If your spouse did this would you be upset

Rhonda - posted on 09/12/2010

I would be very disappointed, but he did get you a hammock and make an effort to recognize your birthday. I would let him go to his bachelor party and ask him to plan another evening just for you.

Jodi - posted on 09/11/2010

I think it would be natural to be...dissapointed is maybe the word and perhaps even upset. BUT, a person's bachelor party doesn't happen every year like your birthday. He did put in effort, he got you a nice and thoughtful gift and a sitter so you could try to relax. Talk to him, tell him how you feel and that he needs to make it up to you. My husband and I havn't been able to spend time together on my birthday, valentines day, anniversary or new years eve for the past three years due to job conflicts, his working nights or whatever the circumstances be, it sucks, but he always makes it up to me (and I to him) the first chance we get.

Rica - posted on 09/11/2010

don't be immature and try to do what he's doing, going out, talk to him about your feelings, and tell him why this upsets you. if you try to go out and "have a good time" it's just going to cause problems later

Rebecca - posted on 09/11/2010

i agree with natasha - I bachelor party is important - like a hens party - make him spoil you rotten on another day! i wouldnt stop my man going out to a bachelor party but just let him know that you need cheering up because it clashed with your birthday.

Nandini - posted on 09/03/2010

I am in complete agreement with Chantelle........u gotta set an example of behaviour.......they say treat ppl as we would like to be treated ourselves....and sometimes guys just don't get it...we gotta make them understa nd with love not tit for tat

Chantelle - posted on 09/02/2010

Two wrongs dont make a right remember what your mom used to say. I would definitely talk to him about it. In the end a man is never going to react the same way us women do in the same situation. He'll either feel more entitled to be pissed because you "forgot" or he'll go out with his friends and it will have back fired either way.

Kelly - posted on 09/02/2010

Yes I would, tell him how it made you feel and that he needs to make it up to you!

Nandini - posted on 09/02/2010

I would be very hurt too. Try talking to him and telling him how u feel

Shelly - posted on 09/02/2010

You shouldn't be upset. Atleast he did try to make you have a relaxing night and bought you a hammock to relax in bachelor party's dont happen all the time so let him have a night of fun I know it is your birthday but it really is just another day in the world. You should treat yourself to a pedicure and grab a meal and relax in your hammock.

Allison - posted on 09/02/2010

Yes, I would be upset. My husband and I rarely do things on the day of our birthdays, but we usually do something. At least he got a babysitter for you. We live an hour away from family, and don't have any babysitters in the area, so my idea of a fun night is to go to the movies by myself while he watches the kids.

Kyla - posted on 09/02/2010

yeah big time. i would be well upset by that!! he needs to sort is priorities out a lil for you, thats really selfish of him

Morgan - posted on 09/02/2010

yes it would alot

Naomi - posted on 09/02/2010

dont think upset is the word i would b furious birthdays and mothersday is the only days we mums feel loved and appreciated mayb u should do the same on his birthday and c if he appreciates it

Julie - posted on 09/02/2010

i would be very upset.. make a point of going out with the girls on HIS birthday... book the next day off work and make an all nighter out of it!!.. revenge!

Sam - posted on 09/02/2010

i wud b more than upsat id tell him if he aint gonna spent the nite with me on my birthday. he wont be gettin thou the door wen he cums home.

Wendy - posted on 09/01/2010

I don't know the total situation you are going through, but here is what I think. If the bachelor party is for someone really close to him, I would say give him a little credit because it is a big deal to this friend for your husband to be there ....however; that does not excuse your husband for not trying harder to make your birthday a bit more special. Communication should be the key here. He should have said " Baby, I know its your birthday and I feel so bad not to celebrate it tonight, but I really want to be there for my friend's bachelor party" " I promise we will get a babysitter on Saturday night and I will make it up to you" Problem solved...you feel special and he fulfills his friend duties. I think you should calmly let him know how he made you feel tonight so he knows better in the future. I sure hope this helped. Super big Happy Birthday to you!

Chels - posted on 09/01/2010

yep, wouldnt have been upset, sorry! his mates only getting married once, like natasha said. He got you a baby sitter too! call a friend and go out yourself! Happy birthday:)

Nicole - posted on 09/01/2010

I'm leaving my Significant other this month after 6 long years, because I cant stand the heart ache any more. I woke up to my three year old on the computer looking at houses on craigslist a couple weeks ago and when I asked him what he was doing he told me, looking for a place for us to live without daddy so that I (me) wont have to cry in bed anymore or get hurt any more. and so that him and his brother can have lots of things again. It was so sad, that was the final straw for me. I never realized it effected the kids the way things do until that point. But it wont again. I am saving up and we are gone.

Tracey - posted on 09/01/2010

oh honey i would have let him have it. but then i have been there more times than i can count. I have planned my birthdays for the past few years. actually i have planned all the holidays. I have not had one good anniversary in the 6yrs we have been married and my birthday is on September 18th. i really want something special. I mean i am mom to 2 kids and i daily run myself into the ground only to wake up and do it all over again. but i know all it is, is a want and that i would rather not celebrate my birthday than to get my hopes up. some men need to get a real eye opener.

Nicole - posted on 09/01/2010

If it were mw I would have been happy with the sitter. Joking, Hell yeah be upset. But seriously compared to my life, you got it good. I have never gotten a gift or even a card, and now that I think about it never even a Happy Birthday. One year he even cheated on me and woke up with some other bitch in his bed on my birthday. The nerve. So thats why I said, I would have been happy with the sitter. But you have a right to be upset. men are heartless.

Wendy - posted on 09/01/2010

There is good cause to be upset. I'm sure it was a tough spot for him to be between a friends one-time bachelor party, and your birthday, but being your spouse, he should have discussed it with you and made sure you were ok with it, which he clearly did not. You must talk to him and tell him how it made you feel. Depending on your personalities and how it's approached, this could cause a fight, but hopefully not. If you keep it about how you feel and not about accusing, then you will get your point across. If you don't talk about it, it will stew inside of you, which is never a good thing.



You can also suggest that he make it up to you. :o)



Best of luck and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Emily Jane - posted on 08/31/2010

i think its time to sit him down and ask him what exactly his prioritys are?
if this bachelor party was so important..it might of been nice for him to organnise another night with you ..so you still had a good time..even if it wasnt on your actual birthday..Happy Birthday anyway :)

Rachael - posted on 08/31/2010

omgoodness. i would be seriously pissed. the least he could do was have dinner and then go out with his friends but come on man. he needs to really needs to figure out what he wants. i am pissed at my husband for hearing this.

Miriam - posted on 08/31/2010

Yes I would be upset because if he knew your birthday was coming up and he had plans he could of least take you out on the weekend...When its his birthday I wouldn't even acknowledge the fact that it is and make him feel the same way you are feeling

Chantelle - posted on 08/31/2010

I would be more hurt than upset. Maybe you should explain it to him by putting him in your shoes. I would never eat McDonalds on my birthday thats out of the question. Get together with some girlfriends. I am a stay at home mom of two boys I totally understand.

Kristy - posted on 08/31/2010

yes, it would. go out and see if your friends want to go out for a while. you do have a babysitter so use it. just remember when his birthday comes around pay back. lets see if likes it..... well happy birthday girl! go have fun....

Cynthia - posted on 08/31/2010

Yes, it would! That ws more than selfish-way more and I normally don't comment on relationships bc we are all different but this was not nice to say the least.

Donna - posted on 08/31/2010

We have been married for 18 years, together for 21. My husband and our kids (10 and 7) do almost EVERYTHING together because we enjoy it. However, this would be something neat and different for my birthday.

I could understand you being upset IF he had come home ON your birthday and said "sorry, babe, just found out about the bachelor party TONIGHT... can't take you out and don't have a gift... don't wait up". How long have you known about the bachelor party? I doubt if it just sprang up and that y'all already knew it was the same day as your birthday. Hopefully, for his friend this is a once-in-a-lifetime event.

Your husband knew he couldn't spend the evening with so he very thoughtfully set up an "at home spa night" for you. He was trying to be sweet. He took the time to go PICK OUT the hammock, then took time to SET UP the hammock, ARRANGED for the sitter. ALL so that YOU can have some time to relax. I hear so many women complain that their husbands or boyfriends don't give them time to spend on themselves.

Let's see: time to pick out the hammock, spent $100 -$200 on the hammock (unless he got it on sale), time to set it up, arranged for the sitter, $30 - $60 for the sitter, $$ set aside for you to get a nice dinner... and I'd guess he was thinking "I did it, I gave her the gift that I read about in the magazines that women say they want. YES!" And you're upset because he thought it out and planned it FOR YOU?!?

My husband had to work on my birthday... we eat together every night... I told him "It's okay, take me out on the weekend when we won't be rushed." Same thing on his birthday. On his birthday he chose a restaurant the kids would like over what he wanted and I took him to lunch at the restaurant of his choice the next day. It really is THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS! Be happy: He loves you!

Alicia - posted on 08/31/2010

Um, yeah. It's not just a Tuesday, it's your birthday. I mean I agree you don't necessarily expect (or maybe even want) a big extravagant night out with him. Just dinner and maybe a movie snuggle on the couch.... Boys.

Kitty - posted on 08/31/2010

yes i would be upset because i should be able to go out to and do my own thing!

Kathryn - posted on 08/31/2010

Upset is an understatement to what I would be. Grab a friend and go enjoy your night! He has a babysitter and the hammock will be there to collapse on for another day! Go have some fun girl and let him know it wasn't okay.

Heather - posted on 08/31/2010

yes, no doubt about it ..... it comes once a year, could at least give you 2 hours out of his time to spend time with you... id be upset

Margaret - posted on 08/31/2010

Heck yea I would be upset I would be pissed and kick him out of the house for a day, just to make him think!

Zoe - posted on 08/31/2010

yes. however, I would be the type to go to my husband a few weeks before, and say as a matter of factly, "for my birthday this year I want x, y, z" and just expect it to happen lol

Nicole - posted on 08/31/2010

I would be extremly mad you deserve to have him with you atleast or you to go out not him... Happy birthday hope things get better for you and try to enjoy your day.

Crystal - posted on 08/31/2010

i guess it depends.. did you know about the party before ur b-day? if not then hell yes i would be upset. if you did then sorry to tell you, at least he thoughg enough to get a babysitter... try to look at the positive :)

Angella - posted on 08/31/2010

Yes!!! Wow!! I can't say much more w/out offending someone but... wow!!

Victoria - posted on 08/31/2010

I would be pissed off

Theresa - posted on 08/31/2010

Yes, I would be pissed! It's your birthday so therefore it is supposed to be all about you!

Jessica - posted on 08/31/2010

I would be upset too. Its YOUR birthday and he's partying!?!? That is not fair. He should be home with you catering to you.

Shana - posted on 08/31/2010

It would make me really mad..Did you tell him that it upset you?

Elmarie - posted on 08/31/2010

yes very upset. why dont you tell him the issue

Vanessa - posted on 08/31/2010

Wow yeah I would be upset. You have a baby sitter right...go out! Thats what I would have done..Called a few girl friends and go out on the town and have your own fun. He don't like it then to dang bad. He should have thought about it before doing what he did.

Kerryann - posted on 08/31/2010

get your friends let the babysiter watch the baby and go out and enjoy it with them then do the excate same back to him on his birthday men somtimes just dont think what they are doing x

Kira - posted on 08/31/2010

oh man im so glad my boyfriend would never ever think of doing that to me! ild be steaming angry if that happened to me. call in sick at work, go out for your birthday, you only live once. ignore any calls or texts he sends you.

Candace - posted on 08/31/2010

I think your husband had two important events going on in one day, and was trying to make the best of it. I have an incredibly thoughtful husband, but if it were me in that situation, when I knew I needed to go to bed early, and he had this other event to go to, I would just arrange to celebrate my birthday later on down the week. Then I would have taken my child free time, (thoughtfully arranged by your hubby) and soaked in the tub, read a book, do my nails, watch a movie. What if the shoe were on the other foot? You had a bachelorette party of a friend, and your husband couldn't go out late and you arranged for a babysitter so he could enjoy a nice relaxing evening on his own. Would you feel like you had made an effort to please everyone??

Lizzie - posted on 08/31/2010

IVE JUST READ THIS TO MY HUSBAND AND HE SAID HE WOULDNT GO TO THE PARTY AND HE WOULD TAKE ME OUT

Jayla - posted on 08/30/2010

Sorry this reply is late but yeah that would p**ss me off to not point, it is your B day and he has to go out with the guys for someone getting married... that is not right, it would of been one thing if he has told you way before your B day and let you know he would make it up to you but to leave with the men for a night on the town doing things... NO NOT right at all.... I say for his B day you leave him with the kids and head out for night with the girls.... and say, that is your gift... your kids...LOL...

Destanie - posted on 08/30/2010

i would be VERY upset lol first off it will NEVER be acceptable for my husband to go to a bachelor party ESPECIALLY not on my birthday :/ you have/had every right to be upset HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Melysa - posted on 08/30/2010

i have come to expect the crap from my other half (he told me not to bother calling him if i went into labour with our second if it was while he was at a concert or that he would leave the room to go if it was taking to long as he did not want to miss any of his fav bands performance) i dont get mothers day/birthday/anniversary/christmas presents unless i buy my own and on my birthday the first thing i got when i woke up was the need to clean the bathroom as my son and missed the bowl, my husband stood back so he did not stand in it did his business and left for work did not say anything so when i needed to use it i had to clean it first on the plus side my M-I-L always takes me out for dinner on my b-day she knows he wont so she forces the issue

hope he gets better with age but maybe we both need to give them a swift kick up the rear end and tell them they should be better!