made to feel guilty for being a stay at home Mum

Alex - posted on 05/28/2010 ( 167 moms have responded )

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Do any of you feel as though being a stay at home Mum, people think you don't do anything all day. Or everyone assumes that you are going back to work. I love being at home with my baby but I do work hard as well. My husband works long hours so a lot of the time I do most things by my self. I cook & clean, go to playgroup, swimming lessons and look after my baby 24/7. My husband knows how hard I work and appreciates me so I shouldn't care what others think, but it does irritate me!! What about you?

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Annemaree - posted on 05/29/2010

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hey luv they just jelous im a stay at hme mum and my husband dosnt want me going to work untilkl our youngest is at school ... somtimes when we going through a tight week or two i feel i should b out there working but think about it the amount of childcare u would need not just that but the amount of luv n suport ur giving to ur children , most people are jelous of stay at hme mums and really dont understand its the most difficult job out there ever, and the least payed one .. if people are saying anything or looking down on u because ur a stay at hme mum please dont take any notice of them .. just think to urself that ur kids are lucky cause they have u hme .. i dont have anything against people who work and have kids but i seriously didnt have kids for somone else (childcare workers) to bring up thats my job n im proud to be a stay hme mum n so should u be !!

Brenda - posted on 08/05/2010

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I have been a stay at home mom for 23 yrs. my daughter is now 23 and is multi-handicapped. she has had 132 hospital admissions since birth. and if I were a working mom I would not have had a job for long because my kids came first. My husband has been very understanding when it comes to her needs first and he wouldn't change a thing. he is very helpful when I am at the hospital with her and he even has cancer. diagnosed in march 07. I have also homeschooled my daughter and believe me it was the best thing I could have ever done for her. so don't let anyone make you feel guilty about being ashm. itis a priveledge and honor to be able to stay at home with what God had blessed you with.

Christi - posted on 06/11/2010

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You know what, I found out that the person who doesn't realize how hard it is to be a sahm, is my husband. he thinks all I have to do all day is watch tv and pop bonbons. but when the cubbards magically fill themselves with groceries and the fridge fills itself with groceries and when shampoo appears in the shower and tide is available to wash clothes (he does his own uniforms), and the dishes in the dishwasher are clean, etc. he doesn't think anything of it. He has no clue what its like to keep a house of 4 going. He can't even guess what the prices are of things to buy from the store. I buy it, cook it, clean it and he still complains that I don't do enough. I even use the child support check that I get each week for my daughter to buy everything for the house for 4 ppl including all the food, tide, cascade, shampoo, tt tissue, etc. and he still says I don't do anything. Truely the only people who know how hard being a sahm is are other sahm's. Hence this website :) we know what we do and we know how hard it is. and where is our paycheck? having a 40 hour week job from 9-5 is so much easier than being a sahm. plus don't all the years that we did work a regular job count for anything? for those who can stay at home with their kids, its a great thing to experience. But, with most sahm's there comes a time when they are ready to go back to work. That time may be when the baby's 2 or 5 going into kindergarden. and some women stay at home to care for their kids until they move out. Everyone is different but one thing is the same: IT IS HARD WORK. don't let other ppl bring you down for being a good mom. you know what's best for your kids and your family. Keep up the great work everyone. there is no shame here.

Tasha - posted on 07/28/2011

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People do irritate me when they ask when/if im going back to work, like what i do is sit on my ass all day eating bon bons, im not a housewife, not saying they do nothing, but im a SAHM, i do all a housewife does plus do all aspects of raising my son, taking care of the house, the dog, my husband, grocery shop, dr appts, excersize, dinners, etc... Alex id be so happy if my husband once in the last 7 months ive been home thanked me or showed ANY appreciation for what i do. I worked very hard to achieve a wonderful career that i was in 5 yrs befor i got pregnant, and it was hard to leave but we talked and both decided id stay home with our son. Now if the house is not spotless ive done nothing, and he tells me i should be happy with the free ride ive been given. If my husband loved me like that what others say wouldnt bug me, but now it feels like everyone thinks im a lazy do nothing, its tough to feel no appreciation for the 24/7 work that i do. I just find love and peace in my son everyday, nurture and love him endlessly is my reward.

[deleted account]

I'm a SAHM. Even though I was the one earning the $$ before I got pregnant, my husband & I both agreed that should we ever have children, I'd stay home & he'd bring in the $$. My daughter's 4 now, and we've managed. People who ask "when are you going back to work", etc. are just going w/ the current thought of the day - who cares what they think. As long as you and your partner are in agreement & love the arrangement, who cares what the ignorant think?

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Khadijah - posted on 07/28/2011

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This is a great post!! First of all I wouldn't worry about what others THINK that you should do. You and your husband knows what is best for your family and no outsider can dictate that.



I get flact from my husbands family ALL the time. "So, when are you going back to work? I think the kids (2 1/2 yrs old) are old enough for you to go back to work now." I'm thinking 'Gee thanks for determining that for us....we would have never been able to figure out whats best for OUR family without you!!" smh My husbands Mom love to drop hints like "No matter how much income a husband makes I think it takes two incomes in a home these days". I LOVE being home with my kids (twin girls) and it can be very tiring at times but the payoff is so worth it. My girls are happy, healthy, and well cared for and that's all that matters in me and my husbands eyes. Not what his family or any other outside thinks for that matter.



We stay at home Moms do this becuase we love our kids (not saying working Moms do not in any way) and want the best for them. I'm sure most stay at home moms would agree that we got more rest working fulltime job than staying at home with their children everyday. I worked up until my girls were 7 months old and I STILL would say, even when I worked and came home to the kids, cooked dinner, gave baths, did laundry, etc.....being a full-time stay at home Mom is much more toughter.



In the end....ignore the neigh sayers and do what's best for your family.

Amanda - posted on 07/28/2011

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I do stay at home as well with my children and my husband works long hours as well. However, my husband makes me feel guilty from time to time because we never have no money from week to week to do things that need to be done or pay bills that need to be paid and something winds up getting cut off and then there is a big fight between the two of us. Don't you worry about what others thinks, you just do what you know is right for your little one. that is the only way I have stayed sane myself. When I get through with school then my work days will resume however, I will still be home cuz I will work from home after the 1st year. Keep ya head high and do what you know to do best. Continue being a wonderful mother.

Tristan - posted on 07/28/2011

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I get ridiculed all the time from my sister in law and her husband! She is a step mom to my "nephew" (her hubby's first kid from his first marriage, my Sis in law is his 3rd marriage) the kid is 10, I stay at home with our 3yr old boy and 1 yr old girl. She's all the time telling me she doesn't know how I do it sit at home all day doing nothing! I just wanna slap her sometimes she has an almost teenager, he can fix himself something to eat if he's hungry he can use the bathroom on his own! He can entertain himself! He can put up his own laundry.....etc..... People that think this job is a cake walk need to be slapped!

Tammy - posted on 07/28/2011

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I really don't understand why women that don't work are made to feel guilty. Is it jealousy, or something? I hate working!
What do I do all day?
I take my daughter to swimming, gymnastics, ballet, etc. I play with her, teach her the ABCs. I cook, clean, do laundry, redecorate... etc, etc, etc...
I think that if this was a paying job, our household income would double! Maybe we can get our sorry government to pay us? Haha!

Raquel - posted on 07/04/2010

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I just had my first baby, she was born very early and right now she needs me home, being that she can't leave the house for anything for a very long time. I never realized how hardworking a mom has to be to stay at home with her child, especially if you have a child with special needs or if you like to interact with playgroups and such, and take care of the household. I'm looking foward to my SAHM experience, I want to watch my baby grow. I know some mom's like single parents can't stay home, because they have to work, but I don't think there is anything wrong with a mother who does stay home, if she has the option to.

Kate Kathy - posted on 07/04/2010

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I do understand how you feel.. But sometimes I am wondering if I personally make myself feel guilty.

Tara - posted on 06/30/2010

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Mothering is the most important job in the whole wide world, if it weren't for mothers, where would we be as a society?
Stay at home moms work on average 20 +hours more than moms who works outside the home. We just don't get paid, lol
Your doing the best thing you can for your baby. Don't let anyone tell you different. And if you get this crap from other moms who work, they're likely jealous that you can stay home, or feel inadequate that they are not staying home.
Either way here's a great come back for the whole "When are you going back to work?" question....

"I am working at making a well adjusted human right now, will return to the material world when my mission is accomplished."
:)Tara

Tamara - posted on 06/29/2010

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At leaset your husband appreciates you mine makes me feel like i dont do anything all day. I get so overwhelmed and angry because he thinks i sit on my butt all day while he works! :(

Rebecca - posted on 06/28/2010

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You just have to remember that you are doing the best thing for your child. I can never understand people who choose to leave their child(ren) with someone else all day just to earn enough to pay that person to look after them! They are no better off for it in most cases. It is hard work being a full time mum. You say you take your baby to playgroups and swimming and, I expect, you do other things with him at home. My kids are now at school but I stayed home with them and it really annoyed me that people thought bad of me for doing that although I don't know that many people who thought that. If your husband is happy and able to support you then you just do what you think is best. Your child will appreciate you for it and, from my experience, kids brought up by their mums are usually more intelligent and better behaved. :)

Pamela - posted on 06/13/2010

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It's irritating, but we are all stay at home moms for our own reasons. If your husband can support your family without you working, that's what matters. We have that luxury here. I stay home only because I can't trust my kids (16 and 11) to get homework done and chores if we are both gone at the same time. Now, when my oldest graduates, that will change. I want to work. Part-time, but I would LOVE to get out of this house once in a while. Just go on not caring what people think and enjoy your time at home with your baby!! You will be glad you have! =)

Samantha - posted on 06/12/2010

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I have stayed at home with my kids from day 1 and feel proud of the strong relationship I have with them. I see the security they get from having me there for them every minute of the day ! My husband's family is South African and there the mums all work so i struggled with that. They expected me to get out and work ! Anyway i feel that i have been a support for my husband and kids by staying home and hope to work in the near future now that they are a little older.

Lindsay - posted on 06/11/2010

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I can honestly say no one really has ever made me feel guilty for staying at home with my daughter,because everyone knows how hard i do work,plus i wouldn't even care if people did make me feel as if i didn't do anything because i know different!

Carol - posted on 06/11/2010

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i have been there and back and been there again and again. there are those who understand and sympathize/empathize and there are those who are ignorant. ignore the latter!! you can try to share your day and ups and downs but in the end, if your family is thriving and joyful, only God's opinion matters!!!

Missy - posted on 06/11/2010

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I definitely dont feel guilty about being a sahm.....I have soon to be 5 wonderful kids and I love that Ive been there for every little milestone and every little occassion. I could easily go to work but why? So i can pay someone else to care for my kids? I think not.....Daycare is extremely expensive and most often its hard to know who to trust with your kids. My job is a full time one and although i may not get paid in money, the fact that my kids know mommy is ALWAYS there when they need me, is better than that. Dont feel guilty at all.
As for what we SAHM's do all day well, thats none of anyone's concern. As long as our motherly duties are completed and everyone is happy it shouldnt matter.

Helen - posted on 06/11/2010

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I also get irritated - I am a SAHM - What I do with my spare time when my daughter is in Kindy is volunteer. I am also studying. I always throw back at anyone who asks if I am going back to work that - I have a full time job - I am a Mum. Paid work is not the be all and end all of life. It saddens me that so many women are willing to have a baby then shove it in childcare when it is only a baby so they can go back to work. Why did you have kids in the first place if you weren't going to raise them??? My child goes to Kindy for socialising and also in preparation for prep when I won't be there with her (so playgroup just doesn't cut it sorry) I think when they go to school it is such a huge thing they don't need separation anxiety to go along with it. Sorry a little off topic but I react like this knowing the responses I usually get.

[deleted account]

I get that too. I usually reply back to their questions with the fact that if I worked, all my money would be going to daycare. What's the point of working when I can do that at home for free! I also tell them that I am planning on going back to school in Aug. So between school and childcare, I will be having my hands full.

Amy - posted on 06/10/2010

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You are lucky that your husband feels as he does! My husband is a bit of a jerk and says I sit at home all day doing nothing!

Elizabeth - posted on 06/10/2010

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i get it sometimes from my husband and i simply say if u want to pay for our two kids to go to daycare then ill go back to wrk. i remind him how expensive it is and how much money i save us by staying at home. lol men dont always see it that way and when i say ill go get a job he says baby im just kiddin. lol

Mindee - posted on 06/10/2010

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When asked what I do for a living, I respond, "I'm a domestic goddess". That response usually catches them off guard enough that the only reaction I get is a positive one.
"A housewife’s work . . . is the one for which all others exist".~ C.S. Lewis

Alexandria - posted on 06/10/2010

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It's very irritating to know that people judge you! Although i know i work very hard taking care of my children, i also know people think we do nothing all day! BUT i am here to say that i know A LOT of people that work outsid the home and dont do 10% of what i do in aday! so to those who say SAHM do nothing but sit around and watch TV, I SAY "yep i do watch tv! And clean, cook, do laundry, grocery shop, go to school, teach my children, do crafts take my children out, take care of my husband and house!"

Corrinne - posted on 06/10/2010

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Yeah, I've heard irritating remarks. I just ignore them. I know what I do for my kids is better than some stranger watching them, n they are better off for it..my hubby n I think. Its the best n most rewarding job I've ever had! Yeah, its stressful at times but what job isn't. You know you are doing great by your kids n that's all that matters...let the others talk

Amalea - posted on 06/10/2010

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It irritates me so much that people think that because I dont work, that I have nothing to do all day. Esp. my husband! We are fortunate enough that I can stay at home, and with the way the world if today, I dont trust babysitters or daycare for my son. I think it benefits the kids so much that they have their parent there for them. I cook, clean, do all the errands and shopping, plus take my son to sports and martial arts, I am on the go 5 days a week doing that! people may say we dont do much, but theyre wrong. We have no time sheet, no hourly wage, our job as a Mom is never done. But we have the best benefits in the world!

Rachael - posted on 06/10/2010

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While no one has ever said anything to me about being a SAHM, I have definitely had the disapproving looks and I've even had people change the subject on me when talking about how much I love it. A friend of mine sent me a book and I've never felt more empowered about being a SAHM. It's called In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. She is a huge advocate for SAHMs. When I read this book I felt like I could have written it. It was like she was in my head. Everything I value about being home is in this book. Being here for my son and not missing his firsts, keeping my house a home and taking pride in my husband who works to support us and still helps me out at home because he wants to not because I ask. I highly recommend it to all SAHMs or even moms who are trying to decide to work or stay at home. One thing Dr. Schlessinger points out is that the people who criticize you for not "working" are the ones who regret not staying home themselves or they just don't understand why it's so important to you. I highly recommend it to all SAHMs or even moms who are trying to decide to work or stay at home. Good for all of you moms who stand up for what you believe in! Don't let naysayers get you down. What is/was right for their families probably isn't what's right for yous. :o)

Amanda - posted on 06/10/2010

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to my hubby's family, I'm the lazy one for staying home, and my SIL is the perfect one for staying at home! LOL then she starts a at-home daycare, and she's even more awesome! While she is too tried to tend to her own family at the end of the day, and their finances are crappier then ours, she's perfect! I think it tends on who's opinion you want! LOL I don't give a crap, my hubby is happy with our life, my kids are happy, and that's all the counts for me, it hurts to think people don't think well of you but, I have to do what is best for MY little family!

Kate - posted on 06/10/2010

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I have four children aged between 6yrs and 2yrs.......I do enjoy being at home with them and seeing them off to school and to be hear when they get home.
But I would like to get back to work, as I feel guilty that my husband has to work 60hrs a week to support us. I wish I could relieve that burden a little for him. But I haven't had a job since I was prgnant with my third child 3 years ago, and it's soo tough to find something that would work around my busy family life!!
I get annoyed when people just dismiss me as someone who wouldn't work because I have alot of small children.
Some people have the ability to stay at home and be comfortable. I on the other hand cannot bare to watch my husband struggle to stay awake and worry about earning enough money to keep us afloat!
Being a stay at home mum is wonderful and you get to experience everything with your offspring; but in todays society it can be a struggle on many levels:-)

Patricia - posted on 06/10/2010

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I,m a stay at home mum, and i can tell you it,s a hard job, taking care of 2 kids, cooking, cleaning and everything else that makes a good home. My husband works long hrs as well and when he come home he does noting at all, he feels thats my job.sometimes when i say i,m tired he ask what did you do to be tired, but i want him to do d noting i does do and then he will know how being a stay at home feels like.I,m thinking of going and get a job my kids are 13 and 14.

Rebecca - posted on 06/10/2010

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i thinkpeople dont know where they talking about.
mine daughter is almost 3now.and for the last year iworkas a babysitter.

i di feel now that the time to go back to workis there.
but it was not posibel before as we dont have money for a babysitter and she was not going to a daycare as we coudent pay for it.

this sept she is going to school so i can look for a job.
but i think afther those 3years its going to be hard too.

but i think to being a stayhome mumis the hardested job in the world.
and stil til know i never have 5min just for me.
only when she is sleeping.

its a 24hour job

and to all mums a big 10 for wat we are doing

Mandii - posted on 06/09/2010

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My own sister is one of the narrow minded people in this world who is constantly carrying on about SAHM's do nothing and she has thrown it in my face a few times. I have been told numerous of times that "she works a 40 hour week, and as a SAHM I dont" therefore she must work harder than me LOL
As she doesnt have children I could never expect her to fully comprehend the work that is invovled when your a SAHM. She works, comes home to a nice clean house (thanks to a house cleaner) and orders take out most nights for dinner.
If she had children she would realise SAHM work 24 hours a day 365 days a year, house doesnt clean itself, kids dont look after themselves and dinner doesnt magically appear on the table every night.
I love being a SAHM to my 14 month old and have no plans on going back to work in the near future. I love watching every moment of my Princess growing up and I constantly think about all the milestones I would of missed if I had gone back to work!
I dont think its anyones business whether your a SAHM and if people dont agree with it, they should keep it to themselves and stop trying to bring the SAHM's down!

Im proud to be a SAHM!!!!

Danielle - posted on 06/09/2010

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It irritates me too. In fact, I know that I work harder than most moms who work outside of the home. The difference is that I am doing my work for my family and I am actually the one who is raising my children, not someone else who I don't want influencing them. Give up on what others think and know that you are doing exactly the right thing! They're not and they are probably just feeling guilty about it.

Marcy - posted on 06/09/2010

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I have been on both sides of the fence and I defenitaly feel as though being at home is more demanding but just as rewarding but yes unfortunately you are made to feel guilt.This is really one of the most important jobs you can do.My children I have four boys two adopted and two biological they are my world and it can be crazy and I actually think to myself I wish I were at work right now.I think every mother deserves credit and no one should be made to feel guilty for the choices that are right for their family!

Mandy - posted on 06/09/2010

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I have been told, You are a stay at home mom you have all the time in the world. However I do homeschool my 3 children, cook & clean & make sure we do P.E. Playgroups and all sorts of things with the kids. We work extra hard and don't always have time like others think. I does irritate me how others think we never really do anything I think they should try it in our shoes for a day or a week then find out it is not easy getting everything done that needs to be done in your home and for your children. it is the most work any one person can do and the job doesn't pay and there is never a vacation. BUT it is the BEST job in the world I think a lot of people wish they could be stay at home moms.

[deleted account]

I believe that the problem with our youth these days is that they didn't have a parent home alot during their growing up years. There was no one around to give them morals and teach them decency and common sence. I think being a SAHM is the hardest job in the world. If your family is struggling money wise then you should have a job, but if it's all ok in that department and you and your husband/partner want that for your family then I say stay at home. If you want to work then do that, but don't look down on those who don't. Besides, the prices of daycare are very high most moms who work outside the home end up giving up at least half a paycheck or more (between packing lunches and gas) so really what's the point?

Robin - posted on 06/09/2010

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Raising your children is the most important job in the world, and only recently has being a SAHM been something of a stigmatism. Our mothers and our grandmothers were most likely SAHMs, and you and all other SAHMs are the heartbeat of the family. You are raising the next generation, and not leaving it to an educational institution, and made the sacrifice to be there to raise your children. I think your husband is a fine man and I applaud him for his support and hard work to enable you to do what you think is right.

Rachel - posted on 06/09/2010

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I used to feel as if I was a burden to my husband because I didn't work and it was nothing he said or did. I was raised to be a self-sufficient, independent hard WORKING woman. My mom had/has a thing against men and taught me to never rely on and and always provide for myself. When we got pregnant with our twins I had been working as a 2nd assistant store manager in an auto parts retail store and had worked hard for the position. Originally I had planned to return to work and even dreamed of it when the docs put me on bed rest at 5 months. After having the twins and they were a few months old I returned to work... and was miserable. I wanted to be home with the kids, my hubby and I were missing each other because we had to work opposite shifts cause we couldn't afford childcare. So we talked and opted to have me stay home until the kids started school. The twins will be 3 this friday and honestly I don't want to go back to work. My husband and I both love me being here for the twins and now my 7 month old. Even when they start school we have talked about me still not working and just being there if the kids need me. No need to try to explain to the boss why you have to leave work and feel guilty for it. I'm here for them.

Many people have asked if I will return to work and one day I'm sure I will.... YEARS down the road. For now I love being a mom and being supportive of my husband and family. Be proud girl. Not everyone can be a stay at home mom. It takes talent, patience, and lots and lots of love.

Amy - posted on 06/09/2010

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I hear that too-it's fustrating. What I hear is are you going to find a job when your daughter starts school in the fall? I've recently started Avon to help bring something. I, too, do a lot of things myself ie cooking, cleaning swimming lessons tball etc. but wouldn't trade it for the world.

Candyce - posted on 06/09/2010

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@ Cindy - That's a bit ridiculous actually! It's difficult to believe anyone would really think that, lol. A desk job would be much easier physically than keeping up with children, cooking, cleaning, etc. Small consolation - at least other moms can somewhat appreciate your difficulty, compounded by MS. SMDH at all the morons....
Blessed Be

Cindy - posted on 06/09/2010

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Unfortunately I have MS so everyone assumes it is all I will ever do with my life. It isn't as if people don't think I do anything all day, but it is a back handed slap to say it is the only job one is capable of if disabled.

Candyce - posted on 06/09/2010

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I think a lot of it is misunderstanding and mom guilt. It's the same way whether you work outside the home or are a WAHM or SAHM. We're going to feel guilty about something, so feel guilty about something you actually enjoy (part of the time anyhow) and tell everyone else to suck it :D. Lord I'd love to tell a few people off, totally uncensored..... can't do it though :(
Blessed Be

[deleted account]

my daughter is 7 yrs old and I've been stay at home since she was born. i don't feel guilty at all. i am involved with her school - i volunteered in her classroom and i helped out in several school wide activities. this year i was her girl scout leader and will do it again in the fall. i think people who make you feel guilty are feeling guilty themselves. you don't owe anyone an explanation. you could say, "this child is my job right now. i want to raise a happy, healthy child with lots of experiences. i am needed here right now. as he gets older, i may go back to work, but right now, this is my job. and i love it!" it's not easy staying at home...it is a juggling act - taking care of house, bills, baby and of course YOU! as long as it works for your family, that is all that matters and poo poo to anyone who makes you feel otherwise. Enjoy!

Liana - posted on 06/09/2010

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I was watching something yesterday that said that if stay at home mums got paid for what they do they would be earning an average of £33k a year, my partner told me he couldn't afford me as he earns less than that :)

I find men are very respectful and appreciative of the role stay at home mums play it is other women who do the judging. I had 2 working mothers gang up on me and attack me a couple of months ago it was more about them belittling what I did to make themselves feel better and lesson their feelings of guilt. I told them they needed to pack it in attacking others as well as feeling guilty because children thrive on love it doesn't matter if the mother works or stays home so long as they spend quality time with their kids everyday and the kids know they are loved.

Jennifer - posted on 06/09/2010

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I never liked working at dead end jobs so being a sahm is perfect and I love doing it. It's hard work and stressful some times but I get to be around my love all day-what beats that? As long as my hubby's job supports us until our son is school-age....it's no one's business and not a problem.

Paulette - posted on 06/09/2010

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I was going to say too, after reading another post - that I have also got that I am basically "mooching" off my husband. (grrr!) My husband and I look at it this way, I gave up my career (I was an Insurance Agent whose boss didn't want me quiting) to have a family and raise my own children. I told my husband when we were dating that if I couldn't raise my own children, I wouldn't have them. No way was I gonna have kids to let some daycare raise them. (If it turned out I had to because of some unforeseen tragedy, so be it; however, it was not my first choice to have my kids raised by a daycare.) We've been very blessed that we've been able to be our own kids' parents. I love that I am available for them no matter what.

Paulette - posted on 06/09/2010

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I know how you feel! I got that too. My oldest is now 14 and my youngest is 9 ... I am still a stay-at-home mom of three kids. My husband loves that I still am. I tried working part-time once and my family hated it as they got used to being able to rely on me at home. People who don't think that stay-at-home moms aren't busy or working at home are misinformed. If you are doing everything a wife and mom should be - your life will be full. I look after finances, run errands, pay bills, buy grocery, make sure kids get to appts, to and from play times with friends, making meals, cleaning house, house maintenance ...

I was at a friend's house last summer. This friend's husband's mother is one of these women that think that, whether you're a mom or not, you should be working outside the home. She asked me if I work outside the home, to which I replied, "No, I don't, and my husband loves it that way." It shut her up. :o)

And now that my kids are older - being a stay-at-home shows in what kind of kids they are. They don't have self-esteem issues - they know I'm here for them when they need me - I have relationships with them I may not have otherwise had. Know that by being a stay-at-home, that you are giving to your children something of incredible value - and your husband too. (My hubby loves coming home to a home cooked meal as soon as he walks in the door after work and knowing that everything I take care of is taken care of. It makes his life easier in that he can be fully focused and more productive at his work.)

I think stay-at-home moms who do nothing all day - as I'm sure there are some - just aren't doing all the things a stay-at-home wife and mother should be doing. Maybe they don't clean house or make meals, or play with their kids ...

Be proud to wear the "I am my kids' mom" badge!! :o)

Alicia - posted on 06/09/2010

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Wellll...I do get irritated by that as well. But don't be offended...and it is funny, it is usually women that are asking these questions. I personally, have been asked this a million times, but unfortunately, I cannot go back to work because in this economy, I can only make enough money to cover the cost of child care, so I might as well stay at home with my son and give him all my love.



Personally, I believe this question is posed by women that are envious of being a SAHM...there are a lot of women that wish they could be, but may not have a husband or other means to pay the bills.



Being a SAHM is an amazing experience and would not have it any other way. My husband loves me, my son adores me, and that is all I need to know! All I tell them, is "I will go back to work, when he starts school!' Eventually, we will start sending him to a childcare a few days out of the week, but that will give me time to do the things I can't get done when I have my son with me. We really want to be able to send him to child care so that he can develop social skills. He is not much of a talker, so I want him to start by being around other kids.

Jacqueline - posted on 06/08/2010

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My family is always asking when I'm going back to work next. I guess I've gotten used to it. I'm a sahm but also a full time student. I plan to have 2 degrees before my daughter starts school. Both my husband and I plan to have me stay home until our child(ren) are in school. I think that in many cases it's pointless to have both parents working unless they're making enough to cover childcare plus some

Misty - posted on 06/08/2010

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I absolutely love being a SAHM!! (well to be honest it was a little boring the first 3 months) but I love it!! It does sometimes get to me when people make comments, but i just ignore them b/c my husband appreciates what I do! especially as she is growing and learning more! when he comes home from work we "Show" daddy what we did today or learned and you can see his face light up and he loves us! He made comments at first (jokingly) like " I wish we could switch for a day." well one day we did and he had her all day and he has not once made that kind of comment ever again!! i do think that people would have loved to be home with their child and they do get hurt and thats why they make comments like that! I just thank God that He has allowed us financially to make it! But i do work very hard..coupons, stretching dinners, doing something creative with leftovers... etc.. so i do appreciate both SAHM and working moms, b/c i know it must be very hard to leave your babies to go to work and i sympathize with them! but both are doing something so wonderful for your children! just keep loving them and supporting them no matter what and dont worry about what others say because like everyone else said you really dont know what SAHM's do until you have become one! hope you all are enjoying your children and God bless!!!

Cynthia - posted on 06/08/2010

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Don't ever feel guilty about staying at home with your children. That is the best thing you can do for them. You get to see all of their firsts, instead of hearing about them. I have heard many women tell me that they wish they could stay at home. Also, I have had some people tell me that I was crazy for staying at home. But I would not trade one minute with my kids for a job.

Tiffany - posted on 06/08/2010

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I don't get irritated when people ask me when I plan to return to work. Sometimes I say, "Never!" and other times I just give them a blank stare. What business of theirs is it, really? I work super hard here to teach my children things, and keep a clean house (well, not right now as I'm pretty sick) and my husband knows it.I've been asked by my family as well, and I let them know that when ALL my children have started school, I MIGHT get a pat time job. But for now, there is no reason to, and with the price of daycare nowadays, I'd be spending all of my paycheck and some of DH's too to pay for it. Why is that smart?

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