Is their anything wrong with using an implement for giving a Spanking???

Jenni - posted on 03/14/2012

I'm so glad this is illegal in my country.

Stifler's - posted on 03/13/2012

Exactly Casey if he hits you it's assult and abuse why is it different because it's a child.

Casey - posted on 03/13/2012

@ Ash, well as long as you have proverbs written on it it must be okay, otherwise it would just be a plain old paddle.



Spanking, hitting or causing your child pain as punishment leads them to fear you. If they do something wrong, following through with consequences (removal of privilages etc) to their actions everytime they are naughty is way more effective. What if they have done something wrong that could cause them to danger themselves? Then are too scared to tell you coz they're just gonna get hit anyway.



I could just imagine me saying to my husband, sorry honey I dented then car because I didn't keep an eye out for that letterbox you told me about (example) so he hits me because I didn't listen. If I wouldn't stand for that why should I inflict the same on my child?

Katherine - posted on 03/13/2012

YES!!!!!!



It's dehumanizing.



Domestic corporal punishment (also referred to as corporal punishment in the home or parental corporal punishment) typically involves the corporal punishment of a child by a parent or guardian in the home—normally the spanking or slapping of a child with the parent's open hand, but occasionally with an implement such as a belt, slipper, cane or paddle.



In many cultures, parents have historically been regarded as having the duty of disciplining their children, and the right to spank them when appropriate. However, attitudes in many countries changed in the 1950s and 60s following the publication by pediatrician Dr Spock of Baby and Child Care in 1946, which advised parents to treat children as individuals, whereas the previous conventional wisdom had been that child rearing should focus on building discipline, and that, e.g., babies should not be "spoiled" by picking them up when they cried. The change in attitude was followed by legislation. Since 1979, 29 countries around the world (at 2010) have outlawed domestic corporal punishment of children.[1] In Europe, 22 countries have banned the practice. And in many other places the practice is considered controversial.



In Africa, the Middle East, and in most parts of Eastern Asia (including China, Taiwan, Japan, and Korea), corporal punishment of one's own children is lawful. In Singapore and Hong Kong, punishing one's own child with corporal punishment is legal but not particularly encouraged.[2] Culturally, many people in the region believe a certain amount of corporal punishment for their own children is appropriate and necessary, and thus such practice is accepted by society as a whole.

Stifler's - posted on 03/13/2012

i think there is something wrong with it. spanking isn't discipline either it's punishment for bad behaviour.

Jodi - posted on 03/13/2012

In most places, using an implement is illegal and constitutes child abuse. Many places also have laws regarding the appropriate age for spanking, and many have a 2 hour time limit on marks. (as in, any mark lasting longer than 2 hours would be considered abusive.)



I absolutely do not agree with using any sort of tool, belt, paddle, switch...nothing for spanking. Spanking, with an open palm, over clothing should be reserved for "emergency" uses, my daughter is 3, I have spanked her twice. Most people I know who believe in spanking only have to spank their children a few times a year, if that. So yes, using an implement is wrong and abusive.

Beth - posted on 03/13/2012

I'm not against spanking. Before I had kids I thought I would be, but on occasion it is the only punishment that gets through to our son that the situation is serious. But, I drew the line at picking up an object to hit my son with. My mom used a wooden spoon on us, and to this day I feel weird about it.

Toni - posted on 03/13/2012

Yes there is something very wrong with using any implement to spank...that is abuse. There are far better ways to discipline than to spank, I agree with the poster who said it is lazy parenting.



Ash, the rod described in the bible is a shepherds rod used to guide the sheep not hit them and you most certainly do not need to beat your child with a paddle (and yes if you are hitting your child with a paddle you are beating them!) to correct them, i have never laid a finger (or object) on my children and they are a credit to me (I have been told this multiple times, it's not just my opinion). You should guide your children with love and respect, you cannot respect a person if you are hitting them with an object...it disgusts me that anyone would still do that!

**Jackie** - posted on 03/13/2012

I don't believe in spanking at all. I won't judge a mother who does spank because I can only go by my own life and what works for me. In my opinion (and I am not a doctor of any kind lol) I don't think that it teaches a child anything. To me, all you are showing them is pain and that you can hurt them.



I would only imagine the reason for using an implement for spanking is because maybe the parent would feel like it wasn't necessarily them hitting their child? Maybe that if they used a belt it was the belt hurting the child and not them entirely...which would be ridiculous in my opinion.



I was only spanked once in my life and my husband was beaten for even putting his elbows on the dinner table. We both agree that it solves and teaches nothing.



But, to each their own.

Ash - posted on 03/13/2012

We have a thin paddle sort of thing that has a couple of proverbs written on it,



"He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently. " Proverbs 13:24



"Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul. " Proverbs 29:17



Now, this doesn't mean we beat him senseless, lol many people assume this haha.. We just use it when it's absolutely necessary, usually the threat of us getting it is more than enough.. And I agree, hands are for showing love, but I wouldnt use a belt or a spoon.



my son is 4yo btw

Georgia - posted on 03/13/2012

I support spanking, but I don't think parents should use an object to do it. There can be different issues for some parents. Some moms may not feel that their hand is going to have much of an effect if they spank their nine year old through his/her blue jeans. I usually solved that problem by pulling down their pants and spanking them in their undies. I only had to do that a few times and the kids got the message quickly.

Lady Heather - posted on 12/14/2011

I don't even think it's legal to use an implement for spanking where I live. I don't think it's okay, but I'm anti-spanking so...

Tamika - posted on 12/14/2011

no Spanking can be useful in certain situations but never when you are visible angry. I always have my girls have a seat if they have done something really bad before i spank. I take a minute to calm myself and then i let them know why they are getting a spanking and afterwards i let them cry for a little then i hug them and let them know that i love them. It seems to work so far. Depending upon what they've done determines whether its a time out or a spanking that is needed.

Jaime - posted on 12/13/2011

I only agree with spanking with your hand and i do not think that should be used every time your child is bad. i have spanked my son on the butt before if what he did was dangerous...like one time when he almost ran out into the street without looking...in a case like that you need something that will scare them from doing it again....other than that if he is exhibiting "bad" behavior typical for his age(4 yrs old) i do not spank him..instread i take something away that he likes, such as a video game, toy etc and i find that to be much more effective than hitting....once you get on the habit of spanking for everything it becomes ineffective...i do believe hitting with an object is abuse..i would never think of hitting my baby with a spoon, belt or any object for that matter...why would i want my son to be afraid of me??? i dont want my son to fear me...i want him to respect me and understand why certain things are not acceptable....i dont want to be a monster in his eyes....i think hitting with objects is demeaning and degrading, as well as smacking in the face.

Kelina - posted on 12/13/2011

lol shauna my brother won't own wooden spoons for the same reason

Angela - posted on 12/12/2011

Not necessarily opposed to spanking, I was occasionally spanked & don't feel emotionally damaged. However, we don't spank in our house because we've just found it doesn't work for us. Our oldest was spanked 4 or 5 times but it wasn't any more effective then timeouts so my hubby & I have agreed not to do it anymore, plus, we felt so bad afterwards. I mean really, who wants to make their kid cry because they hurt them (even if it's only on the bottom) I worry it's too easy for spanking to become the go-to method of punishment & I think there is often a better way that will actually teach your child something about behavior & expectations rather then just threatening them with pain. In North Dakota it is illegal to use anything other then your hand to spank, so you may want to look into your states legislation on child abuse & think hard about what you're trying to achieve before hitting your child with something

Lisa - posted on 12/12/2011

In the state of Minnesota it is illegal to spank with anything other than your hand. It is concidered abuse if youu spank your child and the mark lasts more than two hours. That is Minnesota law.
I spanked my oldest once, he came up turned around and punched me in the face. I took that as a sign that I needed to find a better way to guide my children to making apropraite behavior.

Kelina - posted on 12/12/2011

I think it depends although I most definitely agree with the other ladies that using something other than your hand is wrong. You cannot tell how hard you've hit and how much pain you've inflicted if you are using something else. I do occasionally spank my son although it's dwindled down to "if you're not sitting on it i'm going to smack it!" He doesn't need it otherwise. Being told that he's not allowed to go to grandmas because he's not listening, or we won't go to the park, or we'll have to go home is enough and he's 3. And when he did get more spankings it was always with my hand, and always controlled. My mom never spanked me but my dad sure did. guess what? I hate him. Then again, those spankings also weren't balanced out with love or respect, something my son receives in abundance. I also don't believe in spanking once a child is old enough to reason with a few exceptions.

Jenni - posted on 12/12/2011

"I seriously think mothers need to stop reading all of the modern child psychology books, and go back trusting and believing in their God-given common sense, intuition and instincts!!"

I didn't read any psychology books, common sense, instincts and conscience told me hitting a child, or any living thing for the matter... is wrong.

And I echo Jodi, in my country... hitting with an implement of any kind is ILLEGAL and considered child abuse. As is spanking a child before the age of two or after the age of 12.

If it's working so well for you, how come you're still spanking your teenagers? Will you be there to spank them when they're adults? Sorry, I prefer to teach my children an *actual* lesson about a behaviour and *why* they shouldn't do it, with *real* consequences. Not just that if they do something I don't like, I'll hit them. That's just lazy parenting, imho. That's not how it works in the real world. I wouldn't get hit by my boss if I mucked up at work. He wouldn't break out the switch, bend me over his knee and give me a paddling. He'd probably send me home for the day without pay. See *real* consequence? Just like if my kids were to act out at the park, I bring them home. And wow! They don't act out at the park and I didn't have to hit em with a belt to teach them that its not in their best interest to act out. Imagine that!

Jodi - posted on 12/12/2011

"Is their anything wrong with using an implement for giving a Spanking???"

Short answer: Yes, there is something VERY wrong with it.

Long answer: In my country it is illegal and you would have your kids taken from you because it is considered abuse. I find it abhorrent. I don't even believe you should spank a child because:
(1) it is unnecessary
(2) if you spanked an adult it would be considered assault. How is it not assault if you hit someone smaller than you?
(3) in 31 countries in the world it is illegal for a reason
(4) it is a form of bullying - when someone bigger hits someone smaller to make them do what they want them to do, that is bullying

Basically, it is the punishment of choice for someone not intelligent enough or creative enough to use a suitable alternative.

Kelly - posted on 12/12/2011

I agree with Kay, it does not sound as though you are asking for advice, it sounds more like you are asking for justification of a technique you use. My question for you would be Why do you need our justification?

That said, my parents spanked me, and it made me vengeful. I did not feel loved, and to this day only feel they love me when I am pleasing them. They were NOT abusive by any standard, but the discipline method they chose was not effective for me and is not something I would do to my own child.

My child aims to please me because he WANTS to. Because I love him and give him attention regardless of his behavior, I don't have to deal with him throwing tantrums or getting into trouble just to get my attention. Also, because I respect him and treat him with love, he chooses to treat me the same way. If I were treating him like a mindless animal who couldn't be trusted, he would act like one, but by treating him like the person I want him to be, he becomes that person.

We teach more with action than words--you can explain your love all you want after that spanking, but that kid is going to learn more from that spanking than your words. What does spanking teach? Well, for starters it teaches that violence is the best way to control people. Second, it teaches that being bigger or older than someone gives one person the right to hit another. Third, it does not teach a natural consequence, so conversely, it teaches that there is no consequence if they don't get caught by someone allowed to hit them.

Sorry.

Kay - posted on 12/12/2011

It seem that you asked and then answered your own question. From your answer, I get that you think that what you are doing is right and justified. I doubt that you are open to different opinions about discipline. If you hit you children as a method of disciplining them, what is to keep them from hitting their brothers and sisters. They are just following your example . And when they hit their siblings and you see it ,you will respond by spanking. The issue of "using an implement"' and which implement to use, now that is just chilling. If I saw you disciplining you child with a belt, I would stop you. You can be reported to social services for such behavior by teachers, doctor etc. Your Grandmother and Mom passed this down to you. Let it stop with you. It is your responsibility to create a home where your children can learn proper behavior and respect without the threat of being hit. Yes, there are other ways and this is possible. If you lose your temper while disciplining your child in this manner, child abuse can result. Please be open to other ways . There are a lot of Mom who will support you if you want to find another way of teaching your children right and wrong.