i need help...my son has been taken by Doc's!!!

Rachael - posted on 07/29/2009 ( 29 moms have responded )

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help!

i really dont know how to handle this it hurts to much! i would never hurt my child i love him to much,

ok i will start at the begining...



two weeks ago i noticed a lunp on my sons arm so i took him to the doctors (i was concirned) the doctors sent him for an x-ray and found two broken bones...

when we took him to the hospital they had done a full body scan and found another broken bone (altogether 3 breaks)

they asked us how it happened...and i still say to this day that i really dont know...when a bone specilist looked at the scans the noticed that the breakes were ruffly 5weeks old...

and it was classed as non acerdental...so naturally doc's were informed...

when i had my interview i had told the doc's worker that thru the past there was a few miner incedents that happened with his father..and stuff

but i didnt think his dad could intensionaly harm his own son.



now docs has taken my son and placed him in foster care untill they finish the investigation and crap.

it is really hard i cant cope...i dont know what to do...

my son is only 8 an a half months...

he didnt even show he was in any type of pain what so ever....

can anyone help me??

im having trouble trying to get by...

if you can help it is most appreciated...thanks

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Rachael - posted on 09/01/2009

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hey all,

i hate to say this but i still dont have my son back!

were still going to court and they still havent figured out how the breaks happened

im going to councelling once a week, and i dont live at home anymore my mother is no longer in the picture she is being a real cow.

she has kicked me out when i needed her most.

im back on my anti-depressions and i am now on sleeping tablets im trying to get by and suprisingly i am able to do it.

it still hurts but i am able to cope.

i get to see my son once a week and it is the best two hours of the week.

i got my "L"s yesterday (finally) so thats a plus :)

xoxox

Diane - posted on 08/28/2009

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Hi Rachael' Hows things going now, hope everything has come right for you and you feeling much better in yourself, Diane, xx

Rachael - posted on 08/01/2009

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thank you to all you parents that are giving me adbise/help.

it means alot to me.

diane u asked if i had family of friends that could upport me...well the truth is not really no.

my family has gone thru alot in the past two months we have had two family members pass away also my uncle is an alcoholic and is fighting in court cause of his drinking problem and my friends? well all i gotta say is...who are they anymore?!...i havent heard from any of them since i came back home they are spredding roumers and saying shit behind my back it really hurts cause even my so called "best friend" isnt talking to me.

the only real support i have is my mother, though i can amit that there is one thing thats good that has come out of all this and that is...

it has brought me and my mother closer together, before all this i never really confided in or talked to my mother (even thou i live with her) and now i can say that this situation has strenghten our relationship ten fold.



im still having trouble finding courses but i am going to ring around on momday after the court hearing and see what i can find, i am going to contact centerlink, hospital, doc's (again). is there any other places you all reccon i should try??



when i see my solicitor tomorrow i will ask him to, thou i have to admit it is had to get in contact with him..lol..

thank you again for your concirn and support.



rachie

xoxox

Kayce - posted on 08/01/2009

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I know in the states you will have to go through some parenting classes and they will do some supervised visitations. Then once you get your son back they will do suprise inspections and at home visits for awhile. I would try to keep as little contact with the father as possible. Once you get your son back and if you choose not to be with the father I would seek to get primary custody of your son and do some supervised visitations with the father if that is what you choose. You can have it court appointed that he do some anger management and see some counseling before you can see your son. As they have stated I would document everything from now on and if you have someone sit for you I would ask for references if they are not a family or close friend. You can never be to cautious these days. I have never experienced this but I am sure it is hard to go through. Just stay strong and pray for the best.

I can say that my stepdaughters stepdad went through some criminal court but was aquited for murder of his 23month old stepchild and even though he was aquited we worry every single day about her safety when she is in her mothers home. Only when he is deployed do we not worry so much. It will always be in the back of our minds if he actually played a part in the abuse or not.

Suzanne - posted on 08/01/2009

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do what they say, be friendly with the social worker, and maybe there is a possibility he did hurt the child,

Autum - posted on 08/01/2009

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if you and the babys dad are not together take pics of the baby before he go's to his dads and when he gets home and date them so you have prof that you are not harming your baby most of all Pray give it to God He is there for you any time of the day. if your baby falls write it down the time and date that it happen.

Jane - posted on 07/31/2009

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most hospitals have parenting classes but ask your case worker and lawyer too. his dad needs to be in therapy and a restraining order and you need to be in therapy, too. there is nothing more important than your child. some people just don't know how to handle children, so intentional or not, his father needs to get himself in order and you may need to keep him out of your sons life unless and/or until he can get himself together. some people are just not meant to be parents, there's no shame in it. just figure it out before anything horrifying happens again.

Teliah - posted on 07/31/2009

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Hi Rach, I hope everything turns out in the best interests of bubby and hopefully for yourself too. The only parenting course I have thought of so far is Triple P, but I am not sure what age is the youngest age it is aimed at, but still would help for future reference I am sure. I have been told of courses that Docs put parents through that are aiming to better their parenting and usually get their children back, so I agree with previous poster that you should ring them asap, Monday perhaps, or go into your local office and maybe even Centrelink might have information on the classes. I guess the sooner you can get onto it, the quicker you can commence and begin to move forward and to heal this situation. If I can remember the name of these classes, I'll post it on here if you haven't found out in the while. I am in Brisbane Aus but I'm sure we would all have similar resources state-to-state? Good luck:-)

Casey - posted on 07/31/2009

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Do they have a citizens advice bureau? or call the docs office and ask them, they'll know.

Rachael - posted on 07/31/2009

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hi agin,

mo my mother cant take custidy of my son while this is all happening for a couple of reasons....

1.we were living with her when the breakes happened and until they find out how he broke his arm anyone who has looked after lachlan in the past 6wks is classed as a susspect.

2.i am still living with her (if it had tured out i did it n im still living with her she cant take him)



things like that.

i have my first councelling appointment on tuesday its going to be interesting...i dont really like to open up much, and there is alot of topics that will be adressed that runs back till i was only 5.

while its on my mind does any of you parents know of any good courses i could get into? i mean like parenting courses...i have rattled my brain and i still come up empty...

im in new south wales australia if that helps.

rachie

xoxox

Casey - posted on 07/31/2009

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excellent job, you are doing everything you can, yes i agree with allison, can your mother or sister be considered for guardianship until everything is sorted?

Aly - posted on 07/31/2009

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I have never been in this type of situation before, but I hope that everything works out for the best. Keep your head up and stay positive. Just remember everything happens for a reason, even though we don't know why and might not even find out. Have Faith!!

--- - posted on 07/31/2009

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good for you rachel. you have made an important step. your child is number one and I am sure when the courts see that the dad is no longer there and you are seeking support they will integrate your son back into your home.
I wish you luck, If you have not read of the tragic death of little baby peter I suggest you do. It is eye opening of what can happen when a mother chooses her spouse over her children and it sadly starts just like your boy, just a few small injuries. I am sure you have now realized that things can turn ugly fast. I would be very selective of who you let in to your sons life from now on. We are strong women these days and WE DO NOT NEED MEN! we do not need men to help us, to make us feel good about our selves or to take care of us. What ever you do in life make it the best for you and your son. don't settle for ANY man.

[deleted account]

good luck buy any chance do you live with a parent or family member that can vouch and take custody until the courts give your son back ./

Rachael - posted on 07/31/2009

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hey thnks again,

just so u know the father has moved out,

i have said that i will chose my son over the relationship of me an his father....

i know the safetl of my son is more inportant its just hard to be apart.

just so you all know i am going to councelling now and enrolling myself into parenting courses just to show doc's that i am keen.



i have my next court hearing monday the 3rd of august...hopefully they come to the agreement of letting me see my son more then once a week...if not anything else.



i will let you all know how it goes on monday, if there is anythikng that u would like to know about this situation just ask thnks to all of you again.

rachie

xoxo

[deleted account]

I know from a personal exp. my husband had a previous daughter that was taken from him because her mother abused her and the judge wouldn't give him custody cause he lived with her and it wasn't as bad as your case is with the broken bones.. You will have to show you aren't with him and also maybe ask for order of protection ... please keep us posted if you want you can email me with any questions

Casey - posted on 07/31/2009

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I have a friend who is a social worker and they don't just randomly take children away. Ask husband /partner to leave the home until the investigation has being carried out. If he truly is innocent and this will help you get your son back then he shouldn't mind if it will reunite you with your baby?

Jodee - posted on 07/30/2009

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I totally agree! When it comes to being cruel or mean to a child, there are no "accidents". If your husband has EVER lost his temper with your son ( a defenseless infant) then your husband needs to go to anger management classes. Take my word for it, if the matter ever comes before a judge, and the judge believes that you allowed your child to be harmed because you stayed in an abusive situation, BOTH of you will lose your child. I've seen it happen before! Don't make excuses for your husbands unacceptable actions!

Joanne - posted on 07/30/2009

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your main priority is your son , and if their is any doubts in your mind about your partner then you need to put your feelings aside for the father, and focus on what is best for the child, ask yourself these questions , are you a hundred percent positive your partner did not hurt your baby and if their is a doubt then fight to get your child back on your own but if you are sure that he didnt find out who did ,docs are just trying to protect your child and you as a loving mother should want to find out who hurt your baby , that baby needs you to be strong ,fight for that child and no matter what always keep in your mind what is best for that baby , not what is best for you , i come from a abusive background and i wished my mum had the strength to stand up and fight for us take care and look for the truth.

Kelly - posted on 07/30/2009

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I have to agree. Hard as it may be, if there is the chance that his dad has accidentally been too rough with him and harmed him in any way, that baby should never be forced to live with him again. If you are unwilling to get away from the man, then you are choosing him over your child, which happens all the time, but don't force your son to pay that price. Let him go. Sometimes you have to make a choice. That may be harsh, but that little boy does not deserve to be hurt again. Next time it will probably be much worse.

--- - posted on 07/30/2009

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do you live with the dad? if he has gotten rough with him then it is in his best intrest to have been removed from the home where his father resides. and if you stay with a man who broke your sons bones than you are an enabler of the abuse and are just as guilty. My sugestion is to leave the dad and try to get him back. If the dad did do this to him and he is still in the home they will not let the baby return to the home.

Tracy - posted on 07/30/2009

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Rachael I really feel for you but his father taking his frustration out on your son is just so wrong. Even if it was a accident and was not the cause of the problem.

I love my husband but if he ever laid a finger on our son and hurt or even took his frustration out on me or his son I would have his bags packed and out the door. I have a zero tolerance for any type of ABUSE. I grew up with domestic voilence all around me and most of my brothers and sisters have subjected to physical abuse or emotional abuse too. It made me angry for many years that my parents would allow this to happen. Both my parents never wanted to be alone and went from one destructive relationship to another. I almost called DOC's on my own mother but she moved away and dropped contact with me before I could. I still regret not acting quick enough as I know things now that happened to my younger siblings that makes my skin crawl!.

I wish you all this best but sounds like it might be good idea for both of you talk to a counsellor.

Rachael - posted on 07/30/2009

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thnks for your concirn parents,
now some of you ased/said that they will do more test...well they already have done them and it shows his bones are not fragile of anything wrong with them...
one of u asked if the about the father hurting my son intentionaly,....well
there has been a few incedents were he has gotten frustrated and accerdently taken it out on my son...though i know he couldnt harm little lachlan intentionaly espesially breaking his arm....
i do have a lawyer and he says that i have a good fighting chance to get him bac...
though i do have some good news on the situation....
not to long ago i had came up with an incedend that may have been the cause off the breakes,
Doc's are investigating this recent discovery now and hopefully it is the cause...because if it is then it will be classed as acerdental and my baby boi will be able to come home to me...
i am praying...mind you i never do it really...but i am trying to everything in my power (that is within the law) to get my son back...he is my world and my everything...and it hurts to much to be away from him....

thnks again parents and other suggestions/advise is still most appreciated
thanks you soooo much for your show of support
rachael
xoxox

[deleted account]

I am so sorry I'd speak to a lawyer and send him for more further testing.... are you still with the father that can also have an impact on the situation

Tracy - posted on 07/30/2009

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What happened with his dad? You mention that his dad would'nt intensionally hurt your son. What do you mean? Did your son fall or something of that nature? Hopefully they find the cause of the problem. I know it must be hard being away from your son but they are just looking out for your little one. All you can do is investigate the situation yourself. Anyone that has looked after him etc and ask them of anything that may have happened that may cause a break. My little man has always been keen to go and started walking early and had some bad tumbles but has never broken a bone. I do hope all is sorted out and you are reunited with your son soon. If no one has hurt your son intentionally then you have nothing to fear.

Krystle - posted on 07/30/2009

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get them do do more tests. there has been many of shild tat has been born with a desease that causes them to break bones. just remember that things always happen for the right reason. it may not feel like it at the moment but it always does. my mum always says that and i never believe her but it always works out

Jodee - posted on 07/29/2009

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PRAY, PRAY, AND PRAY SOME MORE! Sounds like only God can help, and He will.

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