How do you keep from being the frumpy housewife?

Mandi - posted on 02/07/2013

Hi girls, I used to struggle with being the frumpy housewife when what I really wanted for my family was the old fashioned supermom.. So I did some searching for some old fashioned advice, I was able to find some hilarious older books at my local library... It inspired me to try putting on makeup and getting dressed in the morning, it boosted my confidence immediately, but was taking too much of my time in the morning. So I came up with a very quick version of my normal routine, instead of a full face of makeup, I rub 'BB Cream' all into my face, which is amazing its like primer foundation in a moisturizer that you can rub in your hands and lather on for a seriously flawless face. Then I throw some blush and if I have the time, mascara.. I tried to find clothes that were comfortable, easy to throw on and look good.. I usually end up with tights and a nice t shirt ( my husband goes nuts over the tights lol) since I've been doing these little steps, I feel a lot better about myself, no more frump feeling. And my husband has noticed and mentioned a difference in my personality as well he keeps asking what's up with looking so sexual the time, which is really nice !.. I also like to outline every morning what I want to accomplish for the day (chores, appointments and a couple ideas for dinner/lunch, sectioned into 'must-do' and 'do-if-theres-time' lol) the list I make in the morning helps me keep on track and not over extend myself for the day... On top of those things that helped me get my groove back, I started adding liTtle exercises to my daily routine, I often do squats whole unloading the dishwasher or doing the laundry, along with lunges while I vacuum, my body is getting back to post-baby, I feel great and hubby has never been happier.. :) I know it's a little crazy, but I'm one of those perfectionist freaks lol.

Brandy - posted on 09/17/2011

I have gotten myself out of the frumpy housewife look and allow myself to get up and showered before the kids get up. I used to never wear makeup but i have started to lately and getting my hair done makes me feel pretty. I get dressed in comfy wear in public clothes, like a babydoll black dress and leggings or jeans and a nice sweater. it just makes me feel like more than just a stay at home mom. Usually it's the only thing i do for myself!

Leeann - posted on 09/16/2011

i started using herbal essence tousle me softly gives me that pretty just crawled out of bed look, a nice top and jeans. i also tell myself as i look in the mirror that i look hot. it may not always be true, but it goes a long way to making me feel better

Lauren - posted on 03/10/2011

I make sure i get dressed into something comfortable but nice like jeans and a nice top, i do my hair and make up every day and make sure that i go out with my son at least once a day even if it is just for a walk

Qqq90 - posted on 03/09/2011

Well i try to get dress atleast 3 to 4 times a week! Look nice when the hubby gets home...a lil make up...smell goods etc...you got to keep things together especially if you're running with the kids all the time!! "ME" time is always in the works :-)

Sonja - posted on 03/08/2011

Every so often I take a page from the "playboy book" and dress up real nice (not over the top, but as if I were going somewhere) and continue my day in that fashion. I still do everything like normal; cook, clean, laundry, dishes, work-out, but I try to take care of myself. I'm meticulous about my nails and hair and face and skin, constantly trying to perfect/preserve my body. Working out helps. :) Sometimes I'll exchange my pajama pants and loose shirt for some leggings and a tunic, do my hair and do my makeup to perfection, just because it makes me feel pretty.

Krystin - posted on 03/08/2011

If you figure this one out let me know :) Ive got a 2yr old and a 1yr old who almost never nap at the same time. Its hard for me to shower anytime than at night. And when the boys wake up in the morning, theres NO time for me to do anything with myself. Im home all day so I tend to just stay in sweats and a sweatshirt. I wish I could fit in some more "me" time during the day but it just never works! I always get ready on the weekend tho because my husband is home but unfortunately for me, thats it :(

Anna - posted on 03/02/2011

Very interesting reading! I'd not really thought about it before, and while I don't wear ultra casual stuff (usually wear jeans or denim skirt and nice top) it does take me ages in the morning to get out of my pyjamas! I usually feel better when I get dressed earlier so will work on showering earlier. I've also made a definite effort since having children to buy much fewer clothes but nicer better quality ones and that definitely makes me feel better.

Terri-lee - posted on 03/01/2011

ill have frumpy days and glamour mama days depending on how i feel and if i can be bothered. its not something that i think to hard about. I worked out a few yrs back how to look nice without too much effort. you just find out what suits you and stick to it. Im not going to bother with a full face of makeup and going into my wardrobe picking a cute outfit for the day if im going to be cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming in 40 degree heat. thats just a silly waste of time. But in saying that, I will still slick on a bit of mascara, brush my hair into a neat ponytail and wear something half decent so if theres a knock at the door im not a mess.

one thing that helps, is not even OWNING clothing that looks terrible on you. I do not own a pair of baggy track pants. I do however, own a selection of stretchy, comfortable black sports pants, kinda like leggings but they are pants. they look nice but are perfect for wearing at home for comfort too.

I usually have a very quick shower, put on a little bit of makeup and spray some purfume on before hubby gets home. it makes all the difference. looking fresh and nice. Ill also change out of my days cleaning clothes into something casual but nice. Yknow, jeans and a singlet or whatever.

its not hard to keep from being frumpy. But ther is nothing wrong with having a frump day. as long as you make the effort to fix yourself up before partner gets home or before guests arrive. its a self respect thing to me.

and if you look fine but just FEEL frumpy, dont worry. Figure out why you feel that way. Go get a new haircut or new haircolour, sometimes a little change makes you feel fabulous. Or have a nice bath when the kids are in bed and slather yourself in nice smelling moisturisers etc and paint ur toenails. youll feel less "frumpy" for sure. and it only takes one evening when the kids are asleep. Or you could eat healthier and exercise if its your weight thats a problem.

Elisabeth - posted on 02/28/2011

Nothing. I just roll with it. I am a frumpy mom, why deny it?

Rachael - posted on 02/28/2011

I have made a habit of shopping at save mart (cheaper than buying new clothes but it means I can update what I wear on a regular basis). I live in comfy clothes but make a point of only buying nice looking comfy clothes, and only letting myself wear trackies once a week. I don't do make up but make sure I have comfy nice looking clips in my hair( the ones on http://www.sachainc.co.nz/ are awesome always look good and feel secure).

Misty - posted on 02/28/2011

I usually feel better and do more when I am able to do my makeup and fix myself up. But I dont get the chance to do that very much. Maybe 1 day every week to two weeks. I am 22 and have a 3 1/2 year old boy, a 2 year old boy, and a 4 month old boy and they do not like to see me doing my make up or getting dressed up real nice lol. When I go to do my stuff thats when they start fighting, crying, or getting in to things. So, most of the time my hair is put up, i dont have much makeup on, and I am in Comfy pants and a tank top.. I do not feel good about myself most of the time but my husband always tells me I am beautiful without my makeup and dreesed up. It helps. I wish I could find a way to pretty myself and feel better about myself during the day..

Sharlene - posted on 02/28/2011

About a year ago, I started wearing make up again - every day - no matter what I was doing. I feel so much better for it! Also, I have started spending a bit of money on clothes - we don't have much spare money, but just after Christmas I got 2 tops and 2 dresses for a little over $100! Just looking nicer makes me feel better.

Laura - posted on 02/28/2011

Wear heels even if they are not too high. You can never feel frumpy when wearing heels.

Tracie - posted on 02/28/2011

It's just as easy to throw on pretty, comfortable jeans and a nice top as it is to throw on a track suit. You're still comfy, but you don't feel like a complete schlub if you need to run out for something. Throw on a head band and some earrings and you look downright put together!

Myrtis - posted on 02/28/2011

Before the kids wake up I go for a run and then shower and get ready as though I were going to work. I don't wear outrageously beautiful clothes, cause let's face it, they'll get dirty, but I do make sure I don't wear work out clothes, that's what I change out of after the run. :)

Also, make-up and perfume, naughty underthings (only hubby sees those or gets them dirty... lol...) and I always "do" my hair. It takes good hair to tackle a 6, 4 and 2 year old having a temper tantrum! :)

Seriously, you're worth it, take the time to be good to yourself.

Susan - posted on 02/28/2011

Dress like you're getting paid and will be in front of others. How do you want your child to remember mommy: frumpy or fabulous? Sure, putting on eye-liner, lipgloss, and a nice shirt for a baby might sound weird, but you never know when you'll need to run out for an errand or when a loved one will need you in an emergent situation. Just make sure when you take your make-up off and have your hair up that your child knows you are confident in your natural appearance and think you're beautiful just the same.

Jennifer - posted on 02/28/2011

I am in the same boat as you

April - posted on 02/28/2011

that's during the week =) on the weekend I wear different stuff just depending on where what and how I feel. Make sure clothes are clear and hair and face are done how you want it and it makes all the difference.

April - posted on 02/28/2011

Im a mother of 5 boys. I like to wear a more fitting cotton bottom like a work out pant/Capri and I will wear a ribbed tank top or 2 and if chilly or cold a little zipped up jacket/hoddie then I always do my hair and make-up. I feel energized, cute and can really go any where and with 5 boys I can keep up feeling comfortable.

Christy - posted on 02/28/2011

I realized the other day that my wardrobe was looking frumpy so I treated myself to a sale at Kohls. I wash my hair daily and at least put base and a lip color on.

Sarah - posted on 02/27/2011

Since becoming pregnant again, I have started wearing skirts and dresses every day - mainly because it's more comfortable in this hot weather and also because all my pants are getting too tight/small (including my maternity pants from #1! =( ...)

Previously I would more likely throw on a pair of shorts or sweatpants too, but I always make an effort to shower and put on a bit of make-up / perfume (sometimes) because I know it makes me feel so much better - more motivated etc. Even if I know I'm not going to be going anywhere, I still like to make some effort - it helps me get through the day =)

Alexandra - posted on 02/27/2011

I personally despise seeing women in yoga pants/track pants unless they're in the gym...it just kinda looks like they've given up. I dress decently, but not fancy in jeans, heels if I'm out, make effort to shower, throw a little makeup on and have a tidy 'do even if it's in a ponytail. It easy to throw on comfy clothes, but when you look in the mirror you should be proud of your appearance. If track pants make you proud, then so be it!

Kataraina - posted on 02/27/2011

I try to remember to set my clothes up at night for the next day. That way I can think about what Im wearong properly and not grabbing to closest thing next to me in at 6 in the morning. I also try get the kids clothes ready aswell that way I save that little bit of time and avoid any unnessisary frustration. I hope this helps a little. xo

Allison - posted on 02/27/2011

I am a stay at home mother with a 17 month old son and am 8 months pregnant. I find that jumping in the shower before my husband leaves for work so he can watch our son during his breakfast is very helpful. I live in my yoga pants whether I'm pregnant or not, so just adding a cute top and putting on foundation and mascara makes me feel like a million bucks when I have to go out. I don't bother with my hair just cause it never stays where I put it(very fine), so I air dry or blow dry it add some earrings and I can go anywhere without feeling self-conscious. I can also nap when necessary without worrying about smudging makeup or messing up my hair...keep it easy and treat yourself on the weekends if it helps, but be kind to yourself!! having a frumpy day or week is understandable. Oh and always, always wear a bra..without one you're bound to feel even frumpier :)

Shannon - posted on 02/26/2011

i may wear track suits and gym clothes around the house but they match and arent your normal sweats...i also make sure to shower and do my hair and makeup everyday, even if its just some powder and mascara!

Carol - posted on 02/26/2011

One thing I do is I put on a little makeup like eyeliner and mascara, I have short hair so I don't worry too much about fixing it I just maake sure it is clean and comed. I also try to dress in comfy but nice lookin clothes.

SHANNON - posted on 02/24/2011

you need to realize if your choice was to stay @ home u need to spice your home up. the prettier it is the more youll wanna dress good and invite ppl over and feel accepted and gorgeous

Amber - posted on 02/24/2011

I myself would love to look pretty everyday but my husband hates makeup totally and all. He always says I am more beautiful w/o it but it makes me feel so much better bout myself :). I only put it on when I go to the store or something like that and its just my eyes I do up so it doesnt take me but 5 min to get it all done. My mom always used to say a nice pair of jeans, mascara,lip gloss will make u look very good for a fast get ready feel good look. She said that after I had my 1st child lol she was a stay at home mom also an would get all beautiful b4 my dad came home an house would be perfect an dinner cooking. HA I cant keep up with that and she has 7 kids ages 31-12 I only have 3

Stifler's - posted on 02/24/2011

http://thefrumpymom.com/2010/07/07/you-k...

Liliana - posted on 02/23/2011

A little vanity helps here. Even on days I know I will be home all day I assume the possibility that someone will see me; I might have to run out or someone may stop by. So I make effort to comb my hair and add a little make-up (at least lipstick). It's very tempting to live in sweats because we're doing housework, but yoga pants are way sexier and I am comfortable and can sneak in a little stretching and exercise easily.

Christine - posted on 02/23/2011

Hi Amie, what you're describing is so easy to do!! What I do is to make sure that when I get up I get dressed into jeans and a tee shirt - something that makes you feel good. Forget about what you have to do in your day and do something nice for you. BTW track pants aren't that bad!!

Kristine - posted on 02/23/2011

I work out, TRY to eat right, and do my hair and make-up everyday. We have a date night once a week with the baby where I get really dolled up. Staying attractive to my spouse is my number 2 priority.

Jessica - posted on 02/23/2011

Hearts at Home:) has a session called "the chocolate side of marriage" in there they have some uber great advice:) One of the tid bits was look different from when your husband kissed you good bye. Weather that is to just get dressed and "brush" your hair, or its putting make up on and adding some jewelry... ask your husband what he thinks? does he mind the "frumpy" look? does he appreciate your "dolling" up:) and then find out what makes you feel better?? me, its a shower and actually getting to drink my hot cuppa the first time!! (not reheated in the microwave:):)

Beth - posted on 02/23/2011

I don't. I love frumpy!!! I cherish it. I treasure it.

If it really bothers you, then get some nicer athletic pants or sweats, and take a bit of time to "prepare" yourself as if you are going to be going out, even if you are not.

I hope this helps!

Michele - posted on 02/23/2011

You have to get dressed every day, shower do your hair, put on some makeup (i just do a little mascara and use the color brick blush on my face) and NO sweatpants!!! they are cumfy but there are nicer options such as tight leggins and a long shirt (fitted)

Michele - posted on 02/23/2011

Oh, and I really HATE to shop. Wal-Mart is more manageable and easier on our budget. They really have cute things that last.

Michele - posted on 02/23/2011

My DH continued to say, "hard day with J?" if he came home & I was still wearing my pjs. We decided to get me some casual clothes that fit and were comfy. Went to Wal-Mart & spent about $50 and now have a week's worth of clothes that look nice. Even if I don't get dressed by the time J gets up, I will shower & dress during his nap. Of course, I only have one so it could be more difficult with multiple children. That's what has worked for us. DH may still come home to a frazelled wife but at least I am wearing different clothes that when he left.

Sandy - posted on 02/23/2011

I shower, dry my hair, dress (in something other than my jammies) and wear make up when leaving the house on errands. As long as you can pass your reflection without saying "Ohmigawd what the heck is that?!" you're good. ☺

Katie - posted on 02/23/2011

I am really into Vintage and lolita fashion and now I'm 31 I think what the hell and wear it anyway. It makes me feel pretty and I love making the house to match my style as it makes me happy :D I just have to try not to spend to much. And no joggers unless working out! Ever!!

Hillary - posted on 02/22/2011

Both of my kids are in school but I work from home so if I wanted to lounge around in my pj's all day, I certainly could. ;) My days usually consist of getting housework done and a quick clean up if needed (I straighten up before I go to bed so I can wake up to a neat house). I really am all about comfort so I have a couple of coordinating track suits with cute bling designs on the back and near the pockets on the pants. I wear these quite a bit. My other go to outfits are a skinny jeans or leggins with cute boots and an easy tunic. I have my closet seperated into casual and dressy so it's easy to sort through and figure out what to wear. I usually don't wear make up but will always put on a tinted moisturizer and most of the time some mineral make up and lip gloss. Throw on a few pieces of cute jewelry and I'm good to go :) I think alot of it is planning...and sometimes lighting a good fire under your own butt. :)

Karen - posted on 02/22/2011

I dress each day as though I am going to be going somewhere. You can still be comfortable and presentable. Makes you feel a lot better too.

Joy - posted on 02/22/2011

I *MAKE* me time away from the kids once a week. I dress to the nines, try to look sexy and go sing karaoke. (I'm even talking undies that I would blush if anyone saw). Now I find myself actually trying to look better all around just because I want to. Like putting on lipstick and a nicer shirt just to go get bread. It does make a big difference in how you feel about yourself.

Georgeanna - posted on 02/22/2011

I have a few things I do that keep me feeling good about myself. I keep my hair in a cut that is cute and easy to work with and takes very little styling, this way I'm not tempted to just throw it in a ponytail. I also take a mommy day on one of my husbands days off each week and have a mani and pedi. My husband works nights so when he leaves for work and my daughter hits the hay I light some candles in my bathroom, draw a tub full of warm water and toss in some bath salts. Comfy jeans during the day with a cute but comfy top and I'm also a big fan of cute sandals.

I'm an independent consultant for passion parties, I can book as many or as few parties as I want, so a few times a month I'll work some parties into my schedule and getting dressed up and getting together with a few ladies is always fun. It's great to talk to people over 3ft tall and have conversations that don't involve explaining to someone why they should not be trying to fit themselves into the dryer lol. I have to admit to that party nights are great because after spending an hour or two talking about intimacy and teaching women about relationship enhancing products and techniques I always go home feeling like a sex goddess and my husband def loves that aspect of my job haha.

Diane - posted on 02/22/2011

:-) I think that showering & doing light makeup & something quick to my hair is a great way to start my day. (The key is "quick," because I don't personally have a lot of time to spend on this with my little ones running around.) But anyway, then I don't "feel" frumpy. I'm not a morning person, and this is a big jumpstart for me and gives me a sunnier outlook on the day. I agree with whoever said to get rid of clothes that make you feel frumpy. I also have a few basic things that I wear quite a bit, but I'm never caught off guard when people come to my door or I'm running errands, etc. with my kids later in the day. I can just refresh quick and go!! This may not be too popular of a thing to say, but I quit wearing sweats and athletic pants during the day unless I'm working out, and instead I wear some cute (but not pricey) jeans. Athletic pants and sweats make me feel like I'm still in my pjs. I also keep my fingernails naked and short (but I also play piano & can't have long nails), but I do keep my toes painted & love to do girly nail art on them. They stay looking good a lot longer than fingernails do! I also think that when we are at home caring for our family and their environment, that we need to take more pride in that because we are providing a loving, nurturing place for them that they will recall happily in the future. It's hard not to have times when we look frumpy, but that's what I do & it works for me! Enjoy your family & all that you do for your home; kids grow up too quick & now's the time to take it all in!

Aarin - posted on 02/22/2011

Join a Mommy group!!! Check to see if your area has a MOMS Club or a MOPS program. It gives you an excuse to get out of the house, meet other stay-at-home moms, and it's fun for your children too. My MOMS Club has been a lifesaver for me!

Rachael - posted on 02/22/2011

I buy cute rubber gloves. You can get them at Wal-Mart, Marshall's or Ross for pretty cheap, like under $5. It's a small investment to feel pretty while doing dishes. The other thing that is essential is a cute apron. I just bought one with the Eiffel Tower and other french things all over it. I wear it over my pajamas in the morning while I do kitchen work and I feel great, even if I'm not dressed for the day yet. The next very important thing I do is make sure I shower at least every other day. Showering is one of those luxuries that can be elusive to a stay-at-home mom and housewife. It's important becuase it puts you back in the spotlight where you belong. My son used to want to shower with me, but he hated the water spraying down on him. So now, after breakfast, we have a little ritual. I ask him if he wants a mommy shower. He says, "no, no" then I tell him I'll be in the shower if he needs me. I turn on the Fraggles, and take an uninterrupted shower. I leave the door open for him to come in if he needs to, but 99% of the time, he's right where I left him when I get out. After that, if he is still occupied, I take a few minutes to dab on some blush and mascara. Poof! Instant glamor and non-frumpiness.

Chelly - posted on 02/22/2011

My husband loves me looking feminine wearing dresses and skirts. It's much easier when I wear a skirt to feel more put together.

Also I got rid of any clothes that look frumpy on me. Although, I have some outfits with the art supplies so I can get dirty with paint, cleaning etc

Tiffany - posted on 02/22/2011

I alway dress like I'm going out, even if I'm staying at home. I always do my make-up. My husband doesn't care either way, but it makes me feel better!
Don't lose yourself with your kids! You still need to have ME time even if it is 10 min of doing your make-up, painting your nails, whatever makes you feel like yourself (prior to kids!)

Heather - posted on 02/22/2011

i usually wear sweatpants in the morning and clean while il man is playing take a shower at nap time and do mak up then and try to go out mall with friends usually or even the store. and get home before hubby gets home and start dinner. i dont have that big of a place so i can get all laundry and cleaning done in the morning and got the afternoon to do whatever i want.