is it bad to want to go out ?

Adriana - posted on 08/22/2010 ( 96 moms have responded )

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i am 23 yrs old and i have 4 kids ...the oldest is 5 going on 6 ....i never really had time to go out and have drinks with my friends ....now that i had my last baby she is 2 months i been wanting to go out and dance or have a few beers with my husband .....but those that make me a bad mother ?

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NO.

Happy mom makes for happy children, a few drinks now and then or a night dancing with your friends does not make you a bad mom it makes you human! Arrange a baby sitter (or get a friend to watch the kids) go out and have fun, but I would try to keep it to a few it is no fun trying to look after children with a hangover (my SIL once got in such a state that she actually couldn't get out of bed to look after my nephew he spent the day with me and my hubby).

Lindsey - posted on 02/01/2013

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No it doesn't. I think you need to make time for yourself. I think it makes you a better mom. I was a young mom like you. I also had kids by 23. I went out. It was hard to find babysitters with that many young kids but my husband and I made time. It will help you out. Make time for yourself. Don't feel guilty for going out every once and awhile.

Jessica - posted on 11/12/2012

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As long as you have someone that is reliable and safe with your children I dont see why it would be an issue. as long as you are responsable the next day it is ok to enjoy the night of freedom. That helps a marriage stay alive. Shows your man that just because you are the mother of his children dose not mean that you can not be the one he fell in love with.

Mari - posted on 08/29/2010

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NO, no and no, it makes you a woman who wants to spend some time with her loved ones and relax and forget the daily worries. Nothing wrong here and you definitely are not a bad mom. You do need the time for yourself too :)

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Catherine - posted on 08/29/2010

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NO it doesnt you need to have some you time Im now a single mum and I get to go out once every 2 weeks so no you are not a bad mother

Rachel - posted on 08/29/2010

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NO! It makes you a human being who wants companionship and time with your love without being mauled by your kids. Many parents who are smart once the baby reaches a certain age will have a date night anywhere from once a month to once a week. You need your relax/sanity time too or you are gonna go bananas and your kids are going to know and get stressed and act out more and make it harder on you and it turns into a horrible cycle. lol. It does not make you a bad mom. Going out and having some fun time makes you a more relaxed mom.

Alice - posted on 08/29/2010

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i feel the same i never go newhere on my own or do things on my own i even have 1 of the boys in with me wen i have a bath. my hubby gets lots of time on his own to do wat he wants but wen i ask him to look after the boys for a few hours he wont.

Aniesha - posted on 08/29/2010

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Not at all! No reason why you shouldn't still go out and do things that you want to do (as long as your kids aren't being neglected of course!). You're still a person underneath all the mummy stuff. Of course we all love our babies, but it's nice to have a break sometimes, and I think it can help us to appreciated them more when we come back!

Crystal - posted on 08/29/2010

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no not a bad mother at all im 20 and have a 7 week old son and am going out next weekend for a night out as im young my life dosent have to stop just because i have a baby i haven been out in a year and this weekend is a spacial occasion, and my mum is a first time nana so she is more than happy to baby sit, i wont be doing this all the time but every now and then is good for you, you need time for yourself to have fun 23 with 4 kids, girl you deserve it!!!!

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IM FEELING THE SAME WAY, . BUT EVERY TIME MY FRIENDS INVITE ME 2 HAV COFFEE, I ALWAYS CANCEL ON THEM BKUS I FEEL AS IF IM BEING IRRESPONSIBLE.. ! AND I ALSO WANTD 2 KNOW IF IM DOING WRONG IF I DO GO?

Emma - posted on 08/29/2010

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Of course it doesnt make you a bad mother!! Everyone needs time off to enjoy themselves. I've been out probably once a month since having my little boy (9mths now) its good to have time with your friends and his grandparents love having him to stay for the night!! Also it is good for him to be away from me every now and again so he gets used to being with other people not just me all the time

Zoii - posted on 08/29/2010

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no your not a bad mum .. every mum need a night out .. i try and make it at least once ever 6 months .. have a blast ...

Christina - posted on 08/28/2010

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No, it's not bad to want to go out. You're a mom true, but don't forget about you...you have to pamper yourself sometimes.

Tia - posted on 08/28/2010

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nope.. you gotta be happy.. your kids will know if you're not.
a happy mom = happy kids

Elizabeth - posted on 08/28/2010

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But having a responsible adult whom you trust with your life (your kids) will allow you to be able o go have that beer with your husband. You chould never try to take care of your children drunk but that's all in being a responsible parent. My husband works 18 hours a day 7 days a week....that makes for a long week. You should try a least every 2 months to get some down time to do WHATEVER it is that you want to do. But nothing illegal! LOL:)

Tawnya - posted on 08/28/2010

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wanting you time doesnt make you a bad mom but drinking when you have to go home and take care of them is WRONG!! becasue you cannot care for even 1 child drunk if you want you time go out with your husband to dinner and a movie i despise parents that drink and show their children that it is ok. partying should NEVER come before you child going out an partying like you are a careless teenager or someone that doesnt have responsibilities is stupid i hope you can understand where i am coming from i am a mother of three under the age of three and one of which has serious health issues, whose husband is a truck driver and never home, i am with my kids 24/7 365. I dont have time for screwing around and getting drunk/partying and it sounds like neither do you

Julie - posted on 08/28/2010

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In my opinion, NO this does not make you a bad mom. I think it's great to get out with your husband and spend time w/o your kids or your friends. I'm doing that tomorrow by going to a White Sox game with my husband while my mom and stepdad watch our son for us.

Amanda - posted on 08/28/2010

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No it doesn't make you a bad mom. You need to have you time. To have happy kids you need to be happy.

Amanda - posted on 08/28/2010

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Not at all, its not llike your going to leave your kids alone. Its good for you to go out. It makes you miss your kids

Suzanne - posted on 08/28/2010

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No, you need your downtime and time to be with our husband and have some fun and relaxation. Get a babysitter or a mate to mind the kids for a date night out and go and have some fun.

Heather - posted on 08/28/2010

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Absolutely not! Everyone needs time for recharging. That having been said and at the risk of sounding harsh (although I do not mean to be). Choosing to have children also includes choosing to have a life style that includes having to sacrifice some things and accept that changes to your lifestyle and life outlook. I still wouldn't change it for the world!

Fiordaliza - posted on 08/27/2010

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If you have a safe and reliable babysitter I dont see the harm in having a little fun, everyone deserves a brake

Stacy - posted on 08/27/2010

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going out with ur husband is great! to go out just 2 want 2 drink would be another thing-i think u have earned a night out with ur husband, i just don't understand why u would question urself? common sense would tell u that there is nothing wrong with that.

Lisa - posted on 08/27/2010

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My boyfriend and I had planned an evening at home which turned out to be nice..we made dinner, watched a movie, and had a few beers. This was while our son was sleeping it was nice. This weekend is actually going to be the first weekend that we go out without baby. He is 3.5 months and were leaving him with my MIL since she lives in the city so when were ready to go home we can just pick him up instead of having him spend the night with her.

Brianna - posted on 08/27/2010

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There is absolutly no prob with that. I am 23 with a 3 month old daughter and I do trade offs once in awhile with my sister. One night I take a night out and she takes care of my daughter and the other night I watch her son. As long as you dont do it too often and you have a reliable babysitter, there is nothing wrong with having fun. Your still young and there is no reason to stop life because you have kids.

Julie - posted on 08/27/2010

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Even on the news etc they talk about keeping a marriage healthy especially when you have kids that the couple should try to make time for one date night a week. Well, although that probably won't be possible for any of us until our kids are much older I'm sure it means anytime we can get a little time to go out and have fun without our kids is healthy for our minds, our marriages and our motherhood.

Fiona - posted on 08/27/2010

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every mum n dad need time out from their kids, don't feel bad bout going out n having a good time...it does not make u a bad mother, neva let any1 tell u any different.....HAVE FUN!!!!!

Kellie - posted on 08/27/2010

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not at all...i like to go out as well...sometimes my mom will keep our daughter so we can have time together and to go out. its really nice

Elizabeth - posted on 08/27/2010

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One of the most important parts of being a mom is making sure you continue to stay a whole person. You are not just mom. You're a wife and a woman. It's sooo important to keep your relationship alive between you and your husband. Taking the time will make you a better mom and getting to love them up when you get home is fantastic!

Toni - posted on 08/27/2010

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Go out, every Mom and Dad deserve a night out, and need it. You feel so much better, less stress and more patience.

DIANA - posted on 08/27/2010

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I think it doesn't make u a bad mom if u go out for a couple of hours. I have friends that leave their kids to go on exotic vacations without their kids. I think it is really unfair to leave your kids while u go on vacation. Maybe when they are teenagers I will start doing this. I think every month is great to go out with your husband. Sometimes I forget to make it a priority, when I get so stressed I say that is it I need a break.

Hailey - posted on 08/27/2010

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i go out all the time my bf who nt my bby dad minds her i need a brake to have fun i think it a gd idea

Jessica - posted on 08/27/2010

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No EVERY MOTHER IN THIS WORLD DESERVES TO GO OUT!! we as mothers need adult conversation. Does not make u a bad mother. it makes u human!

Cynthia - posted on 08/27/2010

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No it doesn't make you a bad mom. You need to go out and have fun with your husband.

Giovanna - posted on 08/27/2010

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of course not!
i'm almost 23 myself,and my baby is 15 mo. old.I LOVE being a SAHM,but I also wish I could go out with my husband,just the 2 of us,more often.my prob. is that since my husband works away for weeks at a time and comes home for two or three weeks,he wants to take the baby everywhere!but what about me?i'm with him ALL day 24/7...don't i deserve a break or something?

Candi - posted on 08/26/2010

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No no no no no.....Please go out and have a little fun! Our job as mothers is never ending, you deserve to celebrate you and your marriage! One thing I've learned over the years is you can be an awesome mother but not if you loose yourself in it. You must enjoy yourself and laugh a little, the time away from your babies refreshes you and ignites your love for them even more after you've had a little break of your own : ) I go out on dates with the hubby and have girls nights every now and then and I wouldn't change a thing!

Stifler's - posted on 08/26/2010

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I use every opportunity to do things without Logan. Not that I get that many.

Melissa - posted on 08/26/2010

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I believe it is a must to go out from time to time and just kick back without the family.we all need time to breathe and enjoy ourselves.I could use that advice but I'm too stuborn when it comes to feeling guilty about not including my kids in EVERYTHING...

Tracy - posted on 08/26/2010

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Not at all! As much as you need to make your children your number 1 priority, you can't forget about yourself. My husband never use to understand why I wanted to get away every now and again. But I explained to him being a mom is my FULL TIME JOB, 24/7. He comes home every night and gets a break from his job and I need to get out of the house and get a break from mine. He travels a lot so it was really hard for him to understand, but eventually he got it :) I don't go out much and usually don't even drink, but I do take time for my self on occasion. And we make sure to set aside some time for us to be husband and wife. It's not often, but you need it every once in a while. Don't let anybody tell you that you are a bad mom for wanting a little break.

DIANA - posted on 08/26/2010

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No I ask myself that all the time? Feel Guilty when I want to go anywhere by myself.

Nadine - posted on 08/26/2010

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get on out ther chick im 24 i have 4 boys eldest is 8 the 7 then 5 then 2 , and i hated the thought of going out and leaving my first three then i just got stir crazy and i ended up with really bad depression and if its one thing ive learnt now its that you should always make time for you and you and your husband you are not wonder woman hunni we all need ME TIME :D XX and dont feel guilty by far if you do your not alone but its not a guilt pleasure to keep your sanity x

Caroline - posted on 08/26/2010

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I become a better mum when I have been spending time away from the kids... doesnt matter what I've done! But apart from the hang over... My husband and I try to have date night every 2 weeks, drinks, movies or whatever...
Besides, you are so young to have 4 kids!!! I spent my 20's drinking every weekend... I'm 32 now with 2 kids, and could not imagine how hard it would be to be 23 with 4!!! you rock in a very special way!!!

Tanasha - posted on 08/26/2010

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It most definately does NOT make yuo a bad mom. I would go stir crazy lol. I am 32 and have 2 kids and I still go out (no kids OR boyfriend cause IM sorry girls, I even need a break from him sometimes lol) at least once a month so I can unwind a bit and relax. If mom is unhappy, the family is unhappy :)

Melissa - posted on 08/26/2010

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No going out does not make you a bad mother, my bf and i get a sitter for our daughter twice a month and go out and sometimes we just walk around and do nothing but you need time for yourself.

Grace - posted on 08/26/2010

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No!! My daughters are 14 and 16 (I'm more interesting in age than you are (hee hee) my husband and I ALWAYS make time for each other with date night. It's normal to want to want to cut loose and relax. If you're a Stay-At-Home (or work-at-home as I prefer) mom, you deserve to relax. No more guilt! Go enjoy!!

Trisha - posted on 08/26/2010

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i also dont think it makes you a bad mom either! In fact my daughters pediatrician said doctors order to have at least 2 nights a month with no baby because the healthiest thing for your kids is a happy marriage!

Jenelle - posted on 08/26/2010

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My hubby and try to go out at least one night a month. Just to have some us time is wonderful. I love all of my children very much but you still need to love yourself and know that time for you is important. As for being a bad mom, heck no !

Tina - posted on 08/26/2010

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NO, go out and have fun, and be your age even better go out with your husband.you both will need a release from the kids, and havin the odd night out clubbin is grt, family life is stressful, and you are so young, enjoy your kids and enjoy, you time, very important, you are also a woman, as well as a mum and wife, gooooooooo and hav fun.xxxx

Carlene - posted on 08/26/2010

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absolutely not. As far as the drinking, be modest.You would want to come home to your children sober. But otherwise than that, go out.. We all need that me time. I am about to do it myself and I have six.. So do it...

Tamara - posted on 08/26/2010

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I'm not going to tell you what I would do in your situation because thats not what your asking for. You don't need to feel bad or guilty for wanting some "mommy" time. No matter what any mother says, we all want time to ourselves at some point. You are human, you need to make sure your happy and healthy so that you can be a good mother to your kids.

Tanya - posted on 08/26/2010

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No, I am 24 and I have a 6 yr old and a 3 yr old and I go out to the cinema or for a meal with my friends now and then. It is always a well needed break and gives me a little bit of time to be an adult instead of a kid!!!

Nicole - posted on 08/25/2010

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OMG... Amy you should be my new friend! i feel the same way in most reguards but i would never condone other for doing what they do..



but you are right you made the choice to be a mom and that has to be the main priority. personally i would never get plastered but im sure my version of going out and having a fun time with drinking is alot different then other peoples thought on that on this thread and im 22. i do not miss partying but having a date with the So every once in awhile is needed to keep us sane and to keep our relationship going.

Nicole - posted on 08/25/2010

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lol no..my so and i got tickets to whats known as the biggest party in cleveland we left our daughter with my mom for the night and went to Roverfest =)

but we did the responsable thing we left early and did not drink. as we had to pick our daughter up at 9 am the next day and wanted to beat the drunk traffic out of there. now if we hadnt had to get our little one so early we may have stayed till 3 am or when ever it ended.

i don't agree with drinking when you know you have responsibilities the next day. or have to come back home to your children. if they are gone for the night sure why the hell not.

Amy - posted on 08/25/2010

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Of course it's normal to want to go out you are 23 and never got that chance. But you made the decision to have four children starting very very young, therefore you really gave up the "right" to be a crazy partying young adult. Your children come first. And I know all these other mothers don't agree with me, they think that by not going out you are "losing yourself" well I'm perfectly happy not being wasted in a club somewhere. If I were out drinking who would put my ONE baby to bed? I really don't feel sorry for anyone who doesn't get that opportunity. You made the decision to be a mother. That is who you are for the rest of your life. But maybe it's because I'm 28 and I went through all the phases of having to go out before I decided to have children.

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