How much does your husband/boyfriend actually help with your children?

Lori - posted on 10/11/2010

My husband recently stayed home from work to watch our two year old all day (included cooking, changing, cleaning, everything) on my Birthday. We all hung out together all day, so I could give him verbal direction on what our son might need, but he had to do all the work. As soon as he got our son down for a nap, he came out of his room and just plopped on the couch. He looked at me and said "I don't know how you do this every day. I am so tired." After that, my husband has helped out even more. Even 30 minutes of alone time will rejuvenate you. Ask your husband to give you that much once or twice a week. Remind him that being a Mom is a 24/7 job...you need breaks just like the rest of the working folks out there. Tell him to imagine doing his job every day all day without a break. Then if you get the chance, turn your phone off and relax - take a long shower,or read, or watch a silly tv show...something that will take your mind off of life for just a bit.

Rose - posted on 10/11/2010

my husband is a truck driver and like me he works his butt off. so when he comes home he also wants his own " break". However, he does tend to let me have a break and takes care of everything including cooking.!! I am spoiled and I know it!!

Chantyl - posted on 10/11/2010

I am right there with you girl. I dont get it. I know that their tired when they get home from work, but were tired too. Our jobs never stop. They miss out on the memories and expierences and thats their loss but its not fair to the kids. I have learned that I have to just enjoy my time having wonderful kids and yeah im always tired but its well worth it. I hope things get better and or you find a way to deal if not :)

Tina - posted on 10/11/2010

I have the exact same problem. In a way I feel sorry for my hubby because he comes home tired from work, so I used to feel guilty about asking him to help out. But you know, doing things for your kids creates bonds. And I seriously need time off to remain sane! So now my hubby has to change and prepare our 9 month old for bed in the evening. It's not too taxing, but helps them interact, and gives me a few minutes off. Let's see how long it lasts.... :)

Kristine - posted on 10/11/2010

Unfortunately my fiancé does not help out to much with our 13 month old son. He spends most of his time sleeping. This is still happening even though he was just laid-off. I have tried talking to him but it has not helped. This unfortunately is leading me towards breaking up with him since if I am not happy in my relationship, then my son will pick up on that and be affected.

Heidi - posted on 10/11/2010

Wow it feels good to know that I am not the only SAHM that goes through this. My husband helps when its convienant for him i.e I'm making him dinner or when I basically have to beg for it. There is occasionally times when he will help without me asking buts its rare and I think he wants something out of it. He does work 6 days a week and 11 hours a day and I so apprieciate what he does but I don't enjoy basically raising our two children age 2 and 7 months by myself. That's not what I got married for. I had to have surgery back in March and he had to have the kids by himself for two nights and afterwards he told me that he doesn't know how I do it everyday, and yet he still feels that he doesn't need to help with anything and gets to go out with friends whenever he wants and I get stuck at home yet another night. I love my children but I've changed as a mom and a women because I feel trapped in my house and I don't get any support, just nasty comments if dishes, laundry, ect isn't done when he gets home. It doesn't help that since I've been a SAHM I haven't had an oppritunity to meet anyone to have girls night out or even play dates( we moved to kansas a year and a half ago). So I have no outlet...

Georgina - posted on 10/11/2010

My husband has been so great since Georgis was born. He never left my side at the hospitaland was eager to learn but was to afriad to do anything with her until she was a week old. I do most of the baby care, but he is a full time student. He worries about the money, rent, food, laundry, and buying baby items. He does help out alot but lately i'v been finding him getting lazy. He'll say " she wants her mommy"... " she wants mommy to feed her".. There is always something when its his turn to feed her in the monring... because i know he wants to lazt around and play on the computer. In the begining it was all down the middle when we brought her home. But now i find myself doing 3-4 feedings in a row.. befor he has his ONE feeding.. then its all on me again. But thats basically the only thing,,,, is her feeding, burping, and trying to put her to sleeep.. oh and cleaning... i do most of the work... but hes a great man... hes keeps care of everythig eles

Alysha - posted on 10/11/2010

my husband dont help me anymore.....he used to but since he is not home much my son dont want nothing to do with him really but i still wish i had help

Samia - posted on 10/11/2010

well i can say that i am very blessed and lucky to have my husband.he works as a cabin crew and travels a lot .he does so much for me and our son he changes for him ,plays with him ,swim with him and makes a lot of things for us.i think you should try to motivate your husband by telling him every detail about your son and make him help you in a very simple things using a very polite and appreciating language and always encourage him even if he did a very little thing .for example :tell him how great he is if he bring you a glass of water,if he could only pass u the remote control of the tv and so on till u reach your aim and let him help you with your son ,tell him to bring your son something like the diaper.the bottle of milk or even get you a jacket for you because you got cold

step by step he will get use to it and he will begin helping you and sharing you in everything.

But always appreciate him and thank him greatly if he does something to you.

all the best to you and your lovely family:)

Ashley - posted on 10/11/2010

My husband tries to help out as much as he can. He's a disabled Vet so there's a lot of things he can't do. He puts our daughter down for naps & bed everyday for me so I can have a little break.

Amina - posted on 10/11/2010

honestly dont expect men to help u they r like dogs u feed them u walk them but when. if u need ur man to help u u need to tell as many times as u can untill they get it. that what i am going through every day. i am not goin to give up i'll ask again again again for one thing to be done he's helpin but .................

Chloie - posted on 10/11/2010

Not a great deal aye unless i am incapacitated for some reason weather i be totally exhausted or sick or the place just gets that bad but he then helps with the house work not so much the kids

Jennipher - posted on 10/10/2010

Sorry my dear thats totally frustrating and i hope he does change as the baby grows older. Men usually are more comfortable with older kids coz they can do stuff together. Get them to do boy stuff that your son loves give him details on all your son's developments and what he would love to do with his father.Good luck ma dear.

Jami - posted on 10/10/2010

Mine helps with our 4 yr old now but didn't at first.. i just had another baby and hes doing the same thing with the 1st.. It aggravates me terribly.. So I have to say he does but he doesn't.... I think hes just nervous about holding babies all together..

Kelli - posted on 10/10/2010

No mine doesnt help at all. I am exhausted all the time

Angel - posted on 10/10/2010

My boyfriend is absolutely amazing it took me two months to heal when our son was born (hes now 15 months old) my boyfriend took care of me and our son and did everything he could to make us both happy. we had a period where he started using the computer and phone alot we split up for 8 months because of it and it broke my heart. we got back together again only to split because he wasnt helping with our son and i still felt he didnt have his priorities right now after having seperated three times we are on the right track he comes home hugs and kisses me and our son and checks to see if he needs a diaper makes dinner if i dont feel up to it and gets whatever our son needs and even tells me to go to bed early if im tired and he will do everything even if it means staying up until 2 am and having to be up at 7am for work. i love him to death and am so blessed to have someone who helps me so much. i think sometimes you have to stand up and do what is best even if it breaks your heart sometimes they need a wake up call. my mom told me guys look at babies as puppies they are fun for the first few months then they get bored unless you make them see they have to keep helping. good luck to everyone who has to do everything 100% of the time ive been there and its so hard to do.

Julie - posted on 10/10/2010

It is unfair that they don't help out more until the kids have passed the forever exhausting baby stage, but on the plus side they will spend a lot more time not being a baby then being one. My husband was terrible about helping out with either of our kids until recently. Now that they are both toddlers he's very interested in helping, teaching, eating with them and even bathing them now that it is more fun then work. So, while it is unfair for them to check out during the baby stage as long as he kicks it into full gear once you have a toddler the more years that go by that he participates fully the more you'll forgive him for not being the parent you already are for your child.

Sandy - posted on 10/10/2010

I can't complain, my hubby helps out the best he can..His very good with kids he takes care of them when he gets back from works, he takes over. I do most of the cleaning and cooking. I;m home all days so of course i do it. But he helps broom, does the dishes some others little things around the house....His a great Dad. =D

Natasha - posted on 10/09/2010

I know what you are going through. When I had my first child my husband wouldnt even dare think about helping me with anything. He would tell me " its the womens job to do the house work and raise the children" im sorry but that is not ok in this world today. It takes 50 50. We have three children now and the only child he has attempt to help me with is the last one. Ok I give my husband props for that one but what about the other two who want to see and play with him. I am at the same position where I feel I raise my three children all on my own and I want to tell you something Im proud of how well I have done. My husband still goes out with friends after work does what ever he wants and I have not had a break since my best friend watched my two older children when I was pregnant with my youngest. Its been over a year now. The only thing that I can tell you is that if you truely love your husband then stick by him and help show him what needs to be done to raise a family. Im trying to do that my self and its going to be hard. I know you are a strong person and can do it!! Good Luck

Chelse - posted on 10/09/2010

My husband doesn't really help either. I mean he does the general grab me a diaper kind of help, but he never takes over with feeding, baths, or bedtime.
I think its a load of crap that he doesn't help, but in some ways I understand. My husband is gone 12 hours a day, so when he does come home he sees that I've got a system set up with our son, he doesn't want to come in and screw that system up. He's scared that if he comes in and messes with things that he'll throw the baby off and it'll cause havoc. Maybe you're husband/boyfriend feels the same. Try talking to him, maybe you can work out a system of your own like once or twice a week he takes the baby for a few hours and gives you some well deserved down time.

Nikki - posted on 10/09/2010

I'm sorry your significant other doesn't help you. Mine is very involved with our daughter. His specific jobs are giving her her night time bottle and brushing her teeth at night. He usually changes her diaper at least once when he gets home from work. We also alternate tubbies. I do the majority of the feeding but he cooks most of the time. And he'll get her out of bed on the weekend at least one of the days. I dress her and put her hair up. He enjoys a good cuddle with her as often as she lets him...lol. You know toddlers! I hope this helps a little. If you need to talk more I'm here for ya!

Kimberly - posted on 10/09/2010

My husband helps 20 % of the time. He comes home, turns on tv, and/or on weekends watches football/baseball. Then when I get on to him, fuss at him, most of the time he gets off his butt and helps, but sometimes he complains because he is home from work and wants a break. So, I let him have it and tell him I need a break b/c I am at home with the kids 24/7 and it is a full time job ! It came down to me leaving him with the kids in order for him to realize that every now and then I need the break. Girl, do what I did and just tell him you are going shopping and he has to watch the kids. That is all you tell him, do not ask.

Rebecca - posted on 10/08/2010

My boyfriend takes care of all financial stuff and will take a night shift every now and then if I ask him to. He's wonderful :)

Amanda - posted on 10/08/2010

All the time..He more involved with them than I would ever expect him to be...Doing chores is a different story lol

Ammie - posted on 10/08/2010

We have 3 children 10month,2year,8year and thats how I see it. "We" have children my partner works over 40 hours a week and every night he comes home he does the children, cleaning and has turns cooking depending on my day and how late he gets home. we both work as a team and with him been a hands on dad he gets to enjoy his children as much as I get to durring the day, he also gets to deal with the hard times the children can give you, so he knows how hard it can be. I wouldnt ask for anything better. he is the best :)

April - posted on 10/08/2010

My husband will help if I ask him to. On occasion he will take it upon himself to do something but I usually have to ask. It kind of annoys me to have to ask. It's obvious to me what needs to be done around the house, why isn't it to him? :-) Will we ever live in a society where the term "woman's work" is no longer implied?

Frances Peaches - posted on 10/08/2010

I also became overwhelmed almost to the point of being burned out. I made it clear that I had to have time to myself in order to care for our 3 children, him and our home. When he comes home I give him time to gather himself then I am off duty. Not to the point that I refuse to help but enough to force him into being proactive. I also had to realize that it wasnt just him who was creating the problem, but by me allowing it I too was at fault. So I joined a gym w/ a daycare to allow myself "uninterupted me time". It took a few weeks of hearing that he just worked all day and me reminding him that I don't get to punch out, but he soon got the hint and it worked out great.

Amanda - posted on 10/08/2010

My husband does & doesn't help me with our 2 children (Trisitan 23mo., Bradyn 4mo.) I guess it really depends on what kind of mood he is in. Like last night I went to a pampered chef party and he watched both boys from 5:30 til their bedtime, and I didn't get home til 12:30am. Was in bed by 1 & the hubs came to bed at 3. He told me he was going to wake up at 6am with our sons but instead decided he did not want to. He even made me make the bottle for the baby last night, and do the feedings (he NEVER does them anyways) On a normal day I wake up at 6am with my oldest son. My husband is still in bed sleeping. Brian wakes up for work and gets home around 4:30pm. During the time he is gone I clean, cook, play and take care of the boys. Brian gets home, Plays with Tristian & Bradyn anywhere from 10-30mintues, it really just depends on how playful he is feeling that day. I try and get dinner started in this time period. (Some days he will come home and clean the living room for me, or start a load of laundry) He gets a shower while I finish dinner (sometimes he will shower both the boys with him so I don't have to do it later that night. I have to stop cooking dinner when he does this though bc I have to get the boys dried off and dressed. We eat dinner as a family. We even stick the baby in his bumbo seat on the kitchen table so he is included. Then my husband gets on his computer or xbox and plays til bed time. I can ask him to make a sippy cup, go see what T wants, make a bottle, change a diaper, and he will do it. And some days after or before dinner we go to the park for an hr. But there are days that I can't get him to lift a damn finger around the house. I read someone else has the problem of their husband not helping when you are trying to get the kids dressed to go out. My husband is the same way. He usually will stand right infront of the tv and i have to run around packing diaper bags and getting the kids dressed and the baby in his car seat. And sometimes I even have to find my husbands clothes for him. On weekends I get stressed fast bc he ALWAYS stays up late playing games with his friends, and I want one, just one day that I dont have to get up before the sun is, and he always says he will let me sleep in and has never :( Another thing that really bothered me was last night (Friday night, I'm in Japan) I went to that party, he called me at 10pm flipping shit asking when was I going to be home. I didn't understand why he wanted me home anyways, the kids were sleeping, he was on his game. If I did go home all I would do is sit and stare at a tv while he played Halo. So, I guess over all, Yes my husband helps me out, but there are somethings I would like to change and some things I would like more help with.

Tonina - posted on 10/08/2010

I hate 2 tell any1 to b a B!#@% but when my kids wer small the first 5yrs i took care of them and my hubby was completely out of touch literally and it was so frustrating bcuz our kids r all stair steps and the last 4 kids wer conceived on birth control 3 dif kinds that obviously didnt wrk and due to complications i couldnt get my tubes tied sooo long story short we hav 6 kids all less then 2yrs apart so they wer all babies at the sametime he would come home watch tv or go to the gym or church or what evr so aftr askin him for a break n him refusin in that "oh i didnt hear u" kinda way i decided 2 take it in 2 my own hands so when he would come home i would wait til he was almost outta the shower b4 he would go bac out stick my head in the door and say hey babe im about 2 run 2 the store or go for a wlk or whatevr then i would wait down stairs til i heard him getin dressed n i would leave stay gone for about 30mins to an hour by the time i would get bac he would b rippin out his hair lol! aftr i got him like that a few times he strtd askin me babe go 4 a walk or sumthin i will keep the kids! i guess the point was i had to let him c how my life was all day long in order for him 2 get that i needed a break and he finally got the point!

Mary - posted on 10/08/2010

My hubby helps but sometimes I do have to ask him or hint that I need help! Men are not mind readers even though they should know you need help...ask him! I also have my hubby get up 1 morning out of every week to take care of our child and this helps me to keep my sanity. He needs to face it....he has a kid(s) now...going out late and staying out is over for both of you...not just you!

Laura - posted on 10/08/2010

My husband helps out, but not as much as I'd like him to. He seems to stay really busy with things that "need to be done" outside or in the garage at night and on weekends. And then when he DOES help, it's a huge deal that I should be thankful for, I guess ;-) Sometimes it's not worth it. I just don't understand why it's all our responsibility?? I don't have any advice, I'm sorry. I would love some, too. We are trying to have a second child and it mostly frightens me because I can hardly handle one, how would I manage two?!! But I don't want our son to be an only child. I'm hoping it gets better. Good luck :-)

Elizabeth - posted on 10/08/2010

my husband is in the army and he is in germany and i got stuck in the states. he missed out on the entire pregnancy and her birth and hes not going to beable to see our daughter until she is almost 4 months old. he has forbidden me to do the dishes and is really excited to be helping out with caring for our daughter!

ACura - posted on 10/08/2010

My husband helps 100% with everything and he works full time and I don't do much due to illness and depression. If my husband didn't help as described above, I would insist on marital counseling or make him leave and go to court for legal separation and reqiure spousal support and tell judge he must pay for the dwelling and get 20 character witnesses in writing and notarized.

Jean - posted on 10/08/2010

My hubby helps out a lot, he used to work in another state from where we lived but now we are in the same state so he comes home and my lil one is ALL over him. He helps with clean up from dinner, he helps in the bath and now potty training. Gets up with him in the Am on weekends to let me get a little more sleep. Takes care of stuff around the house. I am just blessed that he is the way he is, i will admit there are days I am longing for him to entertain the little one so I can hve downtime or I am just plain wiped out and he doesn't see it cause he has his own to do list but not very often does he miss seeing that I am wiped out.

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2010

Whoever said men are sometimes like another child, I very much agree with that. Some men need direction like their mommy gave them growing up. Men can be so oblivious. If my husband was like this I’d sit down with him, TV (or whatever other distraction) off and have a conversation, face to face and tell him how you feel and what you need from him. He is your husband and the father to your children and you need him to be your *partner* in raising this family. Hear what he has to say and go from there.

Juliette - posted on 10/08/2010

I had the same problem. Mind you my first three aren't his and he ahas learnt to love them anyways. I finally broke-down and told him he needed to get more involved. He chose to be with me and knew about my kids. I accepted his three also. I began to tell him what to not ask anymore. I tell him to cook one evening , or watch the kids while I go visiting for an hour. He has began to help alot more and I told him I appreciated it more when he helped instead of just coming home to do nothing and me still do everything plus look after him too.

Ashley - posted on 10/08/2010

Well, my husband works a lot of hours - often 12 hours a day. He either gets up barely in time to get ready and just has time to sit with our son for a few minutes before leaving or gets home after he goes to bed. On the one day he has off he plays with him or takes him to the park while I go to yoga. Once in a while he comes home about 7 and I make him spend time with us. That's it. But over the years (my son is almost 4) I've had really bad health problems and he's helped me a lot. If he needs to he is there. If he is jumping in the shower at night and my son is up, he takes him with him. If he goes somewhere to his friends house and my son is up, he takes him. When I was sick he did everything he could to help me including laundry, baths, feeding, baths, etc. Honestly, I get very tired, I get worn out, but it's my job. I stay at home and get to see my son all day. Yes, I need a break sometimes too. Yes, at the end of the day I feel like tearing my hair out. But I chose to make this my job - and I feel like I need to step up and do it. I do the best I can and I let the rest go.

Crystal - posted on 10/08/2010

Wow I read a lot of these posts about all the helpful husbands out there and it left me sitting here in shock! I just like you girl, although my husband doesn't leave..He doesn't help to much, he works 6-7 days a week 10-12 hours a day so I totally understand that, but sometimes I need to just walk by myself or nap for 45mins. by myself or just have help with the kids (3 years and 9 months) so I'm just like you, I don't a lot of help either. My hubby will help but I have to ask..or tell lol..and he'll get his butt up and help but he won't do it just to be nice, like let me sleep in on his day off in 9 months he has NEVER let me sleep in..So don't feel bad their women out there like you although now its seems like how in the world did we get so lucky lol..cause all these other woman's husband are extremely helpful, yall are lucky! :)

Donna - posted on 10/08/2010

my hubby is a little like this and ladies, it frustrates the hell out of us! i tried the whole, "leave his things and eventually he will do it" approach but doesnt work. ive learnt that you need to ask, ask ask. or more tell! they are men afterall. they think that they should be mothered their whole lives. NEWSFLASH: it doesnt work that way anymore! my hubby has the whole 1920's outlook that the man works and the women stay at home. BS! and the fact that he even has that outlook drives me insane. he will help with the kids when he has to but wont offer to do anything or take the initative.when im ready to blow a fuse he knows its time to get off his ass and do something but its annoying that i have to get to that point. every man/relationship is different and you just need to figure out what works best for you guys. but assign certain things to him and he might surprise you. i swear, its like having another child! sheesh!

Ashley - posted on 10/08/2010

Well my husband doesn't like to do the "dirty things" such as changer her butt or feeding her but he will hold her for hours on end sometimes and play with her because he adores her. Sometimes I think he would be fine if I weren't here and it was just him and her. lol :p
I don't have any advice on how to get your husband to be more involved though. Mine has been wrapped around my little girls finger since the first time he held her.

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2010

My husband has issues that are hard for me to deal with, but when it comes down to it, he has always been helpful.



He works, I do not. He cooks, I don't know how to cook, but I like to bake and he doesn't so it works out. He likes taking us places on the weekends if he feels up to it. He helped change diapers, got up with crying babies in the middle of the night and still gets up when our daughter wakes up crying or if the new puppy has to go pee at 2 or 3 or whatever hour in the morning. I have been pretty lucky with his help. I know plenty of other women who are not so lucky.



Our marriage is far from perfect. We fight, we disagree, we are stubborn. He’s not always the best dad or husband, but he’s faithful to us and provides. When he thought he might be laid off, he said he’d work two or three crappy jobs to make up for it if he needed to. I know a family who’s husband lays tile for a living, but with the economy, has very few jobs these days and the family is suffering because he refuses to get a lower paying job until his trade picks up again. The SAHM went out and got a job at a dry cleaner working 10 hours a day, 6 days a week to bring in some income. Their story just makes me more thankful for the husband I have!



He does help me clean the kitchen, but I do pretty much all the other household chores, and I am okay with that. I’d rather be home doing chores than away from home working!



I got a little carried away from the question, sorry!

Angela - posted on 10/08/2010

Im amazed at how many husbands sound like jerks. No offence and this is to no one in particular I just cant believe that men, that are fathers and husbands, dont play the role, or dont even try to. Ladies it is a new age! Things are not supposed to be like this anymore, our partners are supposed to love us and willingly give us a break, not come home and sit down with a bag of chips! Im sorry for all of you that have to deal with that. I did it for 2 years and finally I had to leave him. He would play video games all the time, rather than spend time with his child. He would come home from work and yell at me if the house wasnt perfect. He would NEVER help me with anything. I would walk on eggshells, so as not to upset him. That is NO way to live. I did it for far longer than I should have. SInce I left him, I met Evan, my fiance, and he is the way every man should be.

ElisaBeth - posted on 10/08/2010

Mine was great in the hospital helping out, but when we got home he didn't really do much, (honestly you could tell he was terrified to touch the baby because of how small he was) but my best friend and mother was staying with us to help out. My mother stayed six weeks, and after she left my SO didn't realize that I needed help for a week or two until I got mad and handed him the baby one night and just went upstairs... Now he does help out, even though he works 60 + hrs. I don't mind if he comes home and gets on the computer (most of it is his online college anyway) as long as he talks to me and will stop what he is doing to help with our son if I'm busy doing something else... but on the weekends he is SUCH a big help; I should probably tell him that :)

Celissa - posted on 10/08/2010

My husband works 10 hour days, four days a week. He usually leaves at 4am and gets home around 4pm. By the time he gets home I'm very ready for a break! On the days he works he takes over the duties somewhat when he gets home. He plays with our son and feeds him, or what ever he needs. At 6 or 6:30 we give him a bath and put him to bed. We split that up into two tasks, bathing and then putting away all of the baby's things (our living room looks like a play room at the end of the day) and dressing. Who ever gets him dressed makes him a bottle while he's taking a bath for when he gets out, and once he's dressed one of us feeds him and the other reads a story. We switch back and forth on those bedtime duties, but that's about how our baby's care is split up when my hubby gets home from work. On the weekends it varies, but usually he changes diapers and I make bottles and we both play with him throughout the day, and then bedtime routine is the same.

I try not to really ask him to do anything on days he works, since I do stay home, but he does them on his own. He always has. My husband is 29 and he's wanted a baby for a very long time, so he's very excited to be a daddy and likes to do as much as he can.

Tina - posted on 10/08/2010

Nope not at all! Im lucky if I can get him to pick up after himself let alone help out with one of the kids. It is very frustrating!! And he gets angry if I bring it up so I just keep being a mommy and a wife and deal.

Alison - posted on 10/08/2010

I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM MINE COMES IN AN SITS ON THE SOFA AN GOES 2 SLEEP AN IF I ASK 4 HELP HE STORMS OUT IN A MOOD

Jodi - posted on 10/08/2010

Sara, I'm so sorry you don't get more support because you really do need it. I'm 1 of the lucky ones in that my husband does so much with our daughter (who's 17 months old.) He's the 1 who gives her a bath because it's too hard for me to bend over for an extended period of time due to back problems from a car accident. He's also the 1 who puts her to bed most nights since he hasn't seen her all day.
I think you need to sit your husband down (not when you're really mad that he's been out or that he hasn't been helping) & tell him that you really need his help with your son & with things around the house. Maybe he thinks you have it all under control & you don't want/need his help. I find it frustrating to ask my husband for help getting our daughter something to eat or to get her dressed when he knows as well as I do that those things need to be done, but sometimes you just have to ask. My husband will always help me when I ask him to. GOOD LUCK!

Clara - posted on 10/08/2010

my daughter is almost two (next month omg time flies) i have yet to see any help come from him....I dont bother to ask him cause he gets super pissed off and it ends up being a fight...like today she woke up a hour before i did he's been on his gaming all night since he slept all day yesterday..anyway back to my point...i'm sick, i tried to get up but couldnt as much as i tried....he didnt change her diaper nor did he give her breakfast till i was able to force myself up and did it myself....yea if you figure something out let me know 2 years i've only had 4 breaks and that was only because she was down for the night and he didnt have to do anything other than make sure the house didnt burn down. now i dont even get that

Amy - posted on 10/08/2010

I am amazed at how many of the husbands listed on here help so much. Mine is much like yours, and we have 4 children with the oldest being 4. He will occasionally watch one or two while I run to the grocery store for a couple little things so I do not have to have them all with me. He does not do anything with them then, just keeps them from killing themselves or tearing the house down. The three older ones are all special needs children, and need lots of attention. Yet he seldom does anything and is usually annoyed if I ask for help with them. This leaves me to cook for 6 people, clean the house, watch the kids and care for them, and entertain him when he is home. He has not worked in months and is gone a lot to hang out with friends. If you come up with any way to get this fixed, let me know. My husband is doing the same things, TV ,computer or gone til very late. Sorry to not have any advice, but wanted to let you know you are definitely not the only one out there.

Elizabeth - posted on 10/08/2010

Sara, I'm here with you. My husband gets up at 11am, goes to work at 2pm until midnight. Every once in awhile I can get him to watch Zo for an hour or two if I'm so tired I can't see straight. Otherwise we're on our own. And when he does watch her... he sticks her in her swing the entire time and then yells at her when she cries and fusses. So... he won't read to her, feed her, play with her, nothing. He'd rather sit on the computer the entire time. I was really really sick and needed him to calm her down while I heated her bottle. That's all I wanted and he wouldn't even do that. UGH! He doesn't help with housework, unless he needs clothes and then he does his own. He'll pick out his stuff and leave everything else. And if he does get in the mood the clean all he does it bitch about everything I don't do all day and how lazy I am... even though he is the one making messes a lot of the time! I'm praying for the day that he's a little more interested in his family.