How long did you wait to have intercourse after vaginal delivery?

Desiree - posted on 01/13/2010 ( 77 moms have responded )

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I know the doctor says to wait 6 weeks to have intercourse. It has been 4 weeks since I gave birth. How long did everyone reallly wait? I'm afraid it will hurt, and I want to know if it's that important to wait the extra two weeks?

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Desiree - posted on 01/26/2010

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Thanx everyone! I waited 4 weeks and we had sex...It was not painful at all and it was right back to normal. I also forgot to mention that I did not tear during delievery. I was very lucky...

[deleted account]

Alyssa you are not the only one in the world I too waited ages. After my first child it was more than 12months, yes months. After my second it was about 8months and with number three it has been almost 3 months since he was born with nothing happening, the first 2 were natural births the third was an emergency c-section. I have children who want a lot of my time, and especially with the first two like their sleep time to be in mum and dad's bed too so I find I feel too drained to give such physical effort as even the most uninvolved intercourse requires, I feel I've given all I can in looking after the children and I just want some rest time. Although reading all these weeks (or days) posts, and this isn't the first spot I've seen this sort of response, I do feel like a bit of a freak and kinda sorry for my hubby.

Shannon - posted on 09/03/2012

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I waited 2 weeks, but my daughter was 7 weeks early and that was 10 years ago. I'm pregnant now and will probably wait a lot longer this time as I doubt my body will bounce back as quickly.

Evanna - posted on 01/28/2010

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5 weeks. He had gone so long without. That was the first one. But for me it was terribly painful. I had a 4th degree tear and intercourse was awful for the next 6 months. If you have no tears, it shouldn't be painful or uncomfortable. Also, if you're a little nervous, let him know. Communication is key. Lots of foreplay and taking it slow and gentle. Good luck!!

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Traci - posted on 05/11/2011

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My daughter's 2. Should I have started by now? LOL...Just kidding. I had to put that in there. I had a C-section so I really can't answer this question. Personally...take care of yourself after giving birth. You deserve it.

Rachel - posted on 02/04/2010

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We waited about 4 weeks and then I wanted it lol. All I have to say is LUBE! I was so worried my husband would be offended if I needed it but it made things so much less painful.

Lee-Ann - posted on 01/28/2010

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I waited six weeks with my first child then four weeks with my second. The gynie usually asks you at your six week check up how everything is including intercourse, so best get busy so you have an answer.

Angela - posted on 01/22/2010

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I waited 4 weeks but I had a c-section and did get clearence from the doctor before I did so. The doctor told me waiting was more to let my body heal and rest better but they said it wasn't dangerous. I would check with the doc because thats what I did.

[deleted account]

Drs have tell you to wait the 6 wks so your uterus has time to get back to normal and heal because the first 6 wks after a birth are also your most fertile and another pregnancy may not be best for all people right away. When you feel up to it it's fine just use precautions if you don't want to get pregnant again right away.

Katie - posted on 01/21/2010

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I did it for the first time last nite, and its been about 4 weeks since I had my baby, it hurt a little bit at first, but not to bad, its up to u and how ur body feels, jus take it slow.

Heather - posted on 01/21/2010

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My BF and I waited the full 6 weeks, because I had an emergency c-section, and we were afraid of damaging healing muscle tissue if we tried too soon.

Christine - posted on 01/20/2010

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I waited until I was 5 weeks postpartum. It hurt a little, but not terrible. They generally want to make sure you are healed and there are no infections. I guess it's pretty smart to wait the full 6 weeks, but I must say it was very difficult for my husband and I to even wait 5. :) Though I am sure the docs set the 6 week rule for a reason.

Alyssa - posted on 01/20/2010

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Oh my god, my poor husband...I waited a long time. I'm embarrassed to say how long actually. My stitches took forever to heal and at 12 weeks my Doc had to removed a piece of skin that didn't heal right around the stitches so I couldn't do anything. Then it hurt and I was tired and nervous about it and then we started co-sleeping with baby since he was very very colicky and needed to nurse to be comforted. Oh, poor poor hubby. I didn't realize I was like the only one if the world that waited so long.

[deleted account]

My husband and I waited the full 6wks before intercourse. For me it wasn't that it was painful...it's that I was AFRAID of it being painful. So our first time wasn't the best. And my vaginal wall had not completely come "back into form" (did I say that nice enough...lol) so that was "interesting" to say the least. But I believe your body will tell you when you are ready.

Candice - posted on 01/20/2010

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my parnter and i waited 12weeks..... purely because i was an indused laubour and the fact that we had so many misscarrages b4 the birth of our beautiful lil girl...so we waited untill i had the IUD inserted to make sure i didnt get preg again... because we waited so long it didnt hurt at all... infact it was lyk i never had the baby at all.... everything was all back to its normal self!!

Theresa - posted on 01/20/2010

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I rmember with my first going in for my 6 week check up. And the doc asked how sex was going. I said we hadn't yet because he had told us to wait 6 weeks. He said they say that hoping ppl will wait at least 3. I think it's a personal decision. Some ppl take longer to heal than others, and some ppl tear during delivery worse. My SIL has a 3rd degree tear and she said it was 6 months before she felt she was ready again. Talk to your husband about your concerns. Give it a try if there's pain you may need to stop and wait for a few more days or a week and try again. Just so your husband knows ahead of time to go slowly and that he may need to stop. He should be understanding.

Ann - posted on 01/20/2010

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Does anyone go to reputable sites-medically run professional sites to gather such medical info. It's clearly a 6 week wait on any site. Even old Doctors know this (they're the same ones who've had to remove young women's uterus's due to infections from having intercourse too soon! Those of you who say you only waited a couple of weeks were very lucky!

Gloria - posted on 01/20/2010

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My doctor said 4 weeks and that is what I did....It was fine but like you I was a little timid =)

Ann - posted on 01/20/2010

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Absolutely wait! Your cervix is still open (still discharging) and you're at risk of getting a uterine infection from your partner, possibly leading to a hysterectomy!! The doctor didn't just make up 6 weeks arbitrarily. Personally, I don't know any women who WANTED to have sex 4 weeks after delivery either.

Lacey - posted on 01/20/2010

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With my first son, we tried at 4 weeks and there was no way it was going to be comfortable let alone enjoyable so we waited a while longer and went from there. After my second son we were comfortably intimate at 2 weeks! I think it depends on how your body heals. A friend of mine had a baby at the end of November and he was a very large baby for her small size, 9lbs 7oz, and she still doesn't feel comfortable. She also had a lot of stitches so general rule is 4-6 weeks but you may be ready sooner or later than that, It all depends on your body and how fast you are healing or have healed.

Jessica - posted on 01/20/2010

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Depends if you have stitches....I would wait six weeks. But as long as your feeling okay and not in pain probably 4 weeks would be fine.

Joanne - posted on 01/20/2010

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I was concerned about postnatal intercourse for the reason that is air embolism. I know that oral sex performed on the woman is to be completely avoided and that by blowing into a woman you can cause air embolisms which are so serious they can result in death. My thinking was that air could be pushed in during penetration and this would be very dangerous. Also the cervix takes a whileto close properly and retract into position so this would also cause potential problems and discomfort. I waited until I'd had my post natal check before considering sex, even though I felt well before this. There are other ways to be intimate with your partner without having sex, it is only 6 weeks after all.. Good Luck

Melissa - posted on 01/19/2010

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I waited about two months.... It was VERY uncomfertable for me. and it even burned a little bit, but thats just me. Plus i was a young mother and i wasnt trying to have anymore babys birth control and condom both still didnt help my anxiety.

Monica - posted on 01/19/2010

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Well I was very lucky and did not tear or rip with my vaginal birth and one week after my daughters birth my hubby and I fooled around but that was because i hadn't seen him in over 2 months.(Military) and I have to say it didnt bother me though we didnt actually have intercourse. So if you feel up to it.

[deleted account]

I could have started up again as soon as we got home, the drive was there. But we waited 4 weeks, just be gentle and use some sort of Lubrication as your probably not producing much especially if your breastfeeding

Katelin - posted on 01/19/2010

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We tried at 4 weeks but it was very painful. We tried again a few days later...it did hurt quite a bit so take it very slow. You'll know if it's too much for you to handle. Use your judgement. After the first time it gets better.

Megan - posted on 01/18/2010

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it is good when you feel like it is all good. after i delivered my son i was so sore i did not feel like it was going to ever get better and then at my 6 week mark i felt fantastic.

Brianne - posted on 01/18/2010

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i waited 5 weeks but we had to go really slow and i couldnt enjoy it because i was afraid my stitches were going to tear. i have a friend that said she didnt wait the full 6 weeks and she got torn open again. she had to get stitched up again and start her healing process all over. i would wait if i were you but if you think you are ready then go for it. just be careful.

Melissa - posted on 01/18/2010

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i had to wait a bit longer because i had three stitches but when we did it kind of felt like i was a virgin again cos everything had been streched then gone back to shape so it only hurt a little bit but you should do it when you feel ready and take it really slow

Jennifer - posted on 01/18/2010

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I waited the 6 weeks with both of mine. But it was hard with the first one! I was ready to go way before that! We did a lot of playing anything went but penatration, we had a lot of fun.... With my second I just did not feel like it, it took a while to get my sex drive back after her. Take it at your pace and talk to your doc. if your hormones are rageing at you just to make sure your physicaly ready. But as I said if you desiced to wait those 2 weeks you can play and enjoy I know we learned alot more than we had known about eachothers likes and dislikes thoses weeks.

Michelle - posted on 01/18/2010

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Well a lot of it depends on any tearing you may have had. I just had some minor degree one tears, so that wasn't really an issue for me. If you're through bleeding and you're not in pain, go for it!! I was told six weeks, but I was on bed rest for three months and we weren't allowed to have sex for five months or my pregnancy, so by four and a half weeks after our son was born we were beyond ready!!! It was... not uncomfortable, but.... just..... not normal I suppose the first time, but after that I was fine. Just take it nice and slow so that if something doesn't feel right you can stop before it becomes a problem, make sure you're well lubricated, and remember that your body is different now, so you may not like the same things you used to, etc.

And if you're nervous or whatever, it is YOUR choice how long you wait. Even if the doctor gives you to go ahead, that just means you're physically ready. If you're not mentally ready, just tell your husband that, and I'm sure he'll understand. It is the woman's choice when to have sex after birth. Some women have some real issues with having sex for a while, and that's ok!! It's a big thing you just did, and can be a lot to recover from in many different ways. Just make sure you're talking to your husband and your doctor openly.

Wendy - posted on 01/18/2010

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ya we waited like not even a month? my husband couldn't contain himself any longer.. and honestly neither could i! everything felt ok, and i had a vaginal delivery!

Kami - posted on 01/18/2010

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With my son we waited about 2 1/2 weeks, there was a little pain, but as long as you take it slow you should be fine. Just do what feels right to you and your body

Janet - posted on 01/18/2010

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If I may be so rude as to ask, to the woman who said she waited seven days, I mean weren't you still bleeding???? My husband and I have had on occasion sex during menstral, but usually really messy and unpleasant odor even showering before hand. Not only that I mean after both my children I bleed, and a lot and messy and not so attractive, not to be rude, but OUCH and EWWWW LOL

Janet - posted on 01/18/2010

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Personally I would wait the six weeks, I mean it is SORE.....I did for both my children, I waited it out. I didn't have any issues, it isn't just the pain it can be infections, - ex. UTI, yeast etc....my Dr. always asked me to wait it out, and I did and I never had any issues. Now I had some friends who didn't, and they had issues such as infections, hurting ripping if cut, etc.....just my opinion!

[deleted account]

i waited till i was like 11 weeks pp an it hurt a little because of me getting cut , i was very afraid to have sex so it took me along time but my one friend she had sex 4 days after she gave birth ,i personally think thats to soon but hey wheneveryou think you will be ready go for it

Nina - posted on 01/18/2010

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Honestly, with my first child we waited the 6 weeks because we were nervous. With our second I think we waited maybe 3 wks. I have been lucky and havent felt any pain the first time after giving birth. My suggestion is to make sure you are well lubricated and take it slow till you are comfortable. Let me also suggest to use birth control because we are now pregnant again. My two youngest will be 10 1/2 months apart. Eeekkk! :-)

Sarena - posted on 01/17/2010

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I waited 7 days. Take your time, make sure you are comfortable and have lubricant on hand. And have fun ;)

[deleted account]

about 3 weeks for me. The six weeks is for you to heal, finish bleeding, and your hormones to level out. If neither of you is bothered by a little spotting (I only bled about 2 weeks so that wasn't an issue), you aren't feeling like a freakish, hormonal, emotional mess, and you don't have a severe tear or episiotomy, then let your instincts guide you. I will recommend plenty of foreplay for additional lubrication, and to keep in mind that what felt good before baby may not feel the same after, and vice versa. Both of you keep an open mind and have a safe word, just in case things move to far too fast.
Congratulations on your baby!

Stephanie - posted on 01/17/2010

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Well we waited the 6 weeks and that day that it was exactly 6 weeks and was my post-delivery check up and my ob/gyn checked me and told me I was good to go!

Michelle - posted on 01/17/2010

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i waited probably about 2weeks if that and i had a c section, we wanted another baby straight away and now ten months has passed and stil not pregnant but hopefully it shouldnt b much longer, if your body feels ok then take it slow if it hurts then stop and try again in a week or so

Jennifer - posted on 01/17/2010

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My first husband was a jerk and only gave me a week to heal...that was very uncomfortable. With my second and third babies, my new, wonderful, husband let me take the time I needed. With my daughter it was about three and a half weeks and almost three with my son. I had natural waterbirths (all babies were almost nine pounds) with out tearing and my midwives told me it was safe when I was ready. The main reason for the six week standard is to prevent infection and insensitive jerks from causing damage. We took things slowly and gently, made sure we were freshly bathed and used condoms to prevent infection and "surprises." There was no discomfort at all...just very satisfying lovemaking!

Brianna - posted on 01/17/2010

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9 weeks, but I had a 3rd degree tear during my delivery because my daughter was sunny side up. Sex was actually "sore" for months after that.

Tara - posted on 01/17/2010

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My 1st girl we waited 5 weeks (I bled heavily up until that point and just wasn't feeling up to it), it felt a little stretchy at first but not painful. My 2nd girl we waited 2 weeks, maybe a little less and it was a little uncomfortable but not hurting (I had a 2nd degree tear with her during delivery, so that might have been why it was a little more uncomfortable). Basically I would wait until you feel you are ready, if you are worried about things, ask your doctor if they feel it would be better for you to hold off.

Elisabete - posted on 01/16/2010

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hi i waited 2 weeks after having each of my babies.iam having number 6 in 2 mths .
as long as your mentally and your body is ready you dont have to wait.doctors just tell you to wait 6 weeks to make sure no infections happen or you fall pregnant again or in case you ahve stitches but your your ready and ou know your partner is clean and your claen and you had no complications you dont have to wait .plus if you ahve a good baby that sleep well adn you have the time there should eb no problems

Crystal - posted on 01/16/2010

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we waited 6 weeks or more we didnt want to have another baby i had a c-section, 2 weeks after having my daughter it got infected were they cut me it worse than the c-section plus i didnt get on birthcontrol until i went for my 6 week check up

Kim - posted on 01/16/2010

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I would wait until the Dr said. You want your cervix to be closed or any tears to prevent infection. If you are nursing it could make you drier, so be prepared with something incase. With my last it took a very long time before it stopped hurting. My episitomy from my first who was 7 started bothering me again. It got a lot better after I stopped nursing.

Maria - posted on 01/16/2010

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I think it is important to give your body as much time as possible to heal. I waited five weeks, but it was a little too soon. Even though I really wanted to have sex, it disrupted the healing process. At six weeks, sex was still uncomfortable, but we took it slow, and didn't have much sex for a long time. It's a bummer, but it's true!

Hella - posted on 01/16/2010

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I think whether or not you tore would make a big difference.

We waited 6 weeks but that was because my partner was overseas and that was when he got back. I had a scheduled c-section (persistent breech) so no vaginal delivery but it still hurt. It was bearable but more painful than usual. It might have also been because it was so long since I had sex ( my partner was overseas for my whole pregnancy).

I agree with everyone's advice of just seeing how you go and doing what you are comfortable with.

Danielle - posted on 01/16/2010

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After my first child I only waited 2 weeks. I was physically okay, but didn't realize at the time, that is when you are most fertile. Guess what happened. After my third baby I waited 5 weeks and guess what happened. I am the proud momma of 4. I definitely advise you to wait the full six weeks and use double protection!

Heather - posted on 01/16/2010

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I waited only until I had finished bleeding after delivery. I did this after the birth of all 3 of my children. My husband and I just discussed that if it hurt we would stop. He was apprehensive, but I wanted to try. Well, no problem after any of the births. I think one of the times it was only about 2 weeks after delivery.

Tracey - posted on 01/16/2010

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Wait a least 6 weeks....u just gave birth, ur body needs time to adjust....doctors say it for a good reason

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