I want another baby, but not sure we should!!

Julie - posted on 11/10/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have been wanting another baby for awhile now. I can't fight the feeling. Hubby says most likely we can when our relocations is all done, but I want one now. I just don't know if we should have a 3rd. I am not to good at displining my kids and my patience has been thin lately. We will be moving from family and friends so I won't have a lot of help or support when we move. And of course there is the financial part of it all. I stay home and so we only have 1 income and its hard to do sometimes. So how do you fight the feeling of wanting another one???? I think about it all the time and sometimes want to get pregnant without my hubby knowing, but I no that is so wrong. I just want to be pregnant now!!!! Thanks for all your help!!!

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Being pregnant IS really fun, I get the urge every now and again myself. But think of how hard it was with your other 2. A 3rd will only add to the stress, lack-of-patience, and create more expenses. It's up to you, but I knew even when I was still pregnant with my 2nd that I couldn't handle a 3rd. Visit friends with babies, volunteer in the newborn area of a hospital or at a daycare. There are other ways to get the baby fix without all the effects of actually having another. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 11/10/2009

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I would suggest finding out how you feel after you move. That will give you more of an idea as to what you can and want to take on. Patience is something that can run thin from time to time on everyone. Disciplining is a thing you can always learn to be better at if you are wanting. There are so many books, seminars, workshops,etc. that help. You have to figure out what kind of life you want for yourself and for your family and if adding another one will help it or hurt it. I know how it is when you have that "feeling". It is hard to ignore and everywhere you go you see things that make you want it even more. What I found that has helped is to get involved with little kids/babies. I do daycare for 4yrs and under, so get my baby fix during the day. So maybe watching a baby during the week might help. Or something I would love to do when I retire is to be a "baby rocker". They are volunteers that go into hospitals and rock babies. And as others have said pray about it.

Patty - posted on 11/10/2009

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So funny! ur not alone tho! I have been going thru that very same thing, my littlest one is 3 1/2, I have the iud that needs to be replaced here in a few mos. So.................we got a little pomeranian puppy a couple days ago, and let me tell you, she's another baby all over again. It was pain & contraction free, lol.

Shannon - posted on 11/10/2009

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I have a rare genetic condition (neonatal alloimmune thrombocytopenia) and many people said I shouldn't have another. I had been in therapy for postpartum depression and talked to my therapist about it. She simply asked, "do you feel a member of your family is missing?" I said yes, and she said there you go. We had number 4 six months ago. I feel the baby bug coming on again but know that we aren't in a place to have another right now. We also want to adopt. So when the feeling comes, I have to analyze why it's there and what part about having a baby am I wanting....I just started a doula practice and hope it fills the need:)

there is my 2 cents

Lindsey - posted on 11/10/2009

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I would pray about it for sure. My mother had three kids, she always wanted four, but because of financial worries she got a tubal and she says that she regrets it to this day. Everyone is different and you should give it alot of thought but when it is ment to happen I'm sure that it will. I don't know your whole situtation but i know that having enough money for babies will never happen yet somehow everything always works out

Stephanie - posted on 11/10/2009

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Pray about it. Sounds simple, and it is. We have 4 children 5, 3, 22 months, and 4 months, and I too stay at home. I was really nervous about #4. We knew we wanted a big family and that we wanted to be done by the time we were 30 (he turned 30 one month after the last one)! I really was torn, but in the end I left it up to God to decide. Now, I know it was a good choice for us, because we have a beautiful little guy. I also now know that I am "done". I never really had the complete feeling after the other 3, always felt like someone was missing, but now it doesn't. You have to also make sure you want to have a baby for the right reasons. I had a time in my life when I just wanted to be pregnant. I really don't think I had any desire for the actual baby, but just the pregnant part. Search your soul, and think in terms of baby, not terms of pregnancy.

[deleted account]

I have 2 kids, 6 and 3. They are actually almost 7 and 4. I really want another one but my husband has done back to school to finish his degree. We are both almost 28 and I know we are young and can wait, but I want them to be somewhat near the same ages. I am starting a FT job next week and for the next few years while my husband finishes school I know I need to work. Having a 3rd right now makes no sense and we would be so stupid. Money has always been a stressor and what would we do about daycare if I really had another. Am I selfish to think that I want another one just because I do? Or we both do? I feel like the only thing I am good at and the only thing I have accomplished is the fact I am a good mom. I know once my husband is done with school we hope that he will be secure in a job after that and I can stay home. I wonder if we waited a few years then had a 3rd child or even a 4th too, would this be unfair to my first 2? It would be like 2 seperate ages of kids in the house.

Amanda - posted on 11/10/2009

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I have 3 and my youngest is 6 wks. i am also a stay at home mom but i started school to become a certified medical assistant less that 2 wks after he was born. 12 hrs 3 days a weeks and ill be home all the other time. plus with moving you are going to need that outside stimulation. if helps a lot with the patience. i would definitely wait til you are moved and adjusted to make a final decision but as far as the financial part goes.. if you wait to be ready you will never have another one.

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