Mad at the world and hanging by a thread...

Christy - posted on 05/18/2011

Jodi,
If I could be there, I'd give you a big hug and let you cry. I've been in a similar situation. I know what it's like. I won't go into details about my story because today it's not about me.

First of all, go get on your knees and thank the good Lord that your babies are alive and getting help. Then pour out your soul to Him. Ask Him to help lift your burden. Do this every day at least once.

As for your milk, that's a tough one. I rebelled and didn't pump every two hours. The hospital got what I gave them and they supplemented the rest. However, drink as much water as you can, and put hot packs on your boobs to help increase your milk flow. Using the hot packs before you pump will help. I used hot packs all day and holy cow I got a lot more milk after not having enough.

Don't call your mom if she's going to call other people and tattle on you. BUT, do call your mom and ask her for help. She should be at your house helping with laundry and dishes and giving you a nap.

Remember that the hospital workers are there for your babies, not for you. They are going to demand everything of you you're willing to give and then some. If you can't be there exactly when they want you there, tough. They'll get over it. Fact of the matter is, you'll be there as much as you can. You need sleep. During the night, just get up once to pump, maybe twice if your milk is actually pressuring you.

It's totally okay to lean on your neighbors and friends. Let them help you. That's what friends are for.

It's normal for the two year old to regress in every direction after babies are born. Crying habits and bedtimes can be fixed. Be patient with the little one and practice the desired behaviors. They'll come back later when things settle down. That two year old needs some fun and love from mommy.

Prayer and sleep will help you feel better. Then turn on some fun music for you while you're at home dealing with the mess. Don't stress over the mess. One day at a time.

I wish I could be there to help you,
Christy
mother of 4!

Kylie - posted on 02/09/2011

i have twin cousins, they wre very early too, my aunt talks about just abut everything you just said. in the end she told people that the drs said even when the babies were home they were too frail to see people, only my nana and pop, and her husbands parents were allowed to see them for the first 12 weeks after they got home. she also said the worst moments of her life were when she had to leave them each night at the hospital. you might be able to keep people at bay take some pics of the girls, and put them on facebook or similar. and then tell people the drs recomend that the bulk of people stay away. even when they come home, that way people can "see" the girls, and give you a break from pestering. it does sound like your at yout stress limit. remember you need to try and give yourself a break, do the bare minimum and just leave the rest for a few days, you need a break too!

Julie - posted on 02/09/2011

Make a schedule of what you need done and ASK FOR HELP. Most people want to know what to do to help a parent of twins, and if it means, hey can you come Tuesday and help fold laundry or Freeze some meals or help sweep the floors - Perhaps designate the list to someone you know will get things done,,,You are not alone! And being stressed will effect your milk production. Best Wishes-

Angie - posted on 02/09/2011

Congratulations on your twins! What an amazing blessing. I too am a mother of twins - boy/girl. I am sorry things are so stressful right now and it is wonderful to have a place to vent. My twins were 6 weeks early as well, but I went into labor 2 weeks prior to that and received meds in the hospital so we did not have the NICU experience. The one thing I can speak to is when your girls are ready to come home. You are wise to want that time to yourself. It is my one regret from when we brought our twins home. My Mother-in-law (who I typically am fine with and my husband's cousin) drove 6 hours to be with us on our first night home. It was a disaster and not good for any of our relationships. I was exhausted and while their visit was with the best of intentions - excitment to meet these precious children, it did not go well. I like things calm and orderly and suddenly I had house guests, and other visitors. I felt like everyone else was in control of my life, but me. So, my advice is to politely lay down the law: Since you have another child, you could always say, since the twins have been in the hospital, it is really important for us to have the first couple days at home to bond as a family. We will be so excited for you to come visit on "X" date. Once they are home, if you need help, ask for it, but on your terms - not theirs. After the initial visit from family, I wised up and laid down the law and all went well. Good luck. Get your rest and while very frustrating, the laundry will be waiting and it will be that way for years. My twins are 9.5. I can't believe how quickly the time has flown and being a twin mom is an awesome blessing in and of itself. You are in for a real treat to witness the amazing bond and relationship. My husband did get up in the middle of the night and feed a twin with me. We took turns who fed which one each night. I tried breastfeeding, but never could get them interested or sucking enough to produce enough milk. If breastfeeding works out - awesome, if not, it will be okay. My twins have been very healthy. Keep your head up, it will get better.

Ashley - posted on 02/08/2011

You have a lot on your plate! I really hope things get better for you and your family! Ill deff say a prayer for you tonight!

Casey - posted on 02/08/2011

awwww you poor bugger I wish I could help you, if I were you I would just explain to everyone in your family that the doctors are still not letting the girls have visitors yet due to germs and stuff but.... if they really would like to get involved then you are looking for any help at all around the house more then likely they will all want to help you, eve if you can get one person to come to your house each day for an hour or two just to make the beds do a load of washing and unpack and repack the dishwasher or even just vaccum and pick up the toys for you.
Don't try and do it all cause not only are you having to cope with a 2 year old and two babies in hospital but your also recovering from major surgery and the hormones that come along with being a new mum, so when people ask what can they do or weather they can help you need to take them up on it and put them to work, hang in there it's going to get better :)

Chrystal - posted on 02/08/2011

I'm so sorry and I hope things get better for you:)

Jennifer - posted on 02/08/2011

So sorry you're going through such a trying time. It may feel like you're drowning right now but you will get it all back under control (the mess, your almost 2 yr. old's behavior & schedule, etc.)... it will take time, maybe lots of it.. but you actually sound like you're doing an amazing job despite the many challenges & stresses. As for your fam, people can sometimes be somewhat selfish & inconsiderate/insensitive about the needs of a mom with a new baby (or two). But you are right to set the rules for your own family & limiting visitors for any new baby should be understood & respected. Just try to keep in mind the comments/jokes about wanting to see them before they're a year old come are just peoples' way of showing they love you and them and are excited about your new additions and just want to be a part of the experience. Once the bubs are home, maybe you could allow a visitor or two once in a while IF that visitor is up for helping you get some things done around the house! lol Try not to be afraid to ask for help. I know how hard it was for me when I first had my daughter (only a month ago) and suddenly had her and my also almost 2 yr old son (will be 2 June 1st) to take care of plus a messy apartment and my body was far far from healed at all so just moving was tough. People without kids can't fully understand (they can imagine but it's not quite the same as having lived it) and even people who HAVE had kids forget pretty quickly how difficult these early days with a new babe can be for the mom. Kudos to you for coming on here and reaching out for some sympathetic ears. Sometimes all you need is some understanding and encouragement to get through. Anyways just wanted say keep up the good work. You're going to get into the groove of things. Just give yourself time and if you can ask for help, do it. I went home to stay with my parents for weeks after I had mine. It was a godsend. We're back at our own place now and things have been going so smoothly... it's a complete turnaround from when I came home from the hospital... thank you God!
One last thing, for the breastfeeding issue... I had lots of problems with it when I had my son.. but I managed to do it for 13-14 months with problem after problem all the way through. I didn't really want to do it this time but ended up doing it anyway. But turns out it's been so much easier this time. The difference wasn't the baby or me... it's a herbal supplement called "Lecithin"... works like a charm for helping the milk flow better. I had a lot of problems with plugged milk ducts last time and this time I started to again but went out and got Lecithin to try it out and as long as I remember to take 2 or 3 a day, no more problems! Highly recommend it!

Goodluck with everything and congrats on the new babies! Twins would be a challenge but double the blessing and cuteness too. :)
Take care!

Rebecca - posted on 02/07/2011

if you don't want advise, then I will respect that. Just know there are other mums out there, like me who empathise. Vent away, that's what we are here for. I will be thinking of you ((((Hugs))))

Christina - posted on 02/07/2011

I feel for you and am very sorry to hear what you are going threw. I two had my second although only a single birth child in the NICU it was the longest 22 days of my life. I completely understand finding someone to take care of the older child... Have you looked into Ronald McDonald houses? there was one not even a block from where my daughter was born and they let me and my son stay there so I could go to her feedings and be close to her since i lived over an hour away from the hospital. It really helped and being near other families that were experiencing the same thing made a big difference. GOD BLESS YOU AN YOUR FAMILY hunny

Amanda - posted on 02/07/2011

MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! I wish I could be a bouncer at the hospital and help you around the house!!!!!! I think you should have the right to be selfish with youre new babies. You have to think how many weeks of pregnancy bonding time youre missing! Lay down the rules and TELL EVERYONE WHOS BOSS!!! When them babies come home dont let anyone over and if theyre going to come over hand them a mop and say get cleaning ive got babies to take care of!! LOL! You should be proud of yourself. When my friend had a c section she expected to lay around and have everyone do everything for her and she didnt have any older kids!!!! And even tho its been 5 months since her c section she still says she cant clean house!!!!!!! You seem like a tough chick!!!!! I hope things get better for ya!!! Good luck!!!

Eileen - posted on 02/07/2011

I empathize with you. Twelve years ago, I had a 4yo, a singleton preemie, a lot of the same complaints! Add to that a husband who decided that alcohol could solve his problems. I was in the hospital and out of my mind with worry for the 4yo, because no family was near enough to take care of her!

Consider this a hug and a pat and a "there, there, I understand".

Jennifer - posted on 02/07/2011

Uggh! Sounds terrible! I can't believe you came home from the hospital after a c-section and cleaned. That would've sent me flying off the cliff of anger. You gotta kick that hubby of yours in the behind and tell him to start doing some cooking and cleaning. You NEED to rest..if you overdo it you could seriously hurt yourself and end up back in the hospital! Plus, if you're stressed out and unable to relax you definitely won't be able to produce enough milk. As for the rest of your family, ignore them. If none of them have had a LO in the hospital they are never going to understand where you're coming from. Just put your foot down and say NO visitors until you're good and ready. They can be pissed all they want..they will get over it I promise! Either that or tell them if they want to see the babies they need to come help you with the housekeeping..and be serious about it. That will probably change their tune. This is all about you and the babies...don't worry about anybody else

Lisa - posted on 02/07/2011

I think with everything you're doing just fine and you're entitled to your feelings. We just had our third baby and it was by scheduled c-section. Our first two, everyone was at the hospital and my second was an emergency c-section. It made me sad that so many people got to see my baby before I did. I told hubby that this time, no one was to be at the hospital until after I was out of recovery and had time to meet my baby. We were just firm with that and if they didn't like that then that was something they had to deal with.

When people "joke" that they'd like to see the babies before they turn 1, laugh and say, "Yeah well I'd like to see my kitchen counters again. How about we do a trade. You come do my dishes and When the babies comes home, the house will actually be clean enough to accept visitors!!"

Or just plain out tell them that you need help around the house. Tell your mom, I'm frustrated and I would really love it if you or my sister could come help me clean this afternoon. Have a list of things ready and tackle them. Or take a nap while they clean your house.

Lots of hugs to you and your babies!!

Liz - posted on 02/07/2011

I'm glad things are going better, and hope they stay that way. Also hope your girls are home soon! I can completely relate to you. My b/g twins were born six weeks early via an emergency c-section. Although I didn't have another child at the house at the time I can only imagine what that would be like.

Just try and take it easy, and keep people helping out with you. You need your rest for when the girls do come home. My son was home after eight days at a discharge weight of four pounds eight ounces, and my daughter was home after twelve days at a discharge weight of four pounds one ounce.

They will be three in June and you can't tell they were preemies. Also have a son that will be one in July. Take each day at a time and enjoy them they grow up too quickly!

Rachel - posted on 02/07/2011

Oh wow. You brought me to tears for you. It just plain old SUCKS that you are going through all of this alone. You are a very strong woman to be able to keep going through all of this. I hope things turn around for you.

Bethany - posted on 02/07/2011

wow, thank goodness for Circle of Moms hey! Sounds as if you have alot of balls in the air and someone's poking you with a stick.



And after a caesar too!



Good grief. Seems like only time will heal these issues. Alot of dust to settle. I've never been under as much stress as you are now. And if I was, at least I know my husband would be behind the scenes doing the groceries, washing up, doing laundry and making everyone coffees, like he did with our daughter for the first 3 weeks.



I feel it's a bit of a hunker down time for you, and you can only do one thing at a time. You don't need advice, you need a time machine (and a fire to put under your husbands butt!)



I'm glad you've had some wins this week. Stress is a real baddy for breastfeeding.



Remember, a lovely shower need not take more than 5 or 10 minutes, to soap up and run lovely water through your hair and then to dress. Gift it to yourself each day, set a timer and shut the door some time in the day, morning or night, when your husband is home and present. Use lovely smelling body wash, sit down if you need to. Take fresh clothes into the bathroom with you and exit ready to go another round.



You poor thing.

Catherine - posted on 02/06/2011

Enjoy your girls and everyone else needs to step back or step up and be helpful make them relaeaise that this is hard enough without all the othe things people like to pile on top of an already hard and stressful situation

Meher - posted on 02/06/2011

Hi Jodi, I read it and think you had every right to vent and can completely understand your frustration, good to know that things have improved slightly for you and for the better, good luck!

Randie - posted on 02/06/2011

O my gosh Jodi...I am so glad to listen to you vent your problems and then look below and see that everything got better and everything turned around for you. I'm betting that this makes a lot of people feel that no matter what the problem is, no matter how bad your life gets, there is always something you can do to make it better! So glad to hear your happy ending. I myself am in a couple of bad situations. I know in my heart things will get better soon. It's just a matter of dealing with my stress day by day until it gets better! :)

hope everything stays in place for you!

Sarah - posted on 02/06/2011

I know exactly how you feel.

Jodi - posted on 02/06/2011

Well, after a not-so-pretty meltdown (more like an adult sized temper tantrum!) my husband is helping around the house, with the aid of a list, but he's getting it done!!! I spoke to my mom to ask her to help me weed through the laundry mess and general clean up while my dad watched my daughter and to let my sisters and anyone who asked know that there will be no visitors until we say...and that we WILL let them know when it's okay to come by!! My husband made the same request to his mother and siblings. Yeah, they're dissapointed, but the relief I feel is SOOOO worth it! I've been able to rest more and, surprise surprise, my milk supply is on the up and up! To top off my weekend...One of my girls is expected home by mid week and the doctors wouldn't be surprised if the other came home by the end of the week!!!!

I really want to thank you ladies for all your advice and support, but most importantly, just for your non-judgemental listening. I'm not super mom, even though we all try to be, but sometimes, it's better not to try when you need to just focus on one day at a time. Thank you thank you thank you, our journey isn't over yet and I'm sure there will be more frustrations to come, but for now, I can breath again!

Celeste - posted on 02/06/2011

Ah isnt it sad how sometimes the most inconsiderate people in our lives are our nearest and dearest!?! When we need them most too! You definately need to speak your mind, and get the help you deserve. I cant say that I have been there, but I truely wish you all the strength and happiness in the world. I hope your little Angels are home with you very soon and that *calm* settles over your life again. All the best x

Tracy - posted on 02/05/2011

Ask all those people who want to come see your baby, to give you a hand at home for an hour or 2. Perhaps you could have a shower, a nap or rest. A section, I had 4 of them, they arent the easiest thing to recover from. So really you should be taking it kinda easy, not try and save the world in a day!
Keep this in mind, one day at a time....you and kids first, everything else just comes after that. Do what you can do, and dont stress about what your not doing. Embrace what you are doing, you just birthed 2 more miracles, be proud!

Kelly - posted on 02/05/2011

Ditto to what the other ladies have said. You sound like a great mom, and I know you are going to do great. I never had twins, and I never had a preemie, but I can sympathize with you. Try really hard not to worry about the house and laundry. Just do what absolutely has to be done, and don't be afraid to ask your hubby for help. Maybe he just can't see the forest for the trees (most men can't) and just needs you to point out the priorities, like enough clean clothes to get everyone through the next day :) ... as for the visitors, you have every right to limit them. You have the perfect excuse, if you don't want to step on toes. As the one poster said, just be firm in the fact that ya'll need time as a family to adjust when they come home, and they have to be protected from germs until they are a little bigger, and just don't worry about it ticking people off. I'm betting not one of the people hassling you about this, has twins, right? They haven't been in your shoes. Just breathe, rest, focus, and love your kids. That is all you should have to worry about right now. Good luck to you--I will be praying for you!!

Clara - posted on 02/05/2011

Relax!!! Just keep that this to will pass,and it will get some well needed rest,You are doing just fine

Leisel - posted on 02/05/2011

What a great vent! Would it be weird to print that out and hand it out to your family and friends?

Diana - posted on 02/04/2011

Hi Jodi, I'll start by saying I don't know what your going through, but I sympathize with your situation. It's amazing that you haven't just curled up in a ball somewhere. That alone tells me you are an amazingly strong woman! I have 4 kids with middle ones being twins, but was nowhere near your situation. I was wondering if you have contacted a local twins/multiples group? I did and they were a God send. They helped with meals, and probably could help you with the mess around the house. They also will have members who went through what you and your girls are dealing with.
On breastfeeding, this I understand. I worked hard with my first to get enough milk to nurse, but with the twins nothing I did gave me enough to nurse them both and from the beginning I suplimented with formula and by 4 months I dried up completely. They are 8 yrs now and you can't even tell. :) I hope your girls are home with you soon. It sounds like they are getting a fabulous mom!!!! Feel free to contact me about life with twins or just to vent.

Joy - posted on 02/04/2011

Ohhh Jodi, I so wish I could help you right now. Just reading your post brought tears to my eyes because I can feel your frustration with it all. For one thing, screw the household chores. Don't look at the big picture for now. Just concentrate on one thing at a time, one room at a time, hell, one square foot at a time, if that's what you have to do. I know it's frustrating though, to know what has to be done and to see mountains everywhere you look. It feels like no matter what you do, it's an uphill struggle. The only thing that works for me (most of the time) is to just concentrate on one thing at a time.



As for everyone wanting to see the babies? I say, when you bring them home from the hospital, turn off the ringers on your phones, lock the doors, put a sign outside that says "DO NOT DISTURB" and take a few days, a week, however long you need to look at, touch, hold your babies. YOUR babies. The rest of the world can wait. And keep venting here. I do it all the time in one of my groups and it is sometimes the only thing that keeps me hanging on by that thread....

(((GIANT HUGS))) and if you need to, you can PM me to vent as well.



Edited to add: Oh, one more thing! Don't be afraid to ask for help. This is a big stumbling block for me because I always feel like I can do it ALL. I had to learn the hard way how to let go of my pride and ask for the help I so desperately needed. Someone else suggested making a list for your husband. Great idea. I would also recruit your mom to help around the house, at least until you get it back under control. You'd be killing two birds with one stone there....she'd probably be happy to feel needed AND you'd get a clean house. It might also distract her from the gossiping and drama queen behavior lol

Sarah - posted on 02/04/2011

Hey there, I went through the same thing with my first baby. :) It is such a hard time of adjusting...family wants to be there 24/7, mother in law constantly wanting to visit etc...Tell them if they want to come over you have a long list of chores for them. The best thing for you right now is SLEEP. If you aren't getting enough sleep you won't produce milk and you won't be able to handle all the stress. Have husband organize meals through your family (that will keep them busy)...let the house go for now, and focus on you ,and your babies. Husband will get sick of the mess, and start to clean :) Hang in there you are a great mom!

Katherine - posted on 02/04/2011

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Take it day by day.Ask your husband for more help or have your family come by to help out with the housework because its obviously too much for you considering you are going through alot with your girls.
I totally get both sides want to see your girls but do yourself a favor and sit them down wether by phone or inperson and explain to them that this ahs beena long journey just to get my girls here and i still am going through alot with them being the hospital. I need that mommy daughter time with my babies for the first few days(weeks) until we have our routine down and i am comfortable having them at home and life doesnt seem like it is falling in around me.
It does need to be addresses for your own sanity.
i pray that everything goes well with your babies and things get eassier on you. :)

Nayuribe - posted on 02/04/2011

oh sweety! pardon my french but the hell with everybody!!! just say "the girls aren't ready for visitors, give them a couple of weeks and we'll see how they doing and if and when u may come. thank you for asking about them though, bye bye!" then hang up, and get on with your day. you deserve whatever time u want with your kids!!!

Laura - posted on 02/04/2011

All the other girls said pretty much what I would say to I'll just send some virtual hugs your way and prayers for you to keep your sanity and that your girls get to come home soon. Good Luck Sweetie!!

Michelle - posted on 02/04/2011

Good luck and I hope things get better! Don't be afraid to stand your ground about your twins. You need to let your husband know he has to help. My husband doesn't clean anything in our house either and for the most part it is because he is busy with work (up to 80 hour work weeks and frequently out of town), but in a situation like yours a husband needs to find a way to make it work (and get up and help). What you have is an overload of stress. You need to talk to people and let them know what you need to help relieve some of it. I hope you get the help that you need to get through this. Try to make a little time for yourself if you can. It would help a lot (although I understand that's only possible if you're getting the support you need). Good luck!

Erica - posted on 02/04/2011

Your story brought tears to my eyes! I'm amazed at the lack of compassion your family has for you! Your twins are in the NICU and they are only worried about when they get to see them. How dare they! You also need to talk to that husband of yours. He think's he's tired from work but has no I dea what your mind and body just went through! Tell him to get his ass in gear and clean that dang house! I'm so so sorry what your going through. I agree with you it doesn't sound like PPD just freaking family not doing what they should! Good luck sweetie I hope things get better. And your mom could be helping the only way she knows how.

Jodi - posted on 02/04/2011

Thanks Ladies, I know I need to speak up a bit more (more than my little suggestions and passive aggressive comments lol), I just wish they could stop and think about how all of this is treating us and be a little patient, understanding and sympathetic *without* me having to say anything.

As my mother used to say (before she got a job and went all gossipy and drama-queen on us!!!! lmbo) "This too shall pass, in the meantime, we survive." Thanks again for "listening", I really just needed to get it all out to someone who wasn't biased!

Heather - posted on 02/04/2011

One step at a time. :) You sound like supermom to start if it is any consolation. I can relate about the stuff piling up. When I went to the hospital to have my son ( my first ) We came home to a nightmare. ( my house is relatively clean in the first place ) My husband works days so it was me left alone in the middle of the house not knowing where to start. People didn't seem to understand that I wanted time to adapt to being a mom and not 12,000 people visiting. I get that he is new but will still be new next week too. MY midwife gave me the best advice. Turn off your phone, change your answering machine to " We understand you want to visit but right now our girls just got home and we need time to adapt to life with twins! Visits will commence shortly we swear!" and put a note on the door that says although you understand that new baby smell is awesome, please come back next week, we are adapting to life at home with twins! And don't answer the door to anyone. Then take life one step at a time. I did what seemed like 37 loads of laundry but the great thing about the machine is that you can load it and walk away.. and inlaws are crazy I get that... mine are nuts certifiable. And it sucks to think that they can do whatever they want and send your daughter home. Inlaws just suck like that. You are awesome for even letting your daughter stay with them I would rather let my kid play in traffic because I firmly believe my mother in law will end up killing him. She came before the dinosaurs... seriously. One second my son wants mommy hugs... She leaves open medication out where my son can reach it and chain smokes more than Fidel Castro... Just breathe.. things will get done it just might take awhile and life before you know it will get back to normal. And Congrats by the way :) You are supermom and life always gets better for super heroes now go put on your super hero cape and chase your kid around the room :) HUGS!

Nicole - posted on 02/03/2011

Hun, i mean this in the nices way.. please, find your voice. i can hear you are a really soft person, you are allowing people to walk all over you.
tell your hubby when he getshome there will be a list of thisng you need help with on the fridge and ask him to help you out. explain to him that you are used to being capable of doing things in a specific way because it makes thisng easier for you (ie when i hang up the washing, i hang up my sons clothes on one side, mine on the other side, hubbys on another side and i hang the underwear in one corner and hang all my socks up in their pairs so that when they are dry i thow the undies in the bottom, roll all the socks into their pairs straight off the line so i dont have to match up socks, fold my husbands clothes, then mine and then our sons. then wehn it comes to packing away, i go straight th the specific wardrobe and pack that family members clothing in, then pack the socks away and sit on the bed folding the undies, pack them away and then i have a very small pile of iorning because i folded most things straight off the line and they didnt have time to wrinkle xx so the extra 10-15 min spent at the line saves a few hours) hubby was annoyed at my very specific ay of doing washing but now understands after he brought in everything balled up and i left it for him to iorn after work the next day!
things need to be done, you need help to get it all done and they need to be done properly or its a waste of your time.
another routine that hubby and i have is he will bath john and get him dressed and in bed while i fix dinner or we will swap and he'll do dinner while i sort john out xx then by the time our dinner is ready - we ar both sitting, our day is done and we can enjoy the meal together
with regds to your family - tell them straight out that you will be spending a while settling for the first few weeks and in a bout two weeks you can arrange a bbq at moms house or MIL house and they can see them and change their nappies too while you and DH spend some time enjoying a glass of wine xx

your milk supply.. have you perhaps spoen to the doc about it? they prescribed Eglynol for me which helped alot - but the fenugreek worked better imo. maybe you caould use a combination like i did for a while too? but honestly hun.. when the girls decide to dry up.. there is very little you can do about it xx if it is stressing you out - it's not worth the worry - just do your best and when nature wants to do something different to what you want to do.. just flow with it and do the next best thing. it doesnt mean you are not doing your best - 'cos God know you are! and dont let other peoples opinions and judgement sway you or worry you! listen to what they say, try what souds worth a try and nodd, smile and forget about the rest xx

((((hugs)))))

now go get your smelly bumm in the shower ;o) xx

Mabel - posted on 02/03/2011

OH Jodie ,it's o k honey ...just take a breath and let it out slowly.=) Hi My name is Tonya and I can see how you are feeling so stressed about how everything is going right now but let me say how happy I am that you and the girls are doing ok.I am sorry that family can be sooo demanding and I know how that can be a stresser but then I see you gently telling everyone to give you and your family some breathing room and let you deal with the most important things first before you are over whelmed with all of the visits.Just explain how you are feeling and let them know that if they can come over and help you at home for one day then when you and the girls are settled at home you will have a small get together for all of the family to come over and meet the girls.They can come over and help clean up or fix dinner for you and let them know how much that would help in getting some stress off and then you can actually sit down for a moment and think of what you need to get done first.Just remember this is my advice and there is no pressure for you to listen or accept this from me.You worry about you and those kids before you worry about the house .I hope this helps and if you want to talk later feel free to message me .