Mr. Mom??

Alice - posted on 08/14/2010

Jenna, If your husband is so good with kids and wants to stay home and you want to go back to work... I'd say give it a shot.

For one two-year segment of our lives my husband and I had to both work, but daycare costs for 3 babies was just enormous - and would have cost more than the extra income would bring in, so we did switching shifts. His job was from 4pm to midnight or later so I found one that was 5am to 2pm (we had an hour commute each way so needed at least 2hrs in between). My husband was then and still is wonderful with the kids, but we never had any couple time, which we both hated so I came back home once he got promoted & I found a work at home job. If I had an outside opportunity that allowed me to make more than my husband does, we'd swap places in a heartbeat because both of us would rather be home or work from home full time.

You can at least give it a shot ; it sounds like your husband would make a great Mr. Mom. Mine did (and when my work-at-home job gets just a little better, we will both be working at home!) Only a few months to go!

Good Day! - posted on 08/14/2010

If he's comfortable with it, and you're comfortable with it...go for it! I'm sure it's scary to think about work though. But how will you know if you don't try? Or, here's another suggestion. Maybe you could start a home based business together? That way you could both have "work" duties and "baby" duties.

Julie - posted on 08/14/2010

If you think your husband could do it, then go for it. Mine would have a heart attack at the thought of staying at home with our four kids!

Tasha - posted on 08/14/2010

I'm not laughing at you right now but you do have me laughing at my husband! My husband would call me at work for every little things and my kids would more then likely spend their days naked eating goldfish crackers so no i cant see it in this house! Honestly if you think your husband could do it i would go for it. maybe after the baby is born take a few "personal days" and see how it works. be unavailable for phone calls and see if he makes it.

Jenna - posted on 08/14/2010

Like I said, my husband is pretty good. As far as the chores? I'm not a huge spotless house person. When my first son was an infant, I was able to cook and clean, and still have time left in the day. As he got older, I noticed my energy beign drawn away from all of the cosmetic things and just focusing on him. Then when I became pregnant again, woah, my amid must have died lol. Some days are better than others, but for the most part, I hav ebeen happy if I can make it through a day without morning sickness. Put that on top of a very demanding toddler and I'm no longer a sticky housekeeper lol. I think I might actually have the energy and desire to clean once more, when I'm not just seeing all day, every day. I think when you get to a point where you just can't keep up with the clutter, that you just kinda accept and rationalize why it isn't being taken care of like it once was lol.

Lisa - posted on 08/13/2010

My partner would probably love to stay at home with the kids. However, his idea of what his role would be is probably a lot different that what my role is right now. He is a wonderful daddy, however, he forgets little things thoughout the day...like feeding them at regular intervals and then wondering why the 20 month old is screaming and throwing a fit!!!

Jenna - posted on 08/13/2010

I gotta say, for the most part, he is great with our son. When I came home from the hospital, I was lucky to have my husband for home for an additional week and a half. But he really didn't have a lot of "infant" time. The baby stage scared the crap out of him. My son is now 20 months old and is going through teething hell, (his 2 year molars are all trying to come in!), and Bob is handling pretty well.

They are both the same though. Stubborn, loud, and argumentative - they love pushing each other's buttons. Since Bob has been home the last month and half due to lay off, he has been paying more attention to how I take care of our son, his routine, and the cooking as well lol. I think for taking care of older son, he would manage okay. The new baby? I have no idea lol.

My problem is I have to keep reminding myself to step back and let Bob handle things. Even if he doesn't do it the way I would have, I need to let him develop his own method of taking care of our son lol.

I can say he is much better at parenting than his father or his brother. I have never had to worry about my son not having his diaper changed or not being fed properly when I have been away from him.

Michelle - posted on 08/13/2010

I had the same problem as Jane when my sons dad stayed home with him so I could start school again while he was looking for jobs...his mother or father took care of my son when they were home. even though my boyfriend is a wonderful father, he is a little selfish when it comes to his needs (eating, sleeping, and smoking) so he would leave my son crying for a bottle while he went for a quick smoke break before putting him down for a nap. Not to mention, in the mornings, my bf would sleep in until his mom had to go to work, letting her take care of my son. Then when his dad came home 4 hours later, he would leave the baby with him to go get food for an hour and a half! As a man that has been taken care of for 25 years, he just doesn't get the whole putting your childs needs ahead of your own. It took him a VERY long time to be able to feed him a meal without me laying the food out for them. He still doesn't wash bottles or clothes or clean up the toys, but hes a man. He is in charge of the baby and thats what is on his mind.

He used to yell and scream and throw tantrums when I got home and it was driving me crazy because my mother instincts kept telling me that something wasnt ok. I finally told my bf that I would stay home and he had to find work. (just like I would have told any daycare center or babysitter) Now my son is happy all day and when daddy comes home he is ecstatic that were both there. We hardly see a tear anymore.

Gemma - posted on 08/13/2010

My DH is an amazing cook, but im not sure he would cut it as a stay at home dad, we take it in turns to have lie ins on his weekends off and when its my turn for a lie in i get up and nothing has been done, whereas when i would get up the dishes are done, the kitchen is cleaned after breakfast and any toys that the kids have brought out in the morning have been put away. In saying that though, im not a erfect housewife and i think that he puts a lot of effort into working hard to provide for us,if being a stay at home dad was his "job" then maybe he would put as much effort into that.

Kari - posted on 08/13/2010

I'm actually in a very similar situation. I have been going to school, mostly on line, for the last four years and then had a baby in October. Now her daddy has been laid off and we are both applying for jobs. The prospect of returning to work and leaving my baby home with him or in daycare is a sore subject for me since I've always been home with her. But at the same time I'm a little excited to be with people again. I think that all we can do is talk with our Mr. mom's about how we feel, tell them what you'd like to have done with your baby and your house if this happens and relax. Scary or not things will work out. I have also feared that somehow much of the regular chores will still fall on me since my guy can't multi-task nearly as well as I can, and he can't cook. But I can only hope for the best so here goes nothing.

Lydia - posted on 08/13/2010

my uncle actually stayed home with his 3 little ones because of the same situation, he lost his job and his wife could easily get back into her old position. he used to help in the house a lot and actually always was the better cook in the family, so for them it worked just fine. it really depends on the man.
well, you could have a try-out for a week and see how he is doing...

Stifler's - posted on 08/12/2010

definitely! they'd get the hang of it. i know my partner had qualms about leaving me home alone with our kid when he was first born and whether i could handle it etc but i got the hang of being a mum and dads would do the same.

Renae - posted on 08/12/2010

I think it depends on the man. My husband would never offer to do it, and I would never ask him, because he is not the homemaker type. He would probably be ok looking after our toddler if he HAD to, he would feed and change him, he might make dinner and tidy up a bit... but there is no way he would do everything that needs doing to keep the house in order and I think being a caregiver all day would drive him bonkers. I would end up with no time for our baby because I would spend every evening and all weekend doing chores, just like I did before I was a SAHM. I was a career woman before, but I always intended on becoming a SAHM while our baby was young.

If life put us in a situation where there was no other option, then MIL would probably retire and she would come and help him look after the house and baby and do most of the work. (Yes I'm absolutely serious! She would do it and he would let her and she would drive me insane!)

I only know one stay at home dad. In my personal opinion, he didn't do as good a job as most mums I know. He did the laundry, cooked meals and occasionally mopped or vaccummed, but he never cleaned the house properly. He spent very little time doing activities with the kids and basically left them to their own devices. He had far more time to spend fishing all day than any SAHM I know!

So I guess, it depends on the man. Maybe write him a list of everything you do, for each day of the week, so that he can really see what it would involve and see if he still wants to do it.

I am sure there are men out there who would make great SAHD's. I know a couple who are planning for mum to stay at home for the first 6 months and then dad will be staying home and she will return to work. I think he will be great, he is that sort of person and equally shares the housework now so he knows whats involved with that. Yes I could relax if things that need to be done were getting done and I wasn't coming home to more work, that would be my main concern.

Jane - posted on 08/12/2010

i don't know. my hubby took care of our 1st from 6mos to 12 mos but when i say he took care of her, it was actually his mom. that's the only peace of mind i had.
tell him to get his butt back out there and get a job. lol!
go on some interviews and see how things go both as far as what's out there for you and how things go at home w/you out for a while. set a deadline where if you haven't found a job, he goes back on the job search or if the kids have to go to the ER, then you're back home. lol!