Is it really that much hard work?

[deleted account] ( 243 moms have responded )

I hear lots of moms moaning about how much hard work being a stay at home mother is, how hard it is to do housework and look after the kids but come on people is it really that hard?

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Carmina - posted on 09/30/2010

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Its a blessing! Its hard, but I dont think its any harder then going to work! Trying to keep my 11 month old occupied while i clean the whole house everday and cook his meals and his fathers is quite a tackle... but I love it because my fiance appreciates everything i do and my son is the most precious gift. I agree with your post to an extent, but its not a smooth sail by any means!

[deleted account]

Irene ive been a sahm for 12 years lol i have tried it and i love it. I asked the question because i see a lot of posts from mothers complaining and saying they cant cope, im just wondering why some mothers find it so much harder than others. Obviously age is a factor for some and the amount of kids.

Teresa - posted on 09/30/2010

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I love, love, love Ink Ette's response. EXACTLY. I have worked in the corporate world. And, even though I was managing over 100 accounts, I had down times. Motherhood (four kids) has zero down time. And, when Dad's out of town, it's all you.

I'm not going to get all whiny about it being hard, because I chose this. My kids are my life, because it's the most valuable life I can imagine. So, I have to pick up the DVDs my toddler scattered about 20 times a day, vacuum daily, clean the toilets multiple times a week (little boys are foul in this area), chase the rabbit from under the beds, clean poop from the bathtub drain, etc. I can't remember the last time I remember "going" to sleep. I just crash from exhaustion. Motherhood IS draining. But, the rewards are definitely over-the-top worth it.

Stifler's - posted on 09/30/2010

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HAHA. No. It's bloody boring and annoying and when the baby is really young like from birth to 6 months you feel like you're going to die but if you're organised you can get everything done and still have me-time.

[deleted account]

Hey I applaud the "stay at home moms". It's tough both mentally and pysically. Only someone who is not one could ask that question and all I can say to you Susanne is TRY IT!! Take a month or two off and be there every single day. Only way you can really understand.

Kathy - posted on 09/29/2010

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My husband I were talking/joking one day and because he builds things out of stones like walls, stairs etc.. he said he understands what it's like for me to look at the same thing ie..dishes and clothes every single day, day after day after day....I explained to him that it's not just stones day after day...imagine if you went to work, perfectly placed al of the stones in the wall, went home and came back to see that all of the stones had been removed! So again, day after day you replace the same stones and someone removes them...his wall will eventually get done, I will FOREVER rewash the same Hello Kitty plates! :P it's the over and over of the same thing that drives a person loopy! :P but I love it and would never trade it and think it's better to think on good things than complain...so yippy for kids that can eat on their own and can play and get dirty :)

[deleted account]

I was saying that routine and planning will work. Especially when you have busy toddlers running around. If you dont stick with a routine, things can and will get chaotic. This is why I plan the next day ahead.
I have to go to the doctor at that time.
Playgroup that time.
Car service that time.
Swimminglessons that time.
Fit in 2 naps for my son at that time and that time.

If you decide that playgroup is so much fun and you want to hang out a little longer, you can kiss the rest of your plans goodbye. You have to be strict.

Shannon - posted on 09/29/2010

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i love being a sahm, it is all about routine.
i would not have enough time to get my chores done if i had a job, i can cruise around the house at my own pace.
i would hate to miss all the things that jimi james gets upto everyday, it all happens so fast, teeth, walking and talking, i want to the first to see/hear these things

Kristy - posted on 09/29/2010

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It can be that hard. Sometimes it is that hard for me. I'm a full time student during the day and a SAHM when the kids get home from school. I'm always up before the kids, I sometimes have to leave for school before they even get on the bus. I have an 8yo boy and a 9 yo girl. And regardless that i have a hubby, I am pretty much a single parent. He works 2nd shift. He doesn't see the kids during the week. He sometimes does in the morning, but he doesn't get home until midnight most nights from work, and i have to be up at 6 and the kids up at 7. I go to school, the earliest i can be home is 1pm mon-thurs. he leaves around 2:20pm, So I barely see him anymore and he doesn't help with the house anyways or the yard. The kids get home a little bit before 4pm. Sooo I run around trying to do my homework which takes up at least 3 hrs a night, help them with their homework, i also have to tutor my son in math, and help him with speech, do dishes, laundry, mow the lawn, clean the house, take care of the dogs, make dinner, then I always have dinner ready for my hubby. So on top of nonstop hustling, I don't sleep. lol, I'm a freakin energizer bunny. Some of us moms do have a lot on our plates. And yes, Sometimes it is that hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about it. I love being a SAHM, but sometimes i just need a break which i rarely get. So I agree with some moms that it is hard work. But I also agree that its a blessing to be home with the kids. People don't realize that when your working an actual job, u get a break from home, and a break from work. When your a sahm, there is no break. Its all day and all night and it never stops. And I don't have family to help me or talk to. I'm an only child and my parents moved away from me over 2 years ago. I would trade shoes with anyone for a day so they can realize how hectic my life is.

Evonne - posted on 09/29/2010

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Depends on what kind of mom you are. Do you have unlimited income or do you have to hunt for sales? Do you live in a brand new house or one that is falling down around you? Do you have 1 or 5 kids? Do you have kids with Special needs? Do you have to prepare homemade meals with special dietary ingredients or can you just grab some takeout? We all have our own crosses to bear. Some of us just complain more. I can tell you that being a stay at home mom of three boys (two of them with special needs) is the toughest job I have ever had. Running an accounting firm with 8 accountants out of three offices was a vacation compared to what I do now. Yes it really is that much hard work.

Melissa - posted on 09/29/2010

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IN GENERAL BEING A PARENT IS HARD, BUT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, YES HONEY IT IS... AS A SAHM WE DONT CLOCK IN OUT CLOCK OUT, IT IS A 24/7 JOB.. IT IS THE BEST EVER BUT VERY MUCH PHYSICALLY. AND SOMETIMES EMOTIONALLY TIRED! WE HAVE TO KEEP THE HOUSE TOGETHER, KIDS, AND OURSELVES... THE FACT THAT MOMS OUT HERE SHARE HOW THEY ARE FEELING OR HOW STRESSED THEY MAY BE SHOULDN'T BE IN QUESTION OR JUDGED... MOMS SHOULD SUPPORT EACH OTHER WHETHER YOU STAY AT HOME OR GO OUT TO WORK, I PERSONALLY WOULDNT CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD AND EVEN THOUGH I HAVE MY DAYS WHERE I THINK I MIGHT GO NUTS, OR MY BODY IS GIVING UP ON ME, WHEN U GET TO SEE YOU LIL PRINCESS SAYING MAMA, OR HOLDING HER SIPPY CUP, CRAWLING, SMILING, LAUGHING, OR YOUR 3 YEAR OLD LEARNING NEW THINGS, THAT RIGHT THERE MAKES ALL WORTH IT! PERHAPS IF I WAS OUT WORKING FOR SOMEONE AND SPENT 8 TO 9 HRS OF THE DAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLS I PROBABLY MISSED THOSE THINGS, AND THE NANNY OR WHOEVER WAS THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN PART OF IT, DO I MAKE SENSE??? COMING HOME AFTER BEING OUT ALL DAY WORKING ITS NOT THE SAME AS BEING HOME ALL DAY AND STILL CONTINUE ALL NIGHT AND THE NEXT DAY.. AND SO ON... YES BOTH CAN BE EXHAUSTING BUT NOT THE SAME! I SPEAK FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, NOT JUDGING WHAT ANY MOM OUT THERE DOES! IN THE END WE ARE ALL MOTHERS, WHAT IMPORTANT IS BEING THE BEST MOMS WE CAN BE AND PUTTING OUR LIL ONES BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE!!!

Kathy - posted on 09/29/2010

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I wasnt able to read through all of the comments but I liked the first question..'How many kids do you have and how old are they?' I didnt see the response..
That makes a HUGE difference!
A mom that puts her kids on the bus and is home alone all day until 3pm..ok, to me that should be very easy. and I truly dont know why so many of them complain.
Being 'at home' as in 'in the house and not going out with groups of friends every other day' does gets frustrating even with one child because of the monotony of it and hard when you add in factors like home schooling multiple grades. I remember wondering just how many times I could play patty cake with a 4 month old that wanted undivided attention! :D lack of adult interaction will drive anyone up the wall (for a week or so it's great but days or weeks on end it gets old)...like the lady at the beginning of the posts said, even a drop of water can make you nuts :)
I am a stay at home mom, we have one car and my husband works 10-12 hours a day 6 days a week. So I am alone all day everyday, we live overseas so I have NO family or friends or neighbors to visit with. Just me and the kids...ALL the time!
I love my kids and love being able to be home with them but I dont just 'stay home' i'm a first and second grade elementary teacher, preschool teacher, and cook. I have to lesson plan and teach plus do everything every other mom does like cook and clean.
The ages and life situation makes a huge difference as to whether life is hard or easy or just taxing...

Heather - posted on 09/29/2010

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I do believe i would lose my mind if i had to get up and leave my house every day AND deal with everything else I deal with. I mean seriously....Sometimes just looking at my living room floor that needs to be vaccumed more than the once a week and I do stay home and I feel guilty. I would really feel bad looking at all the everything piling up around me if I went to work too. AArrrggghh just feeling the stress level rising thinking about it

Sally - posted on 09/29/2010

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Think about all the cooking and cleaning every mom does. Then double or triple it because the kids are home eating and making messes all day instead of at day care. Then you are also a day care provider. And you are a teacher. And you are a driver all day instead of just after school. And the kids need more activities beacuse how will they get 'socialized' if they're not in day care. Oh, and since you're at home your house should be cleaner because you're there all day and shouldn't you be cooking from scratch more. After all, you're at home....you have time. The school or church or club needs a volunteer for something...well you're home all day-you have time. A friend needs an emergency baby sitter...you're home with the kids anyway...what's one more. Me time...your whole day is me time...you don't have the stress of work. Hubby doing his half of the house work...please...he was at work all day.
How much do we gat paid for being 100% on the job 24/7 with no breaks, no vacations, very little help and lots of scorn. Well, I heard my baby's first word, saw her first step, draw her first picture, etc. instead of hearing about it from the baby sitter. When she's sick, I make her feel better instead of the baby sitter. When she's hurt or sad I comfort her instead of the baby sitter. When she's happy, I share it with her instead of the baby sitter.
I feel sorry for work outside the home moms. They may have less physical labor and more help and support, BUT they get all the exhastion and stress and guilt of motherhood without all the good stuff that I get.

Jessica - posted on 09/29/2010

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YES! you try cooking with a little one wrapped around your leg. OR trying to make the bed when the kids decide they will jump on it!

Heather - posted on 09/29/2010

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that is true and on those days when they start out seeming like they are going to last forever...I planned on taking a quiet time while the kids were and still do. And if I have one that refuses to nap, they still have to stay in their room for quiet time whether playing bythemslves quietly or watching a movie. As a SAHM you/we need that 1 1/2 or so in the afternoon to recoup our vital forces.It is EVERYONES best interest,Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. ANd you need to have a strict bed time schedule. You need that time with your husband or just adult alone time.

Dana - posted on 09/29/2010

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After reading most of these posts I have to agree that it's not the actual work that is hard. It's more like a rollercoaster all day long, and most days one "small" accident or mishap can throw the rest of the day off. It is rewarding but it is also stressful. I know for myself before I got pregnant I didn't know what it was like to have someone COMPLETELY dependent on me, and its a little overwhelming. I also find that some days if I wake up really tired it's hard for me to be creative and think of activities that will keep my daughter busy and thinking, learning, playing, etc. So I think the greater picture of being a stay at home mom is really wonderful, but I can't deny that like any job in the world there will be times (sometimes long, sometimes short) where it doesn't seem as rewarding, or is just plain stressful.

Desiree - posted on 09/29/2010

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My life was so much easier when i was working 8-10hrs in a high stress, high pressure environment because i was still able to find time to take a really break. I am the proud mother of five children and they are awesome, wonderful kids that i couldnt be more proud of. And as a SAHM i am assisting in keeping and developing all the wonderful aspects of them. I am the one they come to; I do not get a break until at least 7pm most days and i wouldnt have it any other way. Yes it is hard and somedays I would LOVE to call in sick, but it is the MOST rewarding profession i could ever have and i have worked in some amazing fields.

Heather - posted on 09/29/2010

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That is the truth!!! 100% it is as hard or as easy as you can make it. NOT that I am making it light. Because it is a hard job, But if you do have some structure to your days, or a game plan if you will it will go alot easier. I learned this from dealing with my own ADHD. Also I can lean towards being ocd, so it helps me to try not to take everything soooo seriously, especially myself, if you know what I mean ;).

Carlie - posted on 09/29/2010

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I am a SAHM with my fourth child and feel a lot more relaxed and am enjoying this loads more than previously. I think this is because we now receive family assistance so there is no financial pressure on me this time, also I have two children at school who help out a lot around the house, and I don't have the pressure to get my kids to a daycare by 7:30am which I had done previously. My house is tidier, I am more patient and still get the occasional time to read a mag. I also make sure I plan my weeks/days and they are pretty structured with what we do and where we go so that I can get that adult conversation time!! I am just loving being at home!! Last time it was very hard as my oldest two are only 13months apart and financially it was hard too!! I think it can be as hard or easy as you make it...

Paula - posted on 09/29/2010

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you summed up a stay home mum's job perfectly and with humor that had me laughing out so loud the kids came in to see what I was laughing at. Our job is 24/7/52 and relentless but the rewards are priceless, my kids are 21 (engaged, working, driving and moving into his first home of his own in 2 weeks ) then comes the 8, 6, and 5 year old. I have special times with each of them and together, but they have times when they bicker from the moment they wake up 'till they go to sleep. One day they took their quilts ,pillows and toys on to the 12ft trampoline in our back garden and played together all day. It was a frame it day. Well its homework time, thanks again for making me laugh. Paula

Chelsea - posted on 09/29/2010

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When I was a new mom, it was VERY difficult. Then I gave each day a job and now it's a breeze. Monday - hang out with my husband/family. Tuesday - work. Wendsday - laundry (All LAUNDRY). Thursday - work. Friday - clean the whole house top to bottom. Saturday - play with the kids. Sunday - church. See? Even with two days of work my house is clean and I'm not stressed one bit. Especially because the house never gets REALLY dirty. Of course, I also think its easier because I have an awesome husband. He doesn't micro manage, he doesn't care when or how I do it, he just trusts that I will. That makes it so much better, I think. I love being the Stay at Home! It's a lot of work, but it's easily managable.

Heather - posted on 09/29/2010

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I didn't see anyone saying anything about being lazy. Just questioning?? It is the biggest job out there.You are on the clock literally 24 hours a day. YOU are a nurse, childcare worker, chef, housekeeper, business manager, vet, teacher, anything else the person responsible for the molding of the mind and morals of our next generation. Can I get an AMEN??? If you can find time to be lazy please let me know ;)

Heather - posted on 09/29/2010

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I know exactly what you mean!! My husband and I have our friday night date night, and yes you should try to have a mandatory date night for the sanctity of your marriage...and sanity. And we don't have alot of money so we inncorpporated (sorry spelling) our date and part of my grocery shopping together. We go to Sam's, then Chick fil a, then Starbuck's for the ride home. We live out in the country so this is a Bit of a drive on friday evening. It gives us time together...And on Friday i go to a womens bible study at my church in the am. It gets me out for several hours and around some of my friends and aquaintences. But I am by nature a somewhat reclusive individual so I have no problem staying in.We go to story time on thursday am at the library also

Alicia - posted on 09/29/2010

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Is this some passive aggressive way of telling us stay at home moms that we`re lazy? Stop putting all of us down and try it, you never know what your reaction will be. I`ve tried both myself.

Liz - posted on 09/29/2010

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I think the important thing to remember about being a SAHM is that it is a huge blessing, but you do need to have time away. It is really easy for your children to become who you are and if you do not allow yourself time to be yourself, for even a few hours a month, you easily forget who you used to be. Being a SAHM is a 24 hour 7 day a week job. If you do not take care of yourself, you will get burnt out and become overwhelmed. It is a lot harder to laugh about the dog and the baby peeing on the floor at the same time when you have been surrounded by it 24/7 month after month. My DD is only 4 1/2 months old but I had not left her, even with my hubby, for more than 20 minutes to run to the pharmacy. I realize that her grandma really wants to watch her for an hour a week, and grocery shopping is much easier when I can focus on just one thing. I end up missing her by the time I get the groceries put away, and I feel like I have had a vacation.

Stephanie - posted on 09/29/2010

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It can be hard work that's for sure. I think it depends on how many kids you have and how old they are. Mine are almost 5 and 3 years old and it does get easier. It wasn't hard with one but when my twins came along it was very hard. Now they all play together and they behave pretty well for the most part. It's easier to get things done around the house these days but we still have bad days and those are hard.

Heather - posted on 09/29/2010

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Let me tell you how I feel.I am 43, but I have been a SAHM for 25yrs. Yep, you do the math my oldest is 25 and my youngest is 14.I also have 3 grandkids. Yes it is work, but isn't anything with an awsome payoff??? Where else do you get to have absolute say in how your kids behave,turnout. you get to see all their firsts.You don't have to come home in the evening and be told about it. Yes it is not easy sometimes but is anything in life easy 100% of the time.If you go to the office or anywhere else you are definitely not garanuteed good or easy days either. At least at home if you want to stay in your pjs you can. You have someone tell you I love you and give you kisses all day long.And hopefully you aren't married to someone sooo anal that when they come home would dare make a remark about anything. You do need to remember that this is your job though. And it IS possible to maintain a decent house and take care of your kids. You shouldn't let it stress you out. Just deal with it. Not all women are equipped to be SAHM. You have to remember it is a very selfless job...sometimes the appreciation level feels low. I am very BLESSED!! my husband tells me thank you all the time, for dinner if the house is extra clean, and remember your relationship with him is very important. If you appreciate him,and he isn't a jerk, he will overlook toys on the floor, a concoction for dinner.

[deleted account]

it depends on what the SAHM is doing. If you sit around with a messy house and puts on the computer, or chat on the phone all day while eating doughnuts , then no it isn't hard. But some moms want more and are busy because of it. Yes it can be hard, especially if your husband doesn't help with much of it (I'm not man-bashing here. Mine is military so I can't always depend on him being there to help, but he is still a great hubby!). I'm so busy with stuff, I barely get time with my friends. Between soccer, boy scouts, ballet, homeschooling, college courses, managing finances, clipping coupons and shopping for the best deal, keeping house, meal planning healthy meals (that only SOMETIMES includes a box. lol) washing clothes, iron uniforms, packing lunches and/or dinners, staying organized, scheduling doctor or dental appointments for 5 different people AND making sure they get there on time...sometimes I don't know how I or any other mom does it.
And yes it is very hard when you were use to working full-time. You miss the adult conversation and interaction and it can wear on you mentally.
It took me a long time to get use to being a SAHM. I use to look for excuses to go back to work but hubby wanted me home to raise the kids. Now I love it! It is hard and challenging at times, but that is what makes it worth while!

Angela - posted on 09/29/2010

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i was a SAHM for the past ten years and just recently started working outside the home. i really don't remember how i "survived" my oldest two's toddler years as i now have three that are under 5 at home and WOW. i honestly have let go of having a spotless home and constantly cleaning up after them. i know it will all get done when i'm totally exhausted of course but i know one day they'll be in school too!

Pamela - posted on 09/29/2010

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It's not the difficulty, because with practice you learn to balance the day to day happenings. Most of it is the repetitiveness of the daily chores that are so thankless in the short run. Our culture pushes the idea that women can have it all; a successful career and a whole and happy family. It just doesn't work.
You have to remember that what you do with and for your children is generational, unlike holding down a job. What your children see you and your husband do on a daily basis will be their foundation for what they will want their family to be like when they grow up.
Yes, you can gag at the messy diapers. You get frustrated with constantly following around your toddler picking up after him/her. You can feel like snarling at your husband when he comes home and wonders why the dinner isn't ready. (If you two are a team, this won't happen ..much)
With all the monotony you also are blessed to see your child grow and you can share the wonder with him or her when they discover new things.
It's a job with little payback until the children get married and then ask you "How ever did you do this, Mom?"

Jennifer - posted on 09/29/2010

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Depends. Do you put your all in everything you do? If you say you have one child and became a stay at home mom after the Govt took the child(public school) then I imagine it is simple for you.

Cydni - posted on 09/29/2010

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I'm a SAHM of two boys. They are both in school and I have worked more while being a SAHM than when I worked outside the home. Not only is being a mom a 24hr job, but you also have all the activities, PTSA, etc and then you have the husbands stuff as well.

This year I have added up the hours that I am working between the PTSA, Sea Cadets, Cub Scouts and things with my Husbands work and it comes to just about 60hrs the same amount as what he works when there is overtime (more than he puts in at work w/o it and definitely more than him if you add on the 24hrs a day for the household stuff).

Do I find it hard? Yes. Hard as in complaining about it hard; No. I look at it as good old fashioned Hard Work that I value. That's what raising kids is and always will be. Married or single, Male or Female it is just plain hard to raise kids these days.

For the working moms out there I applaud you for following your heart and doing what you need to do for your families.

For the SAHM's the next time someone asks what you do tell them you are a Domestic Engineer. My boys gave me that title a few years ago and it stuck :). The look on peoples faces is classic while they stand there confused most of the time.

Paulette - posted on 09/28/2010

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I'm a SAHM and I think it has it's hard times and easy times. We don't always get to have adult to adult conversations each day. It can be very frustrating and that can really add up after awhile. People might just want to vent. I've done both and I'd rather be at home. For me it was harder to run the kids to the babysitter then try to make it to work, worry if they are behaving, then pick them up, supper and bedtime. So I think it's easier. Also some people are not good at organizing and cleaning and managing things. So housework is hard for some. I'm not good with that stuff so I will ask my husband to help but not that often because he works so hard everyday. We take a day at a time and I think it makes things easier.

Jamie - posted on 09/28/2010

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You have no idea if you dont have a toddler lol. trying to cook a meal, do laundry, vacuum, shower, clean in general, fold laundry when your child is unfolding them, get a moment to yourself before you go muchly insane, between the screaming, whining, wanting to be held, chasing them around, keeping them out of stuff.. ive been a stay at home mom for over a year now and some days i just want to scream. It was easier when my daughter was a baby but now that shes on the go, it is very hard to hold onto my sanity.

Amy - posted on 09/28/2010

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~LOL~ Your son isn't in his terrible twos yet. THAT'S when life gets complicated. And to have them so close in age...yeah, it's going to get hard. Enjoy the relaxation while you can. I know I didn't enjoy the times my daughter was low maintenance enough.

[deleted account]

I really dont think its that hard. But I only have just 1 kid and he's not walking yet. Perhaps when he starts walking, I might start tearing my hair out. Although he's a superfast crawler already and getting stuck into everything right now. He LOVES to chew. Chew furniture, chew clothes in the washing basket, chew the clothes I am wearing, chew my shoes, chew the safetygate, etc.

But I stick with what I initially said thats its all about timing and planning. I plan the following day ahead when I go to bed at night.

[deleted account]

Pfft, not hard at all. Im a single mum since 6 weeks pregnant and am also partially disabled.
Its all about timing and planning. My son is 9 months old right now and is able to sit up by himself and play bu himself. Because of that, i get the chance to clean the house. When he has his first morning nap, I put food in the slowcooker so that at 6pm I have dinner ready.

Its all very simple and easy to do.

Angel - posted on 09/28/2010

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I don't think it is hard in the physical sense.
What I think has been hard is the isolation, no adult conversation or interaction.
Mentally it is hard and tiring. I feel lonely and depressed. Now that mine is starting school, I am SO looking forward to working, getting some non-mommy time, I can't wait! :D
I always felt like my husband got a break each day he got to go to work, me, being a stay at home mom, my "boss" was there 24/7 and I could never get a break.

Angie - posted on 09/28/2010

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Some people are not the stay at home type. I am one of them. That doesn't mean that it has to be hard just apply some of your other skills and it will all work out. I've learned so much being at home it helps you grow. That's just what I think.

Emily - posted on 09/28/2010

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Thanks to the lady that posted the giant baby poop story! I am laughing because I have pretty much been there. Now that it's been awhile since poo-spolsion I can laugh. Then again, I just jinxed myself and fully expect something similar to happen tomorrow ; )

Amy - posted on 09/28/2010

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I can totally relate! I love the scenario where you beat the hubby to death with the dog and bury his body in the back yard. ~L~ So like my days sometimes! Thanks for the laugh....so true! I can so relate. Hey, have you ever considered standup comedy? I think you'd be great at it! Seriously!

Jenny - posted on 09/28/2010

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I have two kids, 3 and almost 2. My son has minor special needs, so he goes to preschool 5 days a week, and a speech therapist 2 days a week. Of course the times throw off my daughters (2 yr old) nap times horribly so she is almost soo cracky on tues and thursday. Its also on the other side of town, so we leave at 8:00 am and dont get home til 2:30. At which point I let them take an hour to an hour and a half nap and clean the house like crazy while they are asleep. ONLY to have them trash the living room 15 mins after they get up. And then its out to make dinner which then dirties the kitchen all over again. And then we are potty training and so there is more clothes to wash, more towels from cleaning up accidents, etc. Every 30 mins Im making him sit on the potty chair for atleast 5 mins and if I leave the bathroom he gets mad. And then my daughter is in the living room bawling her eyes out cuz she wants to be in the bathroom with us. But then if I let her in she wont leave him alone and then he wont go potty. Lets see, then bed time comes, that takes a good 30 mins to an hour depending on if its bath night or not. And finally they are in bed, i go thru and clean the house AGAIN and then finally get to sit down. If Im lucky its by 8:00pm but thats not a promise. And I do this all while my husband is at work, at law school, or sleeping. He helps on the weekends, but that is the ONLY time we see him. So in my situation YES its hard work!

Rhianna - posted on 09/28/2010

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im quite lucky i guess in that sense, i dont have people coming by, all i do is cooking cleaning, taking my son to the park when its nice enough ish weather. other times i spend it with him drawing, painting, reading, writing, all of the educational things they need to learn before school. rest of the time he will watch his movies, or he'll play cars on his road mat, or anything. he's quite laid back, but still has his sharp sides as well which are dealt with with ease.

Candyce - posted on 09/28/2010

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Definitely! There are times when it's physically difficult (those late nights and early mornings trying to get everything done while the kids and dh are sleeping), but most times it's a mental strain. Especially when you have little or no support, even your spouse thinks you sit on your ass all day, your kids are difficult, the house is always a mess no matter how often you clean (then getting bitched at about it, like a child), someone's always hungry, people keep calling or coming by, etc. It's a never-ending drain of cooking, cleaning, soothing, cooking, cleaning, soothing, cooking, cleaning, soothing and it makes you want to yank out your hair!!!!!

Blessed Be

Rhianna - posted on 09/28/2010

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Totally agree - working even full time with overtime hours wont pay for daycare - £40 a day ???? thats a laugh. I myself am one of those who is totally isolated. besides seeing my partner and his son every now and then, i dont have any family members or friends around me who could help out from time to time, so i make do the best i can while i can. and once hes ins chool in january that will be our little break apart and when he returns home that will eb our most valued and treasured tiem together. it will all seem worthwhile.

[deleted account]

Hardest part about being a SAHM...for me is that you don't get a break. Yes working parents have a job that have to preform, but you get that 4-8 hours a day away from your kids, social interaction with adults other then your spouses. When your a SAHM, everything you do revoles around making sure you can keep the kids entertianed. I will say in a lot of cases I think working moms can manage their time better, but really it's no easier for us to keep our houses clean then it is for you, infact I would say just the fact that our kids are home all day makes house work that much harder. We have 8 hours of day care, and heaven forbid we have a doctors appiontment of our own. Most SAHM's don't have the convienace of a family member to help out with the kids from time to time. an dit's stressful begin home with a child (or 2 or 4) all day and do everything else you would like to do in a day. I'm not saying one way is easier or harder. BUT it is more stressful and being a SAHM is in no way a lazy job or and easy out, I chose to be a SAHM becuase my income wouldn't have even paid for daycare

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