If your a mom that spanks, would you be willing to do it in public?

Vegemite - posted on 11/24/2010

"spare the rod spoil the child" derives from Proverbs 13:24 "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but one who loves their children is careful to discipline them well." It is in no way suggesting we should spank our children as discipline but be to BE CAREFUL TO DISCIPLINE THEM WELL. However spanking is useful and effective when needed and done as discipline and not out of anger and punishment.

Megan - posted on 11/24/2010

If my son is acting badly enough to need a spank in public then usually I wait till we are out in the car or in the restroom. This is more for me than him because by that point I am angry or embarrassed that my child is acting this way and I need the walk to calm down so that I can use good judgment about whether a spank is needed or not.

Jodi - posted on 11/24/2010

Krisit- for the record, the bible was written LONG before either of those literary works, so I'd be willing to wager a bet that's where they got it from anyways. That's besides the point, I just assumed that you were quoting the bible because 99% of people who use that quote are doing just that, and incorrectly to boot! ;) I am not christian either and don't use the bible to raise my children, like I said, I don't spank because it's not necessary, my child is incredibly well behaved without spanking. BUT, I wouldn't be uncomfortable or unwilling to spank my child if I thought it would be more effective than the discipline we use now. Anyways, I apologize for my assumption, but I'm still glad I posted it...how many other people thought you were quoting the bible and possibly learned something?? lol Best of luck with your LO(s) and thanks for the lesson on the works, I might have to check 'em out and read them now!!! ;)

Kymberly - posted on 11/24/2010

I find this topic kind of funny :D it was started by a mother that doesn't "believe" in spanking to start a controversial topic. What did you expect to happen? a nice little thread to get you heated up? LOL...I spank my daughter and I WILL spank my other children. I was spanked growing up and we behaved a hell of a lot better than other kids I knew. My daughter being 14 months old listens to me better than a lot of 4 or 5 year olds I know. I understand every child is different but when it comes down to it, WE are the parents and its OUR decision. I would spank them in public or private as long as long as it was deserved and they did not listen to previous warnings. "I'd rather go to jail for spanking my child, then have them go because I didn't" -unknown

Treasure - posted on 11/24/2010

I don't fully spank in public, but I will swat the rear once if absolutely necessary. Most of the time, the kids have to hold on to the cart if they act up. If they let go before their "time out" is done, then they have to hold on longer. And if my 2 1/2 yr old follows suit, then she has to be buckled in the seat. A lot of times, it isn't why we don't spank in public, the need just doesn't arise. So many people veiw spanking as abuse and will call police all too quickly. I live in Indiana. We have been told by 1 CPS worker that spanking isn't allowed, however, 3 others, plus two officers have told us that the law states parents are allowed to use physical punishment as long as they are not endangering their child(ren), leaving bruises or welts. Most of the time, when I have had to spank a child while in the store, we go to the bathroom. And, that is when I get told "thank you" by other shoppers or "that is exactly what he/she needed."

Judy - posted on 11/24/2010

I reserve ALL my disciple for the private. unless as Erica stated my child was headed into a dangerous situation and needed immediate correction. Am I supposed to say "Oh no little Johnny come back here to mommy or you'll not get your movie tonight" as he is running toward the busy road? Abuse is what happens when you discipline in anger..... no matter what the "discipline" is......isn't making a child stand in the corner for hours until they are exhausted an equal abuse or screaming at them repeatedly. When I correct my children..be it a spank or a timeout we discuss it privately. What my child did to deserve a correct is no ones business and I would not embarass my child by disciplining them openly

Corinne - posted on 11/24/2010

Yes, if I feel it's neccessary, I will smack my kids' hands or the back of their legs. Doesn't matter if I'm at home, the supermarket, playgroup, wherever. If they've done enough to warrant it, they will get it.

Kellie - posted on 11/24/2010

yes i would if my daughter was old enough. i slap her hand sometimes now she is almost 11 months old. But depending out what she was doing and acting like would determine if i would spank or now

Heather - posted on 11/24/2010

I see nothing wrong with a quick swat on the butt, nothing hard or anything like that, in public if they are really acting out and misbehaving when nothing else has worked. I see it as a last resort when other disciplinary actions aren't working or you can't simply take them home.

Tah - posted on 11/24/2010

felicia sounds like my mom.."where you act up is where you get it"..she just told me that yesterday...i'm 30...lol....but seriously, thats how she did it....lol

Kelli - posted on 11/24/2010

Absolutely! I see nothing wrong with a good swat on the butt to get my son in line. I'd rather see a mom spank her kid than have to hear her say "no don't do that" a hundred thousand times. If you are one of those lucky parents whose child listens really well, then great, my son is stubborn and doesn't like to listen to me all the time, so occasionally it does come down to a smack on the butt. This is not usually my first method of discipline, just for the record.

Kristi - posted on 11/24/2010

Jodi Karshbaum, the quote, "Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child" actually came from a man named Samuel Butler, who wrote a poem in 1662 called Hudibras. The quote comes from this excerpt: "Love is a boy, by Poets styl'd, Then spare the rod, Spill the child." The other man who spoke it before him was named William Langland, who wrote a book in 1377 with this quote in it: "Who-so spareth ye sprynge, spilleth his children." Spilleth is used for spoils, in both quotes. I am not a Bible reader, or a Christian, so I do not use those values to raise my child. I didn't mean to mis quote the Bible, I wasn't even quoting it at all. Like I said before, spanking works for me and my child. He is very well behaved and very well taken care of. If spanking doesn't work for you and your child, then don't spank; if you don't feel comfortable spanking your child, then don't do it. Every child and family is different, we all have different beliefs, traditions, values, and yes, forms of discipline. As long as there is no abuse, then there's nothing wrong with any forms of discipline.

Lauren - posted on 11/24/2010

i wud spank my child anywhere if she is naughty not hard but anoth to say thats anoth

Crista - posted on 11/24/2010

i will given the proper situtation my children are normally good but if they decide to wonder around unattended then heck yes because i would rather spank than lose a child

Heather - posted on 11/24/2010

Here's the actual text, and an interesting quote from St.Mark:
"He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die." (Proverbs 23:13)
"I wish that all fathers of households stand forth and practice their role. They will use the rod and not permit their children to go astray. Firmness is needed in your world that is filled with laxity, permissiveness, and degradation.
"Your children have been misled by many who shall answer to the Father. As teachers they have failed in their role. Therefore, as parents you must succeed in yours." - St. Joseph, March 18, 1973

Heather - posted on 11/24/2010

Actually, if you search, you will not find the actual phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child" anywhere in Biblical text. It's one of the most commonly misquoted Bible texts of all time... yet the myth persists.
I'm pro-spanking when needed, but wish I didn't hear the Bible misquoted so often in relation to the issue.

Felicia - posted on 11/23/2010

Yes, I spank in public. I feel like if you act out in public you get a spanking in public. I need for her to understand how to behave in public and not just at home. After she gets a spanking I explain to her way she had to get one. I only did it once. Now, all I have to do is threaten her with a spanking.

Jodi - posted on 11/23/2010

Kristi Strouth- Let me preface this by saying that I am neither pro nor anti spanking. We don't use spanking in our house because it hasn't been necessary, but I couldn't care less what other parents use for discipline. "Spare the rod, spoil the child." This is the argument FOR spanking that I despise. The Bible was obviously written in biblical times and biblical language needs to be applied here. The "rod" was not a tool for discipline, there are two variations. One is that the rod was the shepards staff use to GUIDE the wayward sheep back to the flock...not to beat it into submission. Metaphorically, the rod would then be guidance to teach your child the proper way to behave. Having nothing to do with corporal punishment of any kind. The other variation is that the rod was a measuring stick, metaphorically this would be your expectations of your child...again, absolutely nothing to do with corporal punishment of any kind.

Alejandra - posted on 11/23/2010

I spank my kids i use to do it in private only but i noticed that he would mishave in public so i had to spank him in public. I have noticed that he gets very embarassed and now he behaves better in public than private. I know spanking works but i also do timeouts it depends on how bad they are misbehaving.

Erica - posted on 11/23/2010

I'm with Nikkole, why do we let other people scare us into not following what we think is right for our children? We don't give them dirty looks when they dicipline their children right? I'm not putting my daughter over my knee bare butt and smacking so hard I'm leaving welts. The force I put behind the spankings I give she probably barely feels through her diaper but she knows exactly what I'm doing.

Some one wants to call CPS they can but it just tells me they are too busy watching me instead of their own children and I'm not concerned with what a person like that would think of me.

Nikkole - posted on 11/23/2010

Thats true but spanking your child is still legal cps cant do anything unless your child is black and blue!

Stifler's - posted on 11/23/2010

Hahaha unfortunately probably true, Tah.

Tah - posted on 11/23/2010

probably because there are 100 people out in public judging you with their CPS on speed dial

Nikkole - posted on 11/23/2010

I was a PRO spanker but im trying now to use different methods because spanking dosent work for my kid! BUT if your pro spanking and dont care what people think of your parenting why not do it in public to if not are you afraid of something or ashamed? My mom would warn us then if we didnt listen take us to the bathroom or do it right in the middle of the store!

Stephanie - posted on 11/23/2010

I feel it should be done in public if you do it in private, if you dont do it in Public but in private then your children might think its okay to do bad things in public. thats just my view! I was spanked as a child and I feel it was best for me growing up!

Heather - posted on 11/23/2010

i'd like to know where it was "proven that spanking doesn't deter bad behavior". lol. it sure detered me from naughtiness as a kid, and all my close friends were spanked as children and agree. there are times when a stronger message needs to be sent (especially in situations where danger is present). yes, i would do it in a public place, but would find somewhere not SO public, as it does not good for a child's self esteem to be disciplined in front of a myriad of onlookers, regardless of the type of discipline you use. embarrassment is not the point.

Itsa - posted on 11/23/2010

It's pointless abuse in my mind, it's been proven that spanking doesn't deter bad behavior so why do people think it's still ok to do?

Arminda - posted on 11/23/2010

yes! i'm a spanking mom! but i do it in private so as not to embarassed the kid...

Candy - posted on 11/23/2010

I would. A smack on the butt never killed anyone. Of course usually if you have raised them right you are only going to have to warn them once and they will stop before you have to spank.

Vegemite - posted on 11/22/2010

Hi i spank as a last resort, I do a little smack on the back of the hand. He knows what's going to happen because he's had a warning and he'll put his little hand out. Then we'll have a hug and a kiss, he says he's sorry and I say I love him. We will do this in public but will go to a quieter area only because I don't want to embarrass him.

Sarah - posted on 11/22/2010

I do spank my kids. However, I do it as a last resort after no more than 3 warnings. Even at home.
I am not ashamed of spanking when necessary, my parents did it. I feel I have well behaved kids, I can count on one hand how many times either kid has been spanked.

Stifler's - posted on 11/22/2010

I agree with Kristi you can't just spank spank spank they have to know why they're getting it and it has to work for it to be a continual method of discipline. If I started spanking my kid and it never worked I'd just give up on it and try something else.

Kristi - posted on 11/22/2010

My belief is an old, traditional one. Spare the rod, spoil the child. In public, I give my son one warning, and if that doesn't work then, yes, he will get a spanking. However, I take him to the bathroom or another more private place to do it for a few reasons. One being, embarrassment; and not for me but for my son. Another reason being I am a very private person, I keep all of my affairs private, including stern talks with my child. I never just spank him and that's it, I always talk to him about what he did wrong, why it was bad enough to deserve a spanking and what he should do to improve it. He's only gotten 2 spankings in his entire life; he is a very well behaved child. Another reason I take him out of the public eye to spank is because of all of the judgmental eyes that follow me through out the store, or where ever I may be at the time. I know that is a selfish reason, but I can't stand for someone to think I'm a bad parent because my form of discipline differs from theirs. I'm not saying anyone on here is like that, but there are judgmental people everywhere. I guess that is just my own paranoia. My tough love works for my child and me, whatever works for you and your child you should stick with. I don't think there is a wrong or right answer or solution in the never ending spanking controversy, it's just whatever works with that individual.

Stifler's - posted on 11/22/2010

My mum used to send us to sit out the front on the bench next to the registers to get us out of her face when we started wanting stuff out of the shop.

Stifler's - posted on 11/22/2010

Lol do you make them stand in one aisle? I have to try this one day when my kid is actually old enough to be disciplined.

Jodi - posted on 11/22/2010

I've put my daughter in time-outs in public before...quite effectively too!

Charlie - posted on 11/22/2010

Yep you can put a kid in time out in public Emma :D

Stifler's - posted on 11/22/2010

I'd do it in public. If my kid was acting out in the supermarket... WHACK. I agree if you're doing it at home and feel it's right then you shouldn't be ashamed to do it in public. Although... can you really put a kid in time out in public.

Erica - posted on 11/22/2010

I sure do. If my daughter is running into traffic, toward a stranger, or toward something else dangerous I grab her little arm and spank her little butt. There are times that time out or a stern talking to works, but there are also times that you need to wallop their little butts! If I am willing to spank my child behind closed doors, why wouldn't I spank them in public? If I thought it was abuse or wrong in any way why would I do it?? I don't feel I'm abusing my child I'm disciplining her.