Sarah - posted on 11/18/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )
I'm 23, and have three kids aged 8 months, 2 years, and 3 years old. My husband and I moved to our town when my first was only 7months old, and I have been unable to make any close friends. I have been a SAHM since I found out I was pregnant with my last, and only worked nights part time before that. I've been at home with my kids nearly every waking second of theirs, and I love that I am able to do so. However, I periodically go through these spells where I feel incredibly overwhelmed, lonely, and a little resentful that I am so obligated to be "on call" 24/7. I feel like I'm constantly doing something I have to, and never what I want to. But whenever anyone offers to help out, to watch the kids, I feel insulted; as if they've suggested I'm not capable of handling it on my own. I get angry when my husband insinuates that the housework needs more attention, but when his mom asks if I want her to come help me catch up, I just get irritated. What is wrong with me? I can counsel others all day long to accept help, set pride aside, and recognize that they can't do it alone, but when it comes to myself I feel like I SHOULD be supermom. I want to keep a perfect home, raise well-behaved and well-adjusted children, cook healthy meals every day, and be the perfect, beautiful wife my hard-working husband deserves. At the same time, I want to have more free time, I want my MIL off my back, and for my husband to help out more. I know that both of these scenarios are unrealistic, but I can't stop beating myself up about the first and walking around with a chip on my shoulder because of the second. I don't know what to do to help myself become okay with not being perfect...has anyone else ever felt this way? I feel like I'm going crazy!