Mothers with broken dreams and spirits?

Darien - posted on 04/06/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I never really had a great childhood growing up, never had that carefree moment in my life as a teen either.. Im 18, with a 2 year old toddler and another on the way. Highschool was so complicated to continue after I had my toddler because of lack of support and I felt that pregnancy was an escape from my troubling family..

Tried to get my GED but the education system here in Brownsville, Texas is just plain idiotic that it took me a year and a half of waiting just to take the GED tests. I failed one subject of the whole test and because they are really greedy they failed me so that I could come back to pay for GED classes that I dont have the money for.. So I never accomplished anything..

I always felt like I was going to be meant for something more but life seems to prove me different.. So now im in a hole forever more.

I love my child and the little baby on the way so much, dont get me wrong..

But sometimes I wish things were different..

Does any other mother feel that way?..

(If you want to come in here to talk down on me, please kindly just click out of this post because right now.. I need support more than anything..)

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[deleted account]

Things get better. You do have to work at it, if you fail, you fail, but it's no excuse not to try again.



When I was 4 years old, my family became homeless, my father was a meth addict and my mother worked across town (we lived in a scrap heap yard, but she stayed in an ally close to work and came "home" on weekends). When I was 6 years old, she was kidnapped and forced into the sex slave industry.

Most of the homeless kids I knew blew off school, but I worked my a$$ off at it because I knew I wanted more. I collected cans and turned them in at a recycle to pay my bus fair to the school.

My mother escaped when I was 9 years old, and she started working in a sweatshop in our town. Shortly after that, I moved from the scrap yard to an ally downtown where I worked carrying trash to dumpsters for high-end restaurants. When I was 14, my mom bought a little house--it didn't have electricity, water, or windows, but it had a fireplace and a roof. I didn't move into it until I was 15 because it was too far from work and school. By the time I was 16, I had enough $$ saved to buy a 1973VW Beetle. It didn't run, but my income was steady so I was able to rent a parking space downtown where I could be warm and sheltered and locked up, and still be close to work and school. When I was 17, I graduated highschool, with honors, and I got the car running.



Things were FINALLY looking up--I applied and was accepted to 3 universities, and I earned nearly $88,000 in scholarships. I was going to collage, and would have my first "real home"--a dorm room--since I was 4 years old.



Unfortunately, I started getting very sick and was diagnosed with lymph node cancer and a cluster of tumors were growing along my spine. I spent the next 4 years in and out of the hospital fighting with both chemotherapy, radiation, and a plethora of experimental crap. I lost the scholarships because I failed to enroll in collage within a year of graduation.



While in the hospital, I was drowning in medical bills--not sure where you are, but in the US, medical care is not free, and by year 3 I was in debt by nearly $750,000. I needed money, so I sold my car and bought a computer. I used that to build a website that paired professional photographers with print vendors. That site grew quick, and by the time I was 22, I was an official "millionaire". Of course, that doesn't mean I had money to buy whatever I wanted, a big bulk went to medical bills, another chunk bought my mom and myself homes, and another big chunk put my dad through 2 1/2 years of rehab in a private facility. And a fairly small chunk paid for my wedding--met the man of my dreams working 3rd shift in a drug store between chemo treatments, and yes, he loved me bald :)



Most of that income came from selling rights to my idea, once all the big companies had rights, the income dwindled--it was still good, but I'd never earn another million dollars. After our wedding, I started a product company that put photographs on jewelry, and that grew. When J was born, I hired managers so that I could stay home with him. Eventually, those two companies got too big for my comfort and I sold them, and invested the earnings into an office building which I now lease to several small companies for a modest monthly income.



So basically, all that to say--if you want to do something other than what you are doing, there is nothing stopping you but your determination. Decide what you want to do, then work your a$$ off to achieve your goal. If you failed one portion of the GED test, then you failed it--they can't say you passed if you didn't. Study information on the part you failed, review the rest and take it again. Then study the field you want to work in. If you cannot afford college, study on your own while working until you can, and look into student loans. I never got back to college, but I studied enough on my own about marketing, web-design, and coding to build a great website, and that's all I needed. You can do the same thing.

Stifler's - posted on 04/09/2012

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I feel that way sometimes I made stupid decision to have kids before finishing uni. You're not in a hole forever. When kids are really young it feeels like forever until you'll have a whole night's sleep or do anything for yourself ever again. They will grow up and go to school and you can get a job or do a degree without them around distracting you from study for a few hours.

Melanie - posted on 04/07/2012

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There are all sorts of things you can do to make money from home. I'm working on finding some ways right now. I'm 23 with my 3rd child on the way. I've had health issues all my life that prevent me from holding a real job, so my husband supports us. I was really lucky to find him. We do need more money though, so I'm trying to find ways online or from home making things. I can send you to some blogs that help people find work from home if you want. Send me and email at sweet_lil7up@yahoo.com I promise I won't be sending you spam stuff to try to make money off you. I hate those things. And I won't send you anything that costs anything to sign up for. Just put the title of this in the subject line so I don't delete it as spam.

Melissa - posted on 04/07/2012

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Life is rough but you have to keep your chin up and keep pushing ahead. I agree to look into funding for the tests. The local community college has a program that puts you through classes to prepare and then the tests for free. Check out yours and see what you can find. You should also be able to qualify for pell grants and childcare so you can go to college. Don't let your past define you but make your present and future count for you and your babies. Good luck

[deleted account]

Well now that Kelly has made me cry with her amazing story...

You can do anything you set your mind to! I'm 25 yrs old and have 3 children. Would I love to be doing something else somedays...YES! But I'm doing what I wanted to do my whole life and thats be a Mom.



Some of my background-I was born to a 16yr old Mother (from here on out known as egg donor) who had drug issues & a 19 yr old Dad (from here on out known as sperm donor) who did anything a woman told him to do. When I was 1 1/2 my egg donor kidnapped me and hide me for almost a week. The police found me and my MOM said I crawled over the cop cars to get to her. Egg donor would switch form one bf to another without a care for me. It was the 80's before carseats were a must and she would sit me on the van floor on a blanket and feed me pop and junk food, she would beat me and allow her bf of the week to beat me. She had sex with one bf while I was in the bed with them. One day she got into a fight with her bf and his family and left me at 2 1/2 to watch my little brother who was only a few months old while she went to ride horses! Before I was 2 1/2 I had seen things no child should ever have to see. She stopped coming to get me when I was 2 1/2. My sperm donor had custody of me and lived with my Grandparents. To keep me away from my egg donor and so he could do what he pleased my sperm donor signed over custody of my to my Grandparents and they adopted me when I was 4. (Took that long to prove to the state my egg donor was not a mother and could not be "fixed".) So my biggest dream was to be a Mother like my Mother (grandma) has been to me. Which I work everyday to be 1/2 the Mom and 1/2 as understanding as she.



With this being said nothing should stop you. Try looking into grants for GED testing. Alot of states having funding to help young or single moms. You might be able to find something for housing if you need it, help finding a stable job or even something to help with childcare so you can take your classes. Fight with all you have to dig out of this hole and everything you do will be that more special because you earned it and know how hard you worked for it! It will show your children that their Mother is strong and anyone can do what they want in life. You will make it! We all fall in holes but its HOW you dig out thats important!

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Elizabeth - posted on 04/07/2012

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Just keep your head up. Things do get better. My life was hell for a very long time, but I just kept fighting for what I wanted and now have two beautiful little ones, a wonderful husband, and a masters in criminal justice. My dad was clinically insaine and my mother was an evil addict. She would trade me and my sisters to keep the men she said she loved around. She left us random places for long periods of time where we where tortured in different ways. I was not able to get away until I was older and no one took us away. When I moved out she was still with one of those men. I was forced to go back one last time before I met my hubby. I harbor horrid memories but refuse to let them make my path for me. What is in the past cannot be undone but we can choose to gain strength from it. Create your own path and do not let anything stand in your way. Love your little ones and yourself all the way and reach for what makes you happy. The world is yours so reach out and take it, and if it gets hard gather strength from it. I wish you luck in all your endevors and life. Live happy.

Edna - posted on 04/06/2012

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Have you tried looking in to funding to help you pay for the tests,?

I know it seems impossible but you can do both, or as your so young you have plenty of time to go and do afterwards.

your never stuck in a hole forever you just have to keep trying untill you find the right way out.x

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