is it just being plain lazy??? or what?

Ashley - posted on 06/05/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )

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we live in a townhouse complex and we have open backyards.. so basically anyone can walk through them .. and my neighbour is always Allowing her 3 yr old son outside by himself ... I think its just plain wrong my oldest is 3.5yrs old and I would NEVER allow her outside with out an adult watching her... what do you think am I just being over protective ? or are they just being plain lazy! she also allows him to go out side and swim with no one out there

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Casey - posted on 08/29/2011

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Ok swimming is out of the question. Ive let my son pay outside alone wile I did dishes and checked on him every 5 mins. We lived in a trailor at the time and I stood infront of an open window. If it got too quite or I hurd I voice that I shouldnt of I went outside. There were always ppl outside and the neighbor adored my son. I didnt do it often. Only if he was really buggin me to go outside and i needed to get something done. I wouldnt let him swim alone or even play with water.
My son is 4 now and I have another 4 year old SS and a 6 year old SD. I wouldnt let him go outside alone! WE also live in a different neighborhood now. My son alone pretty much would just play in the dirt. lol.

KRYSTA - posted on 08/28/2011

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wow that to me sounds like a mom that could care less what happens !! well maybe she will start to care if her baby gets kidnapped or something happens to where she will get some prison time !! wow i dont wish that on anyone but a baby ,....... omg i would call cps and see what they say !! best of luck wit hthis !

Melissa - posted on 08/28/2011

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Wow no way would I let my LO rome around outside by himself as well...The swimming thing is also crazy. Way too many things could go wrong or happen....I say its neglect! If it was a private fenced in area...that's one thing but it not and its crazy to let a toddler run around by themselves! I am personally worried about the child's safety! And now after what you said in the last post who knows in what other ways that child is being neglected...I would give CPS a call! Just in case!

Ashley - posted on 08/28/2011

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honestly most times she acts like she couldnt care lesss about what happens to him ... she was gonna give him to foster care while she was pregnant because he doesn't listen to her ( because he has never had to) because she thought she didnt want the new baby turning out like him he is such a sweet kid really he is

KRYSTA - posted on 08/28/2011

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every child and parent is different ... that child may know and understand the boundries his/her mom gave them and the mom must trust that ! me personally , i wouldnt trust my toddler being outside alone ... there are too many strange people out there and a young child wouldnt know what to do !! shoot .... i didnt let my kids even go out in the yard by themselves without me watching them until they were about 8 ..... like i said it not the kids i dont trust its just other people , drivers dogs ... ect..... i think you are acting fine about this .. maybe that mom needs a little wake up call that if she isnt watching , anything can happen to her baby !!

Sal - posted on 08/19/2011

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Playing in the yard I' m personally ok with if she feels safe but swimming even in a kids pool no not at all .I let my 3&4yr olds have water play in a big toy bucket but not swimming

Staci - posted on 08/19/2011

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Our backyard is just like another room to our house. I can see and hear what is going on from every room of our house. With a baby it is impossible to be outside with the kids every second, but it seems silly to make the older kids come in just because I have to do something. Besides, I have four kids, so it is easy to have a buddy system outside.

Rebecca - posted on 08/18/2011

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I think you are being slightly over protective...but then again look at the story of madaline...I wouldn't let my daughter play on her own or wonder anywhere alone ever! People just cannot be trusted..there are some dirty people out there...I dont think they are being lazy I just think they dont want to be over protective as children need to be able to explore things!

Jenni - posted on 08/18/2011

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I think it can really depend on where you live and the maturity of your child.
Personally, I wouldn't let my 3 year old son play outside by himself where I live. We live on a busy street and although we have a fenced in yard there is always the possibility he could open the gate. He can be a little mischievous as well.

My SD (4) on the other hand is very mature. I wouldn't see a problem with her playing in the yard at 3. Of course while periodically checking up on her. She's very trust worthy. But yeah, I don't do it... I always go in the yard with them. I like to be outside too!

When we're at my inlaws it's a bit different. They live in the country and have plenty of windows. We let them play outside by themselves for short periods of time. But we are always watching them out the window. And joining them outside periodically.

My SIL was visiting from Wales this month. She has a 4 year old son. All three cousins spent time outside by themselves riding their trikes.

I do NOT agree with letting him swim however unsupervised. I'm even weary of kiddie pools.

But I think (depending on the individual child) 3-4 years old is a good time to start giving them a little bit of freedom. Just ease into it slowly.

Jennifer - posted on 08/18/2011

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I wouldn't let mine outside alone at that age. They were 6, maybe earlier IF we'd had a fence. We don't have a pool, but my parents do. The 6 yr old is not allowed in with out an adult, the 10 yr is not allowed in there alone, but can with one of my teens. (youngest one is 15) 13 is the age they were allowed in the pool alone!

Alana - posted on 06/06/2011

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i used to allow my three year old to play out in the front yard, we had a big glass sliding door so i would watch him out of the window if i wasnt outside with him.
he's now five and plays out in the street (not alone with friends ranging from 3-15) but we do live in a very nice area in a culdesac with no through traffic and everyone knows each other here.
i think its appaling that your neighbour lets a three year old in a pool alone!

Mary - posted on 06/06/2011

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I just started letting my 5 year old play outside without me, but i still check out the window and leave the back door open so i can hear her. But i live in a very small town were crime is rare, and i know all my neighbors by name.

Clara - posted on 06/06/2011

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My children are 10 and 8 and I am always outside with them I have a double fenced yard and a police dog, You are right!!!

Jane - posted on 06/06/2011

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you're not wrong. you can always give a call to the police department from your cell phone and ask that your name not be given and say that you see a child alone. hopefully, they will respond and verify that nothing else is going on. usually that type of lack of parental supervision is an indication that something else is going on. maybe the parents are struggling w/depression. at least the police can see what's up and get the resources needed for the family.
when i was pregnant w/our first, i had my husband put up a 6ft wooden fence around our house. i told him i would not bring the baby home until it was done. it was something i needed to have done, instinct, i guess. and i knew we'd never have the time to do it after the baby was born.

Bonnie - posted on 06/06/2011

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I don't think you are being overprotective. I have a fully fenced in backyard and I don't leave my 2.5 year old and 4.5 year old out there for more than a minute or two alone. I'm not saying it is wrong to let young kids be out there by themselves, I just wouldn't do it.

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I allow my three year old to play outside alone...but we have a fenced in yard and no pool. Playing alone outside doesn't bother me...the swimming alone thing does. I don't know that your neighbor is lazy...perhaps she is...but maybe she's just more free range than you are.

Amanda - posted on 06/05/2011

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Each to their own, but personally I wouldn't allow my 3 yr old to be in that sort of area on his own. Even in my own back yard that has 6ft fencing all around it my kids are supervised when they play outside. In my case it's not about who is walking through my yard or wether they can get out or not, it's about spending time with my kids and interacting with them. Even if they don't want me to play with them I like to watch and make sure they are not playing silly games where they will hurt themselves (they like to climb and jump off things)
How could you live with yourself if something happened and you weren't around??? don't get me wrong accidents do happen even if you are around (my son recently tripped and bit through his tongue while I was standing next to him)
It's not about you being over protective, it's about responsible parenting and looking after your kids

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