. And people seem like they don't want to move stuff out of her way or when I block the walkway with chairs it's like they don't like it. Please HELP!

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Lisa - posted on 12/31/2010

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You do the best you can and tell yourself it's the best you can do. Take her into the bathroom with you. Once my kids were able to sit up on their own, I would put a bucket of bath toys in the shower and let them sit on the floor and play while I showered. Then when I was done, I'd plug the bath and run a little bit of water and let them take a bath while I got dressed and did my hair/make-up. Or even just have some toys in the bathroom she can play with.

As far as babyproofing the house, do what you have to to protect your child. If they don't like the babyproofing, they really need to grow up. If there is a certain area that you are always blocking off, put up a baby gate, it's easier for other people to climb over or open it and get through.

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When J was that age I got up an hour before he usually did. He was pretty predictable if I put him down at the same time, around 9pm just after his last feeding, he would wake for the day around 6:15-6:30 every morning, so I set my alarm for 5am, which gave me 15minutes to shower, dress, fix my hair, and make the bed. Then I had at least 45 minutes to an hour to clean up.
One thing that helps me clean is to spend 15minutes focused in each room (I set a timer), so in your hour, you can do your room, the living room and the kitchen. You can get a lot done in 15 minutes

Do your other house mates help clean the common rooms? Try to get them to take turns, so on the days you don't have to clean up the living room, you can do your laundry and such. And the kitchen is quick if someone cleans it after every meal. Then in the morning, all you really have to do is Windex the surfaces that might get filmy--cabinet doors, tops of appliances, etc--and lysol the knobs.

As for letting her cry, this is what I did w/ my son. Play with her for a few minutes and get her envolved with something fun, then tell her you will be back when the bell rings. Let her hear the bell. Then clean for about 5 minutes, until the timer rings. When the bell rings, let her see you drop what you are doing and come play with her for 5-10 minutes, then tell her you will be back when the bell rings and clean for 5 more minutes. If she cries while you are cleaning, just glance at her and say "I'll play when the bell rings."
After a few tries, she will learn that she will get your undivided attention when the bell rings and will stop competing for it when you are trying to clean. Once she gets it, you can start to extend the cleaning times, but you may want to wait until she is older to go past 10 minutes at a time.

Other than that, nap time is a good time to get stuff done, but I tend to want to relax then, so I do it in the morning, and I stay up about 2 hours after I put him down for the evening. I get ready for the next day (plan my schedule and make any arrangements I need to, any cleaning that cannot wait until tomorrow) then I relax and read or go online for a few minutes before bed :)

Jennifer - posted on 01/02/2011

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I put my baby girl in her high chair, bring her in the bathroom, give her her breakfast and shower while she is eating...

Tiffany - posted on 01/01/2011

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I always have to either shower when she is napping or sleeping, or I play peek a boo with her with the shower curtain open. Do you have a bouncy seat? You could sit her in that in the bathroom while you shower...not sure how old your daughter is, that's what I did when mine was younger. Now, we keep a baby gate up and she plays in the living room while I have the bathroom door open...I call her while I'm showering and she comes running, play peek a boo...just try to keep them involved so you can still keep an eye on them while showering. With laundry, I put my daughter in her crib while I switch it. When I come up I let her play with the basket while I'm folding and then put the clothes in there. I give her a few socks or washcloths to play with, put it over her head playing peek a boo. The more you keep them involved, the better IMO. You're doing the best you can! I don't know what your situation is, but if you're living with 3 other people and they don't feel they can help you out once in awhile, I would look to finding different living arrangements. Maybe sit down and talk to them about helping to baby proof the home. It's nice to want to do it all on your own, but sometimes we all need help. Good luck! ♥

Leesa - posted on 01/12/2011

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Sounds like you may need to move house! Living in cramped clutter will undoubtedly make you unhappy, and your baby will feed off your bad mood, making her harder to handle.
About finding time to shower and clean, I put my boy in his cot/playpen with toys while I shower or I take him in with me and shower him instead of bathing him separately later. Also when I need to clean, I would do the same thing. He cried a bit at first, but that stopped quickly after some perseverance. I found that having him in the same room and talking to him about what I was doing really helped. Hope this helps you!

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Dawn - posted on 01/22/2014

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I made the mistake with taking my baby in the shower with me...I was holding her on my hip,and with us both all wet and soapy n me trying to scrub myself ,she almost slipped completely out of my arms.and then I tried just letting her play on the bathrm floor with toys but she would try and climb in..

Dawn - posted on 01/22/2014

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I put my my 14 mth old in her bouncer selt belted in,in the bathrm while im in the shower.ill put her right in the doorway with the door opened,so I can still keep an eye on her.I leave the door opened so it doesn't get too steamy for the baby...the baby seems to enjoy it.ill play peek·a·boo and sing to her...

Tammy - posted on 01/22/2011

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My best advice is to get your baby on a routine. That way once you have that established you know approximately what time she will be getting up in the morning. Get up 30-45min earlier than her. Get yourself a decent baby monitor to take into the bathroom with you and take a shower and get ready before she wakes up.

Every mother needs time to herself; you just have to create that time.

As far as keeping the room clean. 15min goes a long way. get your daughter interested in something or take her to your room with you and close the door. You can do alot in 15min increments. o this oce or twice a day every day for a week and you will see a huge improvement in the organization of your bedroo.

Brenda - posted on 01/22/2011

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with the shower problem,take her in the bathroom with some toys so she can play on the floor, or put her in the bath with toys so she can play in the water..and you can watch her and she can see you all while you shower..

Gemma - posted on 01/18/2011

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Yep you sound overwhelmed.. I get it I had to live with others when my son was a baby and the truth if ppl you live with do not have kids they cld careless you and your baby are a burden to them.. that simple. but that being said if you can move and I knw this isnt always easy said easy done.
ou havee to make sure to do all things on your own if your a single mom ppl seem like they want to help but they grow tired quickly.. your a mom and its brand new so you have to adjust to having a child up your butt no matter what it is your doing so train yourself in getting use to your baby around you and getting things done it wont be easy maybe harder because you share the place but your gonna end up being a superhero of a mom cause your gonna figure out how to get things done.. might sound funny but thats what needs to be done .
Nobody helped me and i was tired all the time and i cooked clean laundry shower getting dress food shopping all of it with my baby right there...
See what keeps your baby entertained get creative they have pens that are ment for the bath your baby cld color on the walls while you shower it comess right off give her lots of love try not to get frustrated sweetie this is your life forever changed it sounds like you wanna do it right i encourage you to depend on yourself and keep your room clean and clutter free that is yours and especially babys only safe haven make it colorful and fun get rid of as much stuff as you can perhaps get a fouton couch use baskets are plastic drawer storage for clothes and items sell the dressers to replace big items for smaller ones your bedroom has to be in order especially because you share that home..
For cleaning if you can use a highchair let your baby play with pudding make sure you put newspaper or something under the highchair babies love to make messes so learn to clean fast, also play music make distractions these things are just suggestions but try what you can... wishing you and your daughter the best

Kimberlee - posted on 01/17/2011

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I would get organized. Ask a friend to come and help you organize and probably get rid of things or box them up for the future bigger room some day.

As for baths and showers, I would put my girl in her car seat with a bottle and or spinner and play pik-a-boo with her from behind the shower curtain. You can always take you shower when she naps. But most of all, life is much simpler when we pear down to bear essentials and stay organized. We are not overwhelmed easily when we are organized. So, I know a 10 month is exhausting but make it happen. She could get into something that could hurt her. I hope this helps...Mom of four and grandma to three. If I can do it and I am old you can! Go get it done! You have officially been cheered on!!!!

Katie - posted on 01/14/2011

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For one... maybe you should consider moving... you OR YOUR CHILD don't need that kind of "support". and for TWO... get a little baby bouncer that you can buckle your baby into maybe with the vibration option and take her everywhere with you. I used to have to do that with my baby in order to get a shower because her father wouldn't watch her to save his life. I'm sorry if i sound like i'm being rude i'm not i'm just telling you what you need to hear. Talk to her while you do laundry, take her in the shower with you.. lol mine loves to take showers with me. i can't even get a shower anymore without her lol anyways hope it helps good luck sweetheart

Adrienne - posted on 01/13/2011

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When my son was 10 months old I would take a shower when he napped and just put the baby monitor in the bathroom with me. Or Like others have said, put him in the shower with you. My son is 2 and he still loves it. Put him in an exersaucer. While you're cleaning put some fun music on and put him in a baby carrier (we used snugli) or something like that. As for babyproofing, like others have said just do what you need to do for the safety of your family. The others you live with, are they family? Friends? They should understand basic precautions such as a babygate and outlet plugs.

Liz - posted on 01/13/2011

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I too do things when my 12 month old is having a nap. I also bought a 'superyard', plus an extension for it, so that she has a huge playpen that is safe and filled with all of her toys. I know, when she is in that, that she is safe...though of course she can always pull to stand and then fall over, so I can't be TOO far away. Just enough time for me to whizz about cleaning a few things before I check back on her.

Tiffany - posted on 01/13/2011

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If you are trying to get yourself together and she wants to be at your feet try putting her in a toy in the same room that you are in, its sounding like she doesnt want to be away from you. For your bedroom you can get things to store stuff in, if its things you dont need right now or anytime soon you can store it away, her crying wont hurt her at all she will stop over a little time when she sees you are doing something and not giving her what she wants, u just got to make her understand that she cant be at mommys feet all the time or you will never get things done. Cleaning can be very hard sometimes i know i have three little ones and my two youngest ones are not even a year apart, take her in the same room as you in a toy or bouncer or try giving her toys she likes to play with while you are cleaning. For doorways that i dont want my kids going into but dont want to use things to block it so its harder for other people to get threw i use the baby gates that have a door you can open. Motherhood can be very stressfull sometimes but just relax and breath and it will get alot easier, she could also be stressed out from not having her space and feeling like she is trapped and is overwhelmed.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/13/2011

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Do you have something to put her in? like a baby saucer, or exersaucer or bouncer? You could put her in some sorta baby chair while you shower and keep her in the bathroom with you and maybe give her some toys to play with. When you cleaning if you know that she is fed and totally all set, then I think it's ok if she cries a little while you clean. Cleaning is important and it's good for baby too to have a nice clean area to sleep as well as mommy. Maybe when you clean you could put some baby tunes on and make it sort of a game and sing and make funny faces at her trying to distract her from the fact that she is not being held and that this is a fun activity too. I have five kids and each one of them where different. My fourth was a crier and it was heartbreaking I felt like I couldn't do anything b/c i just didn't want her to cry. i know its hard but try not to pay too much attention to those smugs looks you have to do what u need to in order to take of your baby and yourself. i hope this helps-goodluck

Lucille - posted on 01/13/2011

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I had the same problem when I first had my son, trying to do the new balancing act. It's not wrong to let her cry it out sometimes, she'll adjust to her new routine. But the sense your stress, take a deep breath when you start to feel that way to calm yourself and you'll see a change in her as well. It'll take time to adjust to something new. When you need to shower or do something use a pack'n'play. Put some of her favorite toys in with her and turn music on for her. If you can, buy a mirror to put on the wall and move the crib or pack'n'play close enough for her to see herself. Hours of amusement for her. Or you can wait till she's napping to shower or do it at night after she's gone to bed and then just finish in the morning.

You just do the best you can and don't let the stress get to you. She'll feed off of you honestly. The people you live with need to respect you and your child enough to baby proof. Protect her, just because they may not like it 100% it's your home too and you have a right to make it safe for your little girl. Baby gates are a really good solution, you can find them at second hand stores to save a few dollars if you need to. Always flip the lever facing away from where your little girl is. They pick up fast how to work it.

It does not hurt her to cry it out from time to time. Just remember that and that if you need to start a new routine with her it's going to take time for both of you to get use to it. Don't let your feelings over take you. She'll sense it and use it against you. Mine truly enjoys doing that to me still and he's 18 months now. It'll get easier with time and patience and support from people.

Julie - posted on 01/12/2011

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well althought it may seem impossible right now it will get easier to do what must be done with them you just have to time it right. You could feed her play then have some mommy time she might cry at first but if your lucky she might just fall asleep waiting after a bit of cring mine like to cry when they are so tired and two minutes there out. i am a mom of two now and we have a party in the bathroom. when it comes to getting ready for the day it is always a gon show when we have to be somewhere no matter what time of day it is. i give myself an extra hour on to of getting ready because it just takes that long with two.
i pull the bassinet into the bathroom, it is craped but then i can hear my son who is two months old and my 3yr old she brings in some toys and plays or talks to her brother or asks to come in with me. its crazy but a shower can make a break a good day an they make you feel so much better even it is a little crazy at first. good luck and take it one moment at a time.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/12/2011

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i find doing everything when my little girl is sleeping, or napping during the day, or i try to get my little girl to help as she is 17months and is walking everywhere and getting into everything, and if you have to put her into her bed give her some toys to keep her entertained while you are cleaning its does sometimes help

Michelle - posted on 01/12/2011

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I would put my son in his baby swing, in the doorway where I could peek out and see him.

Monique - posted on 01/12/2011

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I put Elmo's world on for my daughter and put her in her playpen.....my showers are super fast showers as to i don't like to leave her alone unsupervised. I keep the bathroom door open so i can peek at her. :D

Leah - posted on 01/12/2011

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I understand how frustrating that can be! I had the same things happen to me when I first had my daughter. My husband, daughter and I had to live in a room while we had to stay with my in-laws. I would ask them to help watch my daughter while I tried to clean and they would do it...but then they would tell EVERYONE that I never took care of my child and that I always had them watch her. Needless to say, I learned to bring my child with me in the bathroom in her baby chair. If I was trying to clean, I would use the baby carrier and carry her while I cleaned. Anywhere I would be, she would be. I would be either trying to find a new place to live(which I did) or babyproof it and do it all yourself. Both options are hard but your peace of mind will far outweigh it. Trust me on this!!

Angie - posted on 01/12/2011

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I use to put my son in his exerciser and put him in the bathroom while I took a shower. He may have cried but I knew he was ok because I could see him. I played peek a boo behind the curtain that usually entertained him enough for me to clean up. Hope this helps :-)

Kylie - posted on 01/12/2011

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I have to girls one five and one 15months. I understand too how hard it is to shower and keep your house clean. im constantly trying to keep it clean and sometimes im so tired and emotional because it does get really hard somedays, im sure all of us have experienced that. I also take my 15 month old in the shower with me. My 5 year old will usually watch tv quite happily. however sometimes all three of us have a quick shower together if we have too. I know pretty hectic haha. But its whatever makes it easier for you that is important. As for housework i would try the suggestions made and stick to the one that suits best. I do everything i can in the morning early. I leave any job that is difficult for when both girls are in bed for eg mopping floors, ironing etc. I also do loads of washing at night and have them ready in the basket, first thing in the morning i hang them out so all the washing is done for the day. be sure to take them out of machine and put them in the basket so they stay fresh. I use the slow cooker as much as i can so put it on in the morning and thats it. Another tip maybe to go through everything you have in every room and throw out anything that you do need or donate to salvos etc to remove clutter. The less you have the less work to keep it tidy. Your housemates seem to be very unhelpful. If your situation allows it make other arrangements, or talk to them. And dont worry too much if you still find it hard to manage. After all of this i still find it hard too. We get so tired running around all the time so its hard to have enough energy. Goodluck and all the best....

Amanda - posted on 01/12/2011

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baby Einstein dvds worked wonders for us, Baby Bach, Baby Beethoven, & Baby Mozart I know are 3 of the best titles. if she could see a TV from her bed, or other safe area that might work best. they are only 30 min each, but its just enough time to get something done.. not all babies like it, so try one at first, and don't give up try it a few times, if u are that desperate 30 min of TV isnt that bad.

Amanda - posted on 01/12/2011

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Well If your not shy, you can shower with her. put toys in the tub or bottom of the shower for her to play with while you shower then you can wash her up too! My son loves showers, and if you have a tub/shower combo, when your done showering, leave a little water in the bath so you can get out and dry off and dress while she plays a little longer, then you can get her all ready. as for cleaning your room, you can get a backpack carrier I have a ergo carrier that was a life saver when my son was little, i dont know how i would have gotton anything done if i couldnt have carried him around on my back. he is now 2 and still wants to be in it. Also get a musical toy she can play with in her bed or on your bed while you sing and dance and talk to her while you clean it will keep her happy and its also a great work out!!! I too am raising my son alone and have found lots of ways to cope!

Catherine - posted on 01/12/2011

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if you have an exersaucer or swing, put your baby in it in the bathroom where se can see you and put some toys and snacks around it to, that will keep her busy while you take a quick shower.

Mae - posted on 01/12/2011

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When my kids were that young I had them sit in their exersaucer while I showered or cleaned something. AT that age they are having a little separation anxiety so it's okay to let her be away from you a little while you clean.

Maleah - posted on 01/12/2011

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Put her in a walker while you clean..
You just need to explain to them that she needs these boundries and if they could please bare with you.. Hopefully that will help!

Liz - posted on 01/12/2011

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I have a set of b/g twins that will be three in June and a son that will be one in July. In terms of taking a shower, I either get up a little earlier ( though I don't prefer that) or take a shower during naps, or at night after the kids are in bed. Maybe give her a little spot in the room with some toys so she can watch you while you clean? I know it's easier said than done lol. At the moment my husband and I live in a two bedroom apartment with our three kids, but we're looking in to a house.

Laura - posted on 01/12/2011

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sevenslings.com Their slings changed my life! I "wear" my 11month old while cleaning and she not only loves it, but usually goes to sleep in it! And she nevvvveerrrrr let's me rock her to sleep! Use code 2010 (not positive its still valid) to get the $44 gift set for $5!!!! hope this helps =)

Lizandra - posted on 01/12/2011

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I think u need to let her cry, thats what i do and eventually my son stops crying cause he knows im either cleaning or showering. he has gotten used to it. I put on the tv and give him a few toys and tell him i wil be right back and I tell him what I am going to do. he whines and complains at first but then he stops. Another thing I do is bring him to the bathroom with me and play with him while im bathing and once in awhile I'll even bathe him with me, kill 2 birds with one stone, y not! lol

Alicia - posted on 01/12/2011

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I have a 10 month old as well. Most days I actually get up early in the morning and get myself ready for the day before she gets up. I do Mary Kay from home so it is nice to have the flexibility!! So when she gets up at 8am I am ready and I don't have to worry about me. That is my time for myself. If you don't take a shower till later in the day, then I wait till she goes down for a nap. When she was a little younger I would put her in the jumper in the bathroom with me so I could take a shower every once in a while. While she is down for a nap is also a good time to do things around the house. I can get a lot down while she is still sleeping in the morning and while she is down for her naps. Another good thing is a baby gate and maybe a jumper. I don't know if she is crawling, walking, etc. My daughter has been walking for a month now so the baby gate is very helpful. But she loved the jumper before...and will now stand and play with it without me putting her in it. As a mom you have to realize that some things are just going to have to be put off till a later time. That has been very hard for me since I like a halfway clean house. Find what your baby likes to do or play with the most and use those things for her while you really want to get things done around the house while she is awake. I hope this helps. You can make it work! You just have to find what works best for you and your baby.

Mandy - posted on 01/12/2011

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I am going to guess that you are a single mom. I raised my first son all by myself (until I met my husband three years ago) and I know how hard it is. Take advantage of your baby taking a nap. I have a 10 month old now and he doesn't like being by himself or being put down either. When I need to shower, I either do that or I shower with the baby or I let him play in his exersaucer. It has toys on it that he can play with. He is mobile now, so I can't just let him play on the bathroom floor any more. We like you do not have much room in our bedroom and it feels like a constant war to keep house. Let the baby cry for a little bit and get done what you need to get done. It will not hurt the baby to learn that you cannot hold her or be with her all of the time. As for the whole blocking off an area, you should definitely invest in a baby gate especially if your roommates don't allow you to baby proof the house. That could be very dangerous to your daughter. If you live in an area where they have income based housing, it might b something that you should look into. I lived in a house just me and my son until I met my husband because the income adjusted even for the temporary time that I was out of work. If you have your own place, then you won't have to worry about roommates and what they like or do not like. You have to do what is best for you and your daughter. Good luck and if you need help looking into housing, let me know. I am pretty good at finding that kind of stuff via the internet.

Rachel - posted on 01/12/2011

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Hi there - it's tough at that age isn't it?! For a while I found I could only shower when my son had his morning nap! If there is enough room in the bathroom could you try putting you daughter in a bouncy chair while you shower? In regards to the cleaning, on days my lo was clingy I used to pop him in the sling and carry him round with me while I cleaned - he loved it and I got to get on with the things that needed doing without feeling stressed and anxious because he was upset. It sounds like it's difficult where you are living, not much understanding for you from your flatmates:( Could you have a heart to heart with them and admit that maybe you do need a little of their help? I think sometimes when we try and "do it all" people get the idea that we don't NEED their help and so don't offer?
x

Stifler's - posted on 01/11/2011

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i have a playpen lol. or i stick him in the high chair with a bowl of custard while i vacuum and use carpet powder and stuff like that i don't want him crawling around in.

Phelicia - posted on 01/11/2011

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i was single when my oldest was little, so I know what you mean. Here are some things I have learned...Wearing a baby is great for chores and cleaning. Slings are aewsome and allow closeness and freedom to do what you need. Shower time is essential. Keep her safe by putting her in a crib with toysor an excersaucer (which can even be in the bathroom with you. A little crying won't kill her and you know she is safe. As for the house, I live in a very small place and it gets messy quick. I have found the best solution is to get rid of anything you don't absolutely need. keep clothes to a minimum and just do laundry more often. That should allow you to get rid of one dresser. You don't need a changing table and can use a mat on the floor or bed. I you co-sleep you don't need a crib, ect.

Suzanne - posted on 01/11/2011

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Sometimes I have the shower before my twins have breakfast in the morning while they are still in bed, however I have them in a seperate room. Might not be that easy if you are sharing one. If you can wake early and have one before the day starts, if not wait till they nap and then have one, if you can get a playpen and put the child in that in the living room with the tv on with a favourite show for the time you are away. Also put some interesting toys in there so that you can run around and do some much needed things. If there is some grissles fine but if the child is really freaking out you might need to just wait till they are asleep. Also maybe get some baby gates instead of furniture blocking the hallways. This way adults can get in and out and little people cannot. This would help if some areas are not baby proofed compared to other areas. Is there anyway that you can move somewhere else, in with family so that you can have more help and assistance. I am not sure this has helped. I sometimes end up havng showers at about 4pm or 5pm, but that is life. If I am going out before I wake the girls I make sure that I have one before I wake them up for the day. Even if they are in their beds for a bit longer.

Laura - posted on 01/11/2011

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When my son was that age he is now almost 2 and a half I would take him in the bathroom in his carseat gave him some toys to play with and played peek a boo. I also have another Idea at walmart they have inflatable baths I would get one of those and he can splash in it while you shower. I only know that they have ducky ones, they are not a huge bath and would be great for him it would keep him entertained, and you could give him a bath after your done so both of you would have a bath, and it woulld keep the safety factor with it because if they are walking and even if you have the slip mat in the shower they still can fall, my sone had tubes so I had to be very careful of the water in his ears. It was a life saver. Hope this helps.

Tiffany - posted on 01/11/2011

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Put the baby in the shower with you and a couple of toys...while you get ready a swing..johny jumper ...or an excersauser by you...I got three you just have to find ways its now gonna be the same as when you didn't have any..your gonna do everything differently..

Kimberly - posted on 01/11/2011

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Get things done during nap time OR invest in an Exercauser or Bouncer and toys that you can bring into the bathroom and place her in while you scrub your butt. You can wear her in carrier while cleaning. Work smarter not harder! Best of luck!

T - posted on 01/11/2011

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U need to get a pack and play and put it in the bathroom with toys inside while u take a shower..check out second hand stores...also baby gates in the house instead of chairs..youtbsby is most import do what u need to.

Crystal - posted on 01/11/2011

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i think you need to rethink your living situation. most young people don't take too kindly with living with a baby, and couldn't care less about it. they have housing assistance, childcare assistance, anything to help out young struggling parents, take advantage of it. but, for your initial situation, my advice is what i do/did: either wait for them to take a nap, or put them in a high chair, strapped in, with some light snacks, like puffs. and if they whine, turn on the tv or a movie. it sounds horrible seeing as i don't let my kid watch tv much, but for 20 minutes a day, it's really not that bad, and it gives you a little time to yourself to not have to worry what they're getting into. and it sounds like she's super spoiled, (not always your fault), and she just can't stand being more than a foot away from you. i was a nanny for a 1yo like that, and it was awful, i couldn't do anything. if you want her to stop being at your feet 24/7, you have to try to get her to play by herself sometimes. it helps develop their brain and gain independence-which will be so helpful when she gets a little older. sorry this was so long, i just know your situation! :)

Stephanie - posted on 01/11/2011

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Don't know if someone else suggested it, but "crib time" is a life-saver. Its okay, and possibly beneficial, for baby to learn to entertain herself for a few minutes increasing up to 30 min while you do things you have to do.

As for saying no all the time, realize you don't have to say the word to get the point across. Squeeze her hand and redirect her to something safe and fun.. Say "not for baby"...
And yes its okay for baby to cry sometimes. We know that we aren't happy ALL the time, neither are any other age of person. The goal off parenting cannot be to keep your child happy 100% of the time... but to love, play, guide, teach, discipline.

And there is NO perfect parent so don't beat yourself up!

Donna - posted on 01/11/2011

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hi there you need to let baby and your house mate know your in charge, make cleaning a habit and yes cry wont harm your while your busy you just need to get her something to occupy her why your busy for me the fisher-price jumperoo was a life saver its very safe and and really keeps there attention its a bit like a baby walker buy stay stationary so they cant go anywhere you can pick these up or something similar from second hand shops or ebay quite cheaply, you need to set baby up first wherever you are gonna be make sure there happy and then get organised and set yourself time to do your job, the jumperroo gave me time to have shower and house work i would pull it to what ever room i was gonna be in and my son loved it it also teaches them to be independent and to learn to entertain herself witch is a great asset don't put to much pressure on yourself though hun its hard to be a mum and clean cook etc and over time you'll find what works for you and before you know it you'll be i a routine my little boys 3 now and because i started early and he got used to mummy needs some time to herself they soon learn and the tears don't last long its essential you get that time to have a shower my mum always says a happy my makes happy baby good luck hope that helps take care Donna

Danielle - posted on 01/11/2011

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Is the people you live with your friends or just people you share a house with? sounds to me like you need to find a new place to live, maybe with some other single mum's that understand what you going through because if there not prepared for you baby proof house it could be danager for your child as gets bigger and is walking round, i've got a 21 month old boy i think i've baby proofed the my house but he's managers to fine something to touch that he shouldn't be, i just put things away so he can't reach them you can't keep telling no they don't understand. hope you can sort something out. Danielle

Juleen - posted on 01/11/2011

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i bought a chair for my daughter its like a normal small chair but it has straps that you can put her into when you need to do something & it's quite light so u can carry it around if you got one like it you could strap her in it while you take a shower & she could even be in the bathroom with you

Angel - posted on 01/11/2011

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I used to take my daughter in with me, if my husband was home, I would wash her and then hand her off and finish my shower.
Then when she was a little older and could sit in the shower I would have her in there with me and she would sit and I would wash her after me.
When she could stand up she would sand in there with me and we would play and talk and i would wash her after (or before if my husband was home to take her).
But before she could really sit and be ok int here with me and when my husband wasn't home I would take her stroller into the bathroom and put her in it with some toys and just talk to her and poke my head out and say hi every couple of minutes.
The stroller thing was a lifesaver, it was inthat age where she could sit, but only with a pillow and she was too squirmy for me to hold.

Sarah - posted on 01/10/2011

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Okay I can relate to you A LOT! I live with my son and husband in my husband's friend's house with 4 other people. I am the only one with a family and almost the oldest in the house. Everyone but me has a very party lifestyle while my family does not. I have people partying all hours of the night, no baby proofing either, and i have been told it can not look like a child lives here so not to ruin the owner's chances with women. It is not an easy house hold to live in so i know how you feel. I do all the baby care myself for the most part. My husband will help some if i complain enough but mostly i do it all. So my son is quite attached to me. I depending on the cry and situation will usually let him cry if it's just him not working with me. In the shower an easy thing to do is put the child in the crib (where they are safe) with some toys or books whatever they like best with a movie on. My son loves looney tunes cartoons so i put on a dvd and he will sit and watch that in his crib and play with toys or read books quite happily. I take the monitor with me and grab a shower and get ready. This also works well if you need to clean or do laundry. Another fun thing to do is let your child help you. You can teach new skills while getting done what you need to do. My son will sit in the laundry basket and hand me clothes to fold so i can get things done and watch him. If i clean i let him help by picking things up for me or give him a clean rag and let him "dust or wipe" the floor or anything he wants. If cooking i give him a few pans and let him bang them same with dishes and most kitchen work. If pots don't work bring toys with you. As for child proofing I have gotten to the point of buying it and installing it all myself. There is no other option. You pay to live there and your child's safety is more important than anything. You have the RIGHT to make sure your child is safe. If they don't like it oh well let them try to prevent you. There is probably some where or something you could report it to. That your "landlord" is not allowing you to child proof where you live and pay to live and is risking the safety of your child. when you need help you get it demand it and there is a lot of places in every city that can and will help you. you are an even better mother for doing everything you can for your child and sometimes you need help. Not everyone is super mom. Some days i am and some days i just can't do it. do what you can and know that you are doing what is right for your daughter that is all that matters.

Ginger - posted on 01/10/2011

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Single motherhood is hard just remember this when all the fun big memorries come into play. Remember when we had to live with those 3 people? I really does get easier when the get to school.I have a 3yr old who wont even let me go in the other room without a scream and tears.Everyone would pass her right back to me when she was a baby . she on me like glue. Some days it is iritating and then again soo friggin cute that someone thinks im that cool to want to hang on everything I say and do. so when I get the brush off from the 14yr old I just smile and remember when it was just him and I before the new husband and new sisters that he is 9 and 10 yrs older than. wow we have some awesome times of storybooks camping,swimming in the river going to the lake and washing the car in the rain.so keep asking and just know those smug looks dont mean a thing in the big pic and we all need help. look into some respite care or family suport centers good luck

Kimberley - posted on 01/10/2011

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re: shower -take her with you. Many kids love showers. It's hygene time and bonding time all in one.

re: room. Yes, let here holler she'll figure it out that you aren't going anywhere and quit eventually. Plus the racket might motivate your roomies to help out.

re: roommate situation - time to move on. Doesn't sound like a very supportive situation. Kids are the number one priority. I'm sure with a little time and effort there is somewhere else you can stay for the same amount or less money - and if it's your lease? Kick them to the curb. Mom's need support in this day and age not more obstacle.

Good luck and God Bless.

Emily - posted on 01/10/2011

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I have twins who are now three years old. When they were ten months old I would bring them into the bathroom with me and sit them on the floor with some toys. As long as they could see me they were fine. I also got into the habit of showering the night before after the girls went to bed. This also saved me time in the morning, because as you know, once they're up... you are on. As for cleaning, do what you can when you can. I would clean while they napped or I would clean around them while they played. If you have a crib, put them in a crib and let them play (or cry) while you do what you have to do. As long as they are safe they will be fine. Good luck!

Julie-Anne - posted on 01/10/2011

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Any mum will tell you it's hard work to be a mum but being surrounded by people that won't support you makes it that much harder. If you can I would suggest sharing a flat with another mum and child so that you could support each other, give each other a helping hand, share resources and some time out when you need it.
If that's not on the cards you can only do your best. I usually waited for nap time for my shower but on some days I took a shower after they went to bed and then did my hair and face in the mornings while the littles were playing and I could keep an eye on them.
You have to baby proof and gates are a great way to keep the baby in one area, but really anyone you live with will just have to understand that baby proofing is not negotiable.

[deleted account]

My trick for cleaning a kitchen with a little one,
High chair and animal crackers or cereal or fruit and a drink.
shower,
shower with child or bring secure chair in bathroom + bottle
cleaning,
small area, try basket for those items that get thrown on the floor. When you have time sort them.

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