Is there any other stay at home moms that get NO alone time and stress about it?
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Zilma - posted on 11/05/2009
I'm in the same boat! I have a 2 y/o daughter and 3 y/o son, and of course, I'm a single mom and working from home. What I do to "believe" I have time for me, I cook enough for lunch, to make sure I'll have the same for dinner. Start working at 1pm until 1am, or 3am, until job is done. I'm so happy to be with the kids all day long, but I need some time too. So by 6pm I sit down to watch a movie with them do to they still quiet, and is nice. At 8pm shower time, milk and bed! I have to still working, but at least is smoother the night for me. They even come to the bathroom with me, that door is never closed unless I have visit! When I finish working, a nice shower, a few minutes to relax and then to bed. But I have a schedule with them and is been working fine so far.
Brianna - posted on 11/05/2009
The only time I have time to myself is when my 11 month old son is sleeping, thats when I can do all the cleaning, doing laundry, make dinner when my husband gets home at 1:30-2:00 in the morning. My son only gets one nap in when he was younger 2 maybe 3 naps. Plus where we live, I don't have any friends to go hang out with and just be relaxed for once. It also makes me upset when my husband goes out with his friends and gets to have fun.
Amanda - posted on 11/05/2009
TOTALLY understand this one!! I really like the idea of a schedule,though. My husband loves schedules. I have three kids and one on the way, I'm a stay at home mom, and my husband is military. NO TIME TO MYSELF!!!!!
Tanya - posted on 11/05/2009
I'm a stay at home mom and i barely have enough time to sit down and write this. It Is very sressful. I've got two babies 12 and a half months apart. My son 17 months is the oldest and he's a handful in itself. I made the mistake of taking naps with him and cosleeping with him, now i cant lay him down during naps without him waking up and bedtime we rock him to sleep and then put him in his crib and bout an hour or two later he's awake and wants in our bed. I'd let him cry himself to sleep but I'm scared to cause he has febrile seizures and I'm scared he'll get to worked up and get too warm and seize. I'm not sure that could happen but scared to find out. Needless to say my youngest sleeps in her own bed every nap and bedtime. so i definately understand bout not having any alone time. Its very frustrating.
Elizabeth - posted on 11/05/2009
YES!!!! i have a 15 month old and i dont even get to shower by myself!!!! my husband works 3pm-11pm and cant fall asleep till like 2 or 3 and then sleeps till when ever and sometimes he works a double till 8am! so i feel like a single parent and it absolutly sucks! i wish i could get and hr a week just to go get my nails done or something
Shanda - posted on 11/05/2009
The only alone time i get is when the kids have gone to bed.I'm home day in and day out with the kids.I have no one to talk to but the kids most of the time. My kids are 4 and 8 mouths old not much to talk about.I get stressed out all the time.
Emily - posted on 11/05/2009
Oh yea! and its taking a toll on my mental health. I went to my O.B and she told me i had to take an hour everyday to help with my depression. it helps to take a bubble bath or sew or do a hobby! try it!
Melanie - posted on 11/05/2009
I do now that my babies are a little older. One's 3 the other is 1. They both are in bed at 8pm, so that's my time. There both good sleepers thank goodness. But by 8 o'clock I'm totally exhausted, because they go all day. But I shouldn't complain because it wasn't that long ago that I had no alone time at all.
Mairead - posted on 11/05/2009
Hey ! Alone time is deffinately hard to get !!! I have found myself sitting on the loo reading a magazine, now that's bad ha ha. My partner works alot of hours and tries to give me time off when he can but it's not very often. You have to MAKE time for yourself i think, otherwise you stress so much that you can't possibly function properly. Start planning at least one hour a week for yourself, even if it's only walking or going to meet a friend. I demanded it and have found myself handling the kids much easier !!
Cassandra - posted on 11/05/2009
I feel like i've been in everyones shoes. After my son was born I was a single mother in the Army with no family around a very little friends. It was hard to get me time and even harder to find a babysitter who would watch a little baby for a good price and enough time to do anything. Now Im married and a stay at home mother and it's killing me! I love my son so much but he drives me crazy! I get one hour when he's napping, if he will take one, and thats spent cleaning. My husband is in the Army and thinks that when he gets home its his turn to relax, because I don't do anything, and then he wants all of my attention. I make a waxing appointment and hair appointment every month on different days so I can get away. He keeps the boy at home while I go out and do girly stuff that niether of them want to do with me. Before then anythingI wanted to do hubby wanted to come with which inturn means the kid is coming too so make something to do that he wont do with you and that you cant take the kids with you and make it look like your asking him to stay with the kids.
Cynthia - posted on 11/05/2009
I have a 2 year old little girl that is under my feet all the time an all day I don't even get time to shower and if I do she is in with me . My husband works all day so when he comes home he does not want to do any thing . I live about 3 hours from my family witch makes it even harded for me. but I have just got used to it, i think in time there will be time for me I'm just wating for it .
Diana - posted on 11/05/2009
I am lucky to be a stay at home mom. Not many can afford to. My daughter is three and she still showers with me. I get to go potty with the door wide open, and she crawls in bed with me everynight around 2 am. My husband is a truck driver and is home 38 hours a week. I finally had a nervous breakdown when she was 20 months old that consisted of lots of crying and blubbering. Now I have found a pre-k that she goes to twice a week. On these days I refuse to even clean house or grocery shop. Instead I go to a friends house to scrapbook. And if thats not available I stay in my pajamas. Even now I am typing with one hand while my daughter lays on me! I love my daughter, buts ok to admit you dont like being a mom all the time. Sometimes I wish that I had gone back to work at the six week mark. Now I've been home for so long my resume is obsolete.
Missy - posted on 11/05/2009
Yessss! lol but I found out about a drop-in daycare on base and I take my son 2 days a week 5 hours each day and i get 2 clean relax and do what ever its fabulous =) lol u should find out if u have 1 whereever ur stationed. Here u can use it 3 days a week and it costs 3$/hour and they feed them breakfast lunch and a snack! hope this helps
Anna - posted on 11/05/2009
yes me..don't get me wrong I love being an at home mom but sometimes you need to have some alone time.I never get it I am always at home with my youngest (he just turned 1), my other 2 are in school full time but it does get overwhelming..I don't go anywhere all day not even at night I am home 24/7. Even on the weekend we are home. My husband works and goes to school so I just stay home..I ccannot even take a buble bath without one of the kids asking me to help with something I promise I think the only word they know is MOMMY. LOL
Savannah - posted on 11/05/2009
Yes! I love my little girl, but I get absolutly NO alone time! My Mom and I went to the grocery store and ran errands for 3 hours on Saturday, and at 2 hours my babys dad was calling me freaking out bc the baby wouldn't stop crying :(. Oh well, a Mother's work is never done!
Charlotte - posted on 11/05/2009
Oh Yes! lol. I've been a stay at home mom now for 3 years, my daughter is 4. I have no privacy left with her. lol. She starts kindergarten next year and I can't wait! It has it's perks and it's drawbacks on being with them all the time, but I would not trade my time with her for anything.
Kellie - posted on 11/05/2009
I am a new mom to a beautiful 2.5 month old and because I had such a hard time with PPD I told my husband that if I don't have some me time he would have to put me in some institution. Thankfully we were able to get a nanny for 8 hours a week so I can work part-time and get some errands done and not feel like all I ever do is take care of the baby.
Dianne - posted on 11/04/2009
Thank God I am not the only one, I have a 4 month old son and I am a first time mother and I stay at home, I know no one in the town I am living in my husband is out of the home for a minimum of 13 hours a day and when he comes home I may just get him to be alone with the baby enough to have my bath every other day, sometimes I just put the baby in the bathroom with me in his boppy bouncer and take my chances then my hubby complains that we have no couples time, I am going crazy. I had a long life being on my own and having a great job now I just feel that I am plodding along, but I guess from all I have read it gets worse, lol until the get to start school and maybe then it will be a bit better, yippee 5 whole years to go. lol
Angie - posted on 11/04/2009
What is this "alone time" word that your talking about? LOL, my alone time consist of a shower if one of the kids doesn't have to "go", going to the bathroom but only if the youngest is captured at the moment by his fav show, or if I set the alarm for 30 mins earlier than usual. Although that last one has been known to back fire and wake the youngest!
I finally just excepted that my alone time will come when the kids are grown and then I'll be wanting them around. Enjoy them while their young, have your best friend on speed dial for emergency's, make sure your fav choc snack is hidden very well and just breathe.
Myra - posted on 11/04/2009
I feel you! I don't even know what I'd do if I got some time to myself anymore. I've forgotten what I enjoy doing. My daughter (who is 17mo old) can get the bathroom door open some of the time, so I'm not even guaranteed a shower or going to use the rest room alone.
I ask over and over for my husband to watch our daughter, (and god help him, he does try), but he does things HE has an interest in...not the things she has an interest in, so she comes running to me after just a minute.
Mary - posted on 11/04/2009
I am glad I am not the only mom out there that feels this way. Most of the moms I know work out side the home and go on all kinds dates with their husband when i am lucking if I see my husband 3 hrs a day. We cannot even make plans for a date cause he might get called in to work. when he had his old job we picked one night every week for a date night then I would get a night 4 girls night and he would take sat morning or mid day for his time with his buddies for paint ball. but now him and i are both stressed.
Jamie - posted on 11/04/2009
I know how you feel. I'm stay at home mom and I'm only 19. I Love my boys but I do feel like I could lose my mind at times. Thats why when my husband get home from work, I leave it up to him to take care of the kids for an hr. That way I can get some work done around the house/ just relax for a bit. One thing that keeps me sane is knowing I only have two, and that my mom did it with 7 of us. Man I really don't know how she stayed at home with 7 kids all day long. lol. And to think I want at least 4/5.
Candice - posted on 11/04/2009
I don't get much alone time either, but believe me, when I do, it seems to go by much too fast! I must be a glutton for punishment though. My son just started preschool this year, and all summer I was looking forward to only having one kid at home twice a week. Then they asked if I could volunteer, and I said yes, not realizing this was going to be every Tuesday. So now, I only have the occasional Thursdays, but I try to make the time count!
Jamie - posted on 11/04/2009
OH yeah! Somedays I get so mad or very short as well. I have a two year old and almost 7 month old. My husband works two jobs and is never home! So now I created a problem if I want some me time I end up staying up after my girls go to bed and that usually means I'm wore out the whole next day :(
Jessica - posted on 11/04/2009
My husband left 3 months ago to Iraq and my daughter got bad seperation anxiety, so I get absolutely NO ALONE TIME because she is always attached to me.
And she won't even take a nap anymore (at 18 months!) unless I am holding her. And she won't go to sleep at night until I do even if it's midnight.
Try to find someone that can watch your baby for you, so that you can at least get an hour or half hour of just YOU time. I hope that you have someone who can do that for you!
Aisa - posted on 11/04/2009
the first month hubby did not help out as much as he is starting too now, still i feel like while he is just sitting there playing his PS3 he should get up and cook or do house work while i have the bub not me holding bub and multi tasking.
i found when bub was asleep that i'll have a bath and soak till he wakes or even just throw a movie on while cradling him.
Bobbie - posted on 11/04/2009
I feel as though as if I have no alone time. I'm only raising one kid cause the other got adopted. But I know how you feel. My bf works nights and on the weekends he don't help a whole lot. Only alone time is the dentist if that counts.lol. Otherwise it's trying to clean and not get aprecated much for that. So yeah, just gotta grin and bear it.
Amber - posted on 11/04/2009
Ya, um, there is no such thing as alone time for me. LOL.. I mean, well, if I really, really push for it, then I can prob go and do something with a friend. But my husband is in the navy, and while his crew has the boat, i RARELY get to see him. :( BUT, every once in awhile he will tell me to go do something, but around here, ya, I dont know what to do, I live in a crappy town with nothing to do.. GOSH I MISS SAN DIEGO...
Karen - posted on 11/04/2009
SNAP!!! Its definitely dificult. My son has just turned 1 an sometimes he is sitting on my knee when im going to the loo( an no young man should grow up with that memory!!!) I cant afford childcare. im thinkin of joining a mum an toddler group just so i get to have some adult conversation. If you wud like to become buddies just add me as a friend as we are in the same boat an we can bitch about our circumstances together!
Stacey - posted on 11/04/2009
I have NO alone time either! My little boy is always by my side, I can't even go to the bathroom without him right there. He now showers with me most of the time. I very rarely get time alone after bed time cause most of the time I crash out getting him to sleep, he wakes up so early these days. And the weekends, HA, my husband gets to sleep in, not me! Men just do NOT understand that being a stay at home mom IS a full time job. From son up till son down!! It's not east. Tired mommy here!!
Jennifer - posted on 11/04/2009
Well, I am a stay at home mom of 4 boys (9, 7 ,4 & 17mths) but I'm not stressed out. It's my job, it's what I signed up for when I started having the kidsI No, I do not get as much ALONE time as I'd like, but they come first in my eyes.The ages have A LOT to do with your "no" free time. 18 mths and 5 mths require a lot of attention. When they are older....(2 1/2-3), you'll then appreciate that you had two; close in age, and they will entertain themselves and or each other. I hope you can hang in there...... Best Luck!
Jami - posted on 11/04/2009
Your not alone! I have only been a stay at home mom for the last year and a half and I have 3 kids: 4, 3 and 7months. I really miss my "me time" and have only found some time while my 4 year old is in PK for 3 hours 5 days a week I pick one of those days and have my mom in law watch the 2 younger ones for a short while just to get the grocery shopping done. Which to get more time I take my time.... Otherwise all 3 are pretty good about going to bed at the same time (8pm) which depending on hubbys work we can squeeze in some "us" time... some days are easier than others...
Cristina - posted on 11/04/2009
Yes! I can't even sleep through the night without one of my twins waking me to tell me their going potty or they had a nightmare. Even when they scream for "daddy" to come in he's sound asleep and of course I hear them calling...so Mommy to the rescue. I cannot use the bathroom or take a shower without them coming in to tell me another story or to show me what they drew or just to ask me what I'm doing. They are my shadows and even if I get an hour to run errands it is usually something that comes up for a phone call from my husband. You're definitely not alone...
April - posted on 11/04/2009
my god, yes. i can't even go to the bathroom by myself without having to take my son. he gets so upset in the pack and play that i can't pee! hope that wasnt TMI. oh well...he also won't nap. it is go go go until bed time at 8 pm. hes 10 months. he wakes up the second i lay him down (he falls asleep while nursing). he also nurses thru the night, so i am not alone at night either. it's literally 24-7
Marie - posted on 11/04/2009
I have three kids and my husband works 12hours a day, plus no family in the area so i dont get any time to myself. I will sometimes go into the bathroom and just sit in there for 5minutes just to have a few moments to myself. It seems like the only time I get alone is in between feedings at night when I'm sleeping! It is very hard, and at times overwhelming. Recently I started a small online website and it seems to be getting me those few minutes each day to focus on something other then my kiddos! And the great part about it is I can do it right in my living room, no baby sitters needed!
Stephanie - posted on 11/04/2009
I have four kids ages 5,3,22 months, and 4months and my biggest and best piece of advice for you is to maintain a schedule. I know you have probably heard that a million times, but it is the best thing you can do for YOU! Right now my three youngest are asleep. They do not get a choice in this! If they are not going to sleep that is fine, but they have to stay in their rooms for at least one hour. The one hour is mommy's time! Sometimes we moms forget that we are the parents and we are in charge, not the other way around. Does this work beautifully all of the time? Of course not, but if I can have at least an hour to myself 3-4 days a week it is worth the schedule fight! I also found that if they have a special snack or surprise waiting after naptime it is a great incentive. They will, at a very early age, associate the nap/quiet time with something special in the end. Makes the fights a lot less frequent!
Jessica - posted on 11/04/2009
Check and see if your town has a local MOPS group. It stands for Mothers Of Preschoolers. You kids need to be between the ages of 0-5. They normally meet twice a month and have people who watch your kids for you while you are having some mommy time. I found this group two years ago in my town. I have met tons of moms with kids the same age as mine and are going thru the same tough times.
Natalie - posted on 11/04/2009
Yes I do I have a 21 month old little boy and a 10 year old. I have the baby all the time. My husband works alot of hours and is never home and when he is he thinks he should be able to do what he wants because he works after all.(his words not mine)I can't even get a shower or go to the bathroom with out some one coming in and seeing what I'm doing. It drives me crazy!!!!! I forgot what it was like to be able to just go some where and not have to pack the house or say no no a hundred times. When I get the little one down I try to spend some one on one time with the older child and check homework and make sure he has everything for the next day I'm exausted. When the baby naps I try to rest and when we play blocks or color I turn on the dvr episondes of desperate house wives or what ever i taped from the night before so at least for a hour or so I kind of feel like I've had some me time.
Maz - posted on 11/04/2009
Alone time! Goodness me I forgot what that is, we get up in the morning, I take the eldest two to school, I get home and try to do the housework, but the baby has other ideas. So most of the time she is either attached to me (breast-feeding), fighting the spoon as I do the damnest to wean her, then when I finally get the laundry/washing up/hoovering done with her in the sling it's time to pick up the other two, then she very kindly sleeps while I feed my eldest two, help with homework and listen to them read and finally it is their bedtime and hey presto the baby wakes up and demands my undivided attention till about midnight when she very kindly lets me sleep till about 6 with only two wake-up calls in the night for a feed. Alone time, surely it's a myth!
Clara-Marie - posted on 11/04/2009
My trick is to get my husband, or sister, whoever to watch baby for an hour or two and go to the grocery store to do the shopping and I just zone right out and wander around look at magazines and make-up. It is relaxing and productive!!
Emily - posted on 11/04/2009
I have three kids. 5, 2 and 2 mo. The two older kids have eczema and food allergies which require a great deal of attention. My husband farms so he goes to work at 4:30AM and comes home at 7:00PM 7 days a week. There are many days that the kids don't see him at all. When we do see him he really is a great father and husband. Our home has a very high stress level and it is very hard to make it thorugh some days when the kids wake up at 5:30 and are crabby until bedtime. To keep the sanity in our home, I use a drop-in daycare service to get some relief. I generally send the kids for 1 day once a week (except the baby) and I use that day for me time and to run errands. Sometimes when I day isn't enough, I book the next day too. It costs a little extra pre month but he doesn't mind when I do it because he knows how important it is. After a good quiet day, I'm usually ready to tackle another action packed week. It's been a challenge being a stay-at-home mom, but in the end I think it will be worth every minute.