Keeping house clean when all I want to do is be with the kids. I need tips and advice b/c I get overwhelmed.

Colette - posted on 02/15/2009 ( 26 moms have responded )

20

14

4

I feel like my house is never clean. There's dirty dishes to be put in the dishwasher but it's full of clean ones that need to be put away, there's clean clothes and dirty clothes in the same dilemma, the floor needs to be vacuumed, the trash taken out, bills to be paid, diaper bags and coats and shoes all over the place, toys here and there and the list goes on. After the kids are in bed I work so hard to get it cleaned up and by the time I go to bed way too late, it's looking good. The next evening it's the same story and weekends are even worse. What do you do to help with the mess/clutter/chores? Do you have any good ideas to share so it doesn't build up into one hard to tackle project. I try to make a daily chore list for myself and my husband. I have a 3 year old and 8 month old. I just feel like I don't want to take the time to clean when I could be spending time with them. The days fly by and I easily feel guilty for time not spent with the kids! Please help with good tips and advice!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Melissa - posted on 02/16/2009

85

3

7

I also have a 3 yr old & an 8 mo old. I work part time from home 2 days a week & holeschool the 3 yr old 3 days a week. I feel the same way. Nothing seems to ever get done. I started having my 3 yr old help. He keeps his stuff picked up in the parts of the house that are seen by others. I don't worry about his bedroom that much. I do the dishes every night right after dinner. I found that if I put the clean ones up while I'm cooking & start loading the dirty ones that I am more likely to finish this each night. I also vacuum the living room & sweep the kitchen daily. My 8 month old is constantly on the floor in the areas & I don't want her getting anything in her mouth. As for the rest of the cleaming I clean twice a week. I work on Mon & Thurs. I do laundry on Tues & Fri (3 loads a day). I clean my house on Wed & Sat( I try to do half one day & the other half the other day). This has helped me not feel so overwelmed. Hope this helps.

Kerri - posted on 02/15/2009

134

19

21

Oh my gosh girl, you just described my entire existence.  I always feel like I am behind.  When I get ahead on one thing I get behind on another.  I have learned to just not be so hard on myself.  Do as much as I can and let that be that.  I do chore lists for me!  I have a laundry schedule.  My kids unload and reload the dishes on the weekends so I dont have to.  I spend at least 30 minutes running around, literally running, doing as much as I can.  Just do as much as you can when you can and don't sweat the rest!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

26 Comments

View replies by

Malinda - posted on 02/19/2009

40

0

20

I used to do things when the kids went to bed, but some days I was too tired. Lately, I have the kids help (which keeps them busy while I do other things). My 19 month old has become the biggest helper, which encourages the 3-year-old to pitch in. They both run the little sweeper and mop the kitchen. They both do most of the dusting, and they help clean the lower half of the windows and entertainment center. Usually while they are dusting, I can clean a bathroom. I have also recently hired a young babysitter. She just received her Red Cross Babysitting certificate, so I don't leave her alone yet, but one day. She plays with the kids for $5 once a week, so I can give one floor a thorough cleaning.



I never really stress out about not getting things done, I just do my best. Sometimes it is frustrating (like laundry is always backed up since the kids would rather play in it than help), but oh well.

Summer - posted on 02/19/2009

6

1

0

Honestly honey, I know times are tough, but treat yourself to having a cleaning service come once or twice a month so you can relax and enjoy your kiddies! I was having a problem keeping up with housework with my 4 month old because she seems to never sleep to give me the opportunity to clean. Finally one night I came to my husband frustrated because I had a sink full of dishes, a mound of laundry, pillow fluff all over the floor from the dog disintegrating it, and a screaming baby. We decided to budget for a housekeeper twice a month. It's been the best investment ever!

Chrissy - posted on 02/19/2009

41

6

9

I am a very tidy person. I was always cleaning, or doing something aroung the house, My mother-in-law told me one day, that the house will always be there, but the kids won't be little forever!! There has been times I will just about to runthe sweeper, and one of my kids would ask to go to the park. I would put the sweeper back in the closet, and we would go to the park. My oldest son will be 7 next week, I have a 4 yr ols, and my daughter is 10 months old. TIme FLIES!!! So, I do have a schedule, and try to do the same things at the same time everyday. Organization is key too. Enjoy your beautiful babies, One day they are going to want to be with their friends, and we will have all that time to "catch-up"...:D

Colette - posted on 02/19/2009

20

14

4

thanks again for all the tips/advice.  i'm realizing that i have to be tremendously diligent in cleaning up as i go and putting things away as we go.  a little at a time.  i think i was getting overwhelmed when i wouldn't pickup or cleanup all day because of not wanting to say no to playing and taking care of my kids.  By the time they were in bed my house was a disaster except for the toys we had them put away.  I guess I haven't been patient enough either, to let my 3 year old help.  He does everything slow and I just figured it'd be faster for me to do it later.  The past few days I've been practicing more patience and allowing enough time for him to do clean up all on his own.  I see the importance like always, but now I'm following through.  I know I've said it before, but it is nice to know there are other mom's in the same boat.

JoAnna - posted on 02/17/2009

43

12

9

Hi LOL Im with ya there sista! I have chronic ilnesses and so doing everyday projects is almost impossile I have a month and 1/2  year old son and a 3 1/2 year old and try my best to be on a sheduale day to day wash and kitchen one day and so forth, My 3 1/2 year old loves to help and I encourage him to do so , he empties the dishwasher and cleans up all his toys and since I use all organic and natural cleaners he loves to spray bottle the wood floor and clean as much as he can , he even helps me cook! I plan out all my meals for the day on Sunday night and I have an inventory of my pantry so I find I can stay on my very tight buget and only have to run into town once a week if need be for grocerys I also buy in bulk when I can, I know cooking can be hard my son and I have food allergies and I have to cook special foods as well.



  Remember dont feel guilty you are doing the best you can. I know about late nights and early morning though . Take heart!!!



 



Best Wishes JoAnna

Stef - posted on 02/17/2009

28

8

1

wow...the woes of us women!!!! i feel the SAME way everyday. Is there really a way to catch up? I feel like when i stay up late to get the house put back together...its messy before my son is even off to school in the morn?!?!? I think the only way for me to feel like Im in control is to break to chores up through out the day. Quick kitchen clean after breakfast. While my daughter is bathing...I clean up the bathroom. Nap time is living room...just to get destroyed in 2 hours! Its the only thing that works in our house. I have also had to try and teach myself that a mess is not the end of the world. Our children wont remember a perfectly clean home..just a happy one :)

Rachel - posted on 02/17/2009

13

9

4

I had a really hard time reconciling with the cleaning instead of playing with the kids thing too. I have a two year old and a three year old and I finally realized that it was important for them that sometimes I stopped playing and said "Mommy has work to do." It has helped them learn to entertain themselves and learn to be independent , without constanly being entertained. As a former teacher, I see MAJOR value in that! It also teaches them that stuff doesn't just "get done," someone actually has to do it. My kids now love to help (especially my 3 year old). He helps me load and unload the dishwasher, clean off the table, fold clothes, etc. It makes him feel important and part of the family. They need to see and learn that life isn't all about play, but that sometimes people have responsibilites that they have to take care of. Getting organized is also the key. I go through their toys about every 2-3 months and doante things they don't play with. If it is broken, missing pieces, etc.. we don't keep it! The less we have, the easier it is to clean. I also labeled baskets in my son's room (cars, trains, dinsousaurs, etc.) with words and pictures so it is easier for him to clean up on his own. It has become a part of our nightly routine: dinner, bath, clean room, show, bed.

All that being said :) I think it is also important to realize that when you have small children your house will never be (or at least stay) perfect. So do what you can, when you can and don't stress when things aren't straight or perfect because some days it just isn't getting done! Hope this helps!

Lindsay - posted on 02/17/2009

16

7

0

I am so relieved to hear that I am not the only one who experiences this kind of overwhelming stress!! I clean when my 2 month old is napping and have try very hard to remind myself that I am only one person and my home is not going to be in a museum like condition like I am used to! I also make my husband accountable for picking up after himself, which, really helps a lot.

Colette - posted on 02/17/2009

20

14

4

thanks melissa b.  its nice to hear someone in the same boat.  baby hasn't started crawling but already she's all over the floor and everything in the mouth!  my 3 year old is a big helper but it is hard when i don't keep up and things start getting piled up.  i just think its a never ending cycle and i am just trying to keep up :)

Sonya - posted on 02/17/2009

247

35

37

Quoting Maggie:

my mother always said .. a tidy house is a sign of a wasted life. least u have a dish washer :)


I need to write this one down for inspiration, and also to tell my DH and in-laws!!!!
It always seems i am torn between activities and cleaning, a daily task, let alone working out and bills and, and and and.......



I could send them to daycare, get a job, and i am betting my house would be cleaner, but i wouldnt be happier!!! I love being at home with my kids!!!

Amanda - posted on 02/17/2009

37

20

3

Have your 3 year old help you with easy things like cleaning up toys. Make it fun for him/her and maybe youll get more help. I try this with my 2 year old and she helps sometimes but not all the time. Also making a daily chore chart helps to. Tacke the bigger jobs when your husband is nome to help you witht he cleaning or watching the kids. Sometimes starting earlier in the day will help too anthough i know i like to sleep if i can insteadd of cleaning.

Donna - posted on 02/16/2009

38

57

2

i know im probably repeating what other people have said... But try to do one thing a day.... Eg. the dishes... or washing.



I tend to do the washing and the dishes while the kids are playing or in the bath...and pick up the kids toys and art stuff when they go to bed... as i see it if you have a clean kitchen and living room that should all be all that matters... Spend the time you have with the kids enjoy them while there young..



Or write a list of things you want done... (small things) and if you get half the list done then be happy with it...  Dont over tire yourself...

Colette - posted on 02/16/2009

20

14

4

thanks for all the great advice.  mostly, it's just nice to know i am not alone.  there's a few things i haven't thought of, a few i have but have been too slow to put into motion and i thank you for all of them!  i worry about them growing up too fast the most!  i don't want to waste my time cleaning when i could be playing but then it builds and builds and i feel like it takes even more time.  anyway, thanks again!!

Maggie - posted on 02/16/2009

8

70

1

my mother always said .. a tidy house is a sign of a wasted life. least u have a dish washer :)

Tracy - posted on 02/16/2009

88

18

6

One thing a time, and if you dont get to it, then you dont get to it! I usually do the dishes/kitchen while the boys are eating their meals at that time. I do the living room when they are napping (not worth it any other time) If i can fold clothes during that time, then i will do it too. Bathroom is done while they are bathing, since we're in there already.  My monkeys are great tornados!!  good luck! (try to have/make DH help you as best as you/he can!-it may not be the way youd do it, but if its getting done, then its done!!)

Amanda - posted on 02/16/2009

10

25

2

make cleaing up into a game my 3 year old loves tidying his bedroom wen he thinks we playing and his 18 month old sister copies wot he does, clean when the children in bed or ask partner or friend to have kids for hour or so while you catch up on house work, if all this fails then take kids out visitin friends, family or park then they wont make much mess at home coz they not there to do it.

Cheralee - posted on 02/16/2009

74

28

6

Check out flylady.net. I recently found this sight as a new SAHM and have adjusted her techniques to fit my family. I really cannot express how much her simple concepts and working on my house 15 min at a time have helped with my sanity to develop routines that fit the cleaning in. I am far from having it all figured out, but this site definitely helped me to find a place to start.

[deleted account]

It will get better as they get older, but it's still overwhelming! It sounds like you're on the right track. Make a list, do what you can but please, please, please let all the guilt go! You can never get all the chores done, you will always want to spend that time with you kids and you can't feel guilty if you don't. Just remember that they only want time with you, they don't care if the clothes are folded.



http://www.lazymoms.com



 

Liana - posted on 02/16/2009

208

14

21

Lol I recently felt the same my kids are 5 and 3 and I'm 7 months pregnant so I got my mum to have the kids for a couple of days while the other half and I did a major clean up.  Then I created a list of jobs that need doing everyday regardless which I try to do as much as possible as soon as I get up other than things like washing up which can wait till the kids are in bed.  I tick off what I've done so I know whats left. 



I also have a list of jobs that need doing on a weekly basis that really don't need doing everyday I pick one or two things off that list to do each day and a list of things that only really need doing once a month that way I can keep track of everything thats been done and it isn't as stressfull my partner can look at the list see whats left to do and get on with it.



It is so much more managable now and if some days I miss something it's not to bad because I'm not so behind with everything.  My kids are at a stage wherethey can help a little they make their own beds and we make a game of tidying up twice a day I'm sure your 3 year old could do the same.



Just remember your house doesn't have to look like a showhome there is a difference between it being untidy and being dirty you have 2 kids and ones a baby so don't feel to bad housework is never ending and will always be there your kids wont be so try to relax and play don't feel so bad you are only human :)



Hope I've been a help and things get better for you.

Leslie - posted on 02/15/2009

19

27

0

I want to say thanks to all of you.  It's good to know when you're not alone!!  I have a 5 yr old and a 3 yr old.  My husband is a youth/assoc. pastor and is gone a lot.  Most of the house work and taking care of the kids falls on me.  It's so easy to get overwhelmed by it all.  I'm trying to heed the advice of so many women now, and let the dishes go a little longer while I spend time with the little ones.  Don't stress too much.  I've been there for the last couple of years and honestly, it's not worth the guilt I feel for neglecting time with my babies!  I'll be learning right along with you!!

Jeny McKinsey- - posted on 02/15/2009

11

24

0

I make a chore list as well. There are things that need done everyday, then things that need done just once a week etc...If I stick to it then it's good, but if I goof off a little too much with the kiddo's then I just stay awake a little bit longer to get it done. Just remember, the people who have spotless houses and have children probably have maids or nanny's!!!

Lea - posted on 02/15/2009

70

13

21

I would also recommend your children help out with the chores. My two year old helps to unload the dishwasher, pick up toys, pick up the couch pillows, etc.. My four year old helps his older sister to mop the bathroom floors twice a week, empty trash, pick up toys, etc.. They also help out with the meals which then becomes one-on-one time with mom. They are not too young to start being helpers and then it doesn't all fall on you. I felt the same way after my fifth child. There were just not enough hours in the day to get everything done. Now everyone that is school age does their own laundry.
Make my life much easier. I figure if they are helping to create the mess, they can surely help to clean it up! My toddlers even help with the laundry sometimes!

Mackensey - posted on 02/15/2009

2

6

0

I have a room i tackle every day such as kitchen on monday, bathrooms tues, living room wed, etc.  I do this during naps in the afternoon; my husbands only chore is to empty the dishwasher every morning before he goes to work which makes loading it throughout the day very convenient.  Each night we set the timer for 30 minutes after the baby (11months) goes to bed and me, dh, & my 3yr old all help pick up til the timer goes off.  I feel like I have control even if things aren't perfect.  Hope this helps and oon't worry to much, kids are only little once and your house will be clean eventually.

Chrissy - posted on 02/15/2009

26

9

2

Clean when the kids are asleep or napping...You might get tired but your house might not seem so bad during the day :)

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms