im 40 my husband is 50 are we to old to have one more Children we have one boy 7
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Stacy - posted on 04/19/2010
As far as the high risks go, yes, we have a higher chance of all those issues that several people have mentioned. But because so many women are waiting later and later to have children, I was a high risk pregnancy when I had my first child at 37. But the second pregnancy, at 41, was NOT considered high risk. Medicine has come far enough in the intervening four years that I was no longer high risk. I'm not saying that there is NO risk, but that with good medical care you can have a normal child even as an older parent. And there's always the adoption option. Ultimately, it's your choice, but I wouldn't let your age be a factor in your decision. Good luck!
Stacie - posted on 04/18/2010
Go for it! I'm 41 and due with my first (and probably only). We didn't get married until I was 36 and had difficulty conceiving because of my "advanced maternal age". We ended up seeking out the help of a reproductive endocrinologist and after many tests, a surgery, 4 IUI's and 3 IVF transfers I was finally pregnant at 40. Just keep in mind that the odds of getting pregnant naturally at 40 are very low, so if you are interested in getting help from medical science you might want to do it now. Also keep in mind that both you and the baby will automatically be considered a high risk pregnancy because so many complications tend to occur in older mothers. That being said, there is no reason you can't go on to have a smooth pregnancy and perfectly healthy baby! Best of luck in whatever you decide.
Tina - posted on 04/20/2010
I was a month shy of 41 when we had our 1st. we both want two, so I will be pretty close to 43 (if not past) when we have a second. It is up to you, as long as you feel you can do it...make a baby! Remember to have fun trying ;)
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Heidi - posted on 04/21/2010
I do not believe you are too old. I am 38 and have a 20 year old and a 7 month old. I was a single mom with my first then recently got married and had the baby. I would love to have another one if my husband will let us. I will probably be at least 40 when that happens. I believe I am a better parent this time because I am older and wiser. Good luck and do not let anyone discourage you if this is something you and your husband want.
I am 31 and my mom had me at 42, unplanned of course. I have a older brother who is 20 yrs my senior and is almost like a father to me. From my experience growing up, I didnt have either set of grandparents as they passed long before I was born and i missed out on that kind of relationship. Also, I am a new mother of a 4 month old and my mom now 73 cant really help me take care of my son ( my husband is deployed). She gets tired easily when she carries him. Also from my experience, my parents and i had a difficult time relating due to the age gap and also they had more traditional cultural beliefs. I love my parents dearly thou but its affected my decision on when and how closely to have children. Best of luck and wishes for you! :)
Kristy - posted on 04/19/2010
pregnancy is a little harder on your body when you're a little older. I think that as long as you're in reasonably good shape physically there should be no reason not to have another one. Just remember that you will probably be a little bit more tired and achy with this one but go for it.
Danielle - posted on 04/19/2010
this is a personal decisions
if you are looking for an opinion ... this is mine
if you got pregnant today you child would be 20 when you were 60 and your husband 70
by having children at this age you have a much higher risk of diseases such as down syndrome and genetic x, etc
you are not as likely to be able to carry to full term (37 weeks) etc.
i wouldn't...you are more at risk for all sorts of diseases and not having a full term baby and both put added stress along with medical bills, etc.
also after 40 your become more suseptible to cancers, heart attacks, etc.
Your child wants YOU to raise him no one else
my personal opinion...no because of all of the risk factors plus at the age of 40 and 50 you have less energy than you used to. I would just be thankful for my other kids :-)
Kel - posted on 04/19/2010
I know just how you feel! I'm 40, my husband is 47. He has two adult children from his first marriage and we have one, soon-to-be eight year old daughter together. Due to fertility issues, our daughter is adopted. I would like to adopt another, but hubby feels he is too old. Just the other day, he broke down and said he thought, maybe, he could be comfortable with having another baby as long as it came before he was 50.
Now I just have to figure out how to get my 24 year old stepson out of the house so we can start the process! But, realistically, I know that is not going to happen within the given timeframe. I think I am going to have to accept being a mom of one. She is a wonderful child and I am happy to have her...guess I'll count my blessings and get over the "want" of another.
At the end of the day it's your decision as a couple. There are a few things to consider though - women over 35 are much more likely to have babies who have birth defects such as Down's Syndrome - 1 in 100 women over 40 will have a baby born with Down's Syndrome. Plus there's a 23.1% risk of suffering miscarriage over the age of 40 and there's a much higher risk of stillbirth too an American study found a mother aged 40-44 is 3 times more likley to have a stillbirth than mothers aged 25-29. If you do get pregnant when that child is having their first pint you'll be pensioners. Lots of peope are having babies later but to me it just seems so strange as I'm 19 and my nana just turned 70 years old! If my mam was 60-70 years old now it would be wierd!
In the end you have to weigh up the advantages and disadvantages but also be prepared for the fact that you may not be able to get pregnant at this age.
Angeles - posted on 04/18/2010
Wat is your question. You want to have to be a natural mother or you want to be mother.I Warever of the two situation is your husband and you decition.I do not see any complication.Be a mom if you want that is the best solution. Congratulation.
no.. if that is what you both want then go for it! my sister is 43 pregnant with her 8th! lol. if you get pregnant your docs may do some more involved testing and monitor you more but thats all good i would think... hopefully congrats are in order soon!
Clara - posted on 04/18/2010
Your both fine..Its up to you both honey..I am 40 and am loving my pregnancy at this moment, everything is going really well..There are also woman younger than us that cant even have babies with out medical assistance so lets not waste the gift..All the very best on the new baby whenever that eventuates..infact post and let us all know too..Take care xo
Sherri - posted on 04/18/2010
Of course not as long as you havent started menopause - I got preg at 39. And had a beautiful healthy baby. Look at the movies stars alot of them are between 40-45 having their first child- just learn your ovulating schedule - and get to work - good luck
Marcia - posted on 04/17/2010
Its entirely up to you. Think about everything before you go for it. My cousin just had a healthy happy baby at 41. My mom gave birth to my little sister at 40 and there was nothing wrong with her pregnancy. The only probably with my baby sister is that she's HIGHLY intelligent! LOL! Good luck! I'm 36 myself and want to try for another child but not anytime soon. Its encouraging to see people later on in life have more kids.
Myra - posted on 04/16/2010
Deciding to have children is not selfish. There are some things to think about, though. At your age, you would be advised to go to the doctor before trying to get pregnant, and during your pregnancy, you would be monitored more closely for complications. However, the biggest thing in my opinion to look at and think about really hard is can you handle how you and your child will be looked at? Many people will likely mistake you for your child's grandmother and your husband as your child's grandfather. Many people will probably pass judgment about how your child will likely lose a parent early in life, and how that isn't fair for the child. However, if you feel your family isn't complete, I say go for it if a child is something you both want! Who cares what other people think. You are the one who has to deal with feeling like you've done what you need to be complete, and no one has the right to tell you that you're wrong for wanting children.
Kathy - posted on 04/16/2010
Thankfully you have the right to make that decision because it is you're decision to make. I am sure that if you and your husband were to have another child, you already know you would love this child with all your heart and always want what is best for this child. I also know that when a women "wants" a child hormones and chemicals take over and any woman is easily tunnel visioned. I would suggest that you and your husband sit down and actually write down all the ways that you think your child might have difficulties in life due to his parents age at different mildstones in his life; such as starting sports, starting high school, getting married, maybe graduating college, having his/her first child. There is no reason to list the reasons why to have a baby, those are a given. Once you and your husband finish reading and talking through this, take a moment and I am sure your answer will come to you and you will then be able to continue, no matter what the two of you decided, comfortably considering how well the two of you really thought it through. I hope that this helps.
Brandi - posted on 04/16/2010
Talk to your dr. have him/her check you over. If you are found to be in good health and able bodied to carry successfully another baby and your husband agrees to one more, then GO FOR IT. Just understand, your risk for gestational diabetes increases as you age, your pregnancy will be closely monitored and considered high risk. You may have preclampsia or a baby with downs syndrome or other mental retardation or birth defect. None of this means you are necessarily too old to have another baby, just know the risks. Weigh them with the benefits and make the decision with your husband AS A TEAM and go from there. DEFINITELY talk with your OB about the risks so that you are SUPER AWARE. and IF you are willing/able to deal with what MIGHT go wrong, then I say why not.
Rachael - posted on 04/16/2010
If you want and the equipment works, why not? As a word of caution, children born to older parents tend to have more birth defects and develop mental problems. Also if they are healthy they tend to have lower IQ's than if the parents were younger. Just so you know.
Kristin - posted on 04/16/2010
As long as you are going into it with your eyes wide open and acknowledging all the risks (financial, emotional, genetic) and are okay with going forward, then do it. You will need to prepare for this one, just as you had to prepare for the previous child. Only you and your husband can make this decision for your family.
Gshermaine - posted on 04/16/2010
I agree with all the other comments - NO you're not too old to have as many children as you want. If you know you have the time, energy and patience go for it. One thing for sure your 7 year old and a new baby will keep you young (physically) and on your toes - which means no time to think about getting old you will be living an active life! Congratulations on the new addition when he/she comes!
Joanna - posted on 04/16/2010
You are not too old, as long as you realize there are some risks that come with pregnancy after a certain age (I think they say it's 35). So as long as you are healthy and understand the possibility of those risks, then go ahead! My best friend's mom just had a baby at the age of 41 and they were both perfectly healthy, and there are women here who've done the same thing, so nope, not too old!
It is not selfish to have a family. If this is what you and your husband want then go for it! My husband and I are both in our 40's (I am 42) and we would like to have one more child. The only thing we consider is the future. We may be at retirement age with children in college so we are going to plan more carefully for that.
Krystal - posted on 04/16/2010
hi i am only 19 but i dont think your to old for another child, its up to you and if you and your husband desire to have another one then go for it. only you and your husband can make that choice of wether or not you can handle another or if you think your to old. but i deffinately do not think your too old to have another baby. i have a 11 month old and im now 9 weeks pregnant with our second baby, we are very happy and we have been together for 5 years and hopefully we will get married in the next couple of years. as long as you and your husband feel comfortable in the coice you make thats all that matters, i say go for it. :) x
Melissa - posted on 04/16/2010
No, not at all! Many people are waiting to have kids until 40. I just know it is harder to get pregnant at that age, takes a bit more work. I just watched a Tyra episode yesterday about the difficulties getting pregnant (more aimed at those who waited until 40). They gave tips on diet plans and other things that promote fertility. I say 'All the more power to you!'. I don't think you are too old or selfish! Good luck! :)
Louise - posted on 04/16/2010
No you are not to old. I had another baby last year at 39 and even though I had more concerns over the pregnancy everything went well. I did go private and have a nucleal scan to test for downs as I did not want to bring a child with special needs into my life at this late stage. I have two other children i had in my early twenties and i refused all tests for them as i felt was young enough to dedicate my life to them. I also felt that I did not want to burden my older children with a handicaped sibling if anything happened to me. I know this sounds terrible but at the end of the day my teenage sons were part of my decision. I now have an 18 year old a 16 year old and a 17 month old and we are one big happy family My daughter has the best of both worlds as she has three father figures in her life. I think older parents make great parents as we have the dedication and patience it takes to raise well grounded individuals. You go for it!
Kate - posted on 04/16/2010
l'm almost 47 and my husband is 50. We have a bright 3 year old, 8 1/2 month old twins,and we will try for one or two more this fall. Yes, possibly another set of twins. Yesterday we went to an amusement park, all 5 of us, and we had a wonderful time. Noone had better tell me l'm too old. l'm even starting to enjoy being called Grandma and Grandpa. Days when we are too tired to do anything but stay home are good days, too.
Jodie - posted on 04/16/2010
the descision is entirely yours only you can decide if you think you are too old! I know someone who had a baby at 42 and she and the baby were perfectly healthy although they did run more test during the pregnancy to check for things such as down's as this is more common in older women having a baby! I don't think you are being selfish just make sure you think of all the pros and cons before you get pregnant! Do as much research as you can, good luck
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