I think imma just shoot myself in the face.

Kayla - posted on 11/04/2010 ( 58 moms have responded )

202

11

14

I cant deal with motherhood with no help anymore.
Its been 61/2 months and i havent gotten a full night sleep, not even 1/2 hour to myself. My baby needs me to sleep, eat, and play. I have to figure out a way to clean, shower, eat. and nobody is around enough to help me. My boyfriend is always working so he doesn't help. My baby is a spoiled mamas boy and i cant take it anymore. I know this sounds bad but i don't wanna do it anymore. I love my baby to death but i cant take it. I'm getting to the point where im abusing myself and my boyfriend and im afraid its gonna get worse. I know id NEVER even think about hittin my baby but still. I feel so bad for feeling like this but what does everyone expect me to do? I'm only 19 and im only human. My life is ruined and noone cares. I love being a mother but is it really to much to ask for a few hours to myself? when i ask my boyfriend if i can have this he says, do i get a few hours to myself? I understand he needs it to but he has it far more than i do. (he drives an hour back and forth to work.) thats more than i get. I'm so tired and im so exhausted. someone please help and give me some suggestions or tell me you feel the same way??

This conversation has been closed to further comments

58 Comments

View replies by

Chrystal - posted on 11/04/2010

419

25

47

I am so sorry that you are going through that. I would definitely talk to your b/f and tell him how you feel. See what he says. I would definitely talk to your Dr. to b/c if you are having feelings of wanting to hit your child and you said you don't want to do it anymore might be a sign of post partum depression. I'm not saying that you have that, it's just that is a really serious thing, and you should really talk to your Dr. Again I'm so sorry that you are feeling that way. I will be praying for you and your family. Stay strong girl. Your baby boy needs you:)

Alicia - posted on 11/04/2010

73

14

10

well my kids both slept thru the night at 2 1/2 - 3 months old. u sleep when your son sleeps, u get stuff done while he is asleep or in bouncer or swing. my kids are now 2 and almost 3. they are 10 months apart. im married but my husband works 2nd shift so his sleeping is off track. weekends i get more help from him which is nice. our kids sleep til 9 most days. they nap for 2 or 3 hrs unless its later when they go for nap then its 1 or 2 hrs. so get him on a schedule where he naps for 2 hours and thats when u do whatever - cleaaning, homework, eat, sleep, etc. its not the end of the world. im 24. u gotta figure out a schedule so that when he naps or sleeps u either nap or do what u need to do around your house. having a child is not a burden at all, its a blessing & i love being a mom. my kids are very close in age but i wouldnt trade them for the world..

no your life is NOT ruined, so dont say that. welcome to motherhood. no i dont get a break either and yea it annoys me @ times cuz like u my husband drives 30 min to work and i want a cheap car so i can drive me/kids whenever. but im a stay at home mom and love it. get a part time job and find someone in ur family who will babysit for 25 - 30 hours a week. itll help u make friends and also $ at same time.

good luck

Christy - posted on 11/04/2010

2,218

41

400

You need a support system! No this isn't a solicitation, try a mom's group to become a part of so you can talk to other moms, make friends and get into some play groups with your baby.
Don't forget, your baby will eventually get on a schedule and sleep through the night, and take naps during the day. Just be patient. They aren't babies forever! Soon they learn to talk and won't shut up, and will be all over the house getting into things. It doesn't get worse, it just gets different, in a GOOD way.
You are young and probably feeling a little claustrophopic (sp) at this point. Get out of the house and take your baby with you.
To see if there is a chapter in your area for moms' club, go to momsclub.org It is awesome and they usually have lots of activities planned, play groups, moms night out, family night out, etc.

Kristi - posted on 11/04/2010

134

31

37

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time, and I know how you feel. I was 19 years old when I had my son, his father had cheated on me and ended up being a bad guy altogether and by the time my son was born, he was in jail. For murder. During my pregnancy, my mother (who was ALL i had at the time) was involved in a horrific accident and almost lost her life. Thankfully, she lived, and was bound to a wheelchair for most of my pregnancy. I was living with her, and lugging her and her wheelchair to every one of her doctor visits, every grocery shopping trip, everything. By the time my Gage was born, she was on a walker, but still couldn't help me at all with the baby. I cleaned houses for a living, and took Gage with me every time I left the house, even to go to work. I was completely alone physically, but thank God I had my mother to help me emotionally. I KNOW how you feel, I KNOW how bogged down it gets. I think Gage was about 2 years old the first time he ever spent a night away from me. He's 4 now, and is just now sleeping thru the night. So, trust me, I can relate to your stress.
I agree with Erica about talking to your doctor. Motherhood is a 24/7 fulltime job, there are no sick days, no vacation days, and no smoke breaks. When you feel so alone, you can't allow your child to be spoiled to being right with you at all times, get him a swing or a bouncy seat or a playpin so you can walk into another room for 5 or 10 minutes. Mommies are only human, and we need our time just like everyone else does, but it is up to us to give it to ourselves because the truth is, no one else HAS to help us.
I hope that things calm down for you, but I do believe you need to speak with a health care professional immediately, if not for you, then for your baby. Good luck, hun.

Lisa - posted on 11/04/2010

708

9

99

There are many (most) moms who have not gotten a full night's sleep in years, it's part of motherhood. Talk to your doctor, see a counselor to talk about how you're feeling. Find a playgroup that you can go to and connect with other mothers. It's not that nobody's cares, but you need to ask for help. Everyone is busy. If I need a babysitter because I need a break, I need to either hire one or call my mom or my hubby's mom and ask them to babysit for a couple of hours, or a friend, or somebody. There are always days when you won't want to do it anymore, no matter how many kids you have, or how old they are, or even if you don't have kids and you're sick of your job.

You're young and your boyfriend is young and you both need to talk and ask someone for help. A parent, a grandparent, a friend who will come watch your baby so you can go for a walk, go shopping, or just get out of the house.

Melissa - posted on 11/04/2010

598

40

82

Welcome to motherhood! I'm sorry, but if you weren't willing to give everything of yourself to that baby, you weren't ready to have him. If you are feeling depressed, you need to speak to a professional right away. If at all possible, look into finding someone who does drop-in care, so you can at least go grocery shopping alone once in a while.

I'm not trying to be mean. I do understand where you're coming from. I have not been away from all of my children for more than 2-3 hours since 2004. I remember the days when my husband was deployed and it was just me and the baby for months on end. It wasn't easy, but it was a choice we made. You made a choice too and if you can't handle it, you need to find help for the baby's sake.

Shannon - posted on 11/04/2010

1

40

0

Start feeding your little one some cereal at night time. It will make him feel more satisfied and sleep longer, which should help you sleep. Don't worry about your house work just get sleep and handle his needs. I used to have a car seat that you cannot use in the vehicle anymore and I used to put my son in it when I needed to take a shower or do something that I couldn't get done holding him. Hang in there it does get better.

Erica - posted on 11/04/2010

421

28

72

First off Hunny breathe. It sounds to me like you are dealing with Post pardum. It's very very comon. I delt with it myself for almost a year after my daughter was born. 1st things 1st you need to call your OB or family doctor right away. They will help you with your stress.

Until you can get that help put your son in a bouncy seat where he is safe and go in the other room. Breathe and count to ten. Yes he is going to cry, but it is normal. Try again. If you need to do this checking on him ever few minutes till you get yourself together! It does get easier I promise hun. Just please call your doctor.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms