i need help. my husband does not care when i talk.

Amanda - posted on 08/01/2012

I know how you feel. I just sat down trying to tell my husband something about work and totally ignored me. Then he went outside to check on the Bar-B-Q and started talking to the neighbor right away. Had no problem having a conversation. Same thing with the games on the computer. A friend will call him and then he goes right on the computer to play an online game. But when I ask him to do something sometimes it happens weeks later or sometimes never. I work all day and then come home, take care of the house and our 4 kids and go to school online when they go to sleep. It just gets so lonely when your own spouse won't listen or talk. Thankfully I work with great people and get some adult conversation in there. Ok I'm done venting now sorry. I hope everything works out for you.

Nadine - posted on 03/08/2010

first of all your man should never tell you he doesn't care when you are talking. Keep talking it out. Hope things get better.

Jessica - posted on 03/07/2010

OMG my fiance has been like this lately, I totally know what you mean. I'm a SAHM too and don't really get to talk to people much... he has always told me I need to open up more, talk more. But lately whenever I TRY (even if it isn't about something particularly interesting, like you said) he just gives one word answers, or grunts, or acts like he completely hasn't heard a word I said. OR a few times he's even gotten snappy with me. I can't believe he's acting like that. I wouldn't reccomend my approach though lol- I just up and snapped at him, and it didn't go over well because he just got defensive and pissy. We haven't actually sat down and talked about whatever it is that's going on yet- which it sounds like you have so that's great! I can say that usually whenever my DF gets like that, it usually means there's something else going on bothering him (like at work, or something) but that he isn't ready to talk about yet.

Kristin - posted on 03/07/2010

I totally understand where you are right now and I'm glad to hear that you've started talking a bit. It's hard when you don't really have any friends around you. Especially when all you want is a little grown up conversation about ANYTHING.



I'm sorry if this bit hurts a little, but you still need to build a bit of a support system where you are now. Women need other women to talk to and get support from. We need friends outside of our marriages. It will give you more to talk about with your husband if you have things that you go do without him. And it will make it possible for you to have the occasional date night and potentially other grow up things. Good luck and I wish I could be of more help.

Tracey - posted on 03/06/2010

thank you carolee. yeah i told him that he was being rude and that there are things we need to work on. and we talked it was nice. normally i don't get really upset when he does this, but he has been expecting me to do so much and i can't really meet his expectations and he has now seen that light. which is nice. as for my friends support i lived in arizona and now live in tennessee. it just gets hard talking to people on the phone all the time. but everything is a work in progress.

Carolee - posted on 03/06/2010

Honestly, when my husband gets like that (thankfully not often), I will look him dead in the face and tell him that he is being an inconsiderate asshole, and I'm sick of his attitude towards me. After that, we have an argument, make up, and cuddle... then things are fine and he pays attention to me for a couple of weeks until I have to remind him that pregnant women and SAHM's need more attention than working moms since we don't have much communication with the outside world. He apologizes and explains that he forgets that I don't have anybody to talk to, then we start talking.



I know full-well that my approach will NOT work for everybody, but I just thought I'd let you know what I do... and I completely understand if you don't do it. Subtle just NEVER has worked with my husband, and thankfully, he knows it.

Judy - posted on 03/06/2010

How old is your first? It sounds like you are lonely and maybe depressed. no one like being alone especially when pregnant and emotions are running high. Search out some support for yourself. Join a playgroup or a preschool MOPS is great. You need to find friends that are your friends not your husbands. Where is your friends support in all of this? Sometimes hubby don't know how to listen to women TALK. They think they need to FIX it instead of just listening. Finding another outlet for your need to just gab will help you build self confidence and interests.