is it safe for my 4 month old to sleep w/ mom and dad

BETHANY - posted on 03/26/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

9

17

1

My son just always cries when i lay him down in his crib, but as soon as i lay him down next to me he goes to sleep and thats the only way he will sleep. what should i do?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kel - posted on 08/26/2014

4

0

0

Co-sleeping is dangerous bottom line! You could roll over on the baby or forget when/if the baby is even in your bed etc. If a parent is such a 'light sleeper' then they can get out of their bed and check on their baby in the crib during the night. Cribs were made for a reason.

[deleted account]

Also, I want to add... As far as safety goes, a lot of people will say it's unsafe. But I think it depends on the parents. If you are a heavy sleeper or a drinker, I'd say no. You don't want to accidentally role or smother the baby. I am a very light sleeper, so I felt it was fine..& it was.

Brandy - posted on 03/26/2010

1,353

0

157

I'm a co-sleeping mom. My daughter slept with us for the first 6 months, transitioned to her crib just fine, then just came back into bed when she was sick or teething. My son is 10 weeks old and I am co-sleeping with him.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

17 Comments

View replies by

Chet - posted on 08/26/2014

2,093

0

587

Part of the problem with co-sleeping research is that there isn't a clear definition of what constitutes co-sleeping. Some people consider anything within arms reach co-sleeping.
We used a side-carred crib sometimes, with our children who were happy with that, and I still called it co-sleeping.

Not all babies are amenable to being transferred though. With some of our kids, there were times when all I could do was gently unlatch them and they slept on me. This happened a lot when they were sick or teething.

What I think is tragic is parents and babies who are truly sleep deprived, and suffering from it terribly, but only because the parents have been scared away from co-sleeping. Good sleep is hugely important for healthy development in children, poor sleep and exhaustion are very strongly linked with poor ability to parent, and for some moms, sleeping side by side with their baby is the only thing that works.

I've never heard of a case of a nursing mother who wasn't under the influence of something (alcohol, sleep aids, prescription medication, illegal drugs) rolling over onto her baby. When you hear of co-sleeping gone badly it's usually unrelated persons sleeping with the baby, non-nursing mothers, unsafe sleeping situations (like puffy furniture), a parent being under the influence of something, etc. Although the AAP does not support co-sleeping in the same bed, there is evidence that when done properly co-sleeping is no riskier than anything else.

Kel - posted on 08/26/2014

4

0

0

I have four kids as well (one is a 4 month old right now) and I keep the crib beside my bed. I would always feed my babies in the bed (while I was awake) and then I would just transfer them to the crib once they fell asleep. I could never live with the guilt if something happened while the baby was in my bed. It's just not worth the risk to me. Each to their own I guess!

Chet - posted on 08/26/2014

2,093

0

587

We slept with all four of our kids. Co-sleeping made it possible for everyone in our family to get the sleep that we needed. In our case, I decided that sleep was sufficiently important to accept any minor or potential risks.

In general though, I had confidence in the professionals who claim that co-sleeping is natural and safe (people like Dr. Sears and Dr. James McKenna). The research on co-sleeping is conflicting, but I had greater confidence in the pro-co-sleeping research than the anti-cosleeping research.

Catherine - posted on 03/26/2010

103

37

12

Before I read any of your other responces I will tell you that my son, who is now 2 and sleeps in his own crib, slept with us til he was 8 months old. he was very easy to transition him to his crib. What I did was started to let him take his naps in his crib and then when he was getting bigger like 7 or 8 months he wanted more space so he liked that he had his own space. AND I never worried about rolling over on him. if you are just put something in between you and the baby.

BETHANY - posted on 03/26/2010

9

17

1

Thank you larrisa. it seems like we are similar, my older son is two and he slept w/ us up til his brother was born and now he is in his own bed in his room. i just dont want him to feel replaced... My nephew passed away from SIDS, so i am terrified and just want my 4 month old to be near me so i know he is ok.

Larissa - posted on 03/26/2010

5

0

0

I have two boys...the first I co-slept with until he was 2 years old (and yes, it was VERY difficult to get him out of my bed!). My 2nd is almost 3 months and I co-sleep with him and will for at least the first year. I believe we have an issue with SIDS nowadays cause babies are put in rooms by themselves to sleep. Back in the old days, babies slept with the parents cause the house was about as big as one room! Babies are learning how to breathe and if you research it, SIDS is basically forgetting to breathe again. When your baby co-sleeps, they hear you breathing and that reminds them to breathe. I definately don't recommend sleeping with your baby if you drink to the point of drunk or take sleeping pills. Also, I sleep a LOT lighter than my husband and I either put a pillow between the baby and my husband, or put myself. Your baby wont even realize he's a seperate person from you until he's at least a year. I think it is traumatic for babies to go from a nice, tight warm space for months on end to a big, open area in a matter of minutes. I think co-sleeping makes for more confident, independant children because one of their most basic needs are being met--security. If your husband is against it, you can show him "attachment parenting" articles, or remind him its only for a short time in your life.

BETHANY - posted on 03/26/2010

9

17

1

Thank you for all the help moms. just wanted to know if i wasnt the only one doing it.

[deleted account]

My first was in my bed from a few weeks to 3 years and she was fine..not a baby that moved much during the night so no problems.I took all the safety measures to insure a safe sleeping time for her.My second thankfully took to her bed from birth to 7-8mths and then started to get bad with her teeth coming down.I put her into bed one early morning after a bad night up&down with her crying.I woke to see her feet..she was under the blankets and i nearly had a heart attack..i pulled back the covers thinking she was dead to be so honest and she was okay but i never would do that again not with her...you have to be so careful..really make sure you take all safety in to account..



i don't want to scare you as it worked so well with my first but its serious and so easy to go wrong.hope you can respect me being so honest but thats the reality of the situation.

Mindy - posted on 03/26/2010

9

6

1

I slept wit my son, u both needs sleep and if its the only way i dont see y not!!

Altho its up to you if u wanna have hard time dealing with ur child and trying to get him or her in their own bed when its time.. good luck

[deleted account]

it might be hard at first to put them in their own bed but you have to do whats right for them you can't just put them in your bed just so you can get some sleep... if they sleep in your bed for a long time it will cause problems for them down the road when they are older... i think they should go into their own bed as soon as they sleep through the night it is so much easier...

Alicia - posted on 03/26/2010

41

33

5

I had my son, who turned one last month, sleep with us from the day he came home from the hospital. It was the only way he would sleep. I tried the crib a few times, but he would just cry. He would not give up. I just bought him a toddler bed three weeks ago and he has not been in our bed since. For some reason he just did not like the crib. My husband was more upset about not having the baby in our bed. He wakes up more than i do to check on him.lol I think it is a choice between you and your husband.

Heather - posted on 03/26/2010

4,634

42

1135

If you let them sleep with you it will take longer to get them to sleep on their own. However they do make co-sleepers which attach to the side of your bed that makes it safer... I had a friend who used one. I know lots of parents that let their kids sleep with them, but then lost the intimate part of their marriage. None of them were happy, and it even led to divorce in one case...

Nicole - posted on 03/26/2010

29

18

2

My 8month old has the same issue, but then again, I never jut laid him in his crib to put him to sleep. At bedtime he lays on the bed with me and watches a movie with his bottle, after he falls asleep I put him in the crib. It is a neat trick so you don't start a bad habbit that is hard to break.

[deleted account]

Both of my children slept with me. My 1st actually slept with me for 3 yrs, but that was because I was single. Now that I'm married, my baby slept with us for about the first 8 months. It was difficult transitioning her to her own crib, but now that she is, we can try for more babies.. LOL

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms