Husband keeps complaining he doesn't get enough sex

[deleted account] ( 36 moms have responded )

My Husband keeps complaining that he doesn't get enough sex. Ever since I had our children (I have a 2 half year old and a 19 month old) my sex drive has diminished. We are having sex around 4-5 times a week and it still isn't enough for him. He wants it a few times a day. Most of the time I either want to sleep or just take some time to myself while the kids are sleeping. Before we had the kids, my sex drive was nearly on par with his. He just doesn't seem to understand where I'm coming from. Any advice moms?

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Brandy - posted on 07/28/2010

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I've used some homeopathic solutions to help boost Libido and they work wonders. They are all natural so there are no bad side effects and fairly cheep, you can even use them if you are breastfeeding. Try Newton Homeopathics.

Priya - posted on 07/27/2010

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Oh gosh....its a difficult situation here. Husbands here must be more concern about their wives as they are busy with their kids all day. Wives are super woman all the days, guys! Having sex 4-5 time a week is so so so good. Its more than enough. Understanding, give and take policy is very important between husband and wife relationship. Sex, do get the relationship closer and stronger but.....its not everything for that relationship. I think you have to sit and talk to your husband in a manner and if this persist...get a doc for an advise.

Shellee - posted on 06/16/2011

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tell him to suck it up and be a real man. 4-5 times is a lot! hell my husband and i dont do it that much. maybe you would be interested if he helped out more. like gives a day to yourself that should help you both out. :)

Lydia - posted on 07/27/2010

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dear stay at home moms... talk less kiss more... take a shower, put some nice clothes on, put some make up before hubby comes home from work and let the romance revive!!!! (i write this to myself as well...)

it is so easy to get lazy about this once your home all day long... so do some effort to get out of it. it's not just for your hubby its good for you too!!!

Ella - posted on 07/26/2010

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While I have no recommendations for you aside for talking to your husband, I would not suggest you watching pornos. While the bed, that is between a husband and wife, is undefiled pornography brings other people into your bed and sex life and is therefore is labeled adultery. The Bible says that to look upon another with lust in your heart is adultery which is what pornography does. Pornography is not only addictive but it can also heighten the sex drive to a point that the spouse may not be able to live up to. I hope that in talking to your husband you both can reach some type of compromise on pleasing each other without tiring the other out. Good luck.

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Laura - posted on 06/16/2011

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4-5 times a week your lucky at least your husband still desires you in that way and wants to share such an intimate experience with you. your blessed ,my dear I tell ya if my husband would have sex with me just half as much as your husband does I would be so lucky myself. I do however see where your coming from its hard to feel sexy and get in the mood after you've been cooking and cleaning all day and its even harder to make your husband understand and see where your coming from...maybe you should make a list of everything you do for one day and see what he says after you give it to him 0or make him switch with you for the day and than he will see where your coming from,

Laura - posted on 06/16/2011

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4-5 times a week your lucky at least your husband still desires you in that way and wants to share such an intimate experience with you. your blessed ,my dear I tell ya if my husband would have sex with me just half as much as your husband does I would be so lucky myself. I do however see where your coming from its hard to feel sexy and get in the mood after you've been cooking and cleaning all day and its even harder to make your husband understand and see where your coming from...maybe you should make a list of everything you do for one day and see what he says after you give it to him 0or make him switch with you for the day and than he will see where your coming from,

Stifler's - posted on 07/28/2010

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Ours is the other way around. I want the sex and he's like NO blah blah blah all you think about is sex.

Lindie - posted on 07/27/2010

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I would like to know what these people who are having sex all day long are doing besides having sex?? does either parent work? who's watching the kids while you're having sex? If you think sex is important in you relationship then you be in a dissapointment later down the line. And please don't confuse intimacy with sex they are not the same, at all!

Lindie - posted on 07/27/2010

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Your hubby needs to see a doctor, that kind of sex drive is unnatural!! 4-5 times a week in most peoples books is good going before children!!

Sarah - posted on 07/27/2010

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Maybe he is going through something stressful in his life? Sex is a way for men to release tension...Just try talking to him. Also is sex a way of connecting, and feeling wanted by you...If he is feeling rejected he will want it more.

Mais - posted on 07/27/2010

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Actually I have The other side from this problem i am married 1 year and a half. and i have baby boy 5
month old. before the kid we were had sex 3 times in the week. but after the delivery he is not asking for sex really much ,, i have to do something to attract his attention. we r do it one in a week or sometimes once in 2 weeks ...
any advice ?!?!?!
is there any danger of our marrige ?? coz we r still young!!

Kathleen - posted on 07/26/2010

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Wow! What does he do all day that he has time for love making 2 or three times a day? Or is he just worried about his own satisfaction and not taking the time to make sure you are well satisfied each time? I would recommend a long conversation and some role reversal. He needs to do everything that you do for about a week. Then he might be able to see why you are so tired and stessed. Love making requires effort that sex does not require. As to moms only managing that connection once each week or even once each month, I would suggest that you try a bit harder. Marriage is about lots of things but intimacy is KEY.

Candice - posted on 07/26/2010

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my god..4-5 tmes a week is heaaaaps! We have it once a month if that! or a few times a month when baby trying

Tara - posted on 07/26/2010

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tell him to kiss you ass! He will never get where you are coming from and what YOU do all day! When the kids go to bed sometimes it nice to not have to fend off someone else after being hung on all day by the kids!

[deleted account]

Maybe you can explain to him things that would make you WANT to have it more?

I don't understand couples that only have sex 2-3 times a month?! My husband && I have sex 3-5 times a DAY && we have a 13 month old.

Sex is a VERY good stress release, specially for moms. It give you that bonding that you once had before your child that created your child.

I can honestly say that it has made our relationship so much stronger because we can express ourselves to each other vocally, physically, emotionally, mentally.

Jane - posted on 03/30/2010

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well, ladies, i dont know what to think about all this....yall are way to young to be feeling this way....yes, it is very important to have sex with your hubby, at least a couple times a week...it is not only about sex, but about emotional connection....it is part of the marital relationship that is the most special.....but anyway, i am 48, and hubby is 56.....we have our 3 granbabies, 5, 4, 2.......had 2 yr since she was 4 wks old......i know all tooo well about beint tired......but let me tell you, it dont end......hubby still complains he dont get enough....when he is home, it is pretty much every nite.....sometimes twice a day....i dont always feel up to it, cause im so tired, but i take a nice bath, get in bed and cuddle, and when we are finished, get a great nites sleep.....sleep is always better afterwards....also, it helps to produce serotonin, which helps with depression which is so very common after having a baby....belive me, i had 3 kids, and 2 step kids......it was times when things seemed really crazy.....but it shall all pass....just be careful, you dont want to wake up one day a single mom.....figure out ways to have date nites, ways to text or email sexy notes to each other durring the day to build excitement.....that way yall will feel more in the mood when he does get home....ladies, it is not good for you or your hubby or your marriage.....

Faith - posted on 03/29/2010

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BTW my hubby wouldn't know what to do with himself if he got it more than 3x in a wk anymore, LOL!

Faith - posted on 03/29/2010

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Hon, you need to introduce him to Fascinations. You too if its the actual sex drive aspect. Honestly though the over-riding fact to all this is probably you need to get some sleep. Tell him to give you some you time and things will get back to "normal." I feel the same way, when the older 2 are quietly playing and the 4 month old baby is sleeping I just want to try to relax, catch a nap on the couch, shower or even *gasp* possibly eat an adult oriented snack and catch a few mins of tv that isn't spongebob or the like. lol! Definetly try telling him to take the kids to the park or the store for about an hr or so and relax yourself, then tell him you'll trade off and put the kids down for a nap after he's worn them out, and have some steamy time :)

Kandace - posted on 03/29/2010

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ok we had sex twice a day when i first moved in but his ex had their child( they split up when he was one month old and we got together when he was two months) but as soon as his son was at home we went to once a day. and now we have another child so with a two year old and a 3 month old were lucky to have sex 3 times a week and other times we will go two weeks with out having sex. but i will admit we both have higher drives than that and manually take care of it when were apart.

Jessica - posted on 03/29/2010

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Oh, honey, men never get it as much as they want it!
My hubby and I are lucky if we have sex once a week! We have a 6 year old and a 7 month old. I'm tired, I don't really like my body right now, and often don't even think about having sex. BUT, sex is good for us and we need to make the time. At least that's what I tell myself!!

Heather - posted on 03/29/2010

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thats good my husabdn gets it like 1time every 2to3 weeks but i also have a 4yr old and a 2yr old and a 1yr old i'm tried and mine complains alot about not gettin any

Melanie - posted on 03/29/2010

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dude needs to count his lucky stars! 4 or 5 times a week is pretty high. Poor you. LOL

Stef - posted on 03/29/2010

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My husband and I have one child who's 15 months. I am the same way my sex drive is diminished also. Me and my husband only have sex 1-2 a week. And he is always complaining I don't give it up enough. My mind is always on other things like cleaning, laundry or caring for our son. I just have time to think about having sex.

Jamie - posted on 03/29/2010

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LOL Oh my a few times a day meaning more than 2 Is your husband a stay at home dad does he work from the home? men are fact minded if this is the case then tell him to schedule the times he wants to make love and get the baby sitters for those times plus 1 hr before so you have time so you can relax and get ready for him and then you can be as spontaneous as he wants... try it

Bobie - posted on 03/29/2010

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WHAT!?!?!?! ur having sex 4-5x a week & ur hubbys still complaining??? i wonder what hes gonna do if he is my husband? i totally dont want to have sex ever since i gave birth 8 months ago... we only get to have sex like ONCE A MONTH..hows that? & thats only if i really have to push myself to do it... i dont know what happened...if theres something wrong with me..but my sex drive made a major dive downwards...

[deleted account]

My husband and I have always had a good sex life - before, during and after pregnancy we have had sex usually once a day without fail...except for the 2 weeks after birth as I had stitches. I'm a stay-at-home mum and my hubby works full-time mon-fri so to be honest we havn't really got time for sex more than once a day anyways. Does he work? As others have said explain to him how you feel and basically he needs to get his priorities right!!! He should be grateful for what sex he gets the ungrateful sod! Some men/women go out with it completely and 4-5 times a week is a lot of sex...he needs to realise he's not a teenager anymore he's a dad with responsiblitys and needs to get his head out of his pants basically!

Elizabeth - posted on 03/29/2010

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haha you still have sex more than some of use. To be honest tell him what's on your mind. we have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 6 month old and i am that SAME way... We still have sex, it's just not as often as before we had kids. And he is okay with it cause I told him how I felt and he understands.

Just tell him, because just about all woman are like this, even after your first it starts to decrease, but it will come back when your kids are in school and you have a minute. Right now you are over worked, over whelmed and just need a break

Chesnie - posted on 03/29/2010

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Wow..my husband would be in heaven if we had sex 4-5 times a week. We do at least once a week and even then its a struggle for me! we only have one child between us but I have 0 desire for sex, none, nada, zilch! I do it to keep him happy mainly and try to keep connected but of course its not like it was pre-baby!! He should understand, but its a guy thing. they dont go through with what we do on a reg basis. They go to work about 8 hrs, can go drinking with their friends after work, etc...and we are still home working our bums off til bedtime, then its up the next morning to do the same thing over.. sorry

Gemma - posted on 03/29/2010

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my god.tell him to leave you alone! if hes doing his share of the work he's still lucky to get any at all. i know that wasn't advice and im sorry but you dont need that when you're a busy mum! x

Lorna - posted on 12/09/2009

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wat?? that's like more than what my husband get's, and he works oversea's so here's here only for a month. You can tell him that you get tired alot sinc your a stay home mom. The guys may thing it's easy for a stay home mom, but for me it's not. You have to be home 24/7 with your kids and only get lucky once in awhile if u have some one to watch your kids. You can also tell him if the kids are awake that it's akward that the kids are home and awake. Cause if my husband wants to have sex and esp both my kids knows how to open the door, I tell him no cause wat if the kids see's it. Some kids do remember, and my kids are 3 1/2 boy and 22 months lil girl. I know my son remembers stuff and i dont wanna be having sex and get caught by my kids. (just my opinion) Dam even when my kids are asleep at night i just most times still dont feel like it and/or wake my kids and get caught. since my son woke up one night and basically caught us. so i never want that to happen again... plus u need ur rest too.

Krissi - posted on 12/09/2009

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Dont ignore him. There is someone out there waiting to fulfill his needs! Just keeping it real. I had the same problem and I had to pray, get counseling and hear his side and really listen. Men have needs and so do we. Maybe you could give him oral sex if you don't feel like putting your whole self into it(lack of energy) or you could watch pornos together and help him masturbate. The bedroom is undefiled. Do what you have to to keep your marriage strong.

Renae - posted on 12/09/2009

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Opps, I just realised if you are American then "fanny" means "bottom". In Australia "fanny" means the other part. So my final paragraph might come across a bit wrong. Just thought I should clarify! LOL

Renae - posted on 12/09/2009

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Ok here is the truth. Most couples don't even have sex every week. In fact on average most couples have sex a couple of times a month.

4-5 times a week is actually VERY high.

I am dumfounded that he wants it a few times a day, are you SERIOUS????!!!! He has a seriously high sex drive! Has he always been like that? The male sex drive peaks at 19 years of age and then slows down a little and then peaks again in middle age. Did his sex drive never slow down??

If he really needs "relief" a few times a day, he needs to do it on his own. Get him a fake fanny made of rubber if you have to! Noone can be expected to keep up with that, that is crazy. I have heard lots of marital problems where husbands dont get enough sex but they are usually getting it once a month, I have never heard a man complain about 4-5 times a week.

Tara - posted on 12/09/2009

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Has he had to take care of the kids for a full day by himself yet? If not, you might want to give him a taste of what you have to do on a daily basis - he might not understand the level of tiredness you have right now. Both my husband and I have strong sex drives, but between work, life and 2 kids (20 months and 2 months old) sometimes we just can't get to the same level we did before kids. What we do is make sure we have time for each other and cuddling, and fit in some quality sex when we can - it's not quantity it's quality that counts, especially with sex :)

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