how do you cope with being sick when you have kids to look after????
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i am grateful for a wonderful support system, but this past winter all 3 of my kids and i all got bronchitis at the same time. we were all miserable and my kids wanted me to hold them all the time- which was weird because they are 14, 12 and 10. we all spent a lot of time watching movies together on my big bed, all snuggled under the covers. when they were younger and i got sick, i just had to learn to ask for help from friends and family. my husband passed 6 years ago, and i learned very quickly that there is no shame in asking for help, and usually other moms understand and have no problem working in things like picking up milk for you at the store. i also do what i can to take naps when they take naps, and i am a stickler for a strict bedtime. i guess a lot of it would have to do with the ages of your kids, too. like i said, i've been doing this alone for a long time, so if you need any other ideas, feel free to ask!
Patricia - posted on 12/27/2012
For me it used to be that I just had to suck it up. I had zero family around and my Husband traveled and only came home 1 day of the week if I was lucky. Now he is closer to home and can often take off work, but not always. If I am super sick he will take off and watch our Daughter. Luckily she is at the age where she can pretty well take care of herself which is great, but I still feel guilty. I just make myself get up and do it.
Julie - posted on 03/29/2011
I just suck it up. I'm a breastfeeding mom who nurses on demand and only from the breast- and I co-sleep. Even when recovering from a c-section with my last little one (she was breech and her legs were tangled in her cord), I had almost no down time. I came home and took care of my newborn, my 23 month-old, and my 6 year old with almost no help. My husband really never has the luxury of taking time off and my family lives over an hour away. I have always viewed motherhood as a 24/7/365 commitment- no sick days. :-)
Candy - posted on 03/29/2011
I think God gives us moms some kind of powers. You just do. I had galebalder problems and was in SO much pain but some how I didnt feel it until they were asleep and I could cry it out. It is one of those Mommy Powers we all got the day our little ones were born.
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I pretty much sit on the couch and watch tv with them. I have 6 kids, and when I am sick they are either really awesome helpers, or tear the house up! My husband straightens them out if they are in the mood to be destructive and they have to clean the entire house those days!
Drink Emergen-C! I do every day! I really haven't been sick all winter long! We had a really bad case of stomach virus first of December (all I felt was fatigue one day), and recently, gastroenteritis - nothing then...
Now it is allergy season, and I feel bogged down today. I am doubling up on Emergen-C and FUSE. Both help with energy too!
Tinker1987 - posted on 03/29/2011
You just push through it. when i had my son 4 months ago i had 4th degree tares from delivering natural and i was very much in pain and had Minimual help so i had to look after him and get things done anyway,and me and my baby were just sick this past week when he was content i just laid on the couch ,we snuck in naps together,and haveing a nice hot shower helped. and just keep telling yourself it wont last forever! useally cold symptoms bugger off around 5-7 days
Laura - posted on 03/29/2011
I agree with Candy! I swear, I have been the healthiest I've ever been in my life now that I have kids. I think I just won't let myself get sick...there's no time!
I also had my gallbladder taken out right after bringing home my first baby. I remember being in severe pain, and I still just sucked it up and I nursed my 2 week old baby during one of my gallbladder attacks in the emergency room! I swear being a mom makes us superwomen!!
Maggie - posted on 03/29/2011
You just do. When I was sick I just gave the boys (2 and 4) toys that I knew they could play with by themselves, turned on the TV more than I usually do (almost never!) and gave them processed food (I keep a few frozen pizzas and boxes of mac and cheese on hand for emergencies). They did fine and were really helpful when it came to bringing me glasses of water or crackers or tissues or whatever I needed. Unfortunately it's one of those things that you just have to get through as best you can.
Dionne - posted on 03/28/2011
I usually have over the counter medicine I use to assist with symptoms. Then I find simple foods to make for the kids and turn on the tv so I can nap as they watch the tv. I have found that when I am sick my kids actually take care of me. Granted it depends on the age as to what they do to take care of me but sometimes when you doze off all it takes is a blanket being put on you by your youngest child to know they care about you and are capable of helping you out. As far as spouse goes he can fend for himself when he gets home and if the kids are lucky they will be included in the spouses fending for self. If not they get simple food and drink until I feel better. This is if I am really sick. When I only have sore throat and sinus infection I do take morning naps to try getting a little extra rest and I increase my clear liquids and tough out the side effects of the over counter meds or pain that comes with sore throat and congestion. I do what I can as I feel good enough to do it. Sometimes shortcuts are taken when I don't feel good.
I do not have anyone except myself and maybe one of my older kids to help out with the younger kids but mostly it is me, myself and I. No friends or family, spouse has seen to that.
Jane - posted on 03/28/2011
When my husband was healthy and my kids were small, when I got sick he would take over. However, there was a period of 12 weeks when he was in hospital and the kids were ages 2 1/2 years and 6 months.
I had very little choice when I got sick during that time period. There was no one to care for the kids except me as I had no family in town and most of my friends were employed full-time.
To keep the kids busy, I read books to them, played DVDs for them, or lay on the daybed I kept in their room for times when I had to be close to a child at night - my daughter had a lot of health issues when she was little - as the kids played with toys on the floor. I also sat on the patio and watched my daughter play outside with my son in a playpen next to me. Whenever they slept I did, too, and I didn't worry about laundry or household chores.
Food was simple - mostly microwaved chicken nuggets and frozen peas, packets of apple sauce, and baby carrots with ranch dressing for me and my 2 yo, and jarred baby food for my son. We used paper plates and cups so I didn't have to do dishes.
You just cope because you have to.
Ambyr - posted on 03/28/2011
My kids are 1 and 2 so I don't have a choice but to get up and go. I just got over a chest cold ( I have asthma that wasnt controlled for a long time and I am just starting to get it on track now so when I get a chest cold its hard on me) anyway and I find with kids it goes away quicker because I don't have the time to dwell on it. I am not saying that its the right thing to do or that it works for everyone but .... I think its just something we have to all deal with having kids.
Heather - posted on 03/28/2011
We have a movie day...the kids get 2 pick out a few movies and then we all lay down and watch them...then 4 dinner i make them something easy like hot dogs and apples...that way i can lay down and they are not going crazy on me
Brandis - posted on 03/28/2011
i just gotta deal with it...my hubby never takes off work to help when im sick, he only takes off if he's sick and usually when he's sick our son is sick and i take care of them til their better then i get sick and still take care of them with no help..part of being a mom
Katie - posted on 03/28/2011
Hopefully if you're really sick, you have some family or friend support that might be able to help out. there have only been a few times I've been realy sick and my hubby stayed home to help with our son. But I am pregnant with #2 now and being sick and taking care of him was really hard. I just had to do it each day, and cope with it ....just until I could lay down for nap time to get a rest..it was hard....I hope you feel better soon.
Bonnie - posted on 03/28/2011
I just try to take it easy as much as possible. When it comes to housework, I just do the things that don't take a lot of energy. I still tend to the kids though. I have family that can help, but usually don't want to when there is sickness in this house. Oh well. You do what you can when you can and that is all you can do.
Amanda - posted on 03/27/2011
Thanks ladies, I was just interested to see what others did coz we've just spent the whole weekend colouring and watching dvds. I don't feel as guilty with sticking them in front of the telly with me.
Unfortunately my husband is a shift worker so he spends alot of time at work and work has clamped down on the time off people are taking so if he doesn't have a doctors certificate for himself he doesn't get paid.
Katherine apart from hubby (when he's not working) I really have no-one close by that are willing or able to help me out at the drop of a hat so I normally have to suck it up and deal with it on my own no matter how sick I get - fortunately its not that often but when I get sick I'm pretty bad.
At the beginning of the year I had a really bad case of tonsilitis and couldn't speak or drag myself out of bed, hubby refused to stay home and help me out and my in laws said they would only help me out for a few hours if I went to doctors before they got to my house - it was 7.30 on a sunday morning and my kids were 1 and 2.
Charlotte - posted on 03/27/2011
Unfortunately you just have to get on with it! Unless you're lucky enough to have friends and family who can help you out. I don't have that option unfortunately. But I believe that the dad should do as much as poss to help out and even take time off work if you're really sick. I remember having a big row with my man when I was really sick and he still went to his kung fu lesson and left me to bath, feed and put to bed our 3 kids!
Katherine - posted on 03/27/2011
Well, I have a lot of help, do you have family nearby that can help you? I'm really sick right now and I can barely move. I guess if I had to I would have to cope, but it would be REALLY hard.
Are you single? Can't your SO help out? I mean for God's sake there has to be someone who can help you.
I see in your picture you have someone (now that I looked) can't he help?????
Nikki - posted on 03/27/2011
I have only been really sick once since I had my daughter and it was really bad timing because my hubby was so busy he couldn't take time off.
Like Laura said, you don't really have a choice, you just have to find ways to make life easier, my tips, movies, leave the housework, take away for dinner, if your kids still sleep then sleep when they do. After just having a few bad sick days I went out and bought some craft items and a few little toys, so next time my daughter has something new to keep her busy and I can just lay on the couch and observe!
Louise - posted on 03/27/2011
You just have to manage and hope that you get better quick. If I have a cold I will take medicine to get me through the day until my husband comes home at 6.30pm and then I will just go to bed. If I am really sick then my husband has no choice but to take the day off and look after the kids. This has only happend once in 20 years of child rearing! Mums have not got time to be sick!
If I am very sick, my husband takes time off of work to watch our son while I rest and recover. If he is unavailable, I usually bring in a mother's helper or baby-sitter to watch him while I rest.
If I'm not that sick, I just deal with it and plan for a lazy day. We rarely watch TV, so I don't feel bad if I plop him in front of it for a few hours on days I don't feel well. If we watched it everyday, I would feel differently, but we don't, so it's kind of a special treat to cuddle on the sofa and watch movies all day. We also play a lot of simple board games so I don't have to move around too much.
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