Hyper Active Child..need some advice

Emmie - posted on 03/12/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Okay so I have been getting some awesome advice from everyone about my son and his sleeping and potty training..Which we are going to try everything everyones recommended..The thing is Last night my fiance and I both sat down with our son, to try and play with his V Tech games with him..But he just wont stay calm..He has NEVER been calm ever..That conserns me. His attention just doesnt stay focused on something. And I know hes a little boy believe me hes all boy. But you know we were trying to teach him what buttons were what and he did good for the first 2 minutes, then he starts going crazy pressing all the button hard and fast like spasing out big time. And I tried to read him a book last night and I couldnt get passed the fiirst page before he got up started jumping on the bed and yelling,..I really want to start him on flash cards and stuff for his colors and shapes but he doesnt stay focused long enough... He really doesnt listen especially to me I dont spank often bc When I do spank or correct him he Laughs at me. Same for his daddy he fusses and corrects but my son just doesnt care hes not scared at all. And his tantrems Im not sure how to handle them anymore, you cant imagine what he does, he kicks screams hit people, bangs his head against the wall the floor, And like I said I know hes only 2 and hes a little boy, but should I be concerned for his behavior? And if I should talk to some one about all this Who? I dont think a pediatrician can help much on behavior....I love my son so much hes not a bad child hes a wonderful and funny kid..Its just when things dont go his way then thats when it gets bad and its hard to take him out in public places We cant take him to the park without him trying to run off or screaming so loud we look like bad parents We just want to be able to do more with him We are not the kind or ppl who resort to spanking or really hard disaplining. I went through it as a child and so did my fiance, I would never do it to my son.. Thanx guys for taking the time to help

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Melissa - posted on 03/15/2010

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I didn't read the other post but as former second grade teacher we never talked about behavioral problems and ADHD until kids were about 8. Most children don't have an attention span more than their age (2years-2 mins) But from my experience most kids will behave according to your expectations. With a hyperactive child you really need to lay down the law -meaning being very clear about your expectations. If your child misbehaves you need to explain that the behavior is unacceptable then you have to disapline or this behavior is going to get completely out of control. Disapline doesn't mean spanking though. My daughter would laugh at us too so we had to find other ways of disaplining. We took away her favorite things, made her sit in timeout in her room on the end of her bed out of our site -we were right outside the door for awhile till she learned to stay there. We wouldn't let her get away with anything unacceptable and now we don't have nearly as many problems. I think it's b/c she was testing us to see what she could get away with. And it's not to late to be a little harder on him and it might not last a long time. Some kids have a strong will to do what they want and you have to teach them that they can't do what ever they want. (I know you know this -You just have to keep it in mind) Remember he is very "me" centered right now so he thinks the world revoles around him. Your Ped. probably could help. Also, remember your childs behavior and choices does not reflect whether or not you are a good parent. I knew some people that were great parents and their daughter rebelled and rebelled against them to the point they almost got divorced. When she grew up she turned out to be a really nice young lady -hard headed- but really a good person. Don't lose hope or your cool. You may want to read some parenting books to get some good ideas about how to best disapline. I know there is one called "Bringing up Boys" Good luck -and remember your not alone. We're here if your having a bad day! Good Luck and remind your child he is a good boy and that you love him. If he is acting poorly tell him his behavior is bad not him. Disapline Sucks! Hang in there!

Sylvia - posted on 03/15/2010

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I have 3 childern, and and my 2 sons both have ADHD. When they were little I did'nt know that there was anything wrong, I thought that they were just being boys. They had alot of the behaviours that you have described. My best advice is that if you are really concerned, and these behaviours keep being a problem, to talk to your family doctor or pediatrition and see if you can get a referral to a child psychologist. The psychologist will ask you lots of questions and have you do a test were you rate his behaviours from never to always. This test is called DSM-IV and is a diagnostic criteria test. I am not sure how young they start doing testing as my sons were tested after they went to school, when the teachers started to notice how active they were and how short their attention span was. Please don't take me wrong and think that I am trying to say there is anything wrong with your son. I am just trying to give you some honest information that I wish someone had given me, when my boys were younger. I truly wish you good luck with this, and I hope that the information I gave you is not needed, but if it works out that there is some kind of a behvioural problem, please know that you are not alone and that it is not anything that you have done wrong as a parent. Every child is unique and beautiful in there own way. Good Luck and Best Wishes

Rachel - posted on 03/15/2010

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get him tested he may be autistic or have some other medical problem you are unaware of

BB - posted on 03/12/2010

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Your pediatrician can't really help much, but they can give you a referrel to a child psycologist, you could have his behavior tested.Then you would know if his behavior is just normal toddler craziness or something else.Alot of times it comes down to routines and eating habbits.Does your son, eat or drink alot of sugar filled foods, snacks, drinks...etc.?Some kids just can have sweets, it makes them really hyper.I agree with some of the posts above, todd's test boundaries, they want to see how much of this or that can I do before I get in to trouble.When he doesn't listen, you have to be consistant..keep bringing him back to his timeout spot, even though he might not get it a first after a while it will click that If I do this then I have to sit down.It takes alot longer for very young children to grasp concepts.The most important thing you can do for your son is stay calm no matter how crazy he gets because children learn from thier parents how to handle situations.Does your son get regular exercise? That could help get any extra wiggles out, like playing outside regularly, or joining something like the little gym.Sometimes todd's get lonely just like adults do maybe a weekly playgroup or a day or two of daycare could help.Interaction with other children, on a regular basis, children often mimic behavioral and social ques from each other. You might be surprised how it could help. For tantrums the best advice Iv'e ever heard is leave him alone.Dont react, when he sees you give him no response the tantrums will decrease because they will be meaningless.Sleep is another big behavior culprit, does he take naps regularly, around the same time.I know my children, if they dont take a nap they actually wake up more during the night because then they become over tired.It's important for toddlers to build self esteem, they behave better when they feel proud of themselves, give him things to do, so he can express who he is and gain that empowerment.Chilren from the ages of 18 mo to 2yrs 9 mo have a short attention span, just give him a varation of things to do during the day.Before I stayed home with my kids I used to work in daycare, Iv'e seen all differ. types of kids some slower than others, some have a little or alot of extra spunk.You would be surprised what is normal and what is not.Iv'e seen kids who were quiet and thier parents always said thier kids got compliments on how well behaved thier kids were and that kid actually went along time with having a serious hearing condition undiagnosed. Then there are kids who give even the most peppy adults a run for thier money and they calm down as they get older, or with extra attention to thier diet and exercise.And very few get diagnosed with true ADD or ADHD. Good luck!

Christy - posted on 03/12/2010

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It sounds like your son is testing his boundaries. He is trying to see what he can get away with and for how long. Every child does this, but if you don't set those boundaries he will just get worse. Disicipline is a GOOD thing, not bad. Every child needs disicipline. I was raised by two military parents, and at times the leash was a little too short, but now as a parent I understand what it was they were trying to do and why. I don't disicipline like my parents did (not to their extreme), but my children know without a doubt, what is right and what is wrong behavior. My daughter is three, and has her days where all she does is test me, but I do my best to stay calm and be consistent. As far as teaching him his numbers, colors, letters, etc., he might not be the flash card type. He is a very active child and just need more active activities. For example, get different color balls and go outside and tell him to throw you the red ball. Or play find that color. You may just need to get a little inventive with his learning. Just remember that teaching him good manners and good behavior is just as important as teaching him his ABC's and 123's. Good luck!

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