My 4 year old pees the bed!!!

Tara - posted on 05/07/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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My son has been potty trained since he was 3 and a bit (so over a year now) He never has accidents during the day, however, pees his bed almost every night. I think I'm going to put him in a good night pull up because I'm tired of washing his sheets everyday (like I don't have enough to do =) Just wondering if other people have experienced this with their kids? My only concern is that if I put him back in a pull up at night, will his bladder become lazy and then he will keep peeing the bed or will he grow out of this? What other methods have people tried? He doesn't get a drink past 7pm (bedtime is 830), he goes pee before bed and wakes up sometimes at night and I take him to the bathroom..he still wakes up wet.

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Jenny - posted on 05/07/2009

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I would not recommend using the pull up because then that gives an excuse that it is ok to pee the bed. My brother was a bed wetter until age 6 and my mother's pediatrician told her to try putting him to bed earlier and to have a calming routine at night...the thinking being that if children are more relaxed just before bed, they can fully drain the bladder and hold it all night. If kids are stressed, rushed or excited before bedtime, they will go potty but not fully drain the bladder and thus have accidents at night. Or they are so tired, they don't wake up with the cue to go to the potty. Good luck and hang in there.

Fit2BMe - posted on 10/01/2012

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We use the FLIP trainer (cloth diaper pull-up) for our 3 year old son. You can choose to have one liner or many more depending on how much he wets at night. The good thing is it lets him feel the wet if he has an accident, but spares the sheet. And the cloth pull-ups are as easy to wash as his underwear. I've tried a few brands, however this is my favourite as the size is adjustable. My son only uses one liner, so it fits thin like underwear.

(If you don't do cloth diapering, a tip is to use natural laundry detergent that won't affect absorbency, and to not use fabric softener, also pre-wash the liners 3-5 times to maximize their absorbency.). With the flip there is a separate shell/outside that is waterproof, and the absorbant liners just Velcro in.

My son doesn't wet every night, or very often, so we only needed one. We dont give him liquids past supper, and wake him up to go pee right before we go to bed (11pm-12am), and that not only helps keep him dry but also raises his awareness as he now often wakes on his own asking to go pee.

I found the disposable pull-ups were too absorbant so in the morning he would think he was dry when the pull-up was actually soaked. We started cloth pull-ups before we started cloth diapering. It was actually the amazing ease, reduced garbage, and money saving of the pull-ups that got us onto the diapers!

Brandi - posted on 06/17/2009

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My brother was well into his older childhood years before he quit wetting the bed. After several times of him being in trouble for it my parents decided to get it checked out. Come to find out he had a polyp on his bladder that would fill up and release on it's own with out him knowing. And it would only happen when he was asleep. But he grew out of it in a couple more years. Have the little one checked. It won't hurt anything to go and see a doctor. Good luck!!!

Sandra - posted on 05/29/2009

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Yes, nighttime pull ups save your sheets (sometimes). I have a 5 1/2 year old who use to have accidents every night. If you have done research you will have found that there are lots of children who will continue to wet the bed at night for several years i.e. 7-10 years of age. Even though it is not the child's fault, it can still be frustrating for the mom.

To save your mattress use a plastic liner if you do not have one already. I used waterproof mattress pads that had to be washed along with the wet sheets. It took me several years before I found out about plastic liners. They are cheep, and if the pad has not been washed and dried before bedtime- its okay. You do not have to have a mattress pad.

Our pediatrician kept saying that it could take several years before his bedwetting would stop. I understood this-even if I did not like it. I did not want to wait years to see if he would stop bedwetting and my son was getting frustrated with himself, so we went to a urologist just to make sure there were no problems.

When we took our 5 year old son to the urologist we found out he had built a thicker than normal muscle around his bladder. He would hold his pee in for longer than he should and this built up the "muscle" around his bladder. The urologist recommended that we put him on a schedule that he goes potty as soon as he wakes up and before he goes to bed, also every 2 hours until bedtime. THIS WORKS! As long as we are consistent in making him go potty often through the day we do not have accidents.

I am now a very happy mom that does not have to wash bedsheets everyday.

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Heather - posted on 04/30/2013

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My daughter is four she'll be five in dec and we've been struggling with this for a long time. She was hard to potty train, she was almost 3 before she fully understood. she went almost four months without peeing the bed after she got treated for a UTI and then started once again. She hasn't complained like she did once before, and I do my best not to get frustrated, but when I'm the only parent that deals with everything that comes with it, it can get very frustrated. Tonight though she actually woke up and generally she doesn't. She's not allowed anything to drink after dinner, and dinner is generally done by six. But she has a tendency to take off with her younger sister's sippy. I've just runned out of ideas, the only thing i haven't done is talk to her pediatrician.

Staci - posted on 10/01/2012

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my son was potty trained at 2 and he is almost 6 and is a bed wetter. I use the pull ups/good nights to help him. it doesnt happen every night but most. I have asked the doctor and was told its normal. I dont like it and he feels embarrassed around others when he needs to put them on. I hope he grows out of it soon.

Fit2BMe - posted on 10/01/2012

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I should add, sometimes the trick is taking him pee in the night at the right time. My 3 yr old son goes to bed at 7pm, and if we wait to take him at midnight then he is dry. Some kids need 11pm and 4am, and then eventually drop the 4am pee.

Fit2BMe - posted on 10/01/2012

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Bamboo and Hemp are super absorbent! My son could never do the wool as he over heats, but I agree with PP that a cloth option is probably your best bet. And this is coming from a mom who has used both disposable and cloth. So it's not to be preachy, just to say that we found it to be the way better option of the two for many reasons.

Melanie - posted on 09/30/2012

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After reading several posts on here, I am glad that I am not the only mother who's child pees in bed at night. My 4 year old daughter has been potty trained since she was 2 1/2 years old (thank you grandma, sis, and brother-in-law). Recently, she has been peeing in her sleep. Whether it's a nap or bedtime. Usually, when she naps, she's okay. When she's around me, she tends to hold too long. When she's with grandma, she pees on the floor (where she's playing at) or she pees in her panties and shorts right in front of the toilet. Why!!!!???? Then she lies about it. Grrr...it is very frustrating. I put her in diapers that my 20 month old is using. I told her that it'll keep her from wetting the bed because she tells me that she's not a baby; she's a big girl. I washed her sheets twice now. Thankfully, she has a mat underneath her sheets. The ones that are used at the hospital for pregnant women or elderly people...so the mattress won't be ruined. Yeah...those things. My mom kept two. Thank goodness she did. They sure come in handy. Hopefully, she will come out of this. Sometimes, she will wake me up to use the bathroom. Then she will want a drink. The thing is...she drinks chocolate milk.

Dana - posted on 08/07/2009

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I wish I could help you with this but I can't. I wet the bed till I was 11. My parents bought this foil thing that set off an alarm when wet. I guess it worked, My son also wet the bed. I just dealt with it until now it's gone.. I feel for you. I've been there.

Dawn - posted on 08/07/2009

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my daughter is 4 and she gets a cup of milk before bed. so her bladder is full. we make her go potty before she even gets the milk. and then before we go to bed..either my hubby or i will carry her into the bathroom and sit her on the toilet and she goes pee. then we put her back to bed. she doesn't even really wake up. and she doesn't wet the bed either.

not sure if this would work for you and your son but this is what we do.

we were doing the pull ups but they're expensive and we have another baby in diapers.

Vicky - posted on 06/07/2009

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My 4 year old son has been dry during the day for about a year now. but he still wet's the bed during the night. We thought we may have this problem when me and my husband had children because my husband was diaognosed with a much smaller bladder than normal as a child. He's up about 3 times during the night, even now.

We use pull-ups during the night now, but i explain to my son that they are bedtime pants.

We alternate between huggies and pampers. my son love "spiderman" and "cars" so perfect for us. They have symbols on them, so if the pull up gets wet the symbol dissapears. I made a star chart at home and everytime he wakes up dry we add a star..This seems to work for us. Bless him he gets so excited to see the symbol there when he wakes!

I make sure he has his last drink at 6pm, bed at 7pm. he's only to sip water there after. He goes to the toilet before bed and once he wakes.

Although the changing of the sheets is very frustrating for me, i try not to show it.

I think it's just the case of persevering, hoping they will grow out of it.

Goodluck.

Vicki - posted on 05/30/2009

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Usually the cause is hereditary, due to a smaller sized bladder. Do not make a big deal, or shame the child. He cannot help it and will outgrow it. Talk to your doctor.

Thank God for night time pull-ups.

Vilate - posted on 05/24/2009

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So i would so not use pull ups on him. it will make him feel like a baby! I would make a (or you can have me make them for you!) pair of underware that are made with hemp and or bamboo so they are absorbent, and then a pair of wool shorts. I have tons of wool info on my cloth diapering web page http://www.niftynappybyvilate.weebly.com

Let me knwo if i can help you out. I can point you to patterns if you sew! :)

Krista - posted on 05/10/2009

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My 8 yr old was the same way. Daytime potty trained at 3, but he didn't stop wetting at night until sometime last year, between age 6 and 7. It's just a maturity thing sometimes. He wasn't able to control it. So he had the night time pullups (thank you Goodnights). I wouldn't push it. Just keep him in pullups at night as long as he needs. He'll come around. And that way you don't have to keep changing sheets.

TinaMarie - posted on 05/08/2009

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Give him only milk after 4:00 PM!!! I had a friend tell me that when it comes to all other beverages we rent them but when it comes to milk the body keeps it!!! I did it with my daughter and it worked!!

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Also, just remember that bed wetting doesn't mean the kids is lazy (i was accused of this as a kid). Sometimes their bladder just isn't strong enough yet to hold it. Other than pregnant women, people don't wake up to go pee. Your body holds it till you wake.
Other times the child is sleeping too deeply to wake up. I had this problem. I remember having dreams that I was going to the bathroom. They were so vivid. It wasn't until I woke up wet that I knew I was only dreaming.

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Pull-ups are a good idea, but also talk to your doctor. I know there are meds out now to help kids with this. My son is 4 and has the same problem. He has slept in pull-ups since we started to see the signs.
He has never hid it from me though. Your may feel your frustration and that is why he hides it (not that you are doing anything wrong...it can be frustrating). I don't get frustrated with it only cause I was a bed wetter till I was 10 and my husband was til much later. I've read that it is inherited genetically so we knew when we got married that our kids where probably going to have the problem. I remember growing up with it and dealing with cruel kids (including my siblings). It was tough.
The only reason I suggest meds is for sleep overs. The last time my son had a sleep over was the first time he had to deal with another kid's comments. The mother tried to prevent it, but once he realized my son was sleeping in a "diaper"...it was too late. My husband and I don't want to medicate him nightly. We will only have him use meds before sleep overs so he doesn't have to wear a "diaper" and he can stay dry.

Sarah - posted on 05/07/2009

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I use "goodnights" and we call them "nighttime underwear". I didn't want him to think that we are putting him back in diapers like a baby. I want him to know that it's not a big deal, that he will grow out of it, that he does still need to take proper precautions like not drinking right before bed and trying to get up at night, but I hated the mess every morning. And honestly it did cause more stress for him to be wet every night. So it works for us to do it this way, but maybe not for other people. Good luck in finding what works for you. At least try everything, then you'll know what works and what doesn't.

Tara - posted on 05/07/2009

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I never make him feel bad, I do get frustrated and I know he has felt that at times but I have always told him it's not his fault and I won't be mad at him (cause he has kept it from me at times) Thanks for the advice, I will get some pull ups and not make a big deal of it!!!

Melanie - posted on 05/07/2009

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Oh and since he is waking up sometimes to go I wouldn't worry to much it sounds like he'll be growing out of it soon enough. But make sure you give him enough time never rush them thats how accidents happen and remember it bug you but think about how embarasing it is for him :)

Melanie - posted on 05/07/2009

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good night pull ups are a good idea. Did you know that most boys nervs in thier penis do not properly develope untill they are around 7 years old so your son might not be feeling that he needs to go when he's asleep. Never berate your child for it! They will start to hide it from you and lie and all of this is caused by making them feel guilty for something they have no control over. Sometimes they just need to wear goodnights for a while, just keep them on him till he starts to wake up in the middle of the night to go. Also does your son have a plastic coated bed? If not you should replace the matress and start using the goodnights. The bacteria that could be living in the matress from the urine could make your son increadably ill. Changing the sheet won't do it, you will have to replace the matress. Good luck and if the problem persists past 7 years odl take your son to a peditricia there are opereations and things they can do to help. Also if your son has been circumcised it could take longer for the nervs to develope because so many were removed with the skin.

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