i am an emotional wreck

Samantha - posted on 02/18/2011

I would suggest taking him to the doctor. It sounds like there is something going on that is more severe than teething.
Good luck.

Sandra - posted on 02/16/2011

Your not a terrible mom! It is easy to feel that way when you feel overwhelmed by whats happening with your child. Don't forget, you are also still postpartum! Try putting the pacifiers in the freezer for a couple of hours and then having him suck on them. Also, give him some childrens motrin might help too! When its naptime, put him in a swing. He may like swaying and music! Hang in there! You'll both get through it!

Jami - posted on 02/16/2011

you say please don't suggest teething tablets because he can't chew on anything and I'm wondering if you have even looked into them or just assumed this? I gave my son teething tablets at 2 months old, which was when he cut his first tooth, they are tiny, like smaller than a birth control pill, not only that, they MELT instantly in baby's mouth... They aren't made to "chew" but they saved my life, so even though you asked not to suggest them, the suggestion is there, or at least for you to read more into it to learn that they are melts and perfectly safe for a 3 month old :). You aren't a bad parent, I went through this with my son, as well, being colicky and having acid reflux since birth & I would get SOOO frustrated. No one would help me, just tell me it wasn't normal for him to be crying so much which I figured out on my own ( lol )! So if you know he's teething, I really can only suggest the teething tablets.. I got the equate brand from walmart because it's WAY cheaper than the name brand, and I gave them to my 2 month old, I promise they're MADE for that or they wouldn't be "teething tablets"... 4 year olds don't cut new teeth, infants do :). lol I hope this was helpful in some way :)

Jane - posted on 02/14/2011

the tablets are not for him to chew on, they dissolve and the ingredients will relieve his pain a bit. i love them. he also needs to gnaw on something w/his gums. try some teething toys, the kind you can hold for him and also the kind that can be put in the fridge to get cool. it doesn't sound bad, we all get to our breaking points. and when our kids are crying and we can't help them, we just get to our breaking points all the sooner.

you can even simply wash your hands and put your pinky in his mouth, the sucking and gnawing may soothe him. or one of those finger toothbrushes, you can put on your finger.

also, the teeth may not be coming in right now, but they are moving around underneath where you can't see them.

Katherine - posted on 02/14/2011

It does sound like PPD. I had it with both of my daughters and it was awful!!! I didn't feel like doing anything, including getting out of bed, getting dressed, taking showers etc...
So I totally know where you are coming from.
I agree with everything Erin has said. Tell your doctor and they can put you on something to take the edge off.
Just the feeling of detachment you are describing is a sign of PPD.
It's completely normal to feel this way after having a baby, but you have to get the help you need :)

And you need your partner on board too.

Erin - posted on 02/14/2011

Hey Robin,

What you're going through does sound like PPD, which I also suffered from. The disconnect was there as well as hopelessness, aggitation, stress, sadness, loss of worth and so many other things. I would speak to a doctor about ways to treat it for you. I started taking women's omega complex which helps with emotional health and it has helped. I went through a trial and error of many medications and coming off them was painful. I would see if there's a more natural way of treating it.

One thing that helped my children was camilia, which is a homeopathic teething medication. It tastes like nothing and comes in premeasured doses which I beleive can be given to them as early as 0 months. Those hyland's teething tablets are also meant to be mixed with water and you just give them on a teaspoon. Other than that, helping yourself first will be the best route to take. It's hard to prioritize when your head is so foggy.
- You are not a horrible mother
- Your baby needs you as you are both equipped physically and emotionally to take care of one another.
- Create a mantra for yourself to repeat when you are feeling low. "I am a great mother! I love my child! these feelings will pass! My husband Loves me and is here to support me!"
If it turns out you have PPD, it is not embarrassing, you dont have controll over it and it doesn't make you a bad mother. If that were the case, then that would make a lot of us bad mothers. It is a medical condition. You see a lot of people suffer from depression but rarely get a glimpse of a mother with Post Partum Deppression. Which I believe is even more dangerous untreated since the life of a child is in the mothers hand. I never had thoughts of harming my baby girl, even though she went through colic, but I always had thoughts of others hurting her or things happening that I had no controll over. Like me walking down the stairs with her and falling, or getting ito a car accident or something falling on her while she was playing. They scared me and I even had anxiety too. It was a frustrating turning point in my life, which I had a hard time owning up to that I did have PPD. But after I did, and got help, it made it so much better and manageable, and things started to work out and go as they should. GOod luck and message me anytime you need to chat or get more information.

Nicole - posted on 02/14/2011

hun have you tried a water filled teether that you have put in the fridge (not freezer!)

Talea - posted on 02/13/2011

my second son was colicky he did all that without the teething lol it passes I promise I use baby orajel with my daughter who is teething now and if it's really bad I give her some infant tylenol. I have also found that a frozen banana in one of those baby gummers helps also. It looks like a paci but instead of a rubber nipple there is a mesh bag that you can put food they can gum to "eat" all the food you put inside without fear of choking. My grandmother used to make one for my Dad as a baby out of old nylons and called it a sugar baby. I found mine at Winn-Dixie (a grocery store here in the south). And those feelings pass. With my third son I had postpartum depression pretty badly. I didn't want anything to do with him at first. He is 5 now and he is my gentle sweetheart. His smile lights up the whole room. :) My colic baby is now 10 and while he doesn't keep me up at nights anymore his older brother (18) now does and for a whole new set of reasons. lol Hang in there Mamma you are doing fine. The fact that you came here for help and are willing to talk about your concerns with your feelings is a pretty good sign that you will get through this just fine. Just when he is sleeping make sure you do something nice for you. Forget the dishes or the trash, make yourself a nice cup of tea (or coffee or whatever), read a little or write in a journal, take bubble bath or give yourself a pedicure. Doesn't really matter what, just take care of you a little and you will be that much more together for your baby when he needs you. (I really do recommend the baby tylenol for when it's really hurting though. I hate to see my babies in pain and I know you do to.)

Christina - posted on 02/13/2011

Are you absolutely sure it's his teeth that are bothering him? I thought my 3 month old was having teething problems because he went from being a happy baby to a miserable one that cried a lot and woke up many times a night. At a regular doctor check I found out he had an ear infection. He didn't have a fever or any sign other than his crankiness. He had one infection after another until he got tubes put in at about 9 months old. The cranky spells and night waking went away.
Don't feel like a terrible mom about your feelings. It's very hard when babies are cranky all the time! My second daughter had colic to the point where she would cry all day. ALL DAY. And every night was a scream fest from 9pm until midnight. One day I called my husband and told him that now I understood why people might want to throw their baby out the window. He told his entire family what I said and they all thought I was a horrible person! There were definately times when I thought that she was there only to torture me. I didn't feel I "loved" her. Sometimes I secretly thought she was crying just to "get to me" even though I knew that was silly to even think. Thankfully, she came out of it and things got better. I love her as much as my other children, and we bonded just as much!!

Good luck!

Carisa - posted on 02/13/2011

The good news is, this will pass and he will be happy again. If you are really feeling disconnected to him, you might be suffering from postpartum depression (I believe it can show up any time within the first year) I would talk to your doctor about how you are feeling and see what they suggested. You might be able to find a support group in your area where you can find other moms to talk to.

Have you tried giving your son Tylenol or Motrin for the pain? You can also try baby orajel. If you're worried about giving him something because of his age, call his pediatrician. They might have some other suggestions to help him. Good luck!

Katherine - posted on 02/13/2011

I have a terrible truth to tell you. My son's teeth did not come in as early as your son's but when he did start getting them, he became addicted to Bonjela! A teething gel that you rub on their gums to ease pain, however we did try other things like cold face washers, those frozen baby keys and stuff, he wasn't interested in those. you do have to use caution when using teething gels as they can contain aspirin and other nasties. Try some paracetamol or tylenol for babies. In my experience, the pain relief was so great with Isaac that he slept beautifully and when he woke up he was a happier little boy. If you feel like you are becoming emotionally distant from your bab, please seek help from family/ doctor/ maternal health nurse. Little babies are only little for so long, make sure you enjoy this stage in their life because believe it or not you will miss it! Take care and good luck!

Charlie - posted on 02/13/2011

I also use an Amber teething necklace which i bought online it has worked wonders , I watched my oldest cut molars which made him extremely upset and frustrated and in less than a day after I put on his necklace he was a different happy child , still teething but much happier .

My youngest is teething too now , I know because he chews and drools a lot but he is happy and doesn't really get whingey and he always wears his necklace !

YOu are not a failure , you are normal just like the rest of us , try and get some respite whenever you can ...good luck.

Kera - posted on 02/13/2011

You are not alone in how your are feeling! I have 2 daughters and a 3rd baby on the way...I've definitely had the same feelings at times. My girls didn't have the teething issues, but what did help me in the early months was using a baby sling literally almost all the time - just attached them to my chest and left them there all day! It gives a similar feeling to being the womb and is very comforting. The book, The Happiest Baby on the Block, has a lot of good suggestions for dealing with unhappy babies and may be very helpful as well. If you are breastfeeding, it helps too, as breastmilk has pain relieving properties. Definitely ask for help from those around you! Don't try to handle this by yourself. Best of luck!

Kristi - posted on 02/13/2011

Its actually notto early for baby to start teething. Some babies are actually born with a tooth or two. Are the teeth actually through the gums? Try anything cold in his mouth. I used to put teethingrings in the freezer and my daughter would gnaw on them. I have to say that I was pretty lucky when my daughter teethed. She never got that fussy. I believe she did have colic though. There are tablets you can buy and dont worry about baby being too young to chew. they dissolve in the babies mouth. There are so many options to help baby. Help yourself too so you dont lose it. I had days where I would just sit there and cry with my daughter because I didnt know what else to do. Take advantage of the help that you get from your mom and mother in law. Even if its just an hour. Take a walk, run some errands. You will come home refreshed. Your baby will feel if you are becoming distant from him so be careful. That may be one reason he cries soo much too. Good luck! It will get better.

Armanda - posted on 02/12/2011

Robin,
Have you tried putting his pacifier in the refridgerator or even the freezer for a little bit? Or even giving him a cold wash cloth to suck on? The cold will help sooth his sore gums. They also sell vibrating teethers. I'm not sure if he is to young, but they do have baby oralgel that you can rub on his gums. Also, if you can get a baby toothbrush that you put on your finger, you can massage his gums. He might start gnawing on your fingers though, so be careful! It's ok to feel withdrawn and stressed out. That's only natural. If you were around any other child that cried all day you'd probably feel the same way. It doesn't mean you don't love him anymore. Are you able to get out everyday? Even if it's just to run to the store for 30 minutes, it will help. Do you have any family that can help you out? Or maybe a trustworthy neighbor who can give you a break? Don't be afraid to ask others to help you. They can be lifesavers!

Elfrieda - posted on 02/11/2011

No, the love for your baby is still there. It's natural that you feel stressed, because there's a constant screaming in your ears. When he feels better, you'll feel better. :)
My son had colic for the first 3 months, and I was just desperate to get away from him at times. It doesn't mean there's no love, it just means that it's a difficult time.
One thing that I did, that I've never heard anyone but my grandmother say, was rub a bit of vanilla on the sore part of the gums. It worked. I don't know whether there are any side effects, but there weren't any on my son. It really helped him at night. I only did it once a day at the most, just because I wasn't sure. Don't worry, I've heard that the first tooth is the worst, until the molars start.

Jennifer - posted on 02/11/2011

i second emma's suggestion for an amber teething necklace. i have heard great things about them, and they are completely safe for a babe so young

http://hyenacart.com/inspiredbyfinn/

Stifler's - posted on 02/11/2011

what about a teething necklace?

Christy - posted on 02/10/2011

My son had undiagnosed acid reflux until he was 4 months old and all he did was literally SCREAM during and after every single feeding until I got him the meds he needed. Not saying your baby has the same thing, but I was ready to scream myself. Can you give him baby tylenol, or baby orajel to help with the pain so he won't cry so much? It's hard to bond with a screaming a baby. That's their only means of communication and there isn't much you can do about that. Maybe go back to the Dr, just to make sure you are correct about the teething aspect? Also as the other moms said, talk to husband. It is great you are reaching out, BTW. :) HUGS!

Robin - posted on 02/10/2011

thank you to both of you. i texted my husband before i started this conversation and i'm sure we will talk about it more when he gets home from work. all of our family on both sides live less than 10mins away and i spend a lot of time with my mom so she tries to help as much as she can and my mom-in-law offers to babysit when she can but they both own their own businesses. thanks for the suggestions i will try some of them.

Tracy - posted on 02/10/2011

Please let your husband/partner know how you are feeling. That can be of some great help for sure.
I have 4 kids, and man oh man 1 of the 4 was Colic! I had so many people tell me there was something wrong with her, or that it wasnt normal and stuff, surly was hard.(she was my 1st) I would hold her and comfort her for as long as I could. Then when she wouldnt stop, or I felt frusterated I would put her down and walk away....I had to keep my sanity too. I tried the grape water stuff, no help.
My 2nd daughter had the ability to power puke at about 6 weeks old, that wasnt fun! I took her to the hospital, and thankfully had a wonderful nurse give me some great advice.
She suggest chiro care if I felt good about it(I never did it) but she also explained some African culture type stuff. It was basically helping baby to align the spine, cause that spine is attached to everything else, and if not aligned properly cause pain. ( I have also heard that colic babies can benefit from Chiro care too, but I didnt know it when I had a screaming colic baby)
I think with baby #2 the saver was Oval drops, you can get them at the drug store. you give them a few lil drops, the idea of this stuff is the mint helps to break up the gas bubbles in their lil tummies. Helps them to burp and fart better. Allot of crying can build up gas, so results in lots of crying. I would also suggest some baby advil, just need a lil bit and it will help him to be more comfortable as well. You can do advil/tylenol over lapping, but talk to a dr first about that part as im not sure the age that is recommended on.
A crying baby, is hard on the mind body and soul. Feeling anxiety and stress related to him, isnt good for either of you.
Your not a bad mom. I highly recomend you reaching out to friends/parents/spouse....someone that can help you some, so that you can also get some sleep. baby blues are setting in a little sounds like maybe too.
With a lil help for him, and yourself you can be feeling like the happy go lucky mom that you want to be!
(HUGS) everything will be just fine

Sandie - posted on 02/10/2011

hi, you are not a failure! the fact that you are on this site asking for help proves that! what kind of support system do you have around you, family and understanding friends you could talk to? i would suggest taking your little one to the health visitor or doctor to find out what you can do to help him with the pain his teeth are causing. my son's didnt come in as early as yours but i found a teething powder that you rub onto the gums that helped, or a gel works really well too especially if you keep it in the fridge. you can also wet a muslin cloth or clean dish towel and keep that in the fridge for a while then let them chew it, it helps to sooth. are you breastfeeding? i used to just let my son nurse for comfort, i found that soothed him too. just remember this is a phase that seems to last forever but will come to an end. he is still the same little baby boy who loves you and wil enjoy your snuggles and kisses. it may be helpful for you to just go and explain how you feel to the health visitor, they are there to help and will not judge you.