How to get husband to Romance me? Without telling him too...?

Alisha - posted on 07/11/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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So I have been married for almost 6 months and my husband has never been romantic. I want to get him to feel like he can romance me without me telling him ideas and such. I want him to want romance me not me ask for it. Anyone have ideas what I can change about my actions?

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I've been married 5 yrs to the most unromantic man in the world. I hate to say it but there honestly is no way to hint to men lol! Blunt is the only way they will truely know how you feel and what you expect or would like. My husband tries very hard to please me and when i tell him I want romance he will wait a few weeks and then one night suprise me with ideas I gave him or ones he thought of himself!

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Stacey - posted on 06/23/2013

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My husband is romantic I just never get that. He wants something and I am willing to give it to him because I am curious too and would like to try it but I need to know that there is only he and I in our marriage and not he, I and always someone else in the bedroom. I like role playing don't get me wrong but sometimes just knowing that I am the only one he wants would be nice after all I am his wife. I just feel so lonely in this area alot because of it getting in the way.

Laura - posted on 07/12/2011

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it's true. Unromantic men need to be told unfortunately. My husband made the mistake of showing me he can be romantic when we were dating. 3 years of marriage now, and I'm still waiting for that romance to come back! It sounds so petty, but I made a little list of things I'd love for him to do for me, and he has that stored away. So if ever he does something from that list, it's sort of a surprise now if he does something and it's like I didn't have to ask.

Michelle - posted on 07/12/2011

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I am very lucky Brianna :-).
This is my 2nd marriage though. My first husband didn't even know what romantic meant! lol. I knew what I didn't want and found the right one when I had given up looking.

Brianna - posted on 07/12/2011

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wow sounds like your very lucky to have such a great hubby michelle w

Michelle - posted on 07/12/2011

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If he hasn't been romantic up until now then he probably isn't the romantic type and you will need to tell him what you want.
You may need to tell him quite a few times before he can think of things by himself.
My Husband and I have 3 children and he always treats me like a princess. He tells me every day that I'm gorgeous and he loves me. He cuddles me and gropes my behind (because he can) every day. Every now and then he will bring me flowers and the reason is usually "I haven't for a while".
You need to sit down and explain what you would like but also ask him if there is anything he would like. Maybe arrange a date night, get a sitter for the kids and go to dinner or the movies. Hold hands and show affection.
He may think it's hard being spontaneous with kids.

Natasha - posted on 07/11/2011

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No alisha your fine my husband works like a slave there in nothing wrong with romance me and my husband have 3 kids together and we recetly realized that we let routine burn out the romance so just sit down talk to him try and make one night out of the month at least for the both of you 1 child is tough so 3 is harder and I understand you completely you guys just need to discuss this and try and spark it back up, both of you should think about eachother equally don't give up hope we all need a little romancing it is normal. I had the same problem I thought I should think about him more maybe I was being selfish and focus on him more but it might be both of you.

Alisha - posted on 07/11/2011

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It sounds dumb now that I am thinking about it I should just stop thinking about me and more about him...

Alisha - posted on 07/11/2011

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I guess what I mean is that I want to be romanced like take me on a surprise picnic with wine just the two of us. Or a evening where sex is not an option just us and candles... I want to feel like I am his well his princess or prom date... I know I should give him a bit more credit I mean he does work all the time and we have three kids between the two of us.

Brianna - posted on 07/11/2011

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i wish my hubby would do the same thing! yesterday was our 1 year wedding anniversary and i didnt get so much as a card... yet i got him a present! my sister that i only see 3 times a year is down visiting and brought down her new boyfriend and we were planning on going to the city for 1day and night with them (for are anniversary to even though it was yesterday but my hubby works until thursday) but tonight my hubby was like y do
we need to go blah blah blah... im sooo frustrated! i was sooo looking forward to going so he better not back out like hes trying to! i never get anything for birthday,xmas, mothers day, anniversary ect! and i never complain but i always get him something thoughtful and it breaks my heart that he doesnt do anything for me,, (nothings worse than xmas morning when ur the only one not opening a present..)

Natasha - posted on 07/11/2011

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He is not the romancing type my husband really isn't either i had to tell him a few times and once in a blue he does, so you might have to speak up. If not make yourself an outfit out of whip cream or be his dinner plate and let the good times role! :) if he like a sport put his jersey on be his fantasy make him want to romance you but if he's like most men youll have to tell him, because all that stuff I just said your still romancing him. LOL Hope that helps!

Teresa - posted on 07/11/2011

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Maybe you should romance him to get things started. Do things you know he would enjoy whether it be sexual/physical or something else. Sometimes our love inspires a man!

Nayuribe - posted on 07/11/2011

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haha!! if i had any ideas on how to do that, i would have implemented them myself a LONG time ago, been with my bf for almost 6 ys and we missed out the romance part cuz i got pregnant after 1 y of dating, then had another kid 2 yes later, so we don't have time for romance.LOL

GOOD LUCK!!!

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