Mother-in -law

Cynthia - posted on 10/15/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I posted a Nick name for my son that was my beloved Grandfathers Nickname, well my husbands mom had so much to say about it on FB...I was like OK lady let it go! she was insulting my family in public, I was a little upset at first but then I decided to take it where it comes from scenario and let it roll off my shoulder, but I'm still dissapointed do I tell her how I feel or just drop it, she's so damn opinionated anyway and I know once I open my mouth she's not going to have a leg to stand on. I'm trying to be a LADY. Any suggestions?

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Jeannette - posted on 10/17/2009

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YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR HUSBAND needs to handle this, not you. He needs to sit his mother down and let her know under no certain terms is she to ever insult his wife or her family because when she does, she is insulting him. I don't know what it is with men and their mothers, they are like mush. He needs to put you and your feelings first, not his mother. That is what a MAN does. A husband cowers

Chrissy - posted on 10/17/2009

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tell her its got nothing to do with her, dont shout ect just say we r both adults and i think it is time we started to act like it for my both your son and husbands sakes she should have no way out of it as if she was to say no then she is saying she is a child, u get the upper hand and then the chance to say how u feel with out any s**t off her as she wont wanna look bad, good luck

Kati - posted on 10/17/2009

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I have a mother in law that is a witch- to me only! She took it upon herself to decide my daughter was going to be raised Catholic- without talking to me first!!! She even had her ceremony without me being there!! She talks trash about me too and has went as far as calling Social Services telling them I neglect my child. Needless to say all the fussing between us caused problems between me and my husband , and now we are getting divorced! She lives 4 blocks from me and does not see my daughter until her dad gets her. She encourages him to go out so she can have time with her "best friend" so he does and spends 2 hours with her before she comes home!!!! I am very outspoken and can't handle those that judge my "mothering" ability so I had to say something and I knew what would happen in the end. If you and your husband are on the same page I would say something but if you have any doubts what it may do to you guys relationship I would think, long and hard, before you say anything! Mother in laws seem to be your friend to your face and enemy behind your back!!! I assume not all are like the one I had- I hope so anyway!!! I knew getting married to the baby of 6 (10 years between him and the next) and only boy would be difficult but I thought he would support his family not his mother!! Goodluck sweetie!! I hope it gets better!!

Christi - posted on 10/17/2009

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it depends on your relationship with her. my mother in law is a bat. she critisized me from the time i got pregnant to the time i gave birth and then told me i wasnt a mother because i couldn't make milk or deliver vaginally. i confronted her about her never coming to see her first grandson when she lives, literally, three streets over and she gave me all kinds of excuses. my husband has twin sister and the youngest twin has a six year old girl and the oldest twin just gave birth three months ago to twin boys. they live two hours away but she sees them three days a week and takes them all out to dinner. i finally just got rid of basically having to beg her to see my son and cut her out of our lives. i don't need the drama.

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Jeannette - posted on 10/17/2009

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This is for Katie Q. Where was your husband when his mother was pulling all this crap? She called protective services on you and he didn't clock her?!

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personally, i would really try not to give her the satisfaction of letting her know it bothers you what she says and does.. she trying to get to you.. some people get off on it.. being a lady is a hard thing to stick by but in this situation i would really try to keep it.. she's obviously a drama queen and has nothing better to do

Carolee - posted on 10/17/2009

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If there is a way to tell her that it is a family nickname, and the insulting comments about it (without knowing the origins) is inappropriate, I would do so! Talk with your husband first, and see what his reaction is. If he's not totally against it, call her. And it is YOUR son, not hers. You can give your son any nickname you want!

Marie - posted on 10/17/2009

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I would say it depends on where you are in relationship with her. Are you at a place where you need ot earn her respect, do you need to require it? Are you confident enough to stand strong and truly let 'all' of it go including any later reprocutions? Do you believe you need to say something?

I am a very outgoing and loud person for the most part. I personally would write out what i wanted to say, reread and edit it later (at least one hour). Then decide if I still needed to say domething for my immediate family's sake & if yes, then do so with the intent of restoration(if possible). Just keep that in mind for when she irritates you. God bless! Good luck!

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