i need an honist oppinon

Jessica - posted on 04/02/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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my best friend is in a predicament, she doesn't believe in turmating her baby but the doctor said she would die if she didn't on one hand shes killing her child on the other she dies if she coses not to is that suicied?? shes is very concerned

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Paula - posted on 04/07/2010

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i think she should go to god with this if it is his will for her and her baby to live that cant no dr. change that! i had my son at 5months it can be done i dont care what they say have the baby c section early if she has to save her and the baby god will make the choice not them i think she should see a high risk ob gyn good luck and all the best for your friend

Kyle - posted on 04/07/2010

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I am assuming that since you said she was afraid God would punish her for suicide then she is a christian. If that is correct then my opinion on this would be not to terminate and let Gods will be done. yes, if she does have this baby then she might die but it is not suicide because she is not intentionally killing herself. If she terminates the baby then it is taking a life. God gives us these blessings and we are to trust him. you never know, doctors are not always right. there have been many cases i know about where doctors say someone won't survive and they do. one was one of my friends were in a really bad car accident at age 16 and the dr's told her parents she would be dead before they could make the 4 hour trip to the hospital. she is now almost 30 and just gave birth to her second child. they did not turn off the machines because they knew God CAN make miracles happen. and he did. I have a baby story too but to make it short dr's said baby would not survive full term and if he did he would have brain damage and physical disability. well he survived and is a perfectly healthy little boy now. Whatever she chooses I hope she finds peace in her decision.

Krystal - posted on 04/02/2010

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she will probs have to have a c section or will have to deliver the baby, 6 months is too far for her to abort it, my sister was 5.5 months into her pregnancy when they found the baby had a no chambers in her heart it was just one big whole, and her stomach was on the side of her tummy and her internal organs where all connected wrong, and she had 2 tubes blocked coming from her heart and the tubes where in the wrong places, she was only alive through my sisters oxygen, so they gave the baby an injection to stop her heart beating and my sister had to deliver her vaginally. if there is not much wrong with the baby and if she does deliver there could be a chance the baby could servive, there was something i had read in one of those magazines that have true storys in them and there was a baby that was born at 23 weeks and the little girl servived. your friend is 28 weeks and the cut of for an abortion is 26 but even then the baby can actually servive. i honestly think the highest it should be is 16 weeks. the pregnancy book i have (im reading it now) it says that from 24 weeks the baby has a chance of servival if it is born. so at 28 weeks her baby will probably be born alive unless they give an injection to stop the heart. deffinatley talk to more doctors and get a second and third oppinion. because if there is nothin wrong with the baby she/he should be able to servive, the baby will probably need help with breathing and stuff but they can servive, i was watchin one born every minute and on one of the episodes a baby was born at 27 weeks and she servived and went home like 2-3 months later. hope this helps in some way. hope your friend gets to keep her baby. she and her baby will be in my thoughts. and i wish her all the best. best wishes. xxx

Kim - posted on 04/02/2010

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Well if she doesn't end the pregnancy she will die and the baby will die right? So she has to be realistic and end the pregnancy. Hugs and prayers for your friend. What a horrible thing to face.

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Merry - posted on 03/18/2011

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Jessica, what happened with your friends baby? I see this was almost a year ago, did the baby survive?

Krystal - posted on 04/02/2010

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thats ok, my sister went through so much then, the only reason they gave the baby the injection was because even if she went fall term the baby wouldnt be able to servive because she had so many defects, but the only reason she had those defects was because my sister and the babys father has the same gene missing. my sister has 2 children though, her first son is 6 and her daughter is 16 months now, they dont have the same dad but they are both perfactly formed. she is no longer with the father of lilly (the baby they lost) as their relationship broke down when they lost lilly (lilly would of been 3 now if she had of servived). its so heart breaking to see a baby that young to be burried, her coffin was so tiny. anyway, like i said if there is nothing seriously wrong with her son, her son should be given a chance of seviving and the chance of life ecspecially if she does not want to kill her baby. if there is something wrong like there was with my niece then i can understand but there doesnt sound like there is much wrong with her son and her son is at an age of servival. im 19 and i am a mum myself my son is 11 months old and im pregnant with our second and i can't imagine the heart ache and pain my sister went through. losing a baby is always hard even if it is a neice or nephew or even just a close friends baby it still affects you. but deffinately get more oppinions there are other ways. im not sure what to say about the god stuff, i personally am not sure if i believe in god but people who do beleive in god they get a great comfort knowing he is watching over them and helping them through this hard time. i dont think he would punish her, god is suppost to be the one to help heal pain and he is suppost to be forgiving and understanding and this situation is not her fault and if her baby doesnt servive he should understand that there was nothing she could do about it. but i honestly think her baby has a very good chance of serviving and she sounds like she is trying to do everything she can to not have her baby aborted, god should see how much she is trying to fight for her baby, why would he punish her for that. there is only so much us humans and nature can do and sometimes it is just not ment to be. but like i said i think her baby has a very good chance of serviving. please keep me updated on this. i hope everything goes well, and i really hope her little boy servives, il be praying for her and i hope it will help. my very best wishes.

krystal xxx

Sunshine - posted on 04/02/2010

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Either way you are taking a life. Me personally would terminate the pregnancy not being selfish but there are always ways to have another or try again. It may not happen again twice but you never know. No one knows the baby but a lot of people know the girl & she would just hurt a lot of family & friends.. But that is her decision to make no one else's she needs to do what she feels is right cause we can't make that decision for her:( I hope everything is okay & everything gets better! Good Luck with everything!

Jessica - posted on 04/02/2010

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oh that was sooo encouraging!!! thank u krysral! i hope she does too cuz shes wanted this baby for soooo long!!!!! it would kill her if they had to kill her baby i know she would chose its life over his...( it's a boy) but she was wories god would punish her for "suicide" i'm going to call her right now!!

Jessica - posted on 04/02/2010

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thank u all for ur imput i think she will be very happy to hear this i know i am

Grace - posted on 04/02/2010

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I agree with Sarah, she should get a second opinion! In many places a termination that late (I think no matter the reason) is illegal. I think that the cut off time is 26 weeks. But truly the baby could possibly be delivered alive and still survive this young. It'd be a better predicament then just terminating.

Jessica - posted on 04/02/2010

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there was something about the baby not davelaping right i could hardly understand her over the phone threw her sobs

Sarah - posted on 04/02/2010

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Why can't the doctors deliver the baby early? If she is 6 months pregnant then she would be around 24 weeks along and a baby can survive at 24 weeks. Yes there can be complications delivering a baby that early, but she would not have to terminate the baby. I would encourage her to get a second opinion.

Jessica - posted on 04/02/2010

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i'm not shore what the condition is called but shes bleeding slowly threw the sack. she is only 6 months along but has been waiting to have a child for many years this might be her only chance but if she choses to stick it out and dies shes afraid it would be considered suicide becouse she chose to die. it would be a chose.

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