How do you get a 3 1/2 yr old and a 6 3/4 year old on a good routine that has never been on a routin

Wendy - posted on 10/22/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I feel like a failure as a mom because my kids needs structure and a good routine and they really dont have both and they dont sleep in the same room anymore. Their daddy is gone two weeks out of each month and when he is home Im still mommy and daddy because it takes a week for my husband to get his body back on US time. So can you please give me some insight and advice!!! Thankyou moms!!!!!

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Dawn - posted on 10/22/2010

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Well, here's a suggestion: As a mother of 5, I have a lot of chaos, so I make the daily routine simple. This applies only to my 3 and 6 year olds. The others are pretty independent. We get up early, have breakfast, then I run errands or clean (they play during this time), then it's lunch and "movie time". This gives me a chance to nap, if necessary, or just put my feet up. After that, I will read stories, allow them to color, play video games, or take them to the park for a good run. I think making the afternoon time the period where Mommy gives them all her attention helps with their daily boredom. Around 3ish, my 12, 15, and 16 year olds get home. They play with them while I make dinner. Then do whatever, baths every other day, bedtime FIRMLY between 8 and 9, then I get an hour or two to do what I want. Key is to take control, or they will dictate the day! :) Wish you luck, and let me know what you think. Dawn

Casey - posted on 10/22/2010

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your not a failure as a mum!!! I know what it is like to be a stay at home and have your partner work away mine only comes home on the weekends so I know how hard it can be, so don't ever think that you are a failure as a mum.
First you need to sit down and work out what sort of routine you want for both kids and then start making a list for example I'm guessing you oldest is at school so you need a time that you get up in the morning, breakfast, showers and dressed and then what time you drop him off at school and then while he is at school focus on the little one and try to get some structure into his day but be realistic cause you don't want to be running around and keeping him flat out all day and keep it simple too, so one day he might go to daycare or playgroup, the next day might be cooking at home, the next might be a craft and painting afternoon, the next might be spent outside gardening or at the park etc, just keep things varried but also allow time for you to do housework and stuff.
When your oldest comes home from school the routine will change again I would probably go with a afternoon snack, playtime together, dinner, bathtime, story book (take turns in choosing) and then bed by 8:00-8:30pm.
Because your kids are a little bit older it doesn't need to be a strict routine just so long as they have proper sleep times, meal times and some structured activties to help prevent boredom. Also it might help to make a fun roster/routine board with the kids so that they can see they're names and the days activities it helps for them to get in on the act too and it will help to keep you motivated.
Also make sure you have a routine for disaplining the kids too try fun reward charts for them for when they do good things and also have a naughty chair in a quiet succluded spot in the house for those naughty time too and remember to explain to them what they've done wrong and why they have to have time out and remember it's 1 minute for every year they are old but if they move or talk it's another minute added (we have ours in the laundry cause it's away from everyone with no toys or tv).
And make sure you be firm with them both, because you are on your own so much like me it's important that they know that your boss and that they have to do as you say.
When your partner is home try to still stick to the routine but also try to include some fun family activities too like going to the beach, park, fishing etc.
Good luck darls and hang in there :)

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