How do you stop this feeling of wanting another baby?
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Rebecca - posted on 02/10/2011
i feel so selfish, my husband dosent want anymore children but i cant get the thought of another baby out of my head, we have 3 amazing little girls, how can we come to a agrement cause its really getting me down, i really dont want to resent him.
CA - posted on 02/11/2011
You were MADE to feel this way hun!! Women who are called to be mothers should have a feeling of desiring more children, especially during our fertile years. This is natural and beautiful.
Even women who have definitively said "no more children" and have gotten their tubes tied or other various solutions to ensure no more pregnancies occur, VERY OFTEN say things like "Oh, I'd love another baby." But they can't have another baby anymore, and they will justify themselves saying "Well, I knew what I was doing when I got my tubes tied, I trust my former self." They will justify it by focusing on all the "wooooork" that another child is, when really, in our hearts, we know that no amount of work is reason enough to deny our family the joy of another amazing person to love.
I agree with the other mom who commented on allowing God to decide your family size. He will not give you more than you can handle, and most times, you can handle more than you think! Remember, before these little ones are entrusted to us, they were first His. If you were ever unable (financially, emotionally, physically) to raise another child, God would not put you through that. Trust him.
When you feel you are ready for another child, prayerfully trust your instincts, and trust in the Lord. When you have your next child, you will fall so in love with him/her and think "I couldn't imagine my life without you!"
Tracy - posted on 02/10/2011
I dont know if the feeling ever really leaves you. I have 4, and would love more kids too. I had a hubby who didnt, so i got my tubes done. I soemtimes regret it now, im only 33 and would really love more kids. My nest is kinda emoty during the day, and I miss the days of babies. I sometimes borrow a friends. I think if its something you and partner both want, then why not? If we all waiting till we could afford kids, knowbody would have any!
Do what makes you all happy :)
Camille - posted on 02/10/2010
Having a baby is such a beautiful experience. I suggest you just to think about the difficulty of taking care of another child when you have 5 to take care of. And if you are not very, very wealthy (that you have thousands in the bank) think about how are you going to pay for college. 6 children in this economy= not easy.
Ashleigh Jade - posted on 02/11/2011
I am having the same dilemma i have 3 wonderful kids but still ohhh and ahhh at newborns, i cant afford another child though,but i still have the cravings :) i guess we should just be happy with the fact that we were blessed with the children we have
This conversation has been closed to further comments
Amy - posted on 02/11/2011
I can understand what you are going thru. I have six and it was just a little more work. The money works itself out. I too would like another bay. I have not told my husband because one day we would like to retire. my friend has five and has no desire to have another. She says at one point you just feel your family is complete. because all of my babies were surprises I keep wishing for another one.
Lynnette - posted on 02/11/2010
My husband and I felt led years ago to let God determine our family size. We had two kids then and have 9 now. How many children you have should be between you, your husband and your God. Scripture tells us children are a blessing from God and we have certainly seen that in our lives. There is nothing wrong or unnatural about wanting another baby. God made us that way.
Dawn - posted on 02/11/2010
My experience is that you don't get it out of your head. Moms seem to know best what they can handle. My sister stopped at four and is now taking in foster kids since she cannot have any more. Don't wait until you have "enough". Money, time, whatever. The list of "enough" just keeps getting bigger and more detailed. Once the kid is here, no one in the family would trade "stuff'" for their new brother/sister. People are much more precious than stuff!
Camille - posted on 02/11/2010
Jennifer, totally agree w/ you. Having kids is beautiful but parents need to be responsible with the ones they have. I know that, in my case, it would be really difficult to get ahead financially if I had one more child. My younger girl is 3 (my other girl is 5 years old) and I have to wait two more years to begin working or getting my master's degree. I want to be there for them 24/7 until the younger one is 5. With one more I would have to wait like 6 or 7 years. I think about that and I don't regret my decision of having my tubes tied. I see babies and I think it would be neat to revive the beautiful feeling of the pregnancy and the birth but I know I went through that with my two daughters and I feel grateful about that.
Monica - posted on 02/10/2010
I know the feeling, my daughter is only 8 months and I already want another but I am waiting a little bit longer for my own reasons which goes the same for you! It's what you want and how you feel! If you feel you can handle go for it!!!
Jennifer - posted on 02/10/2010
I don't think that feeling will ever go away! I have 4 and got my tubes tied because I knew that trying to find a house, car, and money for more would be difficult. I still love the thought of having more babies but it wouldn't be a smart thing. As parents we have an obligation to our children to give them a proper life and be able to support them monetarily as well as emotionally. We have to live with the feeling of wanting another baby to ensure that the ones we have now have everything they need. Even if you had a 6th you would want a 7th, 8th, and so on. I don't think you can ever get the feeling of having a child out of your system.
I say its totally up to you. I have baby fever and I have 2 kids. My friend who is like you with 5 kids she says I fulfill her baby needs. When she needs a fix she holds one of my babies. Maybe if you find a baby to hold for a few hours or to babysit with your kids at your house then you could see if it works with the life you are living.
Susan - posted on 02/10/2010
We have four. When I was pregnant with the last, I decided I wanted him to be the last. I also knew that two years from now, I'd probably start craving baby toes again. I had my tubes tied. The issue is now off the table. Good luck with whatver you and your partner decide to do!
Laura - posted on 02/10/2010
I don't know your reasons for trying to get the idea of another baby out of your head, but I think it's beautiful that you already have 5 kids and want another one! People say that it's more work to have more kids. Some of my friends grew up in families of 7-10 kids and I watched in amazement as they worked in harmony together. Of course it's difficult at times! But as the first few kids grow older, they can help out more and things become easier. A large family is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and your kids. Is there suffering involved in carrying a child, giving birth, and raising him? Yes, of course! But doesn't pretty much everything we set out to do in life cause us some kind of suffering? A child is the only 'product' of hard work that we are truly rewarded for. "Children are a gift from God." I have a baby and nothing else I have ever done that was difficult made me as happy as he does.
Rikki - posted on 02/10/2010
and i think the qs was how do u stop this feeling? not if someone can afford it? so i think we all have jumped the gun assuming its our rite to tell a person what they can and cant do? obviously u are a great mum having raised 5 kids alredy so no 6 should be a breeze....as 4 feeling the way u do im not sure anyone can give u an answer it may go away with time and it may not i havent got to that stage myself but then again i only have one baby at the moment but feel very much the same as u do i would love to have more kids in the future and most likely will :) i realy hope you can work it all out good luck :)
Elizabeth - posted on 02/10/2010
I'm the same way.I want another baby so bad.My husband told me we had to have everything bought before we had another baby.My babies are 7 and 6.I have something called pcos so it makes it harder to conceive.I want to try and avoid medication from the doctors if I can.
Rikki - posted on 02/10/2010
its all up to u no one elce..... yes kids are costly but its all about being happy if you guys can cut costs to afford another baby i say go 4 it lifes too short and we all need to do what makes us happy. not sure if its just australia but we all pay for our own college my parents sure didnt lol :)
Camille - posted on 02/10/2010
Also, I forgot to mention, think about your health. Carrying to many pregnancies is risky. I know women who have done it and nothing bad had happened to them. But I also know women who have had uterine rupture from too many births. If you have had your kids by c-section, consider that after the 3rd child it becomes risky. Think that you have to be healthy for your 5 kids and that you have to give all your attention to them. If you have more kids... that's a handful!!!!! Really, I admire the fact that you have 5 kids and it seems that you can take very good care of them b/c you want one more baby. I have two and while they are not too many it is just difficult to raise more than one kid.
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