How do I keep things clean?

Miranda - posted on 04/09/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I try my hardest to keep my house clean. It seems like it will only stay clean for a couple of hours. I will spend hours cleaning. I have a 22 month old and he isnt as messy and my husband is. I try to get my son invloved in cleaning. He loves to help but it just doesnt stay clean. I get it all finished and it feels great and the next day I just want to scream. I dont feel like doing hard core cleaning every day. I understand straighting up the house in the evenings. If I say something to my husband he gets mad and says I work all day its your job to clean. What can I do to help my house stay clean?

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Sal - posted on 04/10/2011

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how do i keep my house clean? simple answer is i don;t i try but reality i want my kids to live at home not tip toe around a show home, and being an at home mum is as much about spending time teaching and playing with the kids and if the house slips some days so be it, and making people help you is important, clothes in the basket, cups plates in the sink, toys in the toy box, takes 2 seconds for someone to do for themself, adds hours onto your day if you have to run around collecting the washing up before you do it, have to hunt down the clothes from all rooms of the house before you put on the washing or pick up the toys before you vaccum...

Miranda - posted on 04/21/2011

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thanks everyone. Im willing to do anything at this time.I hate having a messy house all the time

Adrienne - posted on 04/12/2011

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My husband and I have recently had this conversation, he works nights and sleeps during the day so it is harder for him to help clean during the day. But we've compromised, on weekends he helps me with a big project (cleaning out the garage, landscaping etc) for a few hours, he cleans up after the dogs 1x a week, and does the trash. He also does the dishes at least 2x a week.
I take about an hour in the morning to do big stuff (cleaning a bathroom, windows, vacuum/mop/steam clean etc) and about 20 minutes at night to put toys away and do a quick clean up before bed. The only thing that I allow to take a full day once a week is laundry. Once a month I do heavy duty, gloves on cleaning (deep scrubbing the bathrooms(more than just the toilet bowl and wiping everything down with a clorox wipe!), disinfecting doors, lightswitches, scrubbing the fridge out, the oven (if it needs it) and stuff like that) Then my 2 1/2 yr old gets a daddy date and they go do something fun all morning.
I just kept telling my husband that while yes, the home is my primary job, like him going to work is his, but every once and a while I do need help. I also let him choose "dishes, or bathtime" "dog poo or raking leaves", so he feels he has a say in the help. Talk to him when he's rested and not right after work. Do a date night and tell him how you feel while the both of you are relaxed and not stressed, it'll also help that you're not at home and it can't get into a yelling match.

Bonnie - posted on 04/10/2011

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Honestly, it is almost impossible to keep a house clean when you have any amount of kids running around. You just do what you can. Don't kill yourself over it. I know sometimes it is tough to let it go especially when you are home and you see what your home is like.

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Brianna - posted on 04/12/2011

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i have the same problem.. check out the website flylady.net it has lots of little tips that i found to be very helpful

Miranda - posted on 04/12/2011

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@ Adrienne. Thanks. Ill try to talk to him about it this weekend. Ive talked to him about it before but nothing happend. Something has to give though. I cant do it all by myself all the time. I guess im lucky since he does actually pay attention to our son and keeps him wihle I go to the store. I cant cmplaine about that part of it.

Jane - posted on 04/11/2011

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The folks I know who have a clean house plus kids are folks who somehow have managed to get rid of all the extra stuff that tends to build up in houses. They have no little decorative things, no stacks of magazines, and lots of empty surfaces. They also seem to limit the number of toys, either by regular donation or yard sales, or by rotating them. Of course, you should know that I do NOT follow this model. My house is an absolute madhouse. When my husband was alive he didn't clean up after himself either, but at least he did much of the cooking.

Miranda - posted on 04/11/2011

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I went out of town one day and left them here all day. I was gone for about 11 hours. They did ok but little man slept all day pretty much. He didnt do any cleaning. I dont think he did much of anything. He had it pretty easy. I dont think I have ever had it that easy. He will come home from work and put him to sleep at 6 and gripe at me for waking him up after 45 min. If I let him sleep he gripes because he is up all night. There are going to be times this summer Im going to have some mommy time and he is going to have to be here with him all day. I dont take the little one very many places untill spring. I will leave him at the house to go to the store. I dont want him to get sick so I do everything I can to prevent it.

Stephanie - posted on 04/11/2011

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I agree with Crystal... I think you need a day out and he NEEDS a day in... make sure his Mom or other lifelines/rescue parties are in on it so they won't help him and leave him to watch your child... remind him there's nothing to it since he thinks your days are so easy and make sure you stay gone at least 10 hrs otherwise he may be able to handle it, after all little one will be more engaged since he doesn't see Daddy as much as he sees you... let him go through the whole sleepy and hungry part of the day with him. He may treat you much better after he finds out it isn't all playing on the floor and walks with the stroller. Good luck some men's skulls are thicker than others!

Miranda - posted on 04/10/2011

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Thanks for the advise from everyone. My husband is set in his ways. I have went out of town for a few days with the liitle one and came back and the house was spotless. He is home every weekend. It drives me crazy that he doesnt pick up after himself. I would love for my house to stay clean, but as you all said if it was I wouldnt be spending as much time as I needed with my son. I understand that I cant keep it clean and that doesnt bother me as much as my husband not picking up after him self.

Elfrieda - posted on 04/10/2011

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There's a website that helps me, when I follow it! :) www.flylady.net
It's totally over the top and a tiny bit lame, but it helps me keep on top of the housework, which I hate doing, so I'm a believer!
I couldn't tell from your post whether you're good at keeping house, or if you hate all aspects of it, like me. The website does its best to make housekeeping fun, and that helps me a lot.
Also, like the others said, you've got to decide what your main job is: parenting or keeping house. Then you do what you can during the day and your husband can help out when he gets home. You've just got to explain priorities to him.

Krystyna - posted on 04/10/2011

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I used to keep the house immaculate BEFORE having children. We have 7 yr old twins and a 5 yr old. I have found that I do a general cleaning every day (vacum the kitchen and family room where they play every day) and dishes. Laundry is every 2-3 days. I bought those disinfecting wipes and use those for quick cleanups around the kitchen countertops & bathrooms. Thorough cleaning of bathrooms maybe once a week, dusting....whenever I get to it. I bought a Swiffer for the floors for quick clean ups of spills (and there are lots!)

There is too much going on and not enough hours in the day. I agree...we are not machines. I used to stress about it, but found its not worth it. Whatever gets done, gets done. You can't make yourself crazy because your child will not remember that they grew up in a clean home. What they will remember most is the time you spent with them. That, is the most important thing.

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Your house won't just stay clean, you have to clean it every day. You may not need to do the heavy duty cleaning every day, but 2-3 hours in the morning of cleaning shouldn't be more than enough time to keep things manageable.

I know there are days when you wake up and you just don't want to do anything but play with your son, we all do. Your husband probably has a lot of those days too, but he gets himself up and he goes off to work. At least you get to watch your son play while you work, that's more than he gets.

I set a timer for 15 minutes in each room and I speed clean it. I can make my bed, pick up shoes and laundry, wash my windows, vacuum, and dust or organize our dressers and night tables in under 15 minutes. So 15 minutes in each room and I'm done for the day until hubby comes home. If it gets messed up after I clean it, I don't care, I don't redo it because I know I'll be cleaning it tomorrow anyway.

I also leave a big basket in our living room for toys. It is much faster to toss the toys in the basket than keep running them back to J's room all day, so I fill the basket, then put them all back at one time at the end of the day.

Jenni - posted on 04/10/2011

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My hubby works 12 hour shifts but one week he works 48 hours and the next he works 36 hours. So he has plenty of days off. I expect to do 100% of the housework and child care on the days he works. But on the days he has off we probably divide up the work 60/40.



He does the dinners, our laundry and I fold and put away, the garbage, the yard and helps change the odd diaper or gets the kids dressed. I don't expect him to clean up after himself on the days he works but I do on the days he's at home. We both seem happy with this arrangement and I think we both feel it's fair. When I return to work in the fall everything will be worked out 60/40 at home (considering I wont work as many hours as him).



I think on his days off we should both be busy for the most part but I don't mind if he takes a little more down time compared to me because he does work really hard.



We have it arranged that he does the jobs he enjoys like the yard, laundry and dinner. Yes, he enjoys those things and feels it's a fair trade off for me doing the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher and he hates doing the dishes). Anyways, it's taken time for us to work these things out and a few talks and a few arguments in order to find a common ground.



Originally, he was under the impression that because he worked I should take care of 95% of the housework/child rearing because that's how his family did it. I had to remind him that his dad also worked 70-80 hour weeks so that made sense. Our situation wasn't the same, especially since I'm a back and forth working mom.



So it's all about talking to him, really. Talking without nagging. Getting him to empathise. And also lowering your standard a wee bit. ;) You're a mom now and the house isn't always going to be in the same pristine shape as a childless couple. :) I dedicate 2 hours a day (not always consecutively) to cleaning. If I don't get everything done in those 2 hours it gets put on the back burner. Spending time with your kids is more important imo.

Stifler's - posted on 04/10/2011

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I refuse to clean up after my husband lol is he doesn't clean up after himself his belt stays on the floor, socks stay in his work boots, lunch box stays in his work bag. Doesn't phase me, I'm not a houseslave! Don't think because you stay home your house has to be perfect. Crystal is right you stay home to raise your child, playing and reading and going to playgroup is more important than cleaning.

Crystal - posted on 04/09/2011

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It is very hard to keep a house clean with a little one running around. I would say keep the way you're doing it, a few rooms each day, and then maybe on Saturdays get your hubby to pitch in and do one "big" cleaning so you can spend the rest of the weekend with your family. :) Seems to work for us. As far as your hubby saying it's your job is ridiculous. It's his house too. he should not be exempt from ALL the housecleaning. He has "co-workers" and so should you -- HIM. :) You're not only a SAHM to keep the house, but to spend time and raise your child, which requires you to actually spend time with your child, not just keeping the house spotless. Maybe your hubby needs a "reality check" and you need to leave him with your son for a whole day... "challenge him" and see how much he can get done, while spending QUALITY time with your child. :) Best of luck. You're not alone.

Miranda - posted on 04/09/2011

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Ive tryed the thing where I dont clean up after him for a week. It didnt seem to bother him much. He just griped about it. He says that my job is easy and he is the one that has to get up and go to work every day. It really aggervates me too. Some times I dont feel like doing anything. I would just like to get everything done as fast as I can so I can spend time with my son. One day i will clean the living room and the kitchen. The next day I do the bedrooms. If I space it out it doesnt seem to be as much. Lately I can do that and When I get up its horrible and worse than it was before I cleaned it.

Jennifer - posted on 04/09/2011

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Your best bet is to get your husband to start carrying his own weight around the house. I will confess that messes left by my husband really get under my skin. I am not his mother, or maid and expect any adult to clean up after themselves.
As far as practical how-to tips, try simplifying things. For example, I have a small basket in the linen closet to put clean face clothes in instead of folding them.
If you want to make the point to your husband about how much work he creates for you, you could try cleaning up everything except his messes for a while. Maybe he will get the point (or maybe not).

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