is it a bad thing to stay at home with ur child

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Richain - posted on 01/13/2010

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I was a school teacher who went on maternity leave about a month before school let out for the summer. A friend and co-worker made the best suggestion to me regarding whether I should stay at home or go back to work in the fall. She said that the first few weeks at home would be a good way to decide if I was ready to return to work or if I could stay at home with my baby. She was close. It took me about 8 weeks of being at home with my baby. I made that phone call to my boss to let her know that I would not be returning this year to teach.

I will admit there are days where I wish I had gone back to teaching this year, but those days are far and few between. (Coming from someone who has ALWAYS worked full time for the last 17 years, it was a HUGE decision for me.) I have found ways to get involved with other moms who have babies and we started a walking group. We meet for play dates and lunch and even do a mom's night out. To be honest, I helped start the walking group and the Mom's Night Out stuff because it gave me a purpose and something easy that I could do as well as stay home. I really have enjoyed staying home with my little one. He has grown and changed so much since the day he was born. AT 8 months old, it seems that he learns to do something new almost every day! I am almost at the point where I need to decide if I will be staying home again next year. Although I have not made that decision just yet, I have a feeling that I wont be ready to give up my role as MOMMY for my role as TEACHER.

Each person is different and I dont want to persuade you one way or another, but I thought I would share my story. I hope you are given some time to make your decision and do what will be best for you and your family.

Melissa - posted on 01/14/2010

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Absolutely not is right! My inlaws constantly make comments about my lack of contribution to our household (aka money) but I do a lot for our family. I made and continue to make great people out of tiny babies. Plus if it's something you can make work and you enjoy it (most days, alot of the time it's challenging, and you are exhausted and beaten down) but most days it is so rewarding to know that you are the one shaping your child rather than someone else. I don't fault anyone who works but for us it didn't make sense financially and I just couldn't stomach the idea of only seeing my kids during the week for 2 hours a day of stressed out getting ready for school/work and then at bed for that routine and the weekends. When you add up the hours, i just couldn't have someone other than me or my husband send more time with our children than we were.

Anna - posted on 01/13/2010

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Absolutely not!!! I have been both a working mom and a stay at home mom through my almost 21 yrs of motherhood. And have enjoyed both immensely. The decision should be yours, based on what works for your family. I have 6 children. Three of which require full time daycare, which is very expensive. So my husband and I decided that i should stay home, since anything I make would have gone to paying someone else to raise my children. I don't regret it for a minute. Yeah there's times I wish I was at work, because sometimes retail management seems easier than being at home with a 3yr old, 2 yr old and 5 month old. But at least I know they are well taken care of, and I don't feel like I'm pawning off the responsiblilty of raising my children on someone else. If you decide to stay at home don't let anyone make you feel like you are doing the wrong thing, cause for every person who gives you grief for staying at home, there are at least that many who will give you grief for being at work. Decide what works best for your family and run with it. Good luck in whatever you decide.

Briana - posted on 01/14/2010

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You know I watched an "expert" talking about how its bad for moms to stay at home and put their careers on hold once. I think it was on the Tyra show or something. lol. And I felt panicked after seeing that. But I realize now that an "expert" can't measure just how valuable the time is that we mommies spend with our children. I totally understand when mommies have to go back to work. But if you have the option to stay home and raise your children instead of having someone else(who is basically a stranger) raise your child then I would choose to raise my children. These years are sooooo important and we can NEVER get them back. I think that you have made a wise decision! Make the most of the time that you have with your child!

[deleted account]

Ive been a stay at home mom since my son was born 11 years ago I have three sons now. Ive been very lucky that ive been financially able to do this my husband and i make some sacrifices but they are all worth it. This decision has to be based on your financial situation of course but it really is worth giving up a few luxuries I know a few mothers who have worked and felt quite left out of their childs life because its someone else their child is with everyday.

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Casey - posted on 05/30/2011

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I've been a stay at home mum for 3 years now and I love it and wouldn't change it for the world, but sometimes you get people who say "what do you do all day" like you just sit on your arse all day watching tv or my personal favourite "oh so your just a mum" hmmmmm I think stay at home mums have one of the most difficult jobs out there. Honestly I love my job and people who want to look down at me for wanting to stay at home raise my babies instead of shipping them off to daycare can bite my arse their opinions mean nothing to me :)

Michelle - posted on 05/30/2011

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Contrary to popular opinion these days it is not a bad thing to stay home with your kids. I have always been home with my kids and I can't imagine missing all the important milestones in their lives. They only want to be around us for a relatively short time in their lives. Might as well enjoy it.

Carol - posted on 05/30/2011

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i went to work after i had my son. he is 6 now. i had my daughter when he was 3 and 3 months, and i havent worked since, and if i knew what it was going to be like, i would not have worked after i had my son. seeing her grow up has been so rewarding, and it has been fav=b as i am almos sure i am having no more children., i am going back to college in september for 1 year, and im sure its going to be so hard, but i am training to work in a creche. i have some qualifications in it, but want more, and think it wiill be great when she starts playschool or school, i can get a job in a playschool, but still be there in the evenings when she will be home too with her brother. i wont mind working when she has somewhere she has to be each day

Dhea - posted on 03/04/2011

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Abseloutely not, I feel great to be able to stay at home to taking care of my children.

Barbara - posted on 01/31/2010

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yes i thank when my son goes to school i will got back to work i just dont want to miss anything

[deleted account]

I certainly don't think it's bad to stay at home with kids. I think we're lucky when we're able to do so. We're not rich by any stretch, but I have been able to stay at home so far. Once my youngest starts school though, I will be looking for part-time work. The cost of living is rising.

[deleted account]

No....From the beginning of time up until about the 1960's almost ALL moms stayed at home. Only moms that HAVE to work should. It is better to stay at home with your children. You are their mother.

Najah - posted on 01/20/2010

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no u learn more about them that way and they learn alot bout u....as long as u not a boring stay at home mom...i love stayin home wit ma son he is so much fun

Ashli - posted on 01/20/2010

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No I think it's a good thing... you gain that personal connection right away and you are able to teach and focus with your child on a daily basis:) Just make sure your child is active at home and not just in front of the tv.....lol... my son trys but tv only for 1 hour per day

Kristin - posted on 01/20/2010

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How can it possibly be a bad thing? I have been home for over 2yrs and am very happy to be here.

Judith - posted on 01/20/2010

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how can spending time with your child be a bad thing? My son is 16 months old and I'm still at home with him. I'm now looking for a new job but don't feel bad about the fact that I didn't go back to work after 6-9 months. I'll never get that time back again and have enjoyed having so much time with him. I think you should do whatever is right for you as a family - there are so many pressures on us, financial and emotional, so just do what is right for you and don't feel guilty. As long as your child is happy and well cared for, that's all that matters.

Basia - posted on 01/20/2010

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Being a Stay at Home Mom is a WONDERFUL thing... I have been both routes, my first two I stayed home for three months each and then went back to work. They did not suffer, but I did... I missed most of their "firsts". I became a SAHM when my first two began to enter school, this was most helpful for them... since "we" had experienced their dad leaving us about a year and half earlier. When I remarried and had two more children I have continued to stay at home. Professionally it has been a sacrifice, but one I would redo all over again... If you can stay home I encourage it, you will be happier and so will your kids.... Guaranteed!

Kammy - posted on 01/20/2010

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Absolutly not!!!! I am a stay @ home mom of 3 children. They need me @ home to care for them, to make our house a home & give them that stability & comfort of knowing that they can depend on me. My husband needs me home too. When he gets home from a long day @ work, he needs a warm homecooked meal & a wife that is not frazzled from just walking in the door after picking kids up from daycare. I'm here for my family in these precious first years that go by so very fast. There will be plenty of time later on in life for me to work outside the home, but for right now, I am taking care of the children & husband that God has given me, 100%!

A child's need for his mother is as basic as his need for food!!!

Maleeha - posted on 01/20/2010

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i dont think so!! i think we ar eblessed to have this time to spend with them. i am not saying i dont need a break, i do!! but i still cherish each n every moment i spend with my lil ones. :)

Donna - posted on 01/20/2010

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I've been a stay-at-home mom for the better part of 18 years and I don't regret a day of it! There have been good days and bad days and days where it seems like nothing gets done...but overall, I see the good of it in my children. They are secure, successful and have their values and character firmly planted. Okay, they're not perfect, but I am so grateful to know that I was the main influence on them as their character was shaped and formed at the beginning of their lives, not some liberal teacher or other caretaker. You'll never regret the time you spend with your children. (P.S.: Don't beat yourself up for feeling overwhelmed, bored, exhausted, or a complete failure. We all have days like that. Just know that what your doing is of eternal importance and realize that you are shaping the future of the world by instilling wonderful things in your child!)

Donna - posted on 01/20/2010

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I've been a stay-at-home mom for the better part of 18 years and I don't regret a day of it! There have been good days and bad days and days where it seems like nothing gets done...but overall, I see the good of it in my children. They are secure, successful and have their values and character firmly planted. Okay, they're not perfect, but I am so grateful to know that I was the main influence on them as their character was shaped and formed at the beginning of their lives, not some liberal teacher or other caretaker. You'll never regret the time you spend with your children. (P.S.: Don't beat yourself up for feeling overwhelmed, bored, exhausted, or a complete failure. We all have days like that. Just know that what your doing is of eternal importance and realize that you are shaping the future of the world by instilling wonderful things in your child!)

Lucinda - posted on 01/20/2010

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I stayed at home with our children while they were growing up. Is it a bad thing...I would have to say it was the right choice for us. If you are happy and can afford to stay home, then I would say no..it is not a bad thing. But if staying home does make you happy, then it would be a bad thing. I have always felt, Happy Mom...Happy Home! It is all in how you feel about it.

Lucinda - posted on 01/20/2010

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I stayed at home with our children while they were growing up. Is it a bad thing...I would have to say it was the right choice for us. If you are happy and can afford to stay home, then I would say no..it is not a bad thing. But if staying home does make you happy, then it would be a bad thing. I have always felt, Happy Mom...Happy Home! It is all in how you feel about it.

Amanda - posted on 01/20/2010

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I don't think it is bad I'm a stay @ home mom I have a three year going on Four in April and I also have a 15 month old both boys and I love being home with them, I miss my pay checks but I think it is good to be home with them until they go to school bc you miss out on so much they are only little for a short time and I don't want to miss it. Good Luck in whatever you chose

Monica - posted on 01/19/2010

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No it isn't but you will miss things as they get older and want some you time also and don't feel guilty about tht. And there are many Moms that envy Stay at Home Moms. It's not a right or wrong question or answer it's an opinion and how you feel personally.

Jo-Anne - posted on 01/19/2010

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i say abosolutely NOT you get to watch them as they grow and they ge to know YOU not some stranger

Brandie - posted on 01/19/2010

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I don't think it is. It's so rewarding spending time with your child. My husband and I both use to work, but I got laid off. Since my 4 yr old will be going to school soon, we decided that it would work if I stayed home and help prepare him. Its great. The only bad thing, is that we don't get to see my husband too much. But we both see the great outcome of me staying and working with my son.

Callie - posted on 01/19/2010

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Financially, it can be hard to have only one person working outside the home, if there are in fact two parents in the house. That being said, quality daycare is very expensive. What I personally believe is that what children need most is to have a parent raise them, not a childcare worker. Being a stay at home parent can be one of the most rewarding experiences for you and your child.

Alleen - posted on 01/19/2010

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Not at all. I love being at home with my boys, what job would I rather be doing? ;-)

Hillary - posted on 01/19/2010

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Of course its not a bad thing! Its the hardest job in the world but also the most rewarding. I have been a stay at home mom for 3 years now and I wouldnt change it for anything in the world! It is however good to give yourself a break and have something that is just for you! It will help you to not loose yourself!

[deleted account]

No!!!! There are many wonderful things to say about staying home with your kids! They are a job all in themselves ... and unless you have a very good job paying lots you won't end up making anything to speak of once you pay for daycare, etc and work clothes. There is nothing more important than your kids and there is no other way to have them raised /trained the way you want them to be unless you do it yourself!

Kathlene - posted on 01/19/2010

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I have always had a choice to either work or stay home with my children.When I had my daughter last January the choice was easy,i decided to stay home with my baby!I'm so glad that I do have the choice. There's plenty of women who don't get to choose.So it's my belief that if you have the means and can then you should take advantage of being a stay at home mother.Of course there's nothing wrong with working,I have done both.

[deleted account]

having the option to stay home with your child is awesome. not everybody has the choice! no way is it a bad thing! enjoy the moments, they dont last forever.

Kendell - posted on 01/19/2010

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Hello I noticed you would like to work from home, well I ahve a wonderful company that I joined and I would love to share it with you!

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As an example I made $490.00 on Sunday, just hanging out with my mom friends, introduced them to the products, and they signed up!

Here is my website,

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If you would loke more information on how I am making such great money, selling products I use and believe in then msg me!

This is a great business opportunity, as a mom I know so many other moms that are using these products, and I am getting WAY too busy and would love to add you to my team!



Kendell Vanderwater

"What do you have to lose?

ALSO I will be there for you every step of the way and will show you just how easy it is to make this work for you!



I look forward to hearing from you!

Jessica - posted on 01/19/2010

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Hi Barbara

I am a stay at home mom Have been for seven years I have two wonderful children who have greatly benefitted from me being at home with them..If you can afford it and are willing to take some cuts financially then it is rewarding both of my children are honor roll they are being raised with my husband and I values and morals not someone elses it is a great and I love it and they love it

Jean - posted on 01/19/2010

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I was a SAHM for 8 years and recently went back to work because my husband's job is on shakey ground. I really felt that was the right thing to do and I was lucky enough to get a great job with great pay... I hate it! My kids are 3, 5 and 7 and every day I feel like I should be with them instead. I have re-evaluated what is important to me (not posessions or $$) So, my advice is that if it is something you enjoy and can afford... you should do it an not worry about what others think!! I now realize that I probably didnt even appreciate the time I had with my kids and my family as much as I should have.

Christi - posted on 01/19/2010

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uh, no. we are the unapprectiated part of the family dynamic, but we are also the most important. life wouldn't run as smoothly if we weren't at home handling all the details and the men really seem to forget that. but i love being home with my son, i know i am raising him to the best of my ability and that no one is going to harm him. day care scares me and if we are ever in a situation where i have to go back to work, i will most likely pay a family member to watch my son. too many sickos out there.

Emily - posted on 01/18/2010

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i think it is totally a great thing. you and you baby form such a great bond. I am currently staying home with my son. It has been 8 months. Just dont take it for granted. It is precious time that you will never get back. I think that is the main reason that i am doing it.

Crystal - posted on 01/18/2010

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If you can afford to stay home with your child, then do so. It's the best thing you could offer your child. We would have more if I worked but we did the math - I have a disability and cannot drive. I'm not exactly blind, but enough so that I can't drive a vehicle. So to find a job that would take me where I wouldn't be in trouble depending on someone else, plus the cost of daycare and doctors when he got sick, plus paying someone else gas (hubby works 12 hour shifts - 3 on, 4 off, and vice versa) then it wasn't worth it. I'd be bringing home maybe forty dollars a week!



Plus, both my husband and myself have HORRIBLE memories of in home daycares and regular daycares. We didn't want to put our son through that. I've been home with him since he was born and I wouldn't trade it for the world. At first, I felt guilty that my husband was the only one working. He pointed (yes a MAN pointed this out, lol! he likes to make a point of that) he pointed out that I worked at least as hard as him, possibly harder. I was home with a baby, cleaning house, laundry, playing teacher and nurse, figuring out everything. I have family a phone call away and that helps.



But we have managed and things were provided for us. Now we've moved up in the world to where we have a beautiful townhouse and there are lots of toddlers around to meet at the playground. Hubby got a promotion and I landed a part-time freelance writing job that brings in much more than my old job. And I get to choose when I work. Hubby was wanting me to quit it but it's soemthing I can do while little one naps so why not?



And our son? He's getitng quite the vocabulary, can count to five, knows a couple colors, can handle buttons, zippers, and knows how to untie, has never been sick, and is extremely well behaved and adjusted. Yeah, we don't have as much as we could have - but we see it as a small price to pay for one of us being with him always and no strangers raising him.



Nothing beats that smile and shout of HI! when he sees us first thing in the morning. Or the 'nitenite wuv oo" when it's bedtime.

Melissa - posted on 01/18/2010

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i think not......i have 4 chikldren 19...18...13...11 i often asked myself the same question but when your older kids thankyou for being there for them and hear how their friends tell them they are kucky that makes all the sacrafices of being a stay home mum worth it......

Krista - posted on 01/18/2010

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I don't think so as long as you take a break from your child and your child gets that same break from you. Trust me both of you will need after spending day in and day out with you kid(s). You get to experience everything first, not a person from a daycare or one of you family members or friends. I have been a stay at home mommy for 3 years and sometimes I want to go back to work, but staying at home provides me the opportunity to teach them the things I want her to know and have her eating the food I want her to and learning not just doing mindless stuff that isn't helping their brains to develope.

Janet - posted on 01/18/2010

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It is not a bad thing to stay home with your kids. I am a stay at home mom of four girls and I do home daycare. I have never regretted staying at home with my girls. I haven't missed a milestone and I think my girls really appreciate knowing that I am there for them.

Ericka - posted on 01/18/2010

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I don't think so.. My daughter is 2 1/2 months and I quit my job to stay at home with her. I love being able to spend ever second of every day with her. My husband and I love knowing that our daughter is well taken care of, and we don't have to worry about her being in daycare.

Kelly - posted on 01/18/2010

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Absolutely NOT......I am much happier now that I am at home with my kids. I am not as stressed and they are even more well behaved. I also enjoy saving money in daycare too. I started working from home this year and I love it. I make my own schedule and I am around to do things with my kids I couldnt do before. I wouldnt change it for the world. Dont feel guilty for being at home with your kids and dont let anyone make you feel bad either.

Heather - posted on 01/18/2010

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of course not!! It's the best thing possible!! Who better to look after your kids than their own mother?? Why pay someone else to watch your kids, when you'll do it better?? I'm a SAHM with my son who is gonna be 11 months at the end of this month, and its a job that I wouldnt trade for anything.. getting to see every first and know that he is well cared for its the best thing ever... I would feel like a failure if I went to work and left my baby in someone else's hands ... NO WAY!!! Luckily, my husband has a decent job in building construction so we can get by on his salery.. but I am looking into ways that I can get money from home, too... being a SAHM is the busiest, but best job you could ever ask for. Your boss loves you, and you don't have to go anywhere!! :-D

Laura_lee - posted on 01/18/2010

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no its not ive been a stay at home mother for 11 years.i wouldnt change it i thought about working and then i thought about everything i would miss there first words there first steps.i dont regret one moment of it.goodluck

Rachel - posted on 01/18/2010

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No, if anything, it could be better for your child - of course, this depends on the type of interaction you're giving your child.

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