I have no idea how to make friends!

Stacey - posted on 03/25/2012

oh, I got that backwards. I thought you moved to chicago from texas. Where do you live in Texas? You can do a search on meetup.com for playgroups in your city, and you should get some hits.

Stacey - posted on 03/25/2012

check out this link..

http://www.meetup.com/find/?keywords=pla...



I did a search on playgroups on meetup.com. It's how I met a lot of my friends in the area. SAHMs meeting other SAHMs. You end up having a lot in common and plenty to talk about, and hopefully will want to hang out with again!

Lacey - posted on 03/25/2012

I know how you feel. I am an stay home mom with two kids. My oldest is in Kindergarten but he is visually impair and my youngest is about to be two on April 8Th.. I am also going to college online. I need to make new friends. Either the friends I have now are full of drama or don't care about the kids.

Ivana - posted on 10/31/2011

Hey there....I totally get how ur feeling!!! I've been living in Canada for 8yrs now and i still have not made a single friend, I don't know if i'm an outcast or just not friend material!!! When i lived in N.Y i had my friends and i was working, but know that i have kids i just find its harder to make friends!! I have two kids 9yr old Lorenzo and 7 1/2 month old Luciano...I had my first child when i was 20yrs old and women my age were still going out and boyfriends and all.. When i had my son, 2 weeks later i found out i had Cancer so i had alot on my plate!! Anytime u want someone to chat with just send me a message or if u have Facebook we could chat there too!! U have a friend if u want one!! Anytime, take care of yourself!!

Porscha - posted on 10/30/2011

I know exactly how you. we just moved to Texas in June. I have no family and no friends. I have 1 9yr old son and a 4yr old stepson. I'm not a stay at home mom, but I still find it hard making friends. On top of that we moved into a neighborhood that really doesnt have alot of kids, so my kids look so miserable around here. I feel like such a horrible mom for moving my kids away from where they were happy. I feel like they will resent me later on. You are definitely not alone in this situation.

Juli - posted on 10/30/2011

I understand compleatly!! I ave been feling like this alot!! I am very kind and easy going and used to have no problem having friends once I met someone that is (i am also very shy and timid). but now I have my husbands guy friend (who are my friends as well but in a distant way that is) I ave tried to make friends with other moms in our apt complexx but they keep moving away, I also triend befriending a mom who I know will be ere for a while but she is "sick" so often that i wonder if she is really sick or just doesn't want to be friends. My closest friends are on Facebook LOL. and an old veteran. Senor ladies can make great friends who love kids, and are very understanding.

Shannon - posted on 10/25/2011

Alison , I so have the same problem . I live 6 hours away from any family and i have been a stay at home mom for about 3 1/2 years and don't have any friends . I live in new braunfels . Where do you live? I have been going to church but i really haven't talked to anybody because they are either young or senior citizens. Haven't found anybody in my age group. My husband is out of town alot for work and i have two little ones .

Amanda - posted on 10/24/2011

Where in Texas do you live? I have 3always children also 9, 7, and 2. I live in gulf coast area and know exactly how u feel about staying at home. I myself am a stay at home mom now for about 2 yrs.

Dawn - posted on 10/21/2009

I feel the same way. I have a one year old daughter and my life is so wrapped around her. I am very picky with who i leave her with so I only have her father when i need so me time and my mother when we need to spend time together. I have gotten use to the way things are so i do not go out much or talk to that many people. I want to be outgoing and social but i have forgotten how to do. Any suggestions.

Janet - posted on 10/21/2009

I totally know how u feel. No matter where I am I find it very hard to make real friends. I am not a very social person..I will say hi and talk but inwardly im scared and always afraid of being judged. Not used to change I try and go with the flow but it isnt always easy. My son just started kindergarten this year and I have found it very hard because when he was in Preschool I was so active in it but with Kindergarten its just so overwhelming. I live in the Boston area and even though there are groups all over the place I just cant bring myself to feel like I fit in.

Teri - posted on 10/20/2009

Everything new is hard at first, but just give it some time and you will be making friends. I know it must be hardl, when you up and move from everything that you know and you must feel like your whole life as you know it is gone, but just give it some time and you will see that everyday will get a little easier. God Bless!

Anne-Marie - posted on 10/20/2009

Hi Alison,



I moved to Texas (New Braunfels area) June 08 from MA., and I can relate as well. I have 4 children with only my 4 year old at home with me now. When my husband lost his job back in MA, we decided to move here to be closer to my sister and to start fresh. She is really the only person I have that I visit and hang out with. Once in a while my sister's friend and her daughter will go over, and I will visit with her as well. I have other people that I talk with but are not really friends with. I find that if I want to just let some steam out, I can't call my friends back in MA, since I don't feel as connected with them now. My husband travels a lot for work and can be gone for 2 months at a time, then come home for a week and leave again. Even though I have the 4 children, it can get lonely at times. My 4 year old only wants to do so much with me. She is quite independent and likes to do things on her own.

I too suffer from social anxiety, and I could never start up a conversation with someone. Especially since people find it hard to understand my New England accent. I feel I always have to watch how I pronounce my words. Never mind, that I still don't know how to get around my town, and that finding friends at the grocery store is probably not going to happen. If you happen to be in the New Braunfels area, let me know :)

Tammy - posted on 10/20/2009

Hey Alison,

I feel you, I actually do AVON to help me from getting in that same condition. This way I have a brochure that I can hand to people, then I've also developed friends through my customers and my downline members. Good luck and keep pushing yourself. Do you go to story times at the libraries or maybe the play areas at the mall. Is a great place to socialize.

Tammy - posted on 10/20/2009

Quoting Alison:

I have no idea how to make friends!

My husband and I just moved to Texas from Chicago, where we were both born and raised. I love living out here but I have no idea how to go about making friends, (since it has been sooo long since I've had to put any effort into it) and I could really use at least one right now. The down fall of staying at home is your lack of contact with people, so I have tried to start up conversations with other moms at the library or park, but so far nothing has worked. I should put in here that I suffer from severe social anxiety, and despite that, I have really been trying to make an effort. Back home I had tons of neighbors that I was friends with but now I find myself living in an apartment, where it seems all of my neigbors are either college kids or senior citizens. Any suggestions? Do any of you often feel like social outcasts, or is this just me?

Chrissy - posted on 10/20/2009

I am feeling you on this one. My situation is a little different tho. I used to work outside the home for a large telecommunications company. I used to work 40+ hours a week and had alot of "friends" at work. I lost my job in May and my "friends" aren't here for me anymore. I have tried to keep up communications with them but it just isn't the same. All they wanted to talk about, those that still talked to me, was work. It's not like I stole from the company or anything like that. I had back surgery and the doctor didn't fill out the paper work correctly and because of that, I was fired. My health isn't what it used to be and I do have a hard time getting out and meeting new people. The only people I really talk to are the friends I have made playing a computer game and we use a voice program that does allow us to talk to each other. I guess what I am rambling on about is, it is hard to find new friends but I am here to talk whenever you feel the need.

Danielle - posted on 10/19/2009

We moved to a new city just last month. I'm feeling the same way. I am socially ackward, always say the wrong thing, never say the right things. I have two year old twins, so to be able to sit a talk with someone at the park is hard because they are always doing something that needs attention.



I think that if I had time to focus on some of my hobbies, like go to the local yarn shop for a knitting group or something I would eventually find friends, but I'm also a full time student and really don't know that I have time to nurture a new friendship. But I am lonely.



That being said...I know that I've never made friends easily, but have always had a person come into my life at just the time I needed them. So I am working to keep myself open and introduce myself and trusting that my next friend is coming.

Monica - posted on 10/18/2009

I been here, so hard to make new friends in here, I live in north dallas, every time you need to chat I'lkl be here, or if we live relatively near, we probably could make some contact and let kids play, but I have only a 2 year old, so if we are in the same channel, welcome if not, we can still chit-chat over here :) ;)

Anna - posted on 10/18/2009

im only 19 and had alot of friends at school but when i fell pregnant they didnt want to know i live in the same area and have no friends but i have great family sapport but try taking your 4 year old to a day care would be a great way to me other mums close to home, hang in there your kids are worht it! xxx

Neelam - posted on 10/18/2009

Look for local moms club for support or go to meetup.com and search for stay at home moms and I am sure you will find soemthing/. Thats what helped me. You meet great women and kids for your children to play with. Everyone gets to grow and learn together.

Natalie - posted on 10/18/2009

Im in the same situation.My husband,daughters and I moved to Tauranga earlier this year after living in Hamilton (me for 6 years and my husband his whole life).I find it really hard to get out and a about and meet other mums as my girls are 20 months and 8 months old.Either my 20 month old will throw massive tantrums and generally misbehave or my 8 month old will be tired and want to be in bed or feed!

It really sucks,but I figuire as they get older it will get easier,and in your situation maybe give yourself some time to get used to your surroundings?I find Im a bit more comfortable meeting new people now that I even know where the supermarket is!haha If it helps I hate meeting new people,I never know what to say and for some reason almost everyone I meet thinks its a horrible thing that Im shy!Go figure....all I know is that Ive found Circle of Mums to help a bit,I know its not face to face contact but its still something.

Nina - posted on 10/18/2009

I'm so sorry and I wish I could help because I felt the same after having my children. Sadly, I live in the UK, but I can assure you, you are the same person everyone else loved when you where in Chicago. Although a little wiser can make things appear a little scarier, it can also make it easier to prepare yourself when you need to meet new people. Just go out on a limb and do something that will even suprise yourself. It only takes one good thing to make things change. Good look!

Laura - posted on 10/17/2009

first of all.. where in tx i live here in katy, close to houston.. second, i moved here from ct, my husband was in the NAVY there.. originally from tx.. i'm from MA.. i had a lot of luck with a mothers group through my church.. i also do the same as you when i'm out alone with my kids, talking at parks and such i've had a little luck there.. its imp that you surround yourself with real, good people esp being at home with kids.. thats why i like the church group b/c they are similar to my beliefs and alot of them have traveling husbands like myself..i also have good neighbors.. you def have to put yourself out there esp being a stay at home mother.. its much easier for me now.. again let me know where youre at

Summer - posted on 10/17/2009

I moved from Florida back to Oklahoma to be closer to my family. I don't get to get out a lot since i have a 4 month old. I have tried to go out with friends i had before i moved to Fl and before i was pregnant but we dont "click" anymore. I also suffer from mild social anxiety, i want to talk to other women but i always seem to choke up and end up saying nothing or i mix my words up when i do talk. I also have a problem making eye contact, i don't really like doing it. I always seem to come off as bitchy or not friendly, which i'm not. I am going to church now and i'm hoping to join a bible group to meet other people. I am only 22 so i dont click with my mothers friends but i dont click with younger people or people my age due to being a mother. I know this isnt much help, just thought i'll share my own story. You arent alone in having trouble making new friends.

Alison - posted on 10/17/2009

Thanks for all of the great ideas and support you guys, it really helps to hear that I am not alone in my feelings, I look foward to being in contact with some of you! Thanks again, you all really boosted my spirits!

Myra - posted on 10/16/2009

I'm right there with you! I have no real life friends because I'm too scared to go out and make any. I used to have really bad anxiety issues...probably still would if I went out and was around people much.

My husband always suggests to me to take a class to meet potential friends...maybe that would work for you. It doesn't have to be college; maybe a flower arranging class, a photography class, a dance class, etc. Maybe that'll help!

Cynthia - posted on 10/16/2009

Hi! I moved to TX 2yrs ago and I don't really have any close friends here at all, I was working up till I got pregnant now I'm a stay at home mom, I do have family here that keeps me busy but it's not the same, I'm just now looking for things to do with my son and myself, I use Dallas child as one source, the library and the community I live in is pretty active. I don't know where you live is that North or South? Hope to hear from you.

Tammy - posted on 10/16/2009

I also suffer from anxiety/depression and know exactly what you mean. I have found that as my kids get friends and I meet the parents; we seem to get along with most of them. Plus, you know that your kids get along well together. That's already a big plus. And it gives you something to talk about. That's one way but mine are school age.

Michelle - posted on 10/16/2009

Go to meetup.com and find local groups of people who get together for common interests. There are meetups for moms, for wine enthusiast, for bicyclist and just about anything. It will let you get out and mingle a bit. I am sure you will do fine. Just be yourself.



best wishes



Michelle Fisher

Cori - posted on 10/16/2009

oh man.. i moved from CA to delware 2 years ago and have yet to make a friend like i had back in ca.. its never the same no matter what and i feel like i always get burnt by "new friends" but thats largely because i live on a military base (its like high school) the majority of the nice people i have met have either worked with my husband at the fire dept or at mommies and me groups... i found some on meetup.com and they have some in our community

Marlana - posted on 10/16/2009

Hey sweetie, I also know how you feel, but i live on a farm and the people next to me don't have wifes anymore cause they really didn't like the farm life or they couldn't take the life as a truckers wife and the moms in my small town goes to bars and talk about sports and i'm not a sport person..lol.. but if you try this 1 site out called cafemom.com they may have moms in your area so you can do playdate or you can join groups to meet moms like you too, this is how i meet most of my mommy friends even if we are far apart they seem closer but if you wanna chat or anything leave me a message i donm't mind being a friend on the computer then we can vent and share ideas

Carrie - posted on 10/16/2009

hi i know how you feel...i have 3 kids too and think that turns people away...so girl you arent by yourself...



Carrie

Tricia - posted on 10/16/2009

i have one littel big drama queen other people have a hard time putting up with lol and shes 3. she love other kids and is super outgoing and for some reason that annoys most people. ya the stranger danger thing doesn't work haha. i couldn't handle 3 so major kudos to you!

Alison - posted on 10/16/2009

I guess I should have mentioned my kids ages, they are 4, 3, 7wks...I think that is part of my problem, it seemes like most of the moms out there only have 1 child, I think me out with my 3 kids is a bit intimidating for some of the other moms.

Tricia - posted on 10/16/2009

i feel the same way, almost. i have lived here for 4 years and have yet to find one other mom i can get along with and i dont know how to make friends either. so that doesnt help. plus my husband is in the ,marines and is deployed and i can barely rely on the few wives left behind also. I'm the only one with a kid out of all the other wives and friends so i defiantly feel like an social outcast

Alicia - posted on 10/16/2009

It is so so hard. I am sorry. I wish I lived closer...I'd totally come play!!! Feels like we are just too old to have to make new friends and it is so much effort! How old is your child/children?

You are doing the right things though...keep at it at the park and library. You are NOT the only lonely mom there, of that I am certain. I think it just takes time to break down the barriers and some people are just too timid. Sign up for classes or story times at the library, any community music class and playgroups you can. Also see if your area has a MOMS club (momsclub.org) or a MOPS group (mops.org)--they are great ways to meet moms. Go out for walks and keep an eye out for other moms. I met two really good friends out walking just a few weeks after my son was born. I know our mall has a indoor playplace and it is always full of people. What about your husband's work? Maybe he can help find coworkers with similar aged kids. Sometimes men have an easier time just being blunt about meeting people because they are not as critical or emotional as us!!!

I wish I had an easy answer for you. It just takes time and luck to stumble upon the people who are open to meeting new people. Hang in there. And if you just want some "e-company" feel free to send a note my way.