How do you get your little one to sleep in his/her own bed in their own room?

[deleted account] ( 9 moms have responded )

My child refuses to sleep alone in her room without the biggest fight on earth by the time she gives up i'm asleep on the floor with my mouth open lol!

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[deleted account]

My suggestion would be to look into attachment parenting. Though the "normal" recommendation would be to make them change, an attachment parenting style might encourage you change your expectations to fully supporting your childs needs. I do not believe all children are playing games or trying to manipulate their parents, do you remember being small and not knowing what the world is like. It is usually a matter of the child not feeling safe and though it may be unrealistic, it is real to them.

My 10 ds still has fear issues and I can reason with him till I am blue in the face but when a situation arises, logic is not going to work. My goal as a parent is to give them a solid foundation that they can trust to be there and struggle through their fears with them, not force them to handle the fear alone. This causes alot of grown up attachment and trust issues. Just my observation from 12 yrs of parenting, study of fears and psycology.

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Michell - posted on 01/29/2010

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The super nanny thing works sometimes, but mine still gets up during the night. I usually tell her she is okay and to go back to sleep that the sun is still sleeping. Sometimes it works and there are times she ends up crawling in bed with us and falling asleep, then I put her back to bed. Good luck.

Jodie - posted on 01/29/2010

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well what i did with my daughter was she started off nappin in her room then when we put her in her room my partner slept in there with her for the first few days now shes in there by her self with no tantrums and sleeps thru the night x

Monica - posted on 01/29/2010

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different methods work for different kids, it seems like your daughter has learned that your not going to let her in your room, so shes trained you to stay in hers! make sure you stay on routine as much as possible, bathtime, books, and goodnight, fpr exmp. then leave her to go to sleep, she will probably freak out for the first night, or even week, but she will give in eventually. good luck :)

Elizabeth - posted on 01/29/2010

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Oh, man! We went through this with our first and learned our lesson!!! We tried everything our moms, the doc and friends suggested. Finally we had to just put her in her room, say good night and go lock ourselves in our room. She spent the night beating on our door and we spent the night cuddled up me crying.

Then next morning we found her cuddled up on her bed and that was the end of it. Every mom I've talked to has said they didn't find an easy solution to this one, just had to do the tough love thing!

The best policy is not to set the bad habit of putting them in the bed with you. If you do, like we did at first, be prepared for a tough transition!!!

Good luck, I hope you'll find an easier way than we did, b/c it was aweful. At least it was a quick one night thing though!!

Good luck!!! Gotta break that habit, though, I know people who still have 10-13 year old kids that sleep with them!!! And there is NO WAY I could handle that!!

Ms. Erin - posted on 01/29/2010

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The way Super Nanny resolves this situation is the way we've been doing it for years in our family. Do your normal routine, whatever that is ... story, fav toy, cuddle, sing ... then say, "It's time for bed now! Sweet dreams." Something like that in a happy tone, give kisses and leave the room. They'll get out, trust me. Once more say, "Time for bed." and put them back in the bed. If they get out again, don't say anything and put them back in the bed. This time sit on the floor with your back to the bed and say nothing. No matter what. DO NOT GIVE IN. Just sit there while they have a fit. Replace them to the bed if they get out and sit back down. They WILL lay down and go to sleep. In the a.m. praise them for a wonderful night."Look who's a big girl!" Talk about sweet dreams, etc. The next night you try it all over again. This works. Takes longer for some than others, but it works. Try and see an episode of Jo Frost working this routine. Blessings. Ms Erin

[deleted account]

find out why she doesn't want to. is she afraid of something? i heard an awesome trick of a spray bottle filled with monster repellent (water with some food coloring or even a little glitter, just remember they may spray it before you add glitter). is she just being stubborn? sometimes they just need some simple understanding. like "i know you want to sleep with mommy, but mommy wants to sleep by herself tonight. it would make me very happy if you went to sleep in your room by yourself tonight. if you want to come to bed with me when you wake up, that's ok." or whatever is ok for you. keep it as simple as you need to for your child, but be consistent. if your child gets used to falling asleep with you in the room, she will look for you and get upset if you are not there when she wakes up.

i had to sit outside my son's room and constantly close the door to keep him in. it was a big struggle, but i made it clear that i am the mom and i am in charge. i know he didn't want to go to bed by himself, but i was not going to hold him and rock him to sleep. at almost 4 he was getting to be too big of a boy for that. he will now go to sleep by himself and stay in his room (with the exception of going to the bathroom), until he wakes up around 12pm and comes to bed with us. that will be a habit i'll be working on breaking soon though.

Monica - posted on 01/29/2010

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it's tricky, you have to take it slow...

start with letting her fall asleep while you're there, then start making a routine of reading her a book or two, or telling a story, and getting her a cup of water for her bedside, leaving the door open, reminding her she's a big girl and mommy's right out there!! Tell her she can hear you and know that you're there!

Good luck!! :) It takes time! :)

Amy - posted on 01/29/2010

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Well, your situation sounds worse than mine. My four year old still comes out in the middle of the night. Granted, things have gotten much better than they used to be and he's not doing it "as" often as he did. Things which seemed to help him were a nightlight (and we threaten to take it away if he keeps getting out of bed). It's slightly problematic with him though, he has an overactive imagination which makes him scared of things like shadows and things moving in his room from the fan. Have you tried visiting your local library on bedtime books? I do mean the kind that actually tell a story about going to bed and falling asleep. I've read a few of those to my son. Another question to ask yourself could be "how active is the home before my child goes to sleep". I'm sure you've read everywhere that a bedtime routine is important. And in this case with children who put up a fight, it's even more important. I've also learned that it's best to give my son a time warning. Maybe start with 30 minutes and report the remaining amount of time left every 5 minutes...and then it's time to brush teeth, get a sip of water, potty, and lay down. Oh, he also likes to know that we check on him. We've recently pulled out the old baby monitor (the one with a video and sound) and we tell him how we can see him.



I hope yours fights become fewer and farther between! Hang in there and best of luck to you.

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