I just dont really know.....

Stephanie - posted on 05/02/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I could write a whole story about how things are goin but I'll try keeping it brief.
i started feeling a little depressed a few months ago, I've been a stay at home mom for a little over two years now. I have a 26month old little boy, and a 7 month old little girl. I love my kids like nothing eles, Id do anything for them but lately I feel so selfish. I get fusterated so easily, im tired all the time, I live in a small town of maybe 3000 people, theres no where to go and nothing to do, It rains ALLL the time, I feel trapped.
My husband works from 5 in the morning till 6 at night, theres not much time for us let alone sometime for me unless i want to stay up till 9 or 10 (after ive put the kids to bed an tided up) Id rather just sleep.
Things got better for a little while, I started meeting up with some old friends after the kids an husband where in bed. I felt happier, there wasnt this empty feeling anymore. Then my husband got jealous, and got angrey with me for going an visiting friends.. he said I was "neglecting my kids an him" which is rediculous cuz they were all in bed. I stopped going an meeting with people, I stopped having people over because I just felt guilty, I couldnt enjy myself without thinking about what i was goin to come home to or what i would hear the next day when he got home.
Im only 22 but Ive always known i wanted to be a young mom, this was a choice i made for my self, but at times I feel like maybe i should have waited a little longer, did the selfish young ME time.
The hardest part is that no one around me seems to understand how i feel. All i get is a shoulder shrug an a " oh your just being silly"
I dont know what im really expecting from this post, I just needed some where to vent. Sometimes talking to strangers is better then talking to close family or friends.

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3 Comments

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Katherine - posted on 05/02/2011

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It's really too bad that's he's treating you that way. Having two young kids is A LOT of work. I too have a 26mo and she is tiring!! Your husband needs to be more understanding and you need to not feel guilty because you deserve every bit of it especially with the depression setting in. There are also mommy groups to join @ meetup.com and maybe your local library has groups? I would continue going out though, after all, they are all asleep!!!!
Also if you need a "true" place to vent, try this: http://www.circleofmoms.com/moms-who-nee...

Brianna - posted on 05/02/2011

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i no how u feel. i didnt plan on being a young mom.. i got pregnant at the age of 20. there are many times i really wish i could of had my daughter later in life.. my hubby doesnt understand how i feel at all and its soo fustrating. I see all my old friends going out, partying, doing whatever they please and im jealous of that. I found that a good way to socialize is going to mom and tot swim where ive met lots of other moms (im the youngest though) this way i can socialize while my daughter plays and swims we both really enjoy it.

Sharon - posted on 05/02/2011

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Ladies, My kids are almost grown but I feel for you. There were times I felt the same way ya'all did. I was a home body who didn't want to to go out and meet people. Parks are great ways to meet new moms or start your own mom group. You will find you are probably not the only ones. Stephanie, explain to your hubby how you feel and that you need some time away from the kids. Speaking from experience, it is hard not to feel guilty but moms, just like everyone else, need some "me" time. It re-energizes your batteries and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It make you a better mom when you are refreshed and ready to go.

Brittney - posted on 05/02/2011

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i know exactly how u feel. i feel the same way just without the small town and old friends to visit, i have none. lol. i spend all my time sitting in my house with a 15 month old and do nothing but take care of him and his dad. who is hardly ever home works all day and then goes out at night, and makes it home with just enough time to shower and go to bed. i feel so alone and my husband does keep telling me to go out and get a life outside of being a mommy, but i really have no good friends and nowhere to go, so i just say no and stay home. i have no idea how to get rid of this alone feeling either, and the worst part is.....im about six months pregnant with our second child. I completely understand how u feel.