I was feeling unappreciated, so I threatened to strike.

Gina - posted on 09/18/2012

I have been a SAHM for the last 7 years,with 2 kids. I had 2 jobs when I met and married my husband,but we both chose that I stay home when baby #1 was born,with the understanding that when she started school that I would be going back to work at least part time. Well, the same year my oldest was going into kindergarten, I got pregnant with our 2nd. So no point in going back yet I thought.

ANYWAY, I have herd all those husband comments too over and over and over... so I did go on strike! not totally, I did just the bare minimum to keep the house running like I would wash the kids clothes,and dishes, but I didn't touch anything that belonged to him. I went so far as to put several boxes in the main room of the house labled with each person's name on it.(just to show him how messy he really was) Anything I did pick up went in the corresponding box.At the end of the week my box was empty,because I always pick up after myself. The kids boxes had a few toys and socks in them. But HIS box was overflowing onto the floor with all the crap he left laying around,clothes,shoes,empty food wrappers that didn't make it to the trash bin...anything that he left out! He figured out very quickly that I wasn't going to be his maid anylonger and has gotten better about helping with the chores.

So much so that I was finally able to get back to work this year part time in the evenings! I can trust him to help our girls with homework,cook dinner, and get them both in the bath before bed all while I am at work for 5 hrs each nite and 8 hrs every weekend.

Shaquana - posted on 09/14/2012

OMG yes yes yes SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS me!!!! Its such a relief Tristan thank you so much for your post this made me teary eyed a little because I was feeling as though i was alone in this world. Now dont get me wrong ive only been a stay at home mom for 3 years but I have a college degree and im only 26 im ready to get back out there into the world. But omg my partner says the exact same things to me like What did you do all day?, Can I get dinner, what you cooking, can you fix me this can you do that honey wheres my shirt did you wash clothes I can go on and on but you understand and sometimes I feel so lonely and unappreciated I have noone to talk to nowhere to go my vehicle is in the shop so im stuck. Oh and does anyones mate tell them you should feel lucky to be a SAHM alot of women would love for their mate to tell them they dont have to work. OMG that drives me crazy!!!!

Sally - posted on 09/14/2012

Make a timed list of everything you do for a week. Ask him to do the same. I'm willing to bet your list will be a lot longer than his. If that doesn't help bring out the big guns.

On his next day off, play "work". Disappear for 8-10 hours and turn off your phone. When you get home point out every single thing he didn't clean or nurture. When he freaks out, sweetly say, "But you don't even notice when I do it all day every day". If that doesn't get it through his skull, nothing will.

Good luck

Tristan - posted on 09/13/2012

The best medicine for your husband is if he has to walk a mile in your shoes. I had to go into the hospital for a month with my last baby, and my husband had to take a month off work. He appreciated me a lot more when I came home (sometimes he forgets, but I like to remind him).

Holly - posted on 09/13/2012

Well I see that I am not alone! Really sad how our husbands think we do nothing. If I leave my husband with our 9 month old for an hour, he gets mad if I call because Lord knows he can't do two things at once. I am so fed up right now. He just picked a huge fight with me; in the end throwing it in my face that he brings in all the money! Who mows the yard, does the laundry, cleans the house, does the dishes, takes the trash out, runs all the errands, budgets, pays the bills... Hmmm, not him! I feel so unappreciated. We don't sleep in the same bed anymore, we don't talk.. I would die for a little adult conversation! I would love to have a degree and make what he makes; shoot I wouldn't want to come home from work! So kidding but seriously, I am waiting on my college transcript and I am going back to college for a nursing degree. I need to have financial stability outside of his control. This is seriously scary and exactly why I swore I would never get married!! Now, just have to listen to him tell me what an easy job I have! I miss working!! I miss having friends/conversations/money!! Seriously I wish I knew all this before I got married!

Tristan - posted on 09/13/2012

I'm glad that I'm not in this boat alone!

Kim - posted on 09/13/2012

Ya know how they say the SAHM is the hardest job you'll ever do ? I think only women say this and yes it is unappretiated by many not all ( I think ) I have been a stay at home mom for 26 years and worked a full time job of child care too boot and still did everything around the house and the yard .At the present time I am not doing childcare but it is still just as exausting !!! Not according to my husband whom thinks I sit home eating bon bons all day while I leazurely sit my ass on the couch and watch the maid he hired for me clean our house Oh and the chef to cook his meals and the laundry cleaner to do the laundry and the child care provider to chase after my 3 year old grandson that I had to get guardianship of and the landscaper to keep after the yard ,Oh OH and the taxi driver that he hired to pick up and drop off the kids ,Oh and the nurse when everyone and anyone in the house gets sick .......... NOT !!!!! Just where dothey get off ? Don't get me wrong my husband works a full time job plus ! out side the house and doesn't lift a finger to help me at the end of his day 3 pm !!! And if I dare ask !!! I am still going until sometimes 10pm !!! Oh but he says that's my choice or I should have done it all earlier so I don't have to stay up so late and I get ' what did you do all day why didn't you do it earlier ?' I get that he works all day but would it kill him to just help a little so that we could sit down together at night and maybe watch a moie ? NOOOO! So we haen't slept together or watched a movie together or much of anything together because I am still working while he sits on the couch or falls asleep at eight watching tv while I am still cleaning .So yes I know how you feel !! And at one time when I was working 11 hours a day with the child care and doing everything I am now I had a family meeting begging for help and I got very little help and it stopped soon after .My husband now does his OWN laundry and picks up after HIMSELF . I got more but I am tired so I will post again if you reply.