i feel like im not a good mother

Kayleigh - posted on 12/18/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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i have a 4yr old daughter and have always had the help and support of my mom and dad as they have her at weekends so i could still have my time,im 22 now and had a little boy last november but he's compleatly diffrent from my 1st he cryes and moans all the time he's so clingy and always wants me he;s nearly 14mnths now and things still haven changed.Now i have 2 my mom wont have both at weekendz so now i feel realy isolated and sometimes i resent my son for this even tho its not his fault.sometimes i just wish i wouldent wake up the next morning becose i feel like im not good enuf my little girl doesnt get alot of attenchon because my boy takes up all my time.i always feel stressed and tired becose he doesnt sleep tru the night eather,my partner tryes to help but i still feel the same.iv'e battled with deppresion for 3 yrs on and off,but ive never felt this bad before!!

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8 Comments

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Kelli - posted on 12/21/2009

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oh and I added you to my circle... Please feel free to message me anytime. I am very isolated at home by myself with my son so I always enjoy chatting with other moms.

Kelli - posted on 12/21/2009

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Kayleigh,

I am also 22 and I only have one child and feel the same way at times... I can't imagine having two!! I give you credit! My son is 18 months and is VERY clingy. He won't even let me go to the bathroom by myself. He has to be with me all the time. My mom offers to babysit every now and then but he screams and cries when I drop him off so I do not take him there often because she cant handle him crying for a half hour straight after I leave. I would go to your dr to try to get on some medication. Dont feel embarrased to ask for help I didn't get help with postpartum until a year after wards because I thought it would go away and I was scared they were going to think I was a horrible mother and wasnt stable enough to have a child, but it was the opposit. They were very understanding and got me the help I needed. There are still days I feel depressed but the good days outnumber the bad. You are a good mother or else your son wouldnt be so clingy! Keep up the good work and keep your head high girl

Kayleigh - posted on 12/21/2009

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thank you all for replying its realy good to talk about how i feel without being juged x

Jackie - posted on 12/18/2009

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I think that you may need to go to the Dr. for a check-up. But just remember that because your child is clingy and wants to be with you tells you that you are a good mother. CHildren do not want to be around people who reject them or do not show love. very mother feels like you do and every child reacts differently. I have an 8 year old who is still clingy. you need to find the time, even if it means paying a sitter, to gett away for just a few hours every week and treet your self. As far as your mother goes, just because you have 2 children now does not mean that she should reject time spent with your son. I think that you should explain to her that you need some time away. Tell her that if she agrees you will make it brief and that you do not want your son to feel neglected by Grand ma. I will be praying for you!

Ruth - posted on 12/18/2009

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its time to get help for your depression. that means going to your doctor and maybe even counsling. your talking like a lady with post partum depression.

some babys are like that my first baby was, very clingy and 12 years later still is, it just means they love you, trust you and are not comfy with out you.

Jodi - posted on 12/18/2009

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Go back to the doctor and see what he/she can do about your worsening depression. Ceck into local play groups or mom's groups, just so you can at least get out of the house! Perhaps try leaving your child for a few minutes at a time, (long enough for him to get a little bit upset but not so long that he's traumatized!), slowly, increase the time you're out of sight, whether it's outside or simply a different room. Eventually, he should be able to cope with it better knowing that you always come back. I had to do this with my daughter and now I can leave her overnight at her Nana's house! I too have suffered with depression but have it well managed now, if you EVER need to talk or vent or would like advice, please message me, I am a great listener! Best of luck!

Lauren - posted on 12/18/2009

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Your children need their mom to be there for them but you can't take care of them until you take care of yourself FIRST! You should go to a Dr. that will listen to your problems and get you on the right medications. Make sure you keep talking to someone until you get the help you need...don't push your feelings aside. God has given you 2 wonderful blessings, Feeling that way isn't your fault, having children is a lot of work especially as young as 22. Get your mind healthy, you deserve to be happy and so do your kids. Once you can think more clearly things won't seem so bad. I will be praying for you and your children. May God bless you.

Jodie - posted on 12/18/2009

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i have a 12yr.and hes been like that snice day 1.i know you may not wont to hear this.but you need to figuare out,is the attention thing.consisting of behavoiur you have never seen before.like running raiot,trying to hurt his sister,climbing things,or just a out right cry,course he knows that he will get your attention.so now work out,which of the 2,hes doing more than usual,if its 1,it is,and im sorry,a classic sgin of a.d.h.d,if you feel thats it,then do see a doctor,you cant reason with kids with a.d.h.d,without being 24/7 watch dog,and when you have other kids,its im possiable.my boy has a.d.h.d,and hes hard work,but its patience,and consisitancy.yet if it the 2nd one i said.you need to start tough love,and ignore him,unless it serious.but he has you guys under your thumb,and you need to sort it now,seek advice.you cant let him take control.no you are not a bad mum.its bout balance.you will do whats best for you and your family.take care.

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