How do you feel about parents taking baths or showers with their children?
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Jackie - posted on 09/05/2014
When I first brought my infant daughter into the shower it was out of desperation: MOMMY NEEDED A SHOWER! She loved it. When she was about three she started asking for me to have a bath with her. I really debated it. She wanted the together time but my worries were about her asking questions she "shouldn't" ask. I realized that I didn't want my daughter to be raised the way I was: taught that her body was to be hidden away and never talked about. So I started having baths with her occasionally as a play time kind of thing. She is now 8 and still asks for baths together as often as she can. I'll admit it isn't often, but thats mostly because Mommy can only play the roll of Ursula from the little mermaid so many times before going crazy. She has asked me why her body doesn't look like mine. I simply explain that she will look this way when she's a grown up. That has been all the explanation she has ever wanted. I also don't use pet names for things. She doesn't have a pee-pee, girl part, or "back bum". She has a vagina. I have however taught her that while her body is an amazing thing she should be proud of, social norms say she shouldn't talk about the parts under her clothes with anyone but Mommy and Daddy.
thats my two cents...
SamanthaJ - posted on 09/16/2014
I don't think it's good to shower with your children period. It personally messed me up. There was no touching, but I showered with my dad until I was 3 years old and I still remember what he looks like... and that has TOTALLY disturbed me. I think I accidentally witnessed them having sex, but I can't be sure because it was almost pitch black in their room and my mom was sitting in his lap while facing him with her legs around his back (couldn't tell if they were naked or not but I think my brain registered what they were doing and I was only between 1 and 2 years old). I also took showers with my mom and/or sister off and on until middle school (because of camping and convenience). I remember being curious about what they looked like and staring at their private areas (my sister would do the same). Me and my sister would compare breast sizes, etc. My mom and dad would help give me a bath (them on the outside of the tub and me on the inside) until I was 6 or 7, it involved a quick rub down with a washcloth and soap in the hair with their hands and they'd allow us to stay and play in the bath for as long as we wanted before we asked to come out. This, the friction of the washcloth and seeing my parents and sister naked in the shower, caused me to enjoy seeing others naked and wanting to touch them, also causing me to have too much curiosity with seeing my friends naked and playing "doctor" with them as a child (which would involve looking and touching each others private areas while having our hearts race at the thought of being caught) at 6 or 7 years old (not normal child behavior - curiosity yes, but touching no), etc. It's just plain not healthy. Anywhere above 1 or 2 years of age is inappropriate, or whenever it kicks in for the child to get curious/stare/ask questions is the time to stop and have THEM do it themselves (not the parent unless they physically can't do it themselves). This is so that they don't form psychological problems later and have them become sexually aroused too young, masturbate too young, and/or become hypersexual (all of these personally applied to me because of these situations).
Dayna - posted on 04/15/2010
Oh wow!! Some of you stop early!! Can i ask why? Is it your uncomfortableness or your child's? I still have the occasional shower with my 7yr old daughter, particularily if we are in a rush and she needs to shampoo or whatever LOL My 5yr old son however told me last year that he wants to shower alone, that's cool, his choice. We have no issue with nudity/privacy issues, when the child asks, the child gets IYKWIM
Elskidor - posted on 04/25/2014
Neither my spouse nor myself has ever even thought about showering or bathing with our child. She is five now, and I'm actually confused why anyone would ever do this at any age. I find it disturbing that it is done all, but far beyond disturbing that people do this after the age of three or four.
I think it's up to each family to decide. They're different circumstances for each household. I am breast-feeding my som at 8 years old and just now about to wean. You do what's right for your child. My son is very angry about weaning but I know it is the right time.
Joanne - posted on 03/21/2015
In my opinion, you have done your son a disservice. If any of his friends learn that he is nursing at the age of 8 he will be on the receiving end of merciless taunting which can have the effect of his feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Something like this would be quite a subject as it is passed along from child to child. It might also trigger a child welfare investigation as teachers or the school counselor hear about it, doing further damage to your son's psyche, and who knows what the conclusion of such an investigation would be? Extended breast feeding is considered "...until a child is 3 or 4." Beyond that seems creepy to me. But again, that's just my take on it.
Samantha - posted on 02/13/2014
I actually think you don't have to put an age of this, it should be up to the child. Ive always been open, breastfed my daughter till 8months and never felt the need to cover up in our house. My daughter is 6 years old and we will happily walk around naked in our house and still share a bath together sometimes. I have nothing to hide. I understand people will see this as different but we all open in our house and if she needed to ask about anything she would.
Stifler's - posted on 08/19/2010
I do it all the time. I put him in the shower with his dad too when I can't be bothered to run him a bath. He is 6 months old though. I'm his mother so I don't really care until he's old enough for it to be inappropriate.
Outi - posted on 04/23/2010
I took showers with my kids until they were about 18 mos ( boys and a girl ) . ot all the time but occasionally. My husband takes a shower sometimes with the boys ( like after we come home from the beach and everyone is sandy and in need of a shower at the same time). They are 4 and 7. I think this year though we might have to stop though, the oldest is starting to push that age limit when its appropriate
Hannah - posted on 04/23/2010
What happen to baby tubs? I have never taken a bath with my son except once when he was first born and I don't plan on starting anytime soon. I take showers and he takes baths. Children start remembering things at around 1 years old, i don't think you should scar your children with the memory of thier naked parent in the bath tub with them. And I'm not totally werid about being naked, I breastfeed my son, but he takes a bath by himself and loves playing in the water.
Darbie - posted on 04/23/2010
I think that once they can walk, then they can take showers by themselves. However, when getting a bath, they can be in the tub by themselves, unless it's easier to get them cleaned up by holding them. I have a soon to be 21 month old who loves to take showers by herself. She's very independent. And I have a soon to be 9 month old who still can't quite sit on her own yet. It's very difficult to give her baths, when I'm on the outside of the tub, because she's a very quirmy baby. So I or her daddy sits in the tub, while the other is on the outside of the tub washing her down. Once clean, we let her splash til she's yawing and ready for bed.
Brennis - posted on 04/23/2010
For me it depends more on how comfortable the mom and later the child are. My daughter is 15 months and at first she didn't like the bath unless i was in it too, she hated the baby bath. Thats how it started, but now she loves the bath, every time she follows me to bathroom she heads for the tub. We have a big tub, that might also play a role, so its not problem for me and baby in there.
I feel that this is a good time for her and me. I feel that it will allow her to ask me body questions, and give me the time to answer. If I am open from the start.
I bath nude, but my hubby baths with her with a swimsuit on. I also, think that the gender of the child and the parent play another role in the decision. I don't think i will be, AS open with a son, but i hope his dad will be.
Ashley - posted on 04/23/2010
my daughter is only 5 mnths and when we tried the baby bath she screamed even trying to wing her in. then we tried sink once again she didn't have anything for it. she had to get a bath after the what looks like milk attacks so we did one last thing and that was put her in tub with me. Now my husband and i agree that being that he works 6-4 and we try to bath around 7-8pm that would 1-get her bath in 2-give us some family time before she goes to sleep at 8:30pm. but she does not use chair or anything. I make sure that there is hands on her at all times. Now its up to the schedule of the family and parents decision.
Sarah - posted on 04/22/2010
Hi. I have twins boy/girl, and even though they take their showers one at the time, the other one normally comes in and look, and question the differences in bodies. So we explain : boobs, etc obviously in simple terms (they'll be 4 in june).
When my husband or I have a shower, the kids come in the bathroom, try to look through the shower glass door, and then go back to what they were doing.
My parents have always been pretty open about nudity, so were my husband's. However as soon as the kids want to be on their own then that's fine, it will be their choice.
Kristi - posted on 04/22/2010
thanks for posting about this! it is something i have been thinking about too. my son is almost 3 but still takes showers with us -mostly with his daddy but when in a hurry with me. it doesn't seem to bother him and he doesn't question or stare so i didn't see a problem with it. especially since i am 7 months pregnant with our second son and he will see me nursing the baby soon so he should be comfortable with me.
Jodi - posted on 04/22/2010
I don't think there is a set age, it think it's dependant on each individual child. My daughter is only 14 months old and we still bathe/shower together. But when it starts getting uncomfortable or she starts noticing certain body parts then I think we will stop.
Tiffany - posted on 04/22/2010
I have stopped here recently bc my son was asking where my penis was and who all has a penis in the house. So now he is only allowed to bath or shower with his dad. That too will soon stop bc now he has started telling us if he wants to bathe with daddy or alone. We have always bathed with him til this point and he loves his bubble bathes in his Cars bubbles. But he sometimes still wants bubbles and daddy. He takes good showers with hie daddy too. I feel that as long as he isn't touching and acting as if he doesn't want too. Its Ok. Its a good bonding exsperiance that I will miss but we have learned to bond in other ways. I dry him off and put on his jammies now and give him his night time cup as we cuddle and watch T.V. or read a book. Whatever he chooses. Its our time then. He wants mommy to tuck him in and mommy and daddy to say his prayers and each one of us have to say a diff one. He says want to hear mommy prayers now daddy prayers. Too sweet. Try not to hang on to hard though as much as we would love to freeze time we can't. unfortunatley theres no rewind button on kids,or mute, or volume and unfortunatley no manual on how to's. Good luck and go with what makes the two of you comfortable. ;)
Bernie - posted on 04/22/2010
i think when there an infant its fine.. but i personally stopped bathing with my son when he was 8or 9 months old cause i was feeling a bit uncomfy with the it. and i still shower with my daughter shes only 2. itll probley stop soon too. i just feel like one theres not enough room in the tub for 2 people once there old enough to take up space lol and i feel like its not very exceptable to have your son share at his moms body parts.. it not fair to him either. but thats the way i feel about it.
Brittiny - posted on 04/22/2010
Around 2 or 3, when the curiosity is overwhelming, I would think that's a good time to stop with opposite gender bathing. Upon occasion, my 7yo daughter still jumps in the tub with me (by her preference). I think men have a bigger problem with this, my husband would die before he would let my 2yo daughter in the shower with him, but we came from different worlds growing up. Even as a teenager, myself and all of my siblings, even my brother, would barge right into the bathroom when mom was in the tub and it was never a big deal - slightly different, but along the same lines. I know a mom that is competely uncomfortable bathing with her 2year old daughter in the buff, so she wears a swimsuit, no big deal. I also have my 2yo daughter and 7mo. old son share a bath because it's easier for me, and I think that's totally ok, too.
Melissa - posted on 04/15/2010
I think it is a personal preference. If they are pointing and asking questions...... Well.... Maybe the sharing baths should stop-- Or wear a swimsuit.
My daughter is almost 13 months, and I only bathe/shower with her if I am in an absolute hurry. She thinks its funny to watch the soap bubbles go down the drain... My husband (Her father) does not even allow her to be in the same room as him while he changes/showers.
Like stated above, to each their own.
Sarah-Anne - posted on 04/15/2010
my daughter is 13 months and she sometimes takes a shower with my husband or myself. As soon as she starts being interested in certain body parts it will stop with my husband, but she'll probably still take a shower with me until maybe 3, when i can trust her to sit in her room and not get in trouble when i need to shower before my husband gets home from work. it will defiantly stop before she starts school.
Alicia - posted on 04/15/2010
when my daughter was sick and having a hard time without me my husband would just bring her in to shower with me. shes almost 8 months now. im pretty sure it will end when shes like 1. just because my grandma and aunt on my dads side thought it was alright until we were like 6 and i still remember. and thats weird to me. just go with your gut :)
Alina - posted on 04/15/2010
With my son, I stopped when he was 18 months, but he can/does still bathe with Daddy, and he's four. I feel it's okay right now for him to shower with Daddy. He just likes being in there and copying everything my husband does, including cologne and deodorant and brushing his hair. My bathroom is soaking wet because they're in there playing, but it's father/son time :) My husband has never bathed with our daughter and never will, but I bathe with her and will let her shower with me until she's four or five (she's two now). When we get dressed, my husband will not get dressed/undressed in front of his daughter, and I won't do it in front of our son, but same sex is okay to me . . .
Krystal - posted on 04/15/2010
hi my son is 11 months and we bath together most of the time (sometimes daddy wants to bath him if not he feels like hes missing out on boding time so i let him) but when hes in the bath with me (im in there nude at the moment because i feel hes still to young to even understand anyway but he likes the skin contact we have (he doesnt breastfeed, hes been bottle fed since day 1) so i think he just likes the feeling of being close to mummy. but once my son gets around 2 then i will probably stop bathing with him. but at the moment i like bath times because we have fun slashing and i like having that close contact. i do think after about 3-4 its a bit weird only because they go to nursery and tell their friends stuff and i dont really want to have any bad feedback from parents or teaching lol, but at the moment mummy and son bath times are continueing. :) xx
Alicia - posted on 04/15/2010
My older three kids took showers/ baths with me til they were about 2 or 3 years old. My now 14 month old takes them with me too. If I don't put him in than he tries to climb in. He will usually sit at the back of the tub while I shower, than when I finish I fill the tub for his bath and he plays til I am dressed. But I also agree with the other moms who say it is only if you are comfortable and at a certain age it does need to stop. 3 years was my limit and that was with my only girl, the boys stopped when they started asking why mommy looks different than them.
Aisha Maria - posted on 04/13/2010
I think it all depends on how comfortable you are with nudity. I've taken a shower with my toddler sometimes. We usually shower together because we're in a hurry and don't have time for 2 separate baths. But he really does prefer to be in there alone. And while breastfeeding my 4-month old, my toddler always looks & is very interested. I'm not uncomfortable showing my sons this side to me. Some mothers feel uncomfortable with nudity/showering in front of their children. It all depends on how comfortable you are. I do agree that at some age it will be wrong for your child to see you completely nude. I think closer to the pre-k & kindergarten years is when it's unacceptable. And agree with Amanda because children say things about their mommys & daddys in school, so you don't want any feedback from a teacher or parent.
Amanda - posted on 04/13/2010
When my son first started sitting up without a bath chair I got in the tub with him. I did put my swim suit on cause my mom was handing him to me. Some parents don't care if their child sees them naked, if you don't ware clothing. But to me once your child can sit on their own really well then let them have the bath all to them self! To me once your kid is old enough to understand body parts then they are to old to be bathing or showering with. If you wait till he/she is in school and they say something they will be teased too, so the sooner the better in my mind. But just one moms opinion.
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