I have no motivation to clean...anyone else feel that way?

Samantha - posted on 11/10/2009 ( 119 moms have responded )

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I am a stay at home mom and most days I feel like doing nothing. And then all the chores pile up and then I feel so much stress about getting everything cleaned that it makes me even less motivated to do anything! Does anyone else get this way?

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Nichola - posted on 11/12/2009

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I hear all of you, great to know i'm not the only one. lol......It is hard getting motivated when all of your energy goes into entertaining a little person through the day, when my 11month old goes to bed I usually have to drag myself to the washing machine or vacuume cleaner resisting sitting down for some time to myself to do the things that are needing doing. So dissapointing when you have to do to all over again the following day too. :)

Ashley - posted on 11/12/2009

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every day its horrible! i dont know how to motivate myself to get anything done! especially when i know my daughter is going to destroy the house within minutes anyways.

[deleted account]

I feel that same way you do. It is even worse after you have a clean house and then you make diner and your kitchen is now a mess or you husband comes home and makes a mess. I feel your pain!

[deleted account]

Definetly feel the same way. I slack on housework a lot. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to clean & I let it go. It's okay to do nothing at all sometimes. When things pile up just take it one thing at a time. It's nice that my husband helps me out a lot, he's a Saint :) I give him chores that I won't do like cleaning the toilet, taking the trash out, cooking meals a few days a week & doing the dishes(until he buys me a dishwasher he can do them). We like to keep it 50/50. I'm not much of a multitasker so I get overwhelmed when I have to much to do. Thank God for my wonderful husband :)

Felicity - posted on 11/12/2009

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all the time! i try and do bits when my daughter is napping or having telly time, but most of the time i feel like just relaxing then or reading! i have found it easier to do a big clean at the weekend when my partner is off work to play with my daughter then in the week i only have to do little bits just to keep on top of things. dont worry too much though everyone is the same! being a mum can be exhausting!

Mary - posted on 11/12/2009

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I get this way quite a bit lately. With 5 children total at home plus a stepgranddaughter that I watch full time, its hard to get anything done. Then the days where I need to get things done, I am just to physically tired (did I mention I am 5 months pregnant). Somedays, I just have pride in the fact that I was able to put three homecooked meals on the table and get the kids to school on time :)

Suset - posted on 11/12/2009

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I doooooo! lol, my daughters are 6 years old and 2 months old. I stay at home, but I rarely ever feel up to cleaning. Today I actually got some laundry out of the way and feel quite accomplished at doing so. Luckily I have a husband that loves to help around the house, bad I still end up feeling bad about not being as helpful as I should be.

Miriam - posted on 11/12/2009

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My son keeps me up ALOT at night... so during the day the last thing I want to do is clean. I try to sneek a shower in during his first nap and then I tote him around the house to various "play stations" to keep him occupied while I do little chores. I used to set a timer for myself for different chores (did I mention I never liked to clean?) now he is my timer. Some days dishes don't find their way into the dishwasher or the vacuuming doesn't get done. Oh well. That's life. Enjoy your family and ask for help... that's what family and good friends are for. The company and support might get you out of your slump at least for a little while. if it doesn't keep enjoying 'you' time

Susan - posted on 11/12/2009

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i hate cleaning, so i never have the motivation. but when i cant ignore it anymore i do it. i also have a friend come and help. basically they help clean and guilt me into doing it too.

Danielle - posted on 11/12/2009

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YES YES YES... In fact i am debating whether to make a brew or get started on the dishes!!! The brew seems like the best one to go for at the mo...
I find it difficult to get motivated and laps quite often but generally find i feel so much better when i have done something, sometimes going for a walk gives me a bit of a boost to get me going.... I hope we all feel better soon, xx

Amanda - posted on 11/12/2009

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Ohhh trust me....as you can see, you are not alone!! I too am a stay at home mommy of a 2yr old, and I HATE housework!! I try to do laundry, vaccum & dust, but can't seem to do much else. My daughter likes helping me pick up her toys, so that is a fun game we play most every night before bedtime. It helps me out and she runs around, picking up her toys & laughing. Do I feel bad that the house suffers? Sure I do, but my time is better spent playing with my daughter and making memories with her. Housework is always there and will NEVER end, but our kids will grow and eventually move on...we can't get this time back with them. :)

Marianna - posted on 11/11/2009

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What a relief to find you all!!! I live in the middle of NOWHERE with my friends and family 10 hours away and we decided to have a baby. Now I am a SAHM with an eight month old. She sleeps all night and most of the day but I still feel that I never have enough time/energy to do anything- housework, laundry, shaving (getting kinda furry). I devote all of my love and attention to my child and have completely lost touch with myself. I have gained more weight than I did during pregnancy. I don't shower as often cause I don't go anywhere or do anything- I live in the BOONIES. I don't feel sexy anymore due to my lack of a figure which affects the sex life and my self esteem/confidence. Without drugs, I need a change. I need a motivator. I am glad this app exists and that some other wonderful moms out there are going through the same emotions. I look forward to reading more posts but it is already 1 am AGAIN. Geez.

Courtney - posted on 11/11/2009

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Janette... Girl, get outta my head, lol!!!  I am in the very exact same situation right down to every jot and tittle you just said.  Same thing with my household!!  I couldn't have said it better myself.



 



Quoting Janelle:

yes i do!!!.and i feel bad because my husband does most of the cleaning ,and he works 7 days a week 10 hours a day i feel bad because he does do the chores around the house i do help him sometimes but i don't get to far with it ... but if he does clean the house i will try to keep up with it as much as i can, but then there r times where he doesnt clean and i do it all ... it just seems that i don't have the time or energy to do the chore but i sit at home all day i don't get it ... most men don't do that so i consider being lucky to have a husband who clean's the house for me . i think being home all the time and spending most of ur time either yelling or playing with ur kids wears u out and when u get that chance to clean up u just want to spend some time to ur self .





 

Courtney - posted on 11/11/2009

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I DO, I DO!!!! Girl, my counter tops are so full of dishes right now its not even funny!! That and the laundry is just piling up. All of my kids are young, two of the four living are babies. Ages 3 and 11mos. The others aren't that old themselves, but I can emphatically say YES. I FEEL TIRED, WORE OUT, AND HAVE NO MOTIVATION LEFT IN ANY BONE OF MY BODY. Guess we can both take heart as it appears to be a fairly normal thing. Wish we could bottle up some of the energy our kids have. Heck, I'd not only use it myself like the next best drug to hit the market, I'd be the one puttin it on the market and makin me a buck or two, let me tell ya. LMBO!!

Janelle - posted on 11/11/2009

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yes i do!!!.and i feel bad because my husband does most of the cleaning ,and he works 7 days a week 10 hours a day i feel bad because he does do the chores around the house i do help him sometimes but i don't get to far with it ... but if he does clean the house i will try to keep up with it as much as i can, but then there r times where he doesnt clean and i do it all ... it just seems that i don't have the time or energy to do the chore but i sit at home all day i don't get it ... most men don't do that so i consider being lucky to have a husband who clean's the house for me . i think being home all the time and spending most of ur time either yelling or playing with ur kids wears u out and when u get that chance to clean up u just want to spend some time to ur self .

Lonna - posted on 11/11/2009

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Holly Mackerel, here I though I was all alone. One of my big problems is I will start a project, like Cleaning the fridg and while i'm doing that, my 4 year old is systematicly destroying every other room in the house. so then i'm further behind than ahead. don't get me started on the vicious cycle of laundry...i know my daughter hasn't worn that shirt since i washed it last...

Janet - posted on 11/11/2009

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OMG i thought i was alone i feel the same way i have to get everything clean before 3pm everyday and for the love of god im just not motivated to do it

Jennifer - posted on 11/11/2009

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I too have this problem! Well did have until recently and I still have my days. I have found that the Fly Lady facebook updates have really helped me gain motivation and realize I dont have to spend all day everyday cleaning in order to have a tidy home.

Meaghan - posted on 11/11/2009

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oh boy do i agree with you. and what makes it worse is when your other half comes homes and makes you feel like crap BECAUSE you feel like crap! and everyone always tells me that going for a short walk will help, but that just makes me feel hot and sticky. as long as your house is reasonably hygeinic, then i wouldn't stress too much.

Heather - posted on 11/11/2009

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I think this is an epidemic for stay at home moms. The more there is to do the less I want to do and the lazier I feel. Then it just gets worse. A lot of people think stay at home moms have it made. In many ways we do but it is still a really hard, lonely job that is overwhelming and thankless sometimes. Sometimes we just have to let the dishes and laundry pile up and we get sick of it in order to motivate!!!

Maria - posted on 11/11/2009

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Just do what you can when you can and don't worry about the rest of it. In my family, when someone has a "company" day (hosting holiday dinner, birthday party), we go help clean up and set up. Before one of my kids' birthday parties, I'll put a little more time into my daily cleaning about a week before, then the day before or early that morning, my sisters come over and help finish cleaning and getting everything ready.

Juli - posted on 11/11/2009

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Wow - what great responses from everyone :) I am at home, my kids are in elementary school and my husband works a ton of hours, he will help with meals on weekends and occasionally durning the week if I need help, but I still have issues with cleaning!!!! NOBODY wants to help!!! I have gotten so tired of cleaning and 5 minutes later the house is a wreck again...ha. I have been really tired lately and did go have a physical to find out if something was wrong with me and it turns out I am really healthy...lol it must just be me getting old...lol Well good luck to everyone and I say if you get something done during your day you have accomplished something :)

Maria - posted on 11/11/2009

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Yes! Almost everyday. My kids are 2 and 7 years old, and the 2yr old is more help than the 7 yr old. My husband and 7 yr old can run the washer and dryer so laundry isn't a top priority on a daily basis. When I have the time and energy, I focus on the living room first, setting a basket in the floor. My 2yr old thinks it's a game to throw socks and other dirty clothes out of the floor at the basket. She's afraid of the vacuum, so I do it when she's visiting grandma. Laundry gets folded after everyone's in bed and I'm watching my favorite TV shows. Load the dishwasher and wipe down the counters while supper is cooking. I give my 2yr old a damp washcloth and she "dusts." It's basically about prioritizing and sharing the work. And on days when you just don't have the energy, don't worry about it, it'll still be there tomorrow.

Ashley - posted on 11/11/2009

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I am the same way lately, I would rather play with my son or watch morning shows like Dr. Phil instead of cleaning. Some days I feel like doing it but most days I dont. I think it could be the change in weather, now that its chilly outside we cant take the kids for a walk or go play at the park as much so I dont leave me house like I used to in the summer. I am joining the gym this week and will be going daily in the mornings, Im hoping that will give me the energy and motivation I need. I also have 15 lbs extra still left to lose from my pre-pregnancy weight that I think unmotivates me cause I feel fat and lazy. lol

Samantha - posted on 11/11/2009

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I wish my husband would help me! He works until late and on weekends he goes out hunting with his friends. And when I ask him to help me all he says is that he works and I sit at home all day! Its very frustrating. He does help out with dinner sometimes but always leaves his dishes on the table then goes and sits in front of the tv. I need to retrain my husband!!

April - posted on 11/11/2009

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yes, its become monotonous to me! i get so tired of cleaning the same things over & over & over. & the children dont help the situation either. but i have a great hubby, on his days off he will help me clean, and we do it together. and sometimes, he'll keep the children occupied while i clean.

Lupe-Monica - posted on 11/11/2009

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LOL no motivation=us complaining to each other of this thing instead of cleaning lol i have my days and just relax as sahm we have the right to we have no sick pay vaction time we dont get paid for overtime so we are allowed to be lazy once in a while!! Its ok!!

Julie - posted on 11/11/2009

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I am a SAHM with a 2 year old and a 4 month old. Most days I am happy to have something for dinner when my husband comes home. He is beginning to realize that just our daughters is a big job.
Don't let yourself believe you are not doing anything. All the time you play with your children and nurture them is doing the most important thing in the world...molding them into the people they will become.
I have started doing better about the chores after reading things on FLYLADY.net. The idea that you are not behind, you start where you are and take it in small time increments has made a real difference in how I look at things. Most important, maybe, is the idea that I need to get up in the morning, dress and put on makeup every day to make myself ready for what the day holds.
Those were some things that have helped me. Hope they will encourage you.

Samantha - posted on 11/11/2009

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Thanks everyone. I really appreciate all the encouragment! I am going to get a check up next week to see if there is anything medical that is causing my fatigue! I had problems with my blood sugar when I was pregnant with my last baby, who turned 1 today, and I'm thinking that that is what is bothering me again! I have started to make a list and I pick 5 things that I need to get done during the day. Im hoping it helps but I've just been so tired lately.

Margaret - posted on 11/11/2009

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Over the years I have found myself less and less motivated to do housework daily and I am the kind of person that is very house proud. I am more motivated in the spring and summer than in the winter.

Tiffany - posted on 11/11/2009

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It is so hard when you give every moment to your children and when they are sleeping are rushing to do housework! I have gone throught the rut myself. I am the mother of two wonderful babies...Hunter 18m and Aubrey 4m. I just had to realize that being a stay at home mom ment that that is my job. Having such young children, that only leaves myself and my husband to do the housework. He works outside of the home, and I work in it. I do put off the dishes and laundry when I can because happier kids are better than a perfect house...but I feel it's my responsibility to give them a clean place to call home. Remember to ask for help- my Momma comes over to help every now and then...I also have them spend time with my brother and his wife for an afternoon, long enough for me to clean house and take a nice bath...

Erin - posted on 11/11/2009

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i have hypothirodism, it causes fatige and leaves me completely unmotivated. there is a simple blood test to check for this. if you have this problem there are pills to control it, when i started taking them i really felt as though i got my life back.

Jessica - posted on 11/11/2009

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I feel that way a lot. i feel if you clean as you go there is less work to be done. I am always reminded that if I am to tired or to stress the chores can wait it is always keen to take care of yourself first. because if your not up to par your family wont be neither. if you get too stress take time out for yourself

Samantha - posted on 11/11/2009

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I clean when I have to... But most of the time I just get my partner to tidy up if I don't want to.

Terri - posted on 11/11/2009

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I do, I do!! I use to be such a clean freak but since I had twin boys I can't seem to get up the energy to do any cleaning. I do good to keep the dishes washed and the laundry washed and dried (forget about folding and putting up!). I breastfeed and I think that does take alot of energy from you. Just wanted to let you know you aren't the only one, but just remember that the people who come to see you are there to see YOU, not your house. One day you will get a burst of energy and do it all in one day! Goodluck!

[deleted account]

Yes I do sometimes feel that way so I try to reward myself : ))) I say after I've finished I go out for a cuppa with my friends or plan a day shopping and say if the housework ain't done I'll have to cancelle it, it works with me hope it does for you too.

Stacey - posted on 11/11/2009

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Well, after reading all the posts I too agree with everyone here! You are normal, Dont let all the little things bother you! Clean 1 room each day of your choice! Your children are the most important thing now and you need to value every day with them. I have 2 small children and a very big house, so I pick bedrooms 1 day, family rm, living area, dining rm the next day, basement is finished wide open space the 3rd day, Kitchen gets cleaned everyday, Vacuum everyother day. But, i have had this routine for awhile and i am used to it. I do not clean in the evenings or on weekends. That is set aside for family,friends time. Do what you can and dont sweat it.

Jennifer - posted on 11/11/2009

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All the time! The best advice I have been given is "Don't think, just do." "Start where your feet are--do whatever is right in front of you." And "how do you eat an elephant--one piece at a time." All of this from mothers who have been where I am.

I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of 5, and my husband works on the West Coast, with the rest of us at home in the Midwest. Do what you can, and don't be too hard on yourself. When I was where you are, I used to complete one task and then reward myself by 10 or 15 minutes of reading a book, or playing on my computer :) Try to do something every day, starting with taking care of yourself--make your bed, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast. You will make it. :)

Jennifer - posted on 11/11/2009

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Yep, most of the time I just play with my little girl. But then the things do start to pile up and I have to clean. But she will only be this age one time so I try to spend as much time with her, the cleaning will always have to be done. So I agree with so many who say enjoy your child and worry less about cleaning.

Candace - posted on 11/11/2009

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Oh Samantha...do I ever! I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old, both girls. I've learned to do one "big" thing a day. I'll vacuum one day, dust the next. Just start in the morning, before turning on the television or before going to the store (right after dropping the kids off at school). By 2pm I'm exhausted, but find that if I give the girls "dress-up" clothes to play in, they'll keep themselves occupied for at least 30-45 minutes. That's enough time for coffee and "me-time!"

Cara - posted on 11/11/2009

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Whew!! I thought that I was the only one feeling like this. This is great to know that I am not the only one!! I homeschool my son who is seven and I have a three year old daughter also. She loves to "help" me when I decide to clean which is to make a mess of what I just cleaned up!!! aahhh. I try to make myself motivated and do something everyday. Maybe like sweeping the whole house one day and cleaning the kitchen anohter day, etc It does not always work but I am not motivated at all!! It's tiring homeschooling and having a three year old following you around and trying to clean the house too all at the same time!! But I also think that spending time with the kids is impoprtant too. They will not be around forever. I hope that your husband (if you have one) is very understanding when it comes to this. Mine is not always but he is learning to keep his mouth shut. hahaha

Karen - posted on 11/11/2009

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I, too, have felt like you. I'm a mother of 7, 5 of them have grown and left the home. I do agree that time with your children is of the utmost importance! But from my experience, with that mindset, I found that in reality my house became more and more unorganized and I found myself having less and less "quality" time with my children because we could never find anything and life was total chaos!!! Then I came across Flylady.net. She gave me the encouragement I needed! You cannot let your housework overwhelm you and that's exactly what flylady teaches... You will learn things like - "baby steps" "you can do ANYTHING for 10 minutes" "27 fling boogie" "weekly home blessing". FLYLADY is a free resource...it is WONDERFULLY AMAZING! go to: http://www.flylady.net/pages/get_started... and check out the flying lessons. The fact that you are on "circle of moms" and that you are asking for advice shows how wonderful of a mom you are! I pray that you will find the encouragement you need!!!

Pallavi - posted on 11/11/2009

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You sure are not alone.
Yes being a stay at home mom with no help and being alone does stree one out and make you feel demotivated.
Don't feel like getting out of bed. Chores leave one with no time to interact or even have a conversation and by th etime your husband is back you are too tired to have a decent conversation .
the grind goes on the clock keeps on ticking.

Aisa - posted on 11/11/2009

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your not alone some days are worse than others and i dont do anything at all but as soon as my son is asleep i get up and do a little each time

Fiona - posted on 11/11/2009

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I feel exactly the same since I finished my part-time job in June I have had no motivation to do housework it seems like its Groundhog Days!!

[deleted account]

Yes been that way for years and i still havent found a way to motivate myself and its got worse since i got a computer

Grace - posted on 11/11/2009

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I can completely relate to that. I don't know how old your children are but mine are counter forces that run around behind me with determination messing up everything I've just cleaned up!
Are you ok in yourself though in other ways? because if you are feeling a bit down, even depressed, it can be really difficult to motivate yourself to do anything and it might mean that you need to take a bit of extra care of yourself just now and let some other people help you a bit more and take the pressure of a bit. Being a Mum can be really hard work! If I start feeling a bit run down I usually find that some St John's wort tablets give me a bit of a boost. God bless.

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