Mom who needs a friend!

Karen - posted on 10/17/2012

it dowes get easyier you just hang in there you will see how it wil changer for the good i promise

Nazhath - posted on 10/12/2012

Hi Melinda ,



My name is Anjum dont wory everything will be fine just go out and talk to people , dont think people annoy you.Am just like you but slowly started improving get time for ur self i hope you join some job out so that you can improve .



I hope this will be helpfull.

Kerri - posted on 10/11/2012

Hi Melinda, I have 7 children 15 down to 3. One of my Daughters is 9 soon and they all love penpalling. My Children are also homeschooled. We live in Australia. If you or anyone else is interested in penpalling with my children send an email to Kerrilmooney@yahoo.com.au

Alex - posted on 10/03/2012

me and my teen daughter (also homeschooled) seek committed pen-pals too. :)

modestyisbest@yahoo.com

Jodee - posted on 06/30/2012

it does get easier ,i think like some of the other mums shes bored ,and lonely ,any reason why shes home schooled ,may be its time to re think ,kids need social interaction too ,they need to learn to be part of a team and form and maintain friendships , my kids are 14, 13, and 6 and they at times drive me nuts

Jodi - posted on 06/29/2012

Yes, it can and does get easier if you want it to. In nature and in life there is an equal reaction to every action. Change begins when your actions alter to create different reactions. I am wondering if you do group activities with other home schooled young people in your area? I am also wondering where is your daughter's space within your family home, if not her own room?
Being stubborn and opinionated (both you and your daughter) does not mean there has to be constant conflict, there can be disagreement without argument.

Your daughter is in a time of individuation and she is beginning to see herself as something distinct from you. This is scary and challenging for any parent, and as parents we are not given a handbook on how to deal with this. Most often, parents try to dig in deeper and fight harder to maintain a status quo. That will not work and in that paradigm nothing will get better or easier. You are the adult in the relationship, that doesn't mean you get to say how it goes and she has to listen, it means that you are responsible to lead the way in how the relationship goes, and how it develops over time.

Start with recognizing for her and for you, that she is developing into a young person, not a child, and that with that development comes some changes, which can include increased self determination coupled with increased responsibility; they go hand in hand.

www.theconsciousmoment.com

Carol - posted on 06/29/2012

Being around anyone 24/7 is enough to get on your nerves. It sounds like you need a break. I've homeschooled before (for 2 1/2 years). There were days that my husband came home, took one look at me, and told me to get out for the night (as in enjoy myself) so I didn't kill the children. lol I'd come back after a movie or dinner alone (I like dinner alone sometimes) totally refreshed and ready for another week or two.

Also, take a mini vacation from school. The added pressure to create the lesson plans and instruct more than the average parent adds to the already high stress. It sounds like you're isolating both you and your daughter. Are there homeschool or church groups in the area? The parents are more likely to share your social concerns and protect their kids as much as you protect yours. I only have boys in Scouts, but I'd guess that the Girl Scouts are similar. Their activities are structured. The kids still have fun and learn great things, but they aren't as likely to get into the bad side of socialization.

Katrina - posted on 06/29/2012

I have an 11 and almost 4 year old, both with special needs. I'm forever at my daughter to get things done. Her room is shocking. Itry removing priveledges. Eventually she caves and does what I asked.I also expected alot better from her than I've seen from her. What I HAVE noticed is that some other kids her age are disrespectful to their mums, and although every now and then she'll be borderline back chatting, it's not as bad as other parents are getting. They're at that age where hormones cause them to feel confused and scared etc. And they're trying to find out where they fit into the world. Pre-puberty and onwards is tough for kids and their parents. Be kind to yourself - don't try to figure out what you did wrong, because chances are it's not because of something you did or didn't do. Be clear about what you expect from her. Getting her into something where shecan be with other kids (as others'have suggested) could also help. And try to set a night for just YOU!! Alsohaving date nights can help - for you and hubby. I commend you for homeschooling. Must be alot for you to do. Be sure to get YOU TIME!!

Lisa - posted on 06/27/2012

I have four five and under ... I am struggling. People say "it does not get easier" I know they are wrong because I can see things are getting a teensy bit easier every day. Some people are best w babies, some w preteen some w teens ... You and your daughter are just going through a challenging time, do not despair! Also don't forget you are the adult ... If you think she is ignoring you, try "zero tolerance day" ... In advance, tell her the rules. For one day, you don't shout, you don't repeat. When she doesn't do what you ask, she loses a privilege, nothing too major but something she cares about. See if she magically begins to hear again! Lol

Do well, be calm, and make yourself a friend! You can't rely on people like me whom you don't know ... You need an actual friend! God bless.

Lisa - posted on 06/27/2012

Hi!

Sharlene - posted on 06/27/2012

If you want a pen pal. My daughter emily would love to have more pen pals. heres my e-mail sharlenewills@hotmail.com. hope to chat more

Melinda - posted on 06/27/2012

you know...I have been looking into that, she does have 2 cousins the same age that she has never met who are in Tokyo, but I think they are moving back here to the states to hawaii so that would be a great idea, I would have to find a few folks to have her write to that have the same interests as her, good idea, thanks

Sharlene - posted on 06/27/2012

No not at all, I wish my two older children were close to me like that,but they prefer their friends.lol Can you get pen pals where she can write to other kids around the globe .My children are doing that on here with other children,its fun for them

Melinda - posted on 06/27/2012

She is not in any activities at the moment she just loves swimming during the summer so we keep her doing that for a few months she had a few friends in the neighborhood but she doesn't play with them anymore, only plays with a couple a kids that are way younger than her. I don't know what happen to the other kids she was playing with but I think that my daughter is still a kid playing with monster high and barbies and these other kids are just texing on their phones and other stuff, she is not exposed to stuff like the public school kids are, I like to think she's not corrupt by social media and sex bullys and all that stuff that comes with that situation. Am I weird that I keep my kid close like that?

Sharlene - posted on 06/27/2012

Hey, Im sharlene Im from Aust, I have 4 children and 3 of them have special needs age 9,8 2 and 1yrs old. I know what you mean with daugthers I have my 8 yr old asking about puberty course her brother is going through it now.lol. It does get better, Does she play with the kids in the street. try www,meetup. If you feel like to chat to other mums you can meet local mums in your area. If you want to chat message me anytime.

Cherish - posted on 06/27/2012

Hi,
My kids are 19,11 and 10....No it does not get easier,it gets worse,just wait for puberty..lol
If she is home schooled maybe she is lonely as well.Is she in any activities?