My 21yr old son that doesnt work and comes home at 6am everyday

Deamarie281519 - posted on 10/20/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hello just on here to get advice im a single parent i have a boyfriend that lives with me and my 29yr old daughter and my 21 yr old son, my daughter teaches kids with Autism and my 21 yr old son doesnt work but hangs out all hours of the night mon thru fri and comes home between 4am and 6am usually aboyt the time that i have to get up and get ready for work, my boyfriend is very annoyed with my sons behavior and he expects me to put a stop to it and ive tried talking to my son but he keeps on doing as he pleases, and its causing alot of arguing with my boyfriend because he keeps giving me lectures of what to do and i honestly dont know whats the right solution for this matter. My sons room is literally in my room and my boyfriend is bothered by my son coming home late in the morning also me and my son share a car and when he takes it at 8pm he brings it home late just yesterday i had to call out because he wasnt arround, he told me that he had an interview but since i called out he slept thru his interview i tried to wake him up but he didnt wake up so i let him sleep, how can i make my boyfriend stop nagging ? How can i make him feel better? Im in a tough situation and no matter what i do or say i feel myself in a tough position.

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Michelle - posted on 11/30/2016

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Well you have a choice to make, you can stay and put up with it or leave. It doesn't sound like she will change her attitude.
On a side note, lying is never good, especially if you are wanting people to help.

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Deamarie281519 - posted on 11/30/2016

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thank you michelle just wnted you to know that everything i have expose here on circle is 100% true im in this and im still here because i love her and im hoping that she wakes up soon.

Deamarie281519 - posted on 11/30/2016

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When you live in a house where the child isnt your biological son theres just noway to ever win. Its a helpless battle im starting to realize this.

Deamarie281519 - posted on 11/30/2016

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Hello and thank you for the advice given i am the boyfriend and the truth is that im alone in this battle, im so upset that my gf refuses to see the truth and she and her daughter juat yesterday admited that they dont stop the situation because they are afraid of how he will react, im upset at this whole situation ive been labeled as the bad guy and what kills me is that he shouldnt be driving period especially with epilepsy God forbid he gets into an accident , or hurts himself or someone else or even kills who ever is in the car with him. But just cause he helped his mother by giving her partial payment for the lease she just doesnt know how to just take the keys away. To make matters worse he drinks and drives, im up at 4am mon thru friday and i leave my house 515am the latest and sometimes hes not even home yet and my girlfriend hates that this bothers me and says its not my business but yet if she ever has to get up and go to a hospital due to his stupidity and because she couldnt just avoid this , i will be the one whos by her side so how isnt this my business? I have no health coverage and i dont have no one to talk to but im aware that my home is falling apart, i live in a house where i feel like i have to walk on eggshells because if i speak and people dont like what i say i will end up being cornered like i was lastnight just because i woke up at 10pm and noticed that the car was not in front of the house and wasnt till about 3am and he continues to just take it without asking if we have any plans, he literaly waits for his mother to go to sleep. Im so stressed out my name is jose if anyone wants to suggest any ideas im at my last straw.

Jodi - posted on 10/20/2016

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Your boyfriend has a point. It IS time to put a stop to it. Stop talking to your son about it. Your son needs to grow up and be respectful in your home or move out. Period.

And I agree about the contract. If he wants to remain in your home, you should have a contract, and he should be contributing to his rent and other expenses.

Michelle - posted on 10/20/2016

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I agree with Ev. Draw up a contract for him to continue to live in your house. He's an adult and needs to be contributing to all the bills and paying rent.
If the car is yours, then he doesn't get to use it. He can get a job and buy his own.
If he doesn't want to live by your rules, he can move out.
Your boyfriend is right and your son is walking all over you. Time for some tough love. You aren't doing your son any favours by letting him do whatever he wants. YOU need to teach him to be responsible and contribute.

ETA: Your future DIL's are going to hate you, you have raised a "Mummy's boy" that can't do anything for himself. Your job is to raise your children to be able to survive without you.

Ev - posted on 10/20/2016

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It is way past time to get your son kicked out of the house. OR make a contract where he has a month to get a job and contribute or else. Your BF is right, something needs to change. Your son is living off you and you are allowing it to happen!!!!! He is walking all over you!!! Who owns the car? If it is in your name you do not have to share the car!!!

Erika - posted on 10/20/2016

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I would give him a curfew and make him find a job. You can't possibly make a living off partying. Your boyfriend is right. You need to toughen up your son and lead him in the right direction.

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