how much time does your spouse spend alone with the kids?

Breanna - posted on 06/23/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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so me and my fiance have an interesting relationship, i wont delve into that right now. anyways everything is great, our daughter is 19 months old, and i like to think she is advanced for her age. thats besides the point, i just started daycare, only 2 days a week and for only four hours in the morning so that i can do something for myself, and re-develop my personality. since i feel like i am a spouse, and mother, but not a person anymore!

he works a 9-5, sometimes more. and he is an amazing father, and really does try to help me with her. but i feel like even with his help he really is never ALONE with her. alone trying to clean, alone trying to do laundry, trying to grocery shop ect...

so my question is, is it selfish of me to want him to spend more time alone with her, even now that i have daycare? i dont think so, and if anyone has a regular daddy alone time schedule they go by, i would like to hear it!
thanks!

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Lisamarie - posted on 06/24/2012

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My husband is alone with our children a lot. Every few weeks I go out shopping or for a meal with my mum and sister and he watches the children. I've been away for the weekend while he looked after them.
I don't think it's selfish at all, have you asked him to watch them for an hour before? Or is it that he hasn't offered? Sit him down and have a chat with him, he might surprise you. :-)

Amanda - posted on 06/23/2012

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I don't think it's selfish. I think kids need one on one time with their fathers as well as with their mothers. They need that time to bond an build relationships.

My hubby doesn't get much alone time with the kids, but on occassion when he is home he will take them while I run a few errands or go to the gym. On friday he had both the kids while I enrolled my son in school.

Unless men take the role of a stay at home father I don't think, with exception of a few, they will ever do grocery shopping, cooking or cleaning alone with kids under their feet.

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Kiki - posted on 06/26/2012

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I have 3 ages 8, 7, and 4, there dad never spends time with them and I'm so depressed because he is so selfish. He would rather hang around his friends doing whatever, while I stay home and take care of all of them. He does not pay bills like he is suppose to, he claims that he is working rarely comes home, and not to mention he barely calls and I'm just completely fed up! Well actually I've been fed up but I don't know what to do, I feel so trapped. I can't call my family to help there are completely absorbed in their own lives and always have been. I thought that I would be getting some relief when my daughter starts pre-school, but today I found out that due to budgeting consgtraints I would not possibly be able to enroll her. I'm so angry I'm crying, I could barely even type. What is a woman to do in this wicked society, how come their trying to push Universal Healthcare how about Universal Childcare...life has sucked for me since I met their loser dad, but I'm just trying trying to keep my head up and hope for the best.

Danielle - posted on 06/24/2012

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Not selfish at all! Why should we have to do all the work? all they do is take care of themselves, while we have to take care of ourselves, the kids, and them sometimes! It's not right. I'm trying to start some daddy daughter time, it hasn't worked well so far.

Brianna - posted on 06/24/2012

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im a stay at home mom and my hubby works alot. he doesnt have alot of alone time with her. sometimes on his days off he will let me sleep in and he will have some alone time with her. other than that he doessnt really have much alone time with her unless maybe if i have a appointment to go to but i usually plan appts to be in the afternoon during nap time

Bethany - posted on 06/23/2012

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my husband's been completely alone with our 3 year old daughter a couple of times. I went away for an overnight hen's night about a year ago, sat. morning to sun afternoon. Other than that, it's an hour here an hour there. I go out on the last wednesday of the month to meet other mums for pancakes and a chat. It's 'bookclub' but sometimes we forget to talk about books.

He takes her out with him on the weekend, to the store or the hardware store and lunch if I'm not up to it. It's usually a family day, shopping day, with all 3 of us, but sometimes I just say, I'm not going and have a nice quiet morning.

He'll have her by himself this December while I'm in hospital after having out next baby, so that will be at least 4 days straight, and that will be the longest. He's a pretty tidy person who likes to do things properly, and I know he knows all he needs to know about my routine. If he doesn't , it's on the fridge, my daily routine, based on flylady.net, and her weekly things are on the calendar.

It'll get easier for you as she gets older, playing by herself, etc.

Kelly - posted on 06/23/2012

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its not selfish ov you at all for you to want your other half to spend alone time with your daughter, he maybe not even relise this. maybe if you talk to him about it he may relise. we have 3 children and to be fair we dont have alone time with the kids as we just do it as a family but just mention this to him and see whats happens.

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