I hate how people react when I say I'm a SAHM!!!

Harper - posted on 04/09/2012 ( 82 moms have responded )

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It really makes me so mad when people just roll their eyes when I say Im a SAHM...as if its the easiest thing in the world to be or if Im lazy! Anyone else ever feel like that and if they do what do you guys say when they treat you like that

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Chesnie - posted on 04/29/2012

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I haven't had anyone say anything luckily ( to my face) when I say I stay home with Peyton. 3 other friends of mine also stay home so it's not bad....most I have encountered say " good for you" that's the best thing....I have been lucky! My mom is on disability with liver disease and my tro aunts and mother in law are retired so we do things together. My husband sometimes makes me feel like I'm lazy sometimes but he also knows its easier cuz he works out of town a lot and we either go with him or drop P off at grandmas and we go outof town.....

Jennefer - posted on 04/27/2012

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Tell me about it. Every woman in my family does not agree with my decision. They're more concerned about "if" it doesn't work out then I'm screwed.



Honestly, it's so irritating that everyone who hasn't done it thinks it's a piece of cake but especially with a baby or toddler, it's a job that lasts throughout the night as well. Some people need to just mind their own business!



But good for you! Even though it's a hard job, I think it's the best and most rewarding!

Leslie - posted on 04/27/2012

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I dnt get that yet lol, i been a SAHM for 4 months and its because im prego and im due in 5 weeks, but after that ill be staying home. But seriously lots of moms wish they could stay home, i know i did while i was working and i have a 3 yr old. So i just say most of them are JEALOUS !!! NOT MANY MOMS CAN STAY HOME. they work cause they have too, but i eNjoy staying at home, and always will be proud of it.

[deleted account]

I get the looks also... When people find out that I am a SINGLE SAHM, they really roll their eyes.

I've had people call me lazy, and pretty much worthless. (I feel that way a lot)
Thankfully, my mom helps me and my children out and I do things around the house, so I'm not a lump.
It hurts... especially when it comes from family, but I just try to suck it up and deal with the fact that not everyone is going to agree with what I do. I've tried finding a job, and have gotten rejection letters/emails, and 99% of the time, I get no phone call or letter at all.

I cry--- a lot.

If I was a nurse, I would be set. There are all sorts of nursing jobs where I live, but I don't have the education for that.
I enjoy the time with my children and I know I have to make the best of it while they still want me around.

Karen - posted on 04/24/2012

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*LOL* I stopped defending myself years ago. Now I just smile and tell them I'm very happy just being a SAHM. I get to go to my childs school events, I get to help him with his homework. I get to see him and talk with him. SO I know how he's doing.
I don't try and change their minds cuz they will never see how much I do.

Being a SAHM is hard work and I love it.

Nothing against working moms, I just couldn't do it.

Alisia - posted on 04/24/2012

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Amanda, sahm stands for stay at home mom.

I just wanted to add one more thing. I reread my comment and just wanted to clarify. I personally don't think working moms have it easy either. They work hard too just in a different way. I understand being a sahm isn't an option for everyone such as single moms, but I don't think we should be made out to be lazy women who don't contribute either. IF we can create the opportunity for our children to have a parent at home, I think it's a pretty GREAT thing. I'm proud of what I do and I find it tiring but it's the most fulfilling and rewarding job for me! ;D

Jasmine - posted on 04/24/2012

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After I had my second baby and we were making the rounds to all the relatives I had alot of people ask me when I was going back to work. i told them I was going be to a SAHM for a few years and many were surprised, maybe because I'm the liberal feminist in the family so they are surprised that I would choose to stay home since I think that is often associated with more conservative families. I worked in a daycare center before I had my second baby and my first child attended it. Many of the parents of the kids I looked after were really supportive and wished me well when I told them of my decision. I even got a nice card and a photo from one of the families :)

Alisia - posted on 04/23/2012

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I HATE the reactions I get. One time we had someone over so I was just trying to entertain them and enjoy having company. This person actually made the comment, " So this is ALL you do all day?" Like I do nothing, which obviously when you have company you're not going to be running around doing the laundry and cleaning and doing the millions of things that need to get done EVERYDAY! I just said no that time and regret not saying more. I just didn't want to go off in front of my kids.
I do usually list my daily duties when I get snarky remarks though. But I think it's so sad how it's frowned upon by so many now and days! I don't understand how people think our kids would be better off spending their days with strangers than at home with someone who truly loves them and is going to look out for them more than anyone else would! And I HATE how people think it's so easy. I don't care though, I know I'm doing what's best for my girls and I'm grateful God gave me the opportunity to be able to do it.

User - posted on 04/16/2012

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I am a nurse by profession.I feel bad not being able to work anymore.My friends all look at me like I retired too early! I feel bad about it but deep inside, I know for a fact that for most of my friends, their husbands are STAY AT HOME so I don't feel half as bad...I just ignore all the snide comments.

Mary - posted on 04/15/2012

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Yea Stacey. You have one of the hardest and one of the lowest paying jobs. The best thing about being a sahm is you get to have the absolute best quality time with your family. That's something the work outside the home parents miss; those special moments our children do.



I missed being with my children for years. They were in school during the day and I worked an afternoon shift with an airline. When I got home, my children were fast asleep. My weekends were on a rotation, so I missed a lot I can NEVER get back. I was able to be home full-time with my youngest. Your job is one of the most important jobs available and by far the hardest.

S. - posted on 04/15/2012

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Just a sahm! I am a teacher, I teach small people life skill's lol, I am a cook, a cleaner, a taxi driver, a PA, a personal shopper, hair dresser, nurse, story teller the list could go on and on I hate it when people make me feel like I am "just" a sahm.

Mary - posted on 04/15/2012

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My children are all gone and grown now. I have had the experience of working outside the home and being a sahm. Presently I work exclusively from home and I get a similar reaction because people think just because you work from home, you have all the time in the world to help them or talk to them on the phone. Basically they don't get the concept of working from home with your own business as work.

Olivia - posted on 04/14/2012

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I get that ALL the time. They must not be one or they wouldn't give that reaction. Being SAHM is the best job in the world!!

[deleted account]

People just assume that SAHM means that you are rich, have a nanny for the kids, a maid for the cleaning and no doubt a cook and a driver. I tell them to spend just one day in my shoes. I have a son who just turned 13, another who is 10 1/2 and is not only deaf in one ear he is also on the autism spectrum, and a daughter who is going to be 5 in June. We also have 2 dogs and then there is my husband. I take care of all of them myself. We are not rich so the cleaning, cooking and driving (when hubby is working anyway) is up to me. I do the grocery shopping for all of us. There have been many times when we have to go without the extras just to be able to have the money for bills and food. Being a SAHM may be easy if you are famous or the Queen of England.....but that just isn't the case for the average family anymore.

Blair - posted on 04/12/2012

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Omg i know EXACTLY what you mean!! I always get the same reaction from people! It's so annoying, it's like they think we just sit around on the couch eating bon bon's all day lol!

Stef - posted on 04/12/2012

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I get those sort of comments all the time...just list off all the shit you do and it soon shuts them up! I've given up caring what others think, just tell them to mind their own fucking business!

Leah - posted on 04/11/2012

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I heard somewhere that when people ask you what you do for a living tell them you are a DOMESTIC DIVA! :) I like that one.

Leah - posted on 04/11/2012

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I just hate when I get those comments or looks when I tell people I am a stay at home mom. I feel like society today defines success as having a great career (outside the home) while women who stay at home and care for their children are seen as unsuccessful.

Hannah - posted on 04/11/2012

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I get this all the time. Just the other day I had a doctor ask me what I did, and I said "I am a keeper of the home." and he just kind of laughed. When I bluntly asked him why he was laughing, he sobered up real quick and said "oh, uh, well that is truly a lost art form."

Good save.

I have had people tell me I am wasting my talents. I've also had people make underlying comments that imply I have all the time in the world because I do nothing. I have also had people say I am lazy! I made that person come stay a few days with me and do everything I do and he took back what he said. But, yeah, it pisses me off too!

Oh, and my favorite one is "You're too young to be JUST a stay at home mom. Go out and do something for yourself."

I told her, "Since when is being a full time wife and mother for the old? It is a demanding job, I would think only the young should be doing it, actually."

Last I heard, that woman doesn't like me anymore, but I shut her up quick!

Stifler's - posted on 04/10/2012

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Nothing people just say to me that being a mum is the hardest job in the world. I feel like if I went back to work I'd be fucked because my youngest still doesn't sleep through. Housework on top of that would be a no go zone.

[deleted account]

I am with Erica. I am 25 yrs old and still not working. I haven't worked since I was 19 going 20 yrs old and still no job. I was working in 2010 but had quit cause I didn't know how to balance work and home. Plus I didn't have time for anything not even for my FH and son. I would call out or come out of work early cause sometimes I had no one to pick my son up from daycare. Anyway when my son turn 8 months I was attending night classes for y CMA certification and graduated. Now I am not working or attending school just staying hoe doing the stay at home mommy duties. The only thing I don't do is do laundry or food shopping for the simple reason I live far. The laundry mat is in the middle of town and I don't have a cart to push the bags so I do it Fri with my FH. Food shopping as well is not close to me and I don't drive or don't got a licence.



I have had my sister say I have it good. If only she knew. When I used to talk my FFIL all he used to say was that I don't know how to do anything but open my legs. Yup imagine. I could say never did a day pass by that we needed anything for my son. There was times we didn't have money or even food but we got through it. I have a lot of pride and it ould be so hard to ask for help. I could say I didn't need no one. The only one that help me was my mom and my sister. My sister takes my son to her house sometimes not cause I ask her but she ask me to take him. My son don't stay with no one or over no one's house.



My sister say that I'm spoiled. I stay home while my FH works and gives me everything. I sometimes don't let those remarks bother me.

Erica - posted on 04/10/2012

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I get that a lot. I think its a little worse because I'm 23, people get jealous. Once someone said to me "Yeah it must be nice, your husband works all day and makes the money and you sit around doing nothing and you get to spend all the money." So I just turned to her and said "Yep! I love it! He does all the work and I have all the fun! Why would I ever want my life to be different?" smiled real big and walked away. That's what they think then fine that's what I'll tell them, I don't care. It just pisses them off more, which I actually find funny. :)

Nancy - posted on 04/10/2012

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Who cares what people think? They will always have something to say or think. If you had one kids they would think you should have more and if you have alot of kids they would think you shouldn't have more. As long as you and your family are happy with your decision just take their reaction and comments with a grain of salt. Otherwise, you're going to burn alot of energy and thought on their negativity and it will rob you of your peace of mind and happiness.

[deleted account]

Yup I'm totally decked on in the latest fashion, sitting on my butt, eating bon bons while watching Days of our Lives all day long. I'm never running after one child while the other is screaming for food in (if I'm lucky) jeans and a T. I never fold the laundry, make dinner, and solve some huge over the top out burst all at once. Best of all I get a total of 0 vacations a year.



I normally only get to the jeans and T part thankfully.



Karen is right though. I can't imagine leaving my children at a daycare for hours to only see them long enough to tuck them in bed at night.

Karen - posted on 04/10/2012

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Tell them to hang out with you for a day, I bet they will go home more tired than ever!



I have a few mom friends I email with while they are at work. I see just how hard they "work" in emails with me all day LOL! One mom in particular, who spends almost all of her paycheck on daycare, seems to think she would go insane in my position. She says things like "I don't know how you do what you do all day. After a weekend with my kid's I am ready for Monday!"



I have said this in another thread, and its true. People who judge would NOT last in your shoes.



I couldn't imagine dropping my kid off at daycare for someone else to raise. Some working moms can't imagine being with their kids all day. Its easy to judge something you don't do. All I know is that I am thankful for the life I live and I am proud of what I do. I dare someone scoff at me to my face!

[deleted account]

I know what you mean. I had so many people throw it in my face. I got it easy. I don't do nothing. When am I going to start looking for a job. This is not your house if you don't pay rent etc It get's tiring to hear it.

Katherine - posted on 04/09/2012

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And the thing is it's NOT easy! I work 3 days a week and stay at home the other 4 days. I have no help, I'm separated. So really what RIGHT do these moms have? They actually have it easy! No kids AND work, take them to daycare, feed them and then put them to bed. Pretty damn easy.

Raynell - posted on 04/09/2012

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I experience these reactions a lot, I have learned to pay people no mind because to be honest the only people who will ever understand what it's like to be a SAHM are other SAHMs (or dads). I often get the feeling that most women who react negativity are actually feeling a little bit of jealousy. I mean aside from women who absolutely love their careers, what woman wouldn't want to not have to work. Never having experienced being a SAHM, it looks so easy to them.

Katherine - posted on 04/09/2012

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Like Michelle, I say everything I do ON top of being a SAHM. They shut up pretty quickly. Thing is your job is 24/7, biggest job in the world, nuff said!

Michelle - posted on 04/09/2012

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When I rattle off everything I do they soon back off :-)



I run the uniform shop at the boys school, am secretary of the P&C, work part time (2 days a week for 4 hours) and look after 3 children and a husband. I have never been looked down on for being a SAHM though. There are a lot of Mum's here that stay at home but I do a lot more than them, I just don't get paid for most of it.

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